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Original poster

Grandad (and now Gran) Vibes Thread - Needing all you can throw!!

53 replies

FLAMEinEckItsYuleAgain · 14/12/2006 14:19

I thought I'd start them their own thread - the story continues...

My grandparents live in the house that decluttering forgot - teeny walkways through towers of cr*p, rooms you can't enter because they are full etc.

Today, my gran fell - on her way to hospital with a probable broken shoulder and hip.

My grandad's stomach is a mess and he keeps soiling himself - he is a very proud man and is horrified by it.

He is just crying and crying because my Gran is hurt.

Social services have finally been called by the paramedics as they couldn't see how they could live there (this is potentially a good thing as my gran has been insisting she needs no help and that my g/dad will never go into a home) - so far SS have said they will send help 4 times a day... I am hoping my mum will be able to explain to them that my g/dad is not capable of being left alone for that long.

My aunt (who lives much closer) has her own health worries right now, and is struggling with bearing the brunt of the care.

My mum has a bag packed and is just awaiting instructions as to what is happening and where she is going.

I don't know what is going to happen - my grandparents are still so in love - they are the two halves of the same whole kind of couple, and I don't see one living long without the other. I think that this fall could be enough to send my g/dad over, and that the grief would be the end of my gran.

I just want 2006 over with. I can't take much more of this, and neither can my mum. DS has been one of the few bright points this year.

OP posts:
onzephyrstdayofchristmas · 15/12/2006 12:54

Yes there may well be an inquest then. My Nan's inquest is next week It was because the coroner couldn't pinpoint a certain cause of death. Your family will get given a temporary type certificate though so they can get things done.

Flamesparrow · 15/12/2006 13:03

Zephyr

What happens with the funeral if there is pm/inquest?

onzephyrstdayofchristmas · 15/12/2006 13:05

I think you have to hold off until the coroner is satisfied to release the body. My Nana died May 19th, funeral was June 1st - My Mum pushed for it because we all wanted to have the funeral sooner rather than later but it could have taken longer if we'd let them.

onzephyrstdayofchristmas · 15/12/2006 13:07

I guess it depends on what's wrong though. With us it was the hospital's mistake/fault which is why there is an inquest so I guess if they do a pm and the coroner is happy with what happened you won't have to have one.

Flamesparrow · 15/12/2006 13:08

I'll let you know when I hear more.

onzephyrstdayofchristmas · 15/12/2006 13:09

Ok, take care

Flamesparrow · 15/12/2006 18:21

This has hit me a lot harder than I realised it would. There is to be a postmortem - can't be done until Monday so my mum is coming back Sunday evening so she can see DD in her school concert (no idea if she is being an angel or what ) on Monday morning, and then head back. They can't arrange anything until that is done and they have the death certificate, so it looks like the funeral won't be until after Christmas.

My gran is out of hospital and in a rest home for the time being - I don't know how long that will be.

I don't know where my mum will spend Christmas - I don't want my gran to be alone, but at the same time I want my mum with me - she's lost her dad and I just want to be able to look after her.

I will be speaking to my mum tonight, will be able to know more then... I don't know how my gran is taking it. It still have the overwhelming feeling that they have lived for eachother for so long, that she probably won't make it to 2007. If dying of a broken heart is possible, she is a prime candidate.

NbgSparklyYellowFeathers · 15/12/2006 18:28

Oh I'm so so sorry FS.
How sad.
Your grandparents sound like wonderful people.
I hope your Gran is ok.
xxx

Flamesparrow · 15/12/2006 18:31

the what DD is being the school play part was for the feb mums... i cut and pasted..

onzephyrstdayofchristmas · 15/12/2006 19:04

Hiya Flame. Take it easy over the next few days, it will start to sink in. It's good to hear that your Gran is somewhere that she can be looked after 24/7. Be there for your Mum but take time for yourself as well. Would you all be able to get over to your Mum's on xmas day so you can all be together and go to see your Gran as well? It might give you all a lift to be around each other.

I totally understand what you have written about your Gran not being able to live without your Grandad - my Nan lived for almost 9 years after we lost my Grandad but she never got over it and when it came down it she didn't have the fight in her without him... although it is a huge comfort to have them back together. Hopefully your Gran will heal quickly though and with you and your Mum around she will be ok.

Flamesparrow · 15/12/2006 19:21

I have no idea where anyone will be on xmas day - my gran lives in Cornwall, my mum here in Bournemouth... it seems wrong to be thinking about christmas somehow, but I have 2 little people here who need me too.

Flamesparrow · 15/12/2006 22:53

Have spoken to my mum - she says to go to Yule without her - that it will be special and I need to be there. Gran is doing very well - she hasn't just completely given up like we had expected.... the parrot is another story. He's not eating anything

Xmas looks like we go ahead as planned with xmas eve with my sister and mum, and then xmas day will be just me, DH and DC - mum will have my Gran at her house and they will have a quiet day.

Oh, my mum only slept for a few minutes last night, but she had been thinking about how my g/dad was with his mother and sister now... whilst she slept she saw him very very clearly but not with them, with a man of about 20 who looked very much like my gran and my uncle - we are thinking the son they lost at birth. They are finally together.

nearlythree · 15/12/2006 23:03

Flamesparrow, only just seen this. I'm so sorry. Sending you and yours lots of love and peace. xxxx

OnXmasdayinthemorgan · 16/12/2006 06:21

Really sorry Flame - just read this.

Original poster
FLAMEinEckItsYuleAgain · 18/12/2006 13:33

Right, PM is back - bronchial pneumonia, coronary disease and diabetes. All things we knew he had

Funeral is probably going to be Thurs 28th.

OP posts:
onzephyrstdayofchristmas · 18/12/2006 13:57

Aww bless him At least you know now though and you won't have the worry of it all being delayed/inquest.

How are you all doing? Is your Nan ok?

mumofmonstersNotActuallyHere · 18/12/2006 13:58

How u doing? (((flame)))) candle still going x

SaintGeorge · 18/12/2006 14:32

At least you know now flamey.

My thoughts are still with you.

I haven't forgot your Yule gift by the way. I promise to post it in time so you have the choice of opening it on Thursday or waiting for Christmas.

xx

Original poster
FLAMEinEckItsYuleAgain · 18/12/2006 20:25

5th January?! The woman they want to do the service is away over xmas/new year. I was hoping it would be in 2006 so we could start 2007 afresh iyswim.

I'm doing ok, worried about my mum more than anything. My gran is doing really well - even asked for makeup today

OP posts:
southeastastra · 18/12/2006 20:37

sorry to hear about your grandad, especially this time of year, glad your gran is ok

onzephyrstdayofchristmas · 18/12/2006 20:44

Fantastic to hear that your Gran is doing well

Has your Mum got someone with her?

Original poster
FLAMEinEckItsYuleAgain · 19/12/2006 09:12

She's got me as much as she will let me (lives alone but only 2 mins drive from me) - I have been invading her every evening regardless of whether she wants me

OP posts:
onzephyrstdayofchristmas · 19/12/2006 09:57

good! She will appreciate you being there. My Nan's inquest is this afternoon. In a way can't wait for it all to be over

Original poster
FLAMEinEckItsYuleAgain · 19/12/2006 13:49

Thinking of you

OP posts:
twinkletinselpud · 21/12/2006 20:53

i am so sorry flamey, have only just caught this after probs at home. it sounds lovely for you to have seen your gdad with his family (((((((((((hugs)))))))))))