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A new Christian prayer thread for 2014

999 replies

Tuo · 02/01/2014 00:58

Welcome to our new prayer thread for 2014. This is a safe and supportive place of prayer, where regulars, occasional visitors and lurkers, committed Christians and those just dipping a toe into the water are all equally welcome. Come and leave a prayer, tell us what’s going on in your life, bring your worries, hopes, fears and joys to God, and know that you will be prayed for.

We pray, in particular, for...

... amberlight, for her work raising awareness of autism in churches, and for her to know love and acceptance wherever she goes;

... Badvoc and her family, as they grieve for her dad; prayers too for her aunt who is seriously ill; and prayers for a good recovery from her gallstones operation;

... BananasForTed, praying for her mental health and for her difficult work situation, and also praying that she was able to go back to her church and that she found support there;

... BlackEyedSusan, for all the many things which she has to juggle in her life as a single parent; in particular, we pray for her mum's health, and for both her DC to receive the support that they need at school;

... BlessedAssurance, when she feels challenged because of her faith at her place of work; also for her pregnancy and for her eye problems;

... BoxOfDelights, for her to find somewhere good to live and a job;

... bountyicecream, thanking God for her renewed happiness after leaving a very difficult and abusive relationship, and praying that she will continue to grow in happiness and strength in the future;

... CharlotteCollinsisinherownplace, giving thanks for her new home and new job;

... Don'tsteponthemomeraths, thanking God that an MRI has shown her brain to be normal, and for the continued progress of her niece, little Grace, born prematurely;

... DutchOma and Bob, for Bob's health to be as stable as possible and for him to receive good care in the hospice; also praying for him to see some glimpses of light in what is, admittedly, a very difficult situation, so that his outlook may be less 'catastrophic'; and praying for Oma that she may find rest and peace of mind and support at this time;

... Gingercurl, giving thanks for the successful completion of her thesis and praying for her viva to go well; also for Ginger’s MIL who has been diagnosed with cancer;

... HadALittleFaithBaby, for all bugs to leave to Faith household; also for her neighbour who has cancer and for his family;

... JugglingFromHereToThere, for a job which interests and fulfils her;

... Kaykat, giving thanks that she is now settled and happy in her new home with her DS, and praying for her DS to cope well with his new situation and not allow his dad to influence him in a negative way; also praying that she will find a welcoming church community in her new place;

... MadHairDay, thanking God for a Christmas spent at home with her family, and praying for continued health in 2014; praying too for health and love and friendship for MHD’s DD;

... NeverKnowinglyUnderstood, for her relationship with her DS and for support for them to understand his anger and frustration and find ways to avoid it if possible;

... niminypiminy, for happiness in her new home;

... octopusinastringbag, thinking of her as she feels drawn to explore faith in more depth;

... PandaG, for her mum's health;

... PositiveAttitude and her family; in particular, at this time, for DD3, praying for a happy end to her pregnancy with no complications; also praying for PA's parents’ health, for her DD1's finances, for her DS's anxiety, and for PA as she awaits the outcome of a job application and misses her DH and DD4;

... revivingshower, praying for her back pain to ease and thanking God for her family who've been supporting her during this tough time;

... RoomForALittleOne, for her DD3 to stay well and to sleep well too, so that Room can get enough rest;

... RunRunRuby, thanking God that she has come to our thread and praying that her faith may be strengthened;

... SESthebrave, for all that she has to juggle in her life, with work and DC;

... SunshinemMum, praying for her and her family as they look for a new spiritual home after leaving their previous church; may they find the place that is right for them, and may it welcome them with open arms;

... thegreenheartofmanyroundabouts, for a more peaceful time now to recover from the hecticness that is Christmas, and for her academic work;

... weegiemum, giving thanks for her own better health, but praying for her stepmum and for Kat, who are both seriously unwell and for all in the family affected by their illnesses;

We pray also for all regular and occasional visitors, and those we haven't seen for a while, including: Bluetinkerbell, cloutiedumpling, EasyCompadre, FairPhyllis, fluffieduckie, FriendOfDorothy, GoodbyeRubyTuesday, harbinger and her family, JakeBullet, jan and her DD, ktef, LollipopViolet, MaryBS, notquiteagrownup, PloddingDaily, Soozi, thehorridestmumintheworld, trish5000, youretoastmildred, and zulubump, and for anyone I've forgotten to name-check (don't take it personally, please!). And we pray for those who read and pray but don’t post, for those who need our prayers but are afraid or too uncertain to post them, and for all those known to us in our own lives who need God’s love.

May God bless us all in 2014.

OP posts:
BlackeyedSusan · 04/04/2014 07:52

ahh medicine ois a wonderful thing. yesterday ibuprofen worked fairly well, today it will be cough medicine.

I think ds will be okl to go to school. I will check when he is up.

BlackeyedSusan · 04/04/2014 13:36

ds went to school and got an award in assembly. yay. at least this year we did not have to wait until the end of the year to get one, and watch children get their second one before he had had his first.

PositiveAttitude · 04/04/2014 16:15

Hi, sorry for absence! DD3, her DH and baby have moved out to their own lovely new place today. It was lovely having them here, but I am also breathing a huge sigh of relief that my home is mine again without being stuffed with the whole contents of another house crammed into it!

DD1 is home now until after Easter - I am booking a day off to do absolutely NOTHING and be on my own and not speak to another human being all day at the beginning of May.

I'd appreciate prayers for our finances and provision. I have just agreed to buying a car from a friend, we definitely need a new car, it is very cheap and reliable, but handing over that much money when I know it is going to leave us so tight is making me very nervous. I had hoped to be able to sell our car, but I think I am going to have to scrap it, so will get minimum. Sad

DontstepontheMomeRaths · 04/04/2014 19:25

BES if it is sinuses I find Sinutab works wonders with lots of steam and menthol and eucalyptus in it too.

Pa praying for peace and provision x

BlackeyedSusan · 04/04/2014 21:21

aggghhh computer crashing again. ju

BlackeyedSusan · 04/04/2014 21:22

it si having a paddy again. feeling cut off.

BlackeyedSusan · 04/04/2014 21:23

we are going to have to get a new one.

children are both wanting to go to school tomorrow for the school fayre. on a saturday? eek.

BlackeyedSusan · 04/04/2014 21:24

I'm not!

CharlotteCollins · 04/04/2014 22:56

jan - I took him back for 6 weeks about a year ago. I regretted it almost immediately, although I didn't admit that even to myself for a month or so. I can see my instant doubts in my journal entries, though. It's not an easy read! I then split up with him properly last May and moved out in October. There is no way I'd go back now. And normal life is just so much easier and lighter now. I feel like someone who thought they'd spend their life in prison who's just been unexpectedly released. I have my life back - I really had lost a large part of who I was.

Anyway. I'm so sorry that you're feeling so bad. Glad your parents were able to help last night and hope you feel less sick soon. Flowers

jan2014 · 05/04/2014 07:14

PA wow i can't believe your dd has a baby! i have missed so much.

mhd sorry you aren't too good right now really hope you don't have to go in to hospital. thank you for being so supportive.

charlotte...that must have been so so difficult taking him back and going through with that.... im so sorry for what you have been through, but do you think perhaps that had to happen for confirmation that it wasn't going to work? im so glad you are doing so well now, i think you are an amazing person, really.

i am just quite worried about things. if i go on the relationship board i get flamed and people tell me what am i doing going to marriage counselling and just to leave him and don't even think about getting back with him. in real life people are glad we are in counselling and think it might work and keep telling me just to take it slow. for me... i just don't know what to think. he has literally gone from being a twat to being so nice and a complete turn around and saying he wants to show me another side of me and is sorry. but i haven't seen the heart felt tears sorry... maybe thats asking too much. anyway... i just don't know what to think so im just going with it for now and taking it slow like people are saying.

DontstepontheMomeRaths · 05/04/2014 09:21

Jan if your friends in RL think it's good you're getting counselling, can I just ask, are they all married and Christians? Their perspective is naturally marriage is for life and is sacred. Which it is! But it must be confusing if mn say one thing and trusted friends another. I'd be more likely to trust advice from divorced Christians tbh. So I hope you have some of those?

Do these friends remember what he was like? Did they witness his behaviour?

So many people who come to the divorce course have had such bad advice from Church and Christian friends I've found. In abusive marriages reconciliation isn't going to work. In fact people have come on the course after being unhappy for years but in one instance they finally caught their ex out in having an affair and then had permission to divorce Sad They'd had immense pressure to stay together until that point.

No one should feel obligated or pressured to make a marriage work when the partner is abusive. Physically or emotionally. He was so horrible to you when together. I would like to think he's a changed man but I don't think so.

I get on so much better with my ex now we're divorced and do not live together, as the pressures are different and we have space. I'm certain if he lived with me, things would soon revert to how he was before. He is still a naturally selfish person. These days I'm so glad we're divorced. But when I was trying to decide what to do I felt very confused and conflicted as marriage is meant to be for life and I worried about my kids growing up without living with their Dad. But looking back I'm glad I was brave enough to end it with prayer and support from my Church pastor. I'm glad you've found a new Church by the way. I hope they're a real support to you.

Taking it slow is a wise move. That is good advice. I guess we all reach the stage of knowing if it'll work or not in our own time. I just worry for you. Perhaps I should stop worrying and just pray? Wink

Kaykat · 05/04/2014 10:38

Mome that's so true. Your divorce course sounds wonderful and I wish more churches would do this. Many married Christians have no clue about abusive men. I had such a strong belief that marriage was for life that I honestly thought I had no other option than to put up with him treating me badly and it wasn't until he cheated that I was set free. If I had met women years ago who were Christians and had left their husbands due to abuse maybe they could have changed my beliefs and maybe I could have got free much sooner. That's why I think that Christian ladies who have left their husbands because of abuse like Charlotte and Jan have so much potential to help others.

BlackeyedSusan · 05/04/2014 11:18

I was "lucky" that he hit me so could prove he was abusive. sometimes the insidious creeping into every sphere of life emotional abuse can be more destructive, and so difficult to prove. Abuse is abuse and breaking marriage vows. this teching about marriage is sacred and for life is useful in some circumstances but needs to be balanced with the message that it is not ok for abuse and staying is not manadatory. Not hearing that could have got the likes of me killed. (thank God for peripheral vision and lightening quick reactions and his protection)

BlackeyedSusan · 05/04/2014 11:25

people like to keep the status quo. they like happily ever after fairy tale endings.. divorce does not fit that and they can ignore the abuse as they do not see it nor experience it. perhaps others leaving shines a light on their unhappy relationships, not necessarily abusive.

I remember seeing divorce counselling advertised at the salvation army and thinking it was terrible... even though there was already dv. my thinking was so wrong. I looked in so many christian books on marriage and they rarely mentioned abuse. I have heard sermons about not saying your husnaband is an idiot. I wish I had stood up and said something now. sure I was not the only one who was in an abusive marriage. (though I had just left)

Dutchoma · 05/04/2014 11:36

I've said this before, but think it can't be repeated often enough:
People like to read Ephesians 6 from v25 every other verse or so: Wives must submit to their husbands in everything, love their husbands etc. They do NOT read: husbands should love their wives as their own bodies, he should feed and care for it, just as Christ cares for the church.

So look at what the wife is supposed to 'submit' to: total self sacrificing care and love. Looked at it like that, who wouldn't?
Who would call a husband who does that an idiot?
I know this is the ideal and few can manage to live up to it. But so often there is not the understanding that the demands on the wife are the result of the behaviour of the husband. If his behaviour is bad there should be no demand for 'submission'.

jan2014 · 05/04/2014 11:50

i totally agree with what everyone is saying.... and without a doubt if he was not changing then i wouldn't be thinking about getting back with him. i also know that i don't HAVE to get back with him. but what about forgiveness, and seeing him change and reconciliation in this way? i know most men don't change. but nothing is impossible. mome you are right most of my friends are married christians, and i am taking their advice with a pinch of salt. i have one friend, a christian who has 2 failed abusive marriages and she gives sound advice, and she is saying that the fact he is taking responsibility and is starting to change in actions shows there might be hope.

the one thing that is very frustrating in all this, is if i knew it wasn't going to work out now i wouldn't waste my energy going over all the past relationship issues. if we were going to think about reconciliation all those issues are completely essential to deal with in counselling - his attitude towards them. and its a painful process, and if it wasn't going to work at least i would just deal with current issues to do with dd etc. it IS confusing. i wish God would just tell me what to do NOW. why with God is everything such a massive waiting game. and of course i can't go looking for anyone else cos i still can't have closure (yes i know i can have it but i don't want to go there just yet because he is 'changing')

BlackeyedSusan · 05/04/2014 12:39

I am staring on the big clear up. so far we have managed a miniscule tidy. I am much tieder than I thought.

Kaykat · 05/04/2014 12:46

How has he changed Jan? Does he resemble the husband described in Ephesians 6? Is he respectful and supportive doing all he can to help with DD so that you can rest? Does he fully admit and recognise his bad behaviour with no excuses or blaming? How does he respond to you in a disagreement?

DontstepontheMomeRaths · 05/04/2014 12:49

Yes it's tricky Jan. I heard God clearly towards the end and knew it was the right choice.

I love that book called Not Under Bondage BES. There aren't enough books like that that discuss abuse and how to deal with it as Christians. Maybe you could write one one day? The more the better.

jan2014 · 05/04/2014 13:37

BES i am also tidying and washing and changing beds today its very therapeutic having the space to do so!

Mome thats what i need, a clear voice! and yes it is tricky. im so glad you made the choice that worked for you and im sorry your christian friends at the time weren't able to give you the support you needed. they really are terribly misinformed aren't they! will have a look for that book... maybe he should read it ... lol

kaykat so far, he has taken dd all this weekend (first time) to make up for last week he couldn't see her as he was sick, and because im not feeling well. he is admitting and apologising for his bad behaviour with no excuses or blaming (only since i said i was getting the divorce mind you) and in disagreement.... well so far we haven't got that far, that is exactley what needs to be tested. and im going to go out with him to discuss issues to do with dd on my own and make it clear what i expect, so there will be lots of ground for disagreement!

i have made an immune boosting vegetable broth in the slow cooker today. so proud of myself as during the week i was eating so much junk its no wonder im not getting much better.

Kaykat · 05/04/2014 14:17

Oo I love doing slow cooking you feel like you are eating neat vitamins and the food comes out so delicious. It sounds like he has improved, the question is whether its long term or simply to prevent you divorcing him. I think forgiveness is a separate issue to whether or not you want to go back to being in a relationship. My ex is always accusing me of lacking forgiveness because I won't take him back.

Dutchoma · 05/04/2014 16:18

I heard a very memorable thing about forgiveness a little while ago:
You may forgive a pedophile for his misdemeanours, but you don't get him to teach a Sunday school class.

I think that is very true.

BlackeyedSusan · 05/04/2014 18:44

we have been working all day, on and off. there has been a lot one yet it still feels a mess. I have run out of energy. there are a lot of unidentified stresses hanging about. hormones, tiredness and still being under the weather... and I want to cry.

DontstepontheMomeRaths · 05/04/2014 19:26

Jan my friends were quite good, although some friendships fell away at the time. Some do. But I've made new and amazing friends post divorce too.

I was talking about people who come on the course x

That broth sounds lovely.

BES my lovely. Know the feeling. ((Hugs)) from Herts x x x

CharlotteCollins · 05/04/2014 22:30

Jan, yes I think you're right, that I had to go through that to know it was over afterwards.

Lundy Bancroft has a section in his book ("Why does he do that?") about whether abusers are really changing or just making a good show of it. He has a checklist to look through to see how he's really doing.

Personally, the thought of any relationship with any man makes me feel slightly queasy! I'm quite in awe of your resilience that you're open to giving it another go. xx