Welcome to muslim tea room 2.

[defuse]

Peace to you all

Ok, well here it is again...we have moved to room 2 now

Discuss whatever aspect of islam you like my lovely sisters - this is a place for muslims and non-muslims too, to share experiences, raising kids or just having your say!

The kettle is on.... We have loads of herbal teas, coffee and guava juice .... I like guava juice so welcome!

Hi crescent I found the free from range at Asda good in terms or flour, bread I get the warburton gluten free bread n pasta from that range as well.

Everywhere pretty much does gf cf now so you won't be short of places to find items from.
I hide a lot of veggies in puréed form in red sauces, stews, curries.

Ramadan is on it's way and I feel worse than last year subhanaAllah.
My aim is to open the Quran and just read...a step down from last year's hifdh but something nonetheless

Crescent, I don't precook everything before freezing. Chickens and fish are marinated in a few different ways and packed in freezer bags. Some of these are just put straight into the oven and some are used as a base for other dishes, such as biryani, khawser, etc.

Besides that, I make four different types of samosas (lamb mince, veg, chicken and jalepeno/chicken/corn), seekh kababs, chappal kababs (round flat ones), chicken nuggets, cheese balls, chicken squares, cutlets, etc. these all just need frying. I fry after magrib salah so that it's all piping hot by the time the boys come home from salah. It also means I'm not standing at the stove in the precious time leading to Iftar.

Then there's the pastries- chicken, lamb, steak and cheese and onion. I pop a few into the cold oven after Asar and turn it on half an hour before Iftar.

Then I do a few Shepards pies, steak pies, lasagnes, homemade pizzas, savoury bread rolls, etc. These I take out and put in the fridge at suhoor time, ready for the oven before Iftar.

And I do a few frozen desserts too. I also chop spinach up and pack into freezer bags, and peppers, leeks, spring onion, cauliflower etc so there's less to do when actually cooking. Cheese is grated and frozen, chutney bases (coriander, chilli, garlic, cumin) are prepared and frozen into ice cubes, garlic and ginger in peeled, minced and packed into small bags to defrost each week.

I know it sounds like a mammoth task but it means we spend less time in the kitchen in Ramadan. I can have an elaborate Iftar with 3-4 different savouries, two dishes, a dessert and dips/salad/fruit salad, all set out with only 30-45 mins of preparation.

Tbh, nearly all the women in our families do it. It's a Gujrati thing . My mum does the same as do all my aunts and cousins and my gran also used to prepare for Ramadan in a similar way by stocking up the freezer. The one thing I do differently from them is that I have a maximum one hour time limit for cooking and clearing up afterwards and I also don't go into the kitchen to cook between Asar and magrib if it can be helped.

Wow diet that sounds amazing. I need a lie down just reading all of that! You put my attempts or lack of to shame!

Here's my iftar (have already mentioned this before, but it looks so much less fun than yours. - not being ungrateful, alhamdulillah i still love it ).
Frozen samosas (preferably bought from lady who does all the prep ). Salad. Main course ( curry or pasta or wraps usually). Fruit salad. That is it Everyone stuffed!

I love gujarati vegetarian dishes, though never been able to replicate. If you have any delicious veg dish recipes, then please share.

Mashallah Diet that sounds amazing. I'm gobsmacked by the amount of prep you put in. This year I want to meal plan rather than decide on the day what to cook, and I want to get all the main cooking done straight from school drop off so I don't have to worry about it for the rest of the day. But that's as far as my prep goes.

You're an inspiration.

And defuse has reminded me I make fruit salad every too, cleanses the palette!

I really really don't want to over indulge this year, I want to keep it simple inshallah.

I'm going to make an eid count down calendar, in it will be a small treat each and a Hadith of the day rolled up inside it, inshallah.

lost i am so gonna copy your idea of Eid countdown calendar. That sounds wonderful.

Is anybody able to tell me what sock puppeting might be??? Can you tell i have far too much time on my hands at work nowadays!

Erm...i have a question.....(lighthearted).....i am doing an ok job of putting the love of God in the hearts of my kids.....but erm....how do i put the fear of God in them????? .

I'm collecting the middle of kitchen rolls and going to cut them in half. I'm either going to wrap the roll with wrapping paper, leaving the ends free, or paper mâché it and get the kids to paint them. I'm then going to fill it and cover the ends then number them to 30 and arrange them in a nice way. Something like these above inshallah.

Sock puppets, I think, are people who post on one thread under two or more names posting conflicting messages to start a bun fight!

I'm not quite sure how to get the fear of Allah into children. I think with dd1 I've explained hell fire and the kind of things you'd have to do to get there. She knows all about Satan and his whispers. I've started basic with telling her you shouldn't lie, be horrible to other people, talk about people behind their backs etc, and I told her the consequence if she does doesn't stop her lying. I'm quite matter of fact sometimes, in equal measure to telling her how wonderful Allah is. I don't know if I'm doing it right as I don't have any guidance in this area. I can only pray she stays on the right path and that I've given her a good enough start.

Dd2 is a bit young I think so I've just started telling her what He likes and expects from little girls (saying bismillah before eating, alhamdullilah when necessary etc). She also knows the 6 kalima and Surah al Fatiha and says them when prompted.

I always maintain the best we can do for our children is lead by example. I can't stand hypocrites my nearly ex husband, it's not a very nice thing to witness.

Sorry that was longer than I thought!!

Elusive, I will post some Gujarati recipes soon, Insha'Allah. Do I just post them here or pm you? I don't want to take the thread over with food talk. I end up doing that quite often.

It might all sound very impressive, but I try not to let everyone get too used to such a varied iftar. I don't want the DCs to take it all for granted or expect it. We've been spending part of Ramadan in umrah for the past few years so I make simple things for iftar there, like a one pot pasta or egg and cheese sandwiches or chicken paninis. They have just that with dates and fruit.

But when I'm at home I always feel like I want to prepare something nice for the family, especially after the long fasts. So I try to make something they'll enjoy. Anyway, I have six DC, three of them growing teenagers so I have to make sure I've got enough to go round.

Lost, the advent calendar looks lovely and quirky. I'm another one who might just copy your idea.

About teaching children about the fearing Allah. I don't tend to focus on it for the younger ones. We talk about Allah's love and trusting Him, asking Him for help, worshipping him, His rewards, paradise. I've never sat down with them and talked about fearing Allah, but I do stress that they should be mindful of their words and actions as Allah is always watching. Even with children at madrasah, we don't focus on teaching them fear of Allah. It can be scary for children and we mainly just focus on building up their Iman and encouraging them to do good deeds and make good decisions.

I will say, for example, to my DC that Allah doesn't like us to lie but I discourage them from lying by telling them how the angels run a mile away from us when we lie because of the stench of the lie and I will tell them about Sayyadina AbuBakr Siddiq and how he was The Truthful one and how that raised his status to being the greatest of companions. I'll also talk to them about how the truthful will be amongst the shuhada and prophets in Paradise. That is enough for them for now.

When they're older, we'll also talk about the ahadith of punishment and discouragement. That's not to say, we gloss over them for the younger ones; we do hadith circles at home a few nights a week and when it comes up in the hadith we mention it and discuss it.

I'm waffling again, but I think in a nutshell, what I mean to say is teach them about awareness of Allah and being mindful of their actions and that in itself will instill fear of doing things to displease Him. Also, use the words of ahadith to talk about punishment and fear because the words of the Messenger SAW are so perfect and well-worded that I've found that in using them, one can't go wrong.

Thanks for the picture lost. I am now clear on what I have to do.

I have never done the fear of Allah approach as yet but then again most of the DCs are too young for that (except for eldest DC) and realised that my DC's cousins know a lot more about fearing Allah as a concept than mine do. I also realised that by the time I was the age of my older DC, i was aware of both concepts, my eldest is not. You know how your heart is supposed to be between hope and fear....well i have always put too much focus on hope, maybe i need a bit more focus on fear to counterbalance things so i dont get too complacent.

Having said that, i recall reading a book about life in the grave at age 8!!! I was petrified! Mum was annoyed that i had picked up that book to read in bed - i wasnt supposed to! . My dad had to spend the following week staying with me at bedtime until i drifted off to sleep!

diet I am in awe of you, mashallah mashallah. Where do you find the time to do hadith circles a few times a week with your DCs!!! I barely get them fed and skim over their homework and they do their salah and its bedtime before we know it! Please share your recipes on this thread - i know other sisters are also looking for ideas too. I love love love gujrati cooking. Havent had much, but when i have, its been totes amazeballs!! (Sorry, had to get that in!)

Yes please post the recipes on the thread Diet, I'd like to give something a go!

Where do to you find the time with 6 dc? I can only just keep up with 3! You seem to be fantastically organised which I guess is key. Mashallah.

Defuse, I'm going to arrange mine into a crescent shape, I'll post the finished product once I've done it .

I love your story about reading the book when you were 8, at least that was you told and your parents didn't have to worry about how to explain it to you later in life!

Thanks for the link crescent, it's really interesting isn't it. I think that farm is amazing. Thanks peaceful for bringing it to this thread originally. Some of the links in the article are great, I love the halal food festival and the term haloodie. If there was a food festival near me I'd definitely go. I like going to county shows where there's local produce on sale. I got some really nice oils and chutneys last year that are nearly running out!

Salaam gorgeous ladies

I'm a newbie here, lovely to see all the sisters on MN

Please keep me in your duas....I am having a driving lesson later! Jazakhallahkhayr
Hope you are all well both in imaan and health inshaAllah

Thanks Crescent, I have often enjoyed reading your articulate and interesting posts, mashaAllah. I am a revert and have learnt in the last few years that us Muslims will always share different views and opinions in issues of Fiqh and other things, but that actually, arguing and debating brings nothing but grief. To me personally anyway! I now enjoy sitting back, listening to what others have to say, and taking bits I like from them to implement in my own life: hope that makes sense that's the true beauty of islam, the differences in everyone. Reminds me how Allah has an individual relationship with every single one of us, alhamdulilah.

Salams all

Wow Diet I am in awe of you. Mashallah. I hope I can be 1/10th as organised as you one day in my life. I was particularly impressed about how much ibadah you manage to fit in but it makes sense. If your not faffing around with all the trivialities like cooking iftar, visiting people and sorting out your house then you really do have a lot of time to concentrate on perfecting your worship. I always feel like I have not done enough in Ramadhan and this year I really want to set some goals. Just wanted to ask how did you manage when your dcs were little. Have you always had the same routine or has it developed as they have become older and more responsible.

Lost I really liked your calendar as well. I wish I had time to make it but I think Im going to go for the lazy option and buy a ready made one though I think I will copy your hadith a day plan.

Defuse Im glad you mentioned tabbouleh. Its one of my favourite salads and luckily one I can make though I dont know how close it is to the original but its quite simple and easy to replicate. Basically how my dm does it (she taught me it I just copy) is chop the vegetables (tomatoes, cucumber, spring onion, peppers - whatever you want really) quite fine and then adds couscous to it rather then the bulgar wheat which I think is what is normally added to it, though I might be wrong. Its much easier to make with couscous and I think it makes it more filling. To make couscous you just measure out how much you want using a cup then add the exact same amount of water and cover with a dishcloth. After a while check on it if you feel its too dry add a bit more water. When its done add butter and mix it through then add to salad vegetables. You also have to add parsley to it too which we also chop quite fine. After that season with salt, lemon or olive oil. I found this article from the guardian on the perfect tabbouleh which is a bit too more technical. www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/wordofmouth/2013/jul/17/how-to-make-perfect-tabbouleh

Anyway did any of you see this article in the guardian recently. www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/jun/02/meriam-ibrahim-case-state-islam-apostasy-sudan I was a bit about the title initially but I found I agreed with a lot of what is in the article. For example I agreed with his point that muslims are becoming less pluralistic in the sense that alternative views are castigated. MissThang (welcome by the way) I agree with your point about muslims having different views in matters of fiqh and they have always had these differences. The problem is that whilst in the past this was embraced, instead now we find that there is more intolerance towards other opinions, especially those that deviate from the literalist interpretation. This does cause a lot of gried and unnecessary division. I will give you an example. A local muslim group in my area has organised a family day trip and when I asked my friend whether she wanted to go along with me she said she is worried it will be unislamic. Unislamic? Imagine a trip organised by a muslim organisation. But this is how some people are where if your opinion is not the same as theirs you must be wrong, you must be deviant or 'unislamic'. It makes me sad that more dont just adopt your attitude missthang which I share which is to take the good from people and leave the bad.

Another thing I agreed with from his article is this point.

After decades of oppressive rule by dictatorial regimes, large sections of the Arab world have been left unable to cope with a rapidly changing world. The low self-confidence that we find in large segments of the dispossessed exacerbates the sense of fear and enhances the feeling of being under threat. This in turn makes people more rigid in matters that give them comfort – for example, matters to do with religion and freedom of belief.

I think that oppression perpetuates oppression if that makes sense. In that because people feel powerless or oppressed they take it out on others around them. I think you described it before Crescent as fratricidal (sp?) war. The problem is just like you find groups in this country like the EDL or BNP who hate and want to persecute all muslims because of the actions of the few or the Islamophobes who collectively blame all muslims for actions of some extremists abroad I think you find the same thing happening in muslims countries. Because people feel threatened by outside forces whom they perceive to be christians (e.g. USA, EUrope) they lash out at their co-religionists within their own country. I read somewhere that the Arab world was 20% christian 100 years ago but this has been steadily decreasing. Well what happened 100 years ago. Colonisation of the Middle East by Europeans after the fall of the Ottomans. This in now way means I support oppression of minorities anywhere in the world but that the reasons are not based on religion but in many instances have secular causes. The article gives plenty of examples showing that we do not have to have a combative relationship though there are some on both sides who encourage it. Anyway have a read and let me know what you think.

I agree and disagree with you crescent. I dont think that the Sudanese issue is to do with race. To be honest to the outside eye you wouldnt be able to tell the Sudanese Arabs from the Sudanese Blacks. The reasons are more to do with jealousy and greed. Sorry to link to the daily mail but this makes an interesting read.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2635862/EXCLUSIVE-The-jealous-family-pregnant-mother-sentenced-death-Sudanese-jail-got-charged-dastardly-plan-STEAL-successful-business-claims-American-husbands-legal-team.html

Once again all too human, secular reasons motivate these actions. However, it is shameful that people are able to manipulate the law like that to achieve nefarious goals. I think they need to look back at the principles of the religion to guide how they implement laws. The Prophet Muhammed PBUH was not just a religious reformer but a social reformer too. His life is characterised by his struggle for social justice for the weak and dispossessed in the society and you can see that in a number of hadiths. I remember reading a story about Abu Hanifah one of the founders of the four legal schools of sunni islam.

"It is well known that Abu Hanifa used to pray tahajjud every night. He would spend his night reciting the Quran.There was a cobbler living in the Imam's neighbourhood. After his day's work he used to come home with meat and wine and entertain his friends at night. Happily drunk, he would now and again sing a couplet which said: "People have let me go to waste, me who would have been useful to them in battle and siege." The Imam, who used to spend the latter part of the night in prayer, would hear his singing, but never objected to it out of neighbourly consideration and his habitual kindness.

One night the prefect of police, who happened to pass that way, arrested the cobbler when he heard his drunken revelry. The imam did not hear the man's drunken singing that night, so he went and asked about him. They said, "Oh, so-and-so. They took him to jail." The Imam at once ordered his mount and proceeded to the governor's house. The governor then was 'Isa b. Musa, a cousin of the Caliph Mansur and distinguished among the Abbasids for sagacity and bravery. On being informed that Imam Abu Hanifah was coming to see him, he sent a number of his courtiers to receive him, with orders that he should be escorted on horseback right up to the courtyard of the governor's house.

As soon as the Imam's horse approached, he stood up and, after the Imam had dismounted, took him to a seat with all respect. Then he said, "Why have you taken the trouble of coming here? You could have sent for me." The Imam said, "What brings me here is that a cobbler who is my neighbour has been arrested by the prefect of police and I want him released." 'Isa immediately sent orders for the cobbler's release. The cobbler was brought to the governor's house and set free, and he accompanied the Imam on his way home.

The neighbor then asked Abu Hanifa why he did that. "Well, my friend," said the Imam to him, "have I allowed you to go to waste?" This was with reference to the couplet the cobbler used to sing. The cobbler replied, "No, sir, you have proved a good neighbour." From that day he changed his way of life. Giving up his drunken merrymaking, he joined the Imam's classes and in due course attained to such scholarship that he came to be known as a faqih."

I love this story as it shows the compassion and mercy that the great Imams had for their people. Imam Abu Hanifa did not focus on the fact that his neighbour had committed a sin. He didnt inform the police about him to try and get him in trouble. Instead he focused on his duty towards his neighbour even if he was a bit of a nuisance. The principle of being a good neighbour was more important to him and had more of an impact on changing the behaviour of his neighbour, the cobbler then the idea of punishing people for making mistakes.

I agree with so much of what you have both said PeacefulOptimist and Crescent. What a beautiful story about imam Abu hanifah, subhanaAllah. To put it bluntly in my opinion, I think the vast majority of leaders in Muslim countries are nothing more than backwards villagers dressed up in western clothes, obsessed with their culture, obsessed with power, and devoid of knowledge and good character. I have no hope for the future at all and literally feel like I'm waiting for Yom Ul Qiyamah now. I'm aware of how utterly awful that sounds but particularly as a revert, having seen so many Muslims using Islam as a platform to do horrific things, I just don't see when it will get better...aside from the Mahdi and Esa (as) coming back. All I'm doing is trying, like we all are, to raise our children properly and islamically.

Some hadiths about being good to your neighbour that inspired the behaviour of Abu Hanifah

Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, should not hurt his neighbor and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, should serve his guest generously and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, should talk what is good or keep quiet." - Sahih Al-Bukhari, Volume 8, Number 158

Narrated Abu Shuraih: The Prophet said, "By Allah, he does not believe! By Allah, he does not believe! By Allah, he does not believe!" It was said, "Who is that, O Allah's Apostle?" He said, "That person whose neighbor does not feel safe from his evil." - Sahih Al-Bukhari, Volume 8, Number 45

A'isha reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Jibril, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, kept on recommending that I treat neighbours well until I thought that he would order me to treat them as my heirs."

Mujahid reported that a sheep was slaughtered for 'Abdullah ibn 'Amr (a companion of the Prophet Muhammed PBUH). He asked his servant, 'Have you given any to our Jewish neighbour? Have you given any to our Jewish neighbour? I heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, 'Jibril kept on recommending that I treat my neighbours welluntil I thought that he would order me to treat them as my heirs.'"

Ibn 'Abbas told Ibn az-Zubayr, "I heard the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, 'A man is not a believer who fills his stomach while his neighbour is hungry.'"

"There is no man who wrongs his neighbour to the extent that he forces him until he makes him leave his home who is not destroyed."

Al-Hasan was asked about the neighbour and said, "The term 'neighbour' includes the forty houses in front a person, the forty houses behind him, the forty houses on his right and the forty houses on his left."

Oh and I cannot stress enough the truth about intolerance of different opinions and ideas within islam these days. Particularly with regards to women's issues and dress code. Can anyone shed light on why people are so obsessed by dress code even though there are the most pressing major things going on in the Ummah? Domestic violence and FGM to be precise. Yet it constantly goes back to sisters belittling other sisters for not dressing how they perceive modesty to be or for transgressing some unwritten rules. I'm not talking about obviously inappropriate tight top and low rise jeans, I'm talking hijab, loose trousers and long kameez tops being considered bad...no nail varnish (it'll tempt men!) and other things that are so trivial compared to the real problems this Ummah is facing. I came to islam with my rose tinted specs on, thinking every Muslim I met would practise it well and be educated and open minded...bla bla bla. How naive was I? This is why I just have no real hope for the future and think it will get worse before it gets better anytime soon.

Thankyou for those hadiths Peaceful, lovely reminder alhamdulilah

Just to make it clear that I mention the hadiths about being good to neighbours because the hadiths do not specify the religion of the neighbour, in fact you can see in one of them that the companions of the Prophet Muhammed PBUH interpreted these hadiths as applying equally to non-muslim neighbours. The minorities that live in muslim countries are the neighbours of the muslims there just like the non-muslims we live amongst are our neighbours. So these hadiths remind us to be cautious about giving our neighbours their rights and not abusing them.

I'm glad it's all working for the better crescent update and pm me as much as you like ukhti.

the diet please come stay at my house for a few days for prep bootcamp!! You sound awesome ma sha Allah