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Philosophy/religion

Join our Philosophy forum to discuss religion and spirituality.

Welcome to muslim tea room 2.

999 replies

defuse · 30/12/2013 22:18

Peace to you all Smile

Ok, well here it is again...we have moved to room 2 now Grin

Discuss whatever aspect of islam you like my lovely sisters - this is a place for muslims and non-muslims too, to share experiences, raising kids or just having your say! Smile

The kettle is on.... We have loads of herbal teas, coffee and guava juice .... I like guava juice Grin so welcome! Smile

Brew
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crescentmoon · 29/05/2014 15:49

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crescentmoon · 29/05/2014 15:58

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LostHasBeenFound · 29/05/2014 16:23

Crescent does your ds display some of the characteristics of my dd? I've only just realised they're the same age! I have really grown up conversations with her, today she said 'this hulwa is incredible isn't it'. She's like a walking dictionary. But whilst she was eating this incredible hulwa she managed to spill nearly every mouthful, knocked her drink over and then knocked her bowl flying. She's so clumsy.

I'm pleased you got your SALT referral, hopefully they'll help you and put you in the right direction inshallah. Have they mentioned anything about a diagnosis of some sort? I've done a lot of research recently and dd ticks about 90% of the boxes for aspergers and nearly all the boxes for spd. But she's fine at preschool Confused.

Mashallah he sounds like a good uncle to have around. I hope he you finds a job soon inshallah, quite often a steady job can be the making of some people, it sets a routine and gets them out of a rut.

I feel the same about Ramadan, I'm really nervous about it but excited as like we discussed up thread I want to start some traditions for the dc.

I daren't buy any dates now, I eat loads of them and they definitely would need replenishing before the start of Ramadan!

As for recipes, I make fresh lemonade everyday in a jug -
Juice of 2 lemons
Water
Half to one cup of sugar
Stir well
Add mint leaves if you want to be posh
Put in the fridge and serve ice cold

Can't wait to see everyone else's recipes.

crescentmoon · 29/05/2014 17:17

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crescentmoon · 29/05/2014 17:38

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sammythemummy · 29/05/2014 18:37

Salaam,

I seem to drift in and out of this thread!

How are you sis crescent? Jazaakallah Khair for the dua of Musa AS, I've completely forgotten to read it over my dd1...her speech is getting better but it is delayed for her age.

I'm so worried for when reception comes in sha Allah!

And Ramadan eek I'm not prepared at all... No meal plans but my husband will be going Umrah so I can spend it with my family in sha Allah

LostHasBeenFound · 29/05/2014 19:22

Salaam sammy, nice to see you. I find Ramadan creeps around so quickly every year. That's nice you can spend it with your family inshallah.

Pink tea, I'll get the recipe for you next time I'm at my inlaws. They make it a lot and the dds love it. Dd2 asked for it today but I could tell mil was shattered after slaving over the stove so I had to make up some reason why she couldn't have it cue meltdown.

That's a lovely dua crescent. I'll read it for your ds and for your dd sammy.

crescentmoon · 29/05/2014 22:02

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crescentmoon · 29/05/2014 22:12

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crescentmoon · 30/05/2014 08:08

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LostHasBeenFound · 30/05/2014 08:50

Jummah mubarak sisters.

That poem is beautiful crescent. Yet another person who passed away that I'd never heard of but now I've read up on her she sounded inspirational. May she rest in peace.

peacefuloptimist · 30/05/2014 16:29

Jummah Mubarak!

Thanks for posting that Crescent. Im a huge fan of Maya Angelou. I love that poem and another one of hers called 'Caged Bird'.

I would really recommend her autobiography 'I know why the caged bird sings'. It very inspirational, funny and moving. I read something in that book that really stuck with me. She wrote (massively paraphrased) that most parents were either great parents of young children or great parents of older children. What she meant is that most people usually find it easier to handle either small children or young adults and it is rare to find someone who can handle either age group with relative ease. I think that there is some truth to that. When I reflect on my parents, I have very vivid memories of my dad playing with me and my siblings, telling us stories, jokes and talking to us a lot as children. He was very interested in us and allowed us to express our opinions. My mother on the other hand took care of our physical needs very well but she didnt really speak to us or interact with us beyond caring for us as young children. However, as teenagers the dynamics completely changed and it was my mother who I confided in more as she was very non-judgemental, fair and rational. We also enjoyed spending time with my mother and preferred to go out with her rather then my dad who we used to find really embarrassing. My dad on the other hand really struggled with our teenage years as he found it difficult to let go and accept that we had our own opinions and wants that were vastly different to his. Its more equitable now but I would still say I am much closer to my mum then my dad. My ds is still quite young but I do fret about him drifting away from me as he gets older. That probably means Im going to end up like my dad and really struggle to let go and accept my dc have grown up. Thats my personal experience though. Does that ring true for anyone else?

Anyway I find her writing really beneficial. She wrote another book called 'Letter to my daughter' which I really want to get. In it she sort of gives advice to women based on the experiences she has had in her life and lessons she has learned. Kind of like Al Ghazali's to 'My Beloved Son'. When I read her stuff I always remember the hadith of the Prophet Muhammed PBUH:

'Wisdom is the lost property of the believer, let him claim it wherever he finds it.' Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2687

For me this hadith is like an encouragement to seek out and benefit from the collective wisdom of humanity, regardless of the source, knowledge is knowledge. Is that how you interpret it?

Looking forward to some more Ramadhan recipes please keep them coming. Im going to add one of my mine later. Just a quick question though. Do you prefer to cook actual meals for iftar or lots of different smaller dishes? When I lived with my parents we didnt have heavy dishes for iftar but we had lots of small lighter treats e.g. soup, samosas, pastries, bhajis, dumplings etc. I prefer meals to be a lot lighter for iftar as I tend to get full quickly so a heavy meal just wont get finished. I hope that makes sense. Reading it back it looks like a load of gibberish but I hope you can understand.

Elusive · 31/05/2014 02:22

Hi all,

I know everyone is contributing quite intellectually right now, so here i am to lower the tone... Grin

Did anyone watch 'goodness gracious me' last week! I dont know if you remember it from years ago (showing my age!) but it used to be quite funny (some sketches were anyway). I thought this recent one was quite good too, especially the last one about Delhi Mail (though some bits of it made me cringe)

Well, there you go.....just ignore my post and continue with the more useful posts! Blush Grin

sammythemummy · 31/05/2014 03:56

Assalaamu alaykum crescent I'm glad to be of help :)

If anyone else is interested, I found that hanging my daughters diet to gluten and casein free has helped her immersive lot, she's calmer, speaking more, better concentration Alhamdulillah.

lost I think you should hire a good OT for your dd in sha Allah...she may need sensory input.

sammythemummy · 31/05/2014 03:59

My recipes are standard, nothing special but I do make lemonade as it's so refreshing during the summer.

I do like making chicken wraps using cut up chicken breast.. Yum

LostHasBeenFound · 31/05/2014 09:32

Defuse I had to reply to your post! I didn't see it last week but I used to watch it occasionally. I think I was a bit young when it first came out to understand some of the humour! I do like meera syal though, I think she's brilliant.

Thanks sammy, I never even thought about OT. I looked online and they do a brilliant programme for sensory children.

I do really want to go to my gp next week, I've decided I can't carry on like this, half term has been horrendous for her, they always have. And now I'm realising it's the lack of routine. Does anyone know if I have to take her with me? I don't really want to as I don't like talking about the children with them in earshot. I'd like to just talk to the gp about her and the things she does but without her listening in!

Peaceful, that's a lovely post. I can't say I've fully experienced any of what you describe but it makes perfect sense. My mum was the one who was close to us dc in the early years, my dad was out working all hours so I don't remember him being around all that much. Although I do remember becoming a daddy's girl from the age of about 9, we used to go out at the weekend just the two of us and I'd help him in the garden. He then left when I was 12, so I'm not sure where our relationship would of gone had he stuck around. Me and my siblings then all stuck firmly to my mums side. We still speak to my dad but he moved hundreds of miles away so it's limited to birthdays and christmas mostly.

Oh yes I love a chicken wrap! And a lamp wrap. I make lamb kofta wraps with raita and salad. Yum! I normally make a main meal and then do sides of chicken or veg pakora, samosas etc. This year I won't be doing that. I'm going to make it much more simple and make my normal dishes of lasagne, shepherds pie, fish pie and that kind of thing.

crescentmoon · 31/05/2014 13:05

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sammythemummy · 31/05/2014 19:49

crescent my dd1 loved milk, yoghurts, milk chocolate. She used to ask for milk throughout the day. Alhamdulillah she took to the alternative well, she has a bit of honey in it for sweetener. I found both quite helpful, they have the same molecular structure so I think their removal has been mutually beneficial, but you do see the effects of removing milk quicker than the gluten.

The only vitamin I've given him is the one I've mentioned, it's liquid form so I just squirt it in her mouth and give her a little treat afterwards.

With the shifting from activity to activity, I would try and slowly encourage him to finish it and tidying it up before moving to the next activity. We used to have this problem as well but now she can attend for longer Alhamdulillah

sammythemummy · 31/05/2014 19:57

Sorry I forgot, we used to make her food seprrste( so GF pasta in a small pan and ours in another)

Recent I went GFCF so I make my husbands portion separate

TheDietStartsTomorrow · 31/05/2014 20:37

Salam all. Have been planning to pop in here for a while, especially since crescent's pm, but for some reason or other it just never seems to happen. I dawdle too much for my own good.

Went to a really inspiring talk today. It was a Hadith lesson on Saheeh al Bukhari and our teacher spoke about the Hadith that mentions that none will move from his/her place on the Last Day until he/she will be questioned about five things and the first two of those is related to how we spent our life and our youth. It really got me thinking about the amount of time I waste in my day.

I'm hoping to use this Ramadan as an incentive to give up my vice of watching TV dramas. I don't know why but it's one thing that I just find so hard to give up. We never have the tele on in Ramadan anyway, but outside of Ramadan I always end up watching 3-4 TV dramas a week. Not daily- but a couple of times a week I waste time by plonking myself in front of the computer and watching some rubbish drama.

I hope I can use this Ramadan to stop completely. I have enough to do in the day anyway and don't really have time to sit for 45 mins watching some meanless rendition of someone else's life. I just end up using it as a way to relax when I'm tired.

Do the rest of you lovely sisters have some vices you're also going to try giving up in Ramadan and then for good?

peacefuloptimist · 01/06/2014 10:33

Salams Diet

Oh my goodness Im the same as you. I am a bit of a tv addict and I dont even have a TV. Blush. Like you I use it to unwind after a long day/week. Once ds is asleep Im in front of the computer. I dont watch dramas though (too much concentration needed). My vice is cookery programs, I dont know why as I dont even like cooking. Masterchef, Great British Menu, Great British Bake off etc. The problem is as one series finishes another one starts off and Im back to square one again. My dm is always asking me what the point is of watching all those cookery shows if it doesnt make a difference to my cooking skills and my dsis's think Im just really sad. Its the time wasting though that I want to stop. I really want to have a tv ban during ramadhan. That's really my main vice other than overeating which the fasting will hopefully curtail anyway. Grin

What I really want to do is try to memorise more Quran though and do more ibadah e.g. prayers, charity etc. When I was in uni I managed to memorise quite a bit but since starting work and getting married I have struggled with memorising more. Its just lack of discipline really. I really want to memorise Surah Mulk this Ramadhan. Oh yeah and the first 10 verses of surah Kahf. Can never be too careful. Wink

Have any of you managed to go to taraweeh since Ramadhan moved in to the summer months. I feel really sad that its almost impossible for me to go to taraweeh this Ramadhan. My ds is really young and there is no way I could keep him up that late. I could make him sleep before hand I guess but I dont want him waking up midway through. I really miss the environment though and feel like I am missing out on a lot of hasanat by not going. I know you can pray it at home but its just not the same.

Did any of you read that thread in aibu about fasting. My first thought was its a bit early to start the ramadhan threads but it wasnt that bad. It made me laugh though how many fat/obese muslims, mumsnetters supposedly know. I wonder how fat we are talking though. I recently read that the average dress size in the UK is size 16 (yippee) so I wonder how much bigger then that we are talking. The past two ramadhans though I have found that more people have been losing weight whilst fasting (not me as I havent fasted in Ramadhan since 2011 due to pregnancy and breast feeding issues). Not that thats the point of Ramadhan.

By the way did any of you here about the Christian Sudanese woman having her sentence overturned. Alhamdulillah. I was so happy when I heard the news. If anyone should have been punished imo it was her absent muslim father not her. Sometimes I really wonder about some of these governments and their emaan. Dont they fear Allah and what will happen to them if they oppress others and punish someone unjustly. I always think of the woman in the hadith who was destined for hellfire because she tortured a cat by not feeding it or allowing it to find food for itself. Can you imagine how much worse the punishment is for abusing another human being?

Elusive · 01/06/2014 12:43

Salaam all,

diet. I need to stop watching rubbish on tv. At the moment i am hooked on so many different series' of whatever rubbish is on! Must. Stop. Now! Grin

crescent and lost , ages ago you guys posted some links for childrens books about islamic manners. Well finally, i managed to order the book that you recommended crescent (in the prophet's garden) from the website that you linked to lost (IDCI). There were some really good educational books on there which i also ordered and am now awaiting delivery. Cant wait! Smile

[peaceful] i was also really happy to find out that Sudan is releasing the woman. How they charged her for apostasy in the first place is beyond comprehension Confused. I was shocked and disgusted when i heard that she gave birth in shackles Shock in a dirty jail cell Angry

I dont know if anybody has heard about the most recent gang rape and hangings in India, the issues of child brides in Niger and another shocking 'honour' killing in Pakistan of a woman outside the court!

All of it makes my blood boil. There are so many issues around all these cases, but where is the sanctity of human life, especially the value of a woman? You dont have to go and look to the developing world for mistreatment of women, it is going on everywhere - here in UK and all over the world. The amount of abuse suffered by young girls and women in UK is also jaw dropping. I saw a news report yesterday about young girls being lured to houses so that vile men can abuse them in any which way they please! Sad

It all makes me so angry!

I am trying to follow the ramadan thread, i remember when we were young, mum used to make some samosas, pakoras etc and we would never have room for the main course! Nowadays, i prefer lovely colourful big salads with chicken wraps and also fruit salads! For suhoor, i just love those big juicy medjool dates (which are not a product of Israel). Last ramadan, 5 of those dates and a satsumas would get me through from suhoor to iftar!

Please post more recipes, i cant cook very well so havent got much to contribute. I will be making that lemonade. I love freshly made lemonade. I might add some mint for poshness too Grin

Oh,..does anybody make tabbouleh? I love the stuff and dont want to pay £4.50 for a portion. So want to try to make it at home. If anybody has a recipe, please share, otherwise i shall google! Smile

Elusive · 01/06/2014 12:51

Just tried to find the ramadan thread and its been deleted with the message about 'sock-puppeting'. What does that mean? Why has it been deleted. I was liking it because the OP was good-natured and wasnt trying to have a dig at religions which is all too often the case and was quite refreshing to see.

Why why oh why has it gone?????

TheDietStartsTomorrow · 01/06/2014 17:40

You know, I know it's not always the best strategy and can lead to ignorance and disassociation from what happening around the world, but in the run up to Ramadan, I completely switch off from reading news and following current affairs. Not because I'm not concerned, but because of the feelings they ignite within me. Anger, fustration, helplessness.... I feel I need to clear my system of everything and just focus on strengthening my bond with Allah over this month. So, erm, I'm going to just waffle on about other stuff.... Blush; I hope you all don't feel I'm rude.

The last few ramadans have been the best I've ever had. Alhamdulillah, I've been able to focus on my worship and create a good environment with the family. But the key to that has always been preparation. I have a whole system of preparing for Ramadan that would rival the preparations others do in the run up to Christmas. But, it's essential for me to help me focus.

Some of the things I do are a bit OTT, but I do it anyway. For example, my husband and I both don't work in Ramadan. Four to six weeks before Ramadan, I clean my whole house out from top to bottom. Every kitchen cupboard, every corner of the bedrooms, all the wardrobes, storerooms etc. it means I have a totally clean and organised house before Ramadan so I can think straight.

Then I fill my humongous chest freezer up. Marinated fish, chicken, pies, bakes, desserts, samosas, kebabs, pastries, all sorts. Everything is organised into freezer bags and tubs with military precision. I always encourage my DH to bring guests from the masjid for Iftar so I prepare for them too. And my menu and shopping lists are all planned in advance too.

Then we, as a family, up our routine of daily recitation, tasbeehat etc. Alhamdulillah, my two eldest DS are huffaz and the you get two are halfway through it so we have a system in place anyway. But in the run up to Ramadan, we go at it for longer and commit ourselves more.

Then we all have an additional Islamic activity too. I, for example, keep a tafseer project or a translation of an islamic text project, or some other sort of a study project to hand for those moments when I can't recite Quran of need something else to do. My DC do the same. Usually it's a pile of islamic books of biographies of Companions. Sometimes it's a project on an Islamic theme that they build up and show to their madrasah classmates afterwards.

On top of all that, smartphones, computers, Internet etc is rationed. We cut down by almost 95% in Ramadan, limiting ourselves to necessary email and contact or listening to talks if Quran only in Ramadan, so in the build up, we prepare by cutting down.

I also visit family before Ramadan. Aunts, uncles, cousins etc so we don't end up socialising in Ramadan as much and request each other for duas etc. we also take dates for everyone as a gift and to receive the reward of providing Iftar for a fasting person.

What else... oh I try to fast in Shaban too, but it's hard at the moment.

I do love Ramadan. It's always such a spiritually uplifting and immensely satisfying time of the year.

crescentmoon · 01/06/2014 18:56

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