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Philosophy/religion

Join our Philosophy forum to discuss religion and spirituality.

Welcome to muslim tea room 2.

999 replies

defuse · 30/12/2013 22:18

Peace to you all Smile

Ok, well here it is again...we have moved to room 2 now Grin

Discuss whatever aspect of islam you like my lovely sisters - this is a place for muslims and non-muslims too, to share experiences, raising kids or just having your say! Smile

The kettle is on.... We have loads of herbal teas, coffee and guava juice .... I like guava juice Grin so welcome! Smile

Brew
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crescentmoon · 06/06/2014 17:28

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RussianBlu · 06/06/2014 22:36

Out of interest, how do you manage to cook if you are out at work full time and are tired when you get home? Someone posted about making 4 types of samosa and chopping spinach and the likes. I take it you aren't working? How do other people manage to provide something decent when worn out on arriving home?

peacefuloptimist · 07/06/2014 01:39

RussianBlu this is what I am dreading as well. I only work part-time but long hours and when I get home I can barely cook one decent meal let alone an iftar worthy feast. When I used to work full time I just used to take my annual leave around Ramadhan so I was at home for most of it anyway so it worked out for me but unfortunately this year I cant.

I think the trick is in the preparation. If you start preparing your meals with all the trimmings (e.g. 4 types of samosas drools) 4-5 weeks in advance then you dont really have to do much cooking come Ramadhan. I have heard of some people getting together with family one day before Ramadhan and making hundreds of samosas to share out between them. Then all you need to do is defrost what you have pre-prepared or fry, bake, etc whatever it is that you prepared early. Its a very ingenious way round having to cook a lot during Ramadhan.

I see this advice given to pregnant women in their last trimester, to cook and freeze meals before your due date as once the baby is born the last thing your going to want to do is cook meals. I didnt do it then and as much as I am loving the idea of it I doubt I will be organised enough to do it now in preparation for Ramadhan. I am pining my hopes on a slow cooker and some frozen ready samosas and kebabs. Grin. That will have to do on the days I work but when Im off I will make the effort. Tbh since I got married Ramadhan iftars are less exciting for me. I really appreciate mum now for the effort she put in and feel sorry for the pressure she was probably under to fulfill all our expectations of a delicious iftar meal. You dont enjoy it as much when your the one responsible for producing the spread. She is a much much much better cook then me though.

Diet I am going to take your advice though about cleaning the house from top to bottom pre-Ramadhan. If I have guests I just want to concentrate on one thing - making the iftar - rather then making my house spotlessly clean before they arrive. Im planning to do it this weekend so forgive me if I dont post much in the meantime.

LostHasBeenFound · 07/06/2014 08:06

Salaam sisters

Peaceful I've also taken Diets advice and am doing a thorough clean of the house. I keep on top of my housework fairly well anyway so hopefully it won't be too big of a task. It's just the mess that I struggle with. So far I've cleaned the inside windows, washed the doors and skirtings, washed the kitchen cupboard doors and this weekend I'm pulling out all the furniture to clean behind it. I have to admit I do love cleaning. Everyone in this house is quite messy, with the exception of dd1 who has an immaculate bedroom!

Crescent I went to hobby craft yesterday and got everything I need for my calendar. They do some luxury wrapping paper which I bought three different kinds of and a coloured foam background to stick them on. I did notice they sell tubes of different sizes which is probably more hygienic and they're sturdier than toilet and kitchen rolls. I can't wait to put it all together!

Russian, I too wonder how people find the energy to cook after they've been working all day. I'm going very very simple this year and not doing any thing out of the ordinary. I want to be kind to myself Grin.

I hope you're all well and have a lovely weekend.

TheDietStartsTomorrow · 07/06/2014 15:45

peacefuloptimist, I actually found it much easier when the DC were little. Because it meant that I didn’t have a school timetable to adhere to and that if I arranged things for them to play with throughout the day and though about how to fill up their time well, I wasn’t dealing with cranky kids.

I don’t believe in having to spend a large portion of the day playing with kids to be a good parent. It’s more about spending time with them rather than having to always entertain them. I spend time with them by talking to older DC as I am doing the housework. I always cook with at least one of the DC sitting on a stool in the kitchen, talking, listening. Sometimes, it’s a half an hour of boring football talk where I just pretend to listen. I also regularly iron with the DC around me. I usually teach them something during that time or we have a discussion on something or I ask them to write something. It means I’m doing two things at once.

Before Ramadan I usually buy a new toy. Something that will keep them occupied with playing amongst themselves. Last year it was a set of new cars and a car rug- the boys can spend hours on that. This year it’s a new box of lego. A few years ago, it was some pop or tents.

Also, I find that reciting Quran with younger children around me is not too difficult. It’s easy to breastfeed or bob a child up and down in your lap whilst reciting Quran. If not, recite your tasbeehat then.

RussinaBlu that was me posting about the samosas and other prep. I do work, not full time but but not part time either. I work three mornings from 9:30-2:00 and three evenings from 4:30-7:00pm. Plus because of the nature of my work, I bring a lot of marking, planning and other managerial work home too. In addition to that I have my lesson prep which takes a few hours each day but I am blessed, in that I teach Islamic sciences and therefore I feel my time is well spent.

However, I don’t work in Ramadan. All the food prep and household prep I do is before Ramadan though whilst I am still working. So I do come home and tackle a pot of pie fillings and pastries. I make a plan of what to do each day and on the days when I’m making samosas for example, we’ll have leftovers from the night before so the workload is balanced. I wake up early and sleep early so I don’t tire myself too much and I also try to get an afternoon lie down in with the intention of a sunnah qayloolah as it helps to keep me going for the rest of the evening. I’m also a firm believer in the power of Tasbeeh Fatema. When she asked the Messenger of Allah(PBUH) for a servant to help with her household tasks, he insted gave her something better to help her with the housework and that was 33 x subhanallah, 33 x Alhamdulillah and 34 x allahuakbar. It makes all the difference to your day.

I would say that the best thing to do is not to plan anything elaborate or too taxing. But if you just plan 12 meals to freeze that can be taken out and popped into the oven, it means that you only have to cook for 2 weekdays during Ramadan plus the weekend. Even that makes a lot of difference when you are tired after a long days work. Then you can use the time after coming home to first of all take a nap, then wake up and spend a few hours reciting Quran before iftar, inshallah.

yummytummy · 07/06/2014 19:26

salaam everyone. am really hoping someone can inspire me. am recently a single parent and things horrendous at the moment. hence i havnt been eating properly and my imaan at an all time low. i just dont know how on earth i will fast this year. will be totally alone family have disowned me for separating and its just me and small dc's. there will be no one to hav sehri and iftari with esp as iftar so late past bedtime anyway. also most likely eid i will be alone. have never not fasted before apart from when pregnant but just dont think i have the physical or mental strength at all. please someone can advise me? if i collapse in day no one to take care of kids and they come first

BettyButter · 09/06/2014 20:15

Salam Sisters

I have been hiding again from my Deen, astagfirullah. I'm coming up to three years as a Muslim yet my practise and knowledge is declining rather than increasing. My belief never falters, I just find excuses and pathetic justifications for not practising, doing less than the bare minimum. I do this in all areas of my life, not just my religion, I'm a massive procrastinator. I'm excited for Ramadan as this will force me to participate.

Crescent, thank you so much for your kind pm. It has encouraged me to catch up on the thread and as always it was the tonic I needed to kickstart myself into action

Yummy I have PM'd you. I hope you are ok and some of the more knowledgeable sisters come along soon with advice.

Diet you have inspired me to write a list today of 'Ramadan prep' I also am planning to cut down on caffeine in the run up so the withdrawals shouldn't be too hard..

BettyButter · 09/06/2014 20:57

Yummy. I think first things first you need to start trying to eat a bit more, build up your strength before Ramadan starts. Try to eat small balanced meals or snacks, some fresh fruit and veg. Protein based small snacks if you can't manage full meals. Perhaps a piece of cheese or a hard boiled egg, some dates or a handful of nuts. Can you also take a multi vit? As the other sisters have said do as much prep before Ramadan starts and keep Iftar simple. Dates, milk, eggs, bread and cheese? Some fruit and veg or salad or some soup?
Make intention now to do the fast, and try to make dua to strengthen your Iman.
Sorry if I sound bossy Blush
How old are your DC? Do you have any Muslim friends nearby?
I'm sure the other sisters will be along soon enough. Stay strong Thanks

GoshAnneGorilla · 10/06/2014 01:56

Salaam alaikum,

I hope everyone is well, I've just enjoyed a lovely catch up on the thread, so many gems of wisdom.

I can't believe it is Ramadan so soon. I'm fasting a lot at the moment, as I couldn't fast last year due to pregnancy & nausea.

crescentmoon · 10/06/2014 02:02

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crescentmoon · 10/06/2014 14:26

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crescentmoon · 10/06/2014 20:31

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GoshAnneGorilla · 10/06/2014 22:22

A

MrsAtticus · 11/06/2014 19:23

Asalam u alikum sisters, I'm new here.

I wanted to get some advice, I will be exclusively breastfeeding a 3 month old this ramadan and want to try to fast. I did it with a 5 month old once but we were weaning which helped when my milk dropped off a bit during the day. Has anyone tried? I know I can take the dispensation not to fast if necessary but want to give it a good go so any advice on maintaining milk supply and energy levels would be welcome, thanks Smile

BettyButter · 12/06/2014 23:59

Salam Sisters

It's very quiet in here, maybe everyone is busy preparing for Ramadan?
Crescent, I know what you mean, hope to see you back soon, Just incase though, Ramadan Mubarak

Mrs Atticus, I have no advice I'm afraid. I chose not to fast when I was feeding. I suppose if you can get enough fluid and food into you during the eating hours and feed regularly to keep up the supply and demand it could be ok. Hopefully others will be along with their experiences soon

GoshAnneGorilla · 13/06/2014 12:20

Sorry for the odd post, my phone was playing up.

Salaam, Mrs Atticus, I do know someone who did this, their solution was to drinks bottles and bottles of water during the non fasting period. Not sure how helpful this is.

peacefuloptimist · 13/06/2014 21:32

Salamalaykum all

Welcome Mrs Atticus and BettyButter. Gosh nice to see you too. Sorry for going a bit awol on the thread. I have been going through a weird phase lately where I stay off mumsnet for a while then get stuck in for a bit of time then flit off again. I shouldnt really be here as I have so much to do but its a bit of a guilty pleasure.

Mrs Atticus you are a stronger woman then me. I desperately want to take the dispensation not to fast but am going to try a few days otherwise my dm and dh will label me a weakling. My mum keeps telling me stories about how she fasted throughout her pregnancies, my aunt fasted the summers in UK when she was 8 months pregnant, no one back home doesnt fast because of breastfeeding and pregnancy. I just say well that's because they didnt know they dont have to. Oh did I forget to mention Im expecting. Grin about halfway through now. Alhamdulillah. Duas will be much appreciated and if anyone wants me to make dua for them please let me know.

Yummy how are you my sister? Im so sorry to hear about your difficulties. Please drop down and see me when you can or I will visit you. Im driving now so can visit you if you need company. We must arrange an iftar get together one weekend when your free. I cant really give you better advice then what others have told you before me but I would just remind you that good deeds increase imaan so if you are having problems now, not fasting in Ramadhan is going to make that even worse. At the same time you have to be aware of your own limitations. If you feel faint or sick then break your fast if you need to. As for your family it might be a rahma for you to be away from them especially if they are going to make you feel worse. Concentrate on yourself and the kids. Do iftar your way. Just wanted to ask as well whether you have anyone to speak to your parents on your behalf. I mean cutting off ties of kinship (especially with your child) is not something small. Maybe you could get someone they respect on side to speak to them. However if your whole community is quite negative and poisonous then I would just avoid them all.

I was trying to think of something we could do in the tearoom as sort of a shared goal for Ramadhan and I thought why dont we try to read through the whole quran this ramadhan. We could read it in either English or Arabic but we could kind of help eachother by egging eachother on to read a juz a day. I have done it before so know it can be done. We could also share any gems that we read during the month. Subhanallah whenever i read the Quran through I always pick up on different, beautiful verses and I tell myself to write them down but there are so many and invariably I forget them till I read them again. Anyway its just an idea. Does anyone know how many days we have left. I am too scared to look. I still have so much to do. Eek!

BettyButter · 13/06/2014 22:23

Congrats Peaceful! I took the dispensation during PG and BF, I did worry that DH's family maybe judged me. But you have to make choices you can live with..

For those that have completed the whole Quran during Ramadan, how do you break it down, do you read a bit after each prayer, or a whole juz in one go, do you get ahead if you have time. I always get behind then feel too far behind to catch up.
Also do you just live with getting no sleep for a month, I just can't imagine staying up late enough to eat/drink enough the waking for suhoor and then waking with the baby for the day! (Can you tell it's my first fast since becoming pregnant)
I am excited for Ramadan though in that I need the boost to start fully practising again.
I have lots more I need to figure out so may be back with more questions. Apologies I don't contribute in terms of islamic advice. I don't feel confident enough in my knowledge and sources to quote and provide links etc. Inshaallah I'll get there and Mashaallah at the rest if you!!

peacefuloptimist · 14/06/2014 10:20

Thanks Betty. I think I might try and fast the first two days and see how it goes or might fast every couple of days or so. It is very strange not fasting through Ramadhan. The past two years I have felt a bit weird eating whilst everyone else fasts in my family but I do agree that the dispensation is there for a reason and it should be up to individuals to make those choices.

Anyway about reading the Quran through during Ramadhan i have to aim to read a juz a day to achieve it. Last year I split it up between the 5 daily prayers and would read something like 3-4 pages just before or after salah. I think its easier if your reading it in English but harder if your doing it in Arabic and are not a fluent reader. You know when I first became practicing I used to always read the Quran in English (daily) and I found that really helped me with my emaan to read at least 10 ayahs a day and think and reflect on them. Over the past couple of years though I have been reading it more in Arabic and though I feel great that I have managed to achieve that goal at the same time I feel like there is a conflict within me about reading for understanding (i.e. in English) or reading it in its original language despite not understanding. Every year I tell myself I will do both and read it in English and Arabic during Ramadhan but always end up just reading it in Arabic. Does anyone else have this experience and what is your preference to read it in English or Arabic? Anyway I could just solve my problems completely by learning to speak Arabic as well.

You know I heard this funny talk once by I think Nouman Ali Khan (or could be someone else) who said Muslims are the most adept people in the world at reading fluently with no understanding. It made me laugh at the time but it did bring up a really good point. Its always emphasised to learn to read Arabic so you can read the Quran even if its not your native language and when you finish it in Arabic you get your party, celebration whatever. But its not equally emphasised to learn to understand what your actually reading. I think this is the root cause of many of the problems in the muslim world with people behaving in a way that goes against the Quran's teachings with regards to how you should treat others. In the past muslim children were taught to read arabic when they were young and once they could read they were taught to understand Arabic so they could actually comprehend the teachings of the Quran. So you had people fluent in Arabic across the muslim world who could read the quran and understand it for themselves. However when this was interrupted due to the introduction of the Western Education system through colonialism you get people who are ignorant of the teachings of the Quran and who are dependent on others interpreting it for them.

fuzzywuzzy · 14/06/2014 20:41

With regards breastfeeding or not feeling well, I'd play it by ear, if you dont feel up to fasting then really don't do it, you have a responsibility to maintain your health, nobody's worshipping when they've driven themselves to the ground.

I'm going to start deep cleaning my house in bits in prep for Ramadan inshallah.

I don't do any special foods for Ramadan, but I do try and dress up the table a bit by laying out platters of fruit and we make a rose milk drink with a scoop of the fattiest clotted cream ice cream I can get my hands on. I find it very cooling and it prevents heartburn which I've begun to get (mildly).

Inshallah the fasts shouldnt be too bad, I've been fasting mondays and thursday (as and when I can), and it really hasnt been too bad alhmudulillah.

I do try and complete at least one recitation of the quran durign ramadan, I pray a juz after each salat (one before Fajr), and that's one of the best things about the long summer fasts I get time to pray properly alhumdulillah.
During the winter ramadans I break fast at work and miss every single salat but Fajr and have no time to recite the Quran, for me it feels like I'm just foregoing eating and thats it.

Alhumdulillah for the summer ramadans.

MrsAtticus · 14/06/2014 21:43

Thanks for the advice re fasting and breastfeeding. I have one of those husbands who claims his mum and sisters fast throughout pregnancy and bfing, though I have pointed out that due to the latitude of his home country they are not subject to 19 hour fasts! I'll see how it goes inshAllah.
As for completing a reading of Quran...I so wish I could, last year I made the intention to read it in both Arabic and English but sadly did not get far in either. Doesn't help that I read Arabic veeery slowly. This year I've chosen 4 surahs (not from juz Amma!) to read in Arabic, English and also some tafsir, which I'm hoping is a more realistic aim for me.
Is lovely to hear from those who are planning on completing a reading, helps me remember what I should be aiming for!

MrsAtticus · 14/06/2014 21:47

peaceful when I first read the Quran in English I kept writing verses down which I loved, eventually I stopped as there were so many I thought I would end up rewriting the whole thing!

MrsAtticus · 15/06/2014 08:19

fuzzywuzzy could you post recipe for rose milk drink? Sounds yummy.

fuzzywuzzy · 15/06/2014 12:13

it's very simple,

Milk
Rose syrup
Scoop of the fattiest clotted cream vanilla ice cream you can find.

Mix the rose syrup in the milk till milk turns pink (adjust syrup according to taste) add a scoop of ice cream a few minutes before iftar time otherwise it will melt.

orangeflowerwater · 15/06/2014 14:54

Asalamaliakum ladies please can I join your thread too. I am a revert sister of 5yrs and this year will be my second time fasting a ramadhan inshallah after having babies/pregnancies. I could use a bit of support and motivation for fasting from other sisters particularly if anyone has tiny kids. I am excited at the prospect of Ramadhan and also a little overwhelmed, hoping to read some Quran and make a lot of dua during the month inshallah.