Islam - What do you think?

[ChaCha]

Hello everybody,

I've been posting on MN for years and have met some lovely people on here. I am a practising Muslim, have been for around 6 years and chose this way of life for myself after much soul searching.
I recently met up with some ladies from my PN group here and not an eyelid was batted about my headscarf or the obvious fact that I am a Muslim. We have been chatting online for a year and a half and it has never been an issue.
It shows me that we can live in a tolerant society and that our own beliefs do not need to be forced upon others. I have found the inner peace that I was looking for for so long and this has prompted meto ask the following:

1. What makes you happy/content in life? What/Who do you turn to when you've had a really bad day? Do you often think about death and how does it effect your day to day life?

2. What comes into mind when you see a woman wearing a headscarf and how do you view Islam?

My thoughts for the day. Thank you. Off to change nappy x

Nikki76, could I ask - do you wear colourful Hijab or the darker, more sombre sort of colourings and styles? I have some Muslim aquaintance who think that the coloured Jilbab and Hijab kind of go against the spirit of it. I'm not really very well versed in the whole thing, tbh. I've just come out of a part of the Christian religion that encouraged head-covering, though.

Well, I'm very pale so if I went out in shocking pink or something, I'd scare small kids! ha ha!! I tend to wear cream/white/pastels....have only just started though so haven't really found my feet with what I prefer iyswim....I like to co-ordinate though...can't stand patterned hejabs with patterned clothes etc!

Some people do think that bright colours make you look more attractive and so prefer not to wear them, but I personally don't see a problem with it. I have more of an issue of people wearing sombre colours but TONS of slap on their face!!! And I'm not jealous because I haven't got long eyelashes...honest!

Nuns in my religion usually have the sombre colours so you're not showing off expensive fabrics etc

They're interesting issues. There are various ways to make yourself invisible to men in the UK. One is to be a woman with grey hair over 50. Another is to be obese. Another can just be to wear shapless dungarees, flat shoes etc. Or not go out or cover depending on your religion. My daughter had a school friend who got more religious in the sixth form and covered up more (she was Jewish).

Perhaps we should all borrow nun's clothing or Muslim equivalent for a day just to see how it feels compared to being out in high heels etc.

Its not just about covering from men though...the whole idea is that some women are really beautiful, others are not so and by covering it offers some form of equality amongst women and stops women feeling bad about themselves - look how awful some women feel who have no hair due to cancer or alopecia etc...

Ok you can (and I'm sure you will! ) argue that even with women who are covered, there are still fashion contests going on and I would agree with that, but in its essence, its all about taking people on their merits and not asthetics (sp!)

So..why don't men cover up then?

Yes but you virtually always tell whether the clothes are stretched over 16 stone or a size 8 even in the most covering of Burkha I think...

Yes, men are told to cover up in the Koran. I think it's from the waist down to the knees but I might be wrong. Christians cover up too in many branches. Our local Brethern have the girls always in fairly long skirts and a head scarf - they look gorgeous, like something off Little House on the Prairie and like the Sikhs never allowed to cut their hair. Not so much in main stream Catholicism although fairly dire edicts when the twins made their first communion to ensure the girls all had their arms covered.

nikki, a favourite look among Turkish women where I am, is a patterned silk scarf, drab or black tailored 3/4 length coat and trousers. Or long tailored coat and long skirt. Either is very elegant.

Yes, they favour that look in Syria too - although they wear more plain headscarves.

Moondog - men do have to cover in Islam as well - no tight t-shirts and everything from the navel to below the knee has to be covered...a beard, although not compulsory, is recommended but DH doesn't have one - I need to lipread him - its a sod lipreading bearded men!

And just to be clear not all Muslim women do cover. My daily housekeeper who was originally from Morocco is a very good Muslim and wouldn't cover her head. Lots of good Muslims in Turkey don't think it's necessary either. In fact in bits of North Africa they think the old fashioned Saudis etc are a bit of a joke with misogynistic conservative interpretations about dress.

Different things for different people

I don't cover all the time...yet!

god, yes, I meant the turkish girls who arent wearing tight tailored skirts and high heels.
some north african women cover up as well for traditional rather than islamic reasons.

Yes, I know. It's fine.

You see I can never work out if it's really women's liberation at its best or a male device to keep women down. That's the interesting issue. You can hardly enjoy cycling and can barely see some of what's ahead in some clothing and I remember studying all about the huge fight Victorian women had to get the right to wear trousers, cycle, be free of corsets, dress in a way that enabled them to lead a normal life. It was a massive fight here hard won and hugely increased their ability to become doctors, lawyers etc and clothing was a very big part of that. Constricting clothing does have a huge impact. I have concerns about it but I can see that covering up stops men staring but couldn't you cover up in a sexless man's suit and shoes in that case or the Mao suit for men and women Communist china went in for which was practical and completely sexless and fair to the sexes?

I find it liberating myself....I've never had more uncomfortable evenings as those when I was squeezed into a wonder bra and party shoes in my clubbing days!! A long time ago!

There is a happy medium - linen trousers with cotton shirts are fine and very easy to move around in...but as I said, up to the individual...

you see headscarf women cycling here in Germany.
A headscarf & modest normal outfit doesnt restrict you from leading an active life. Long coat type things get a bit more restrictive of course.

Felt terribly sorry for that Iranian gymnast, who had to compete in the rifle shooting in teh olympics, because it was the only sport she could get round the clothing restrictions for.

That's true. Nothing as impeding of my movement as me in high heels. In feminist terms it's a bit like Chinese foot binding and tight skirt affects your ability to walk etc... I know all that. Interesting stuff.

tbh, I think a lot of women these days may say they are liberated but are they? Feeling need to shave, dye, pluck, diet, have surgery etc for men? My Middle Eastern relatives are very content with their bodies and their marriages, so....makes you think!

its the old freedom from, vs freedom to question.
But I agree with you in many ways nikki, just I didnt reach this path through Islam.

do you retain the western view of religion as an individual thing, and and does that ever put you in conflict with your religion?

if thats not too personal a question

Well, I do try to educate people about Islam if I can but at the end of the day, my outlook is ok, I'll tell people what they want to know (I never push it as that isn't Islamic) but if they don't like it, have another relgion or no belief - then that's fine...life is too short to aruge with other people over it! None of my family are Muslim but my approach to it works for them....

One of my close friends is a total feminist but we get along great because I respect her views, she respects mine and she even came to a talk with me given by Yvonne Ridley a while ago - I think its great we can do that

Isn't Islam, like Christianity, an evangelical faith?

What you mean like from a preaching point of view??

Blimey, Yvonne Ridley is right scary. She'd prolly be quite happy I said that, too, lol. Terrified of her, I am.

I may be wrong, but I thought Islam actively encourages people to convert.

It does, but there is no compulsion in Islam...you can tell people about it, gently (and I mean gently!) point out that maybe this way of doing this should be considered but really, you can't push it....there are others who would disagree with me but I've found that by being quite mellow with it but open to talking, you get a lot more interest out of it! I can't stand the preachy lot! They can give Muslims a bad name imo!

Yvonne was great actually! Really knows her own mind - fab talk

Islamic 'evangelism' is called Dawah, isn't it?