Islam - What do you think?

[ChaCha]

Hello everybody,

I've been posting on MN for years and have met some lovely people on here. I am a practising Muslim, have been for around 6 years and chose this way of life for myself after much soul searching.
I recently met up with some ladies from my PN group here and not an eyelid was batted about my headscarf or the obvious fact that I am a Muslim. We have been chatting online for a year and a half and it has never been an issue.
It shows me that we can live in a tolerant society and that our own beliefs do not need to be forced upon others. I have found the inner peace that I was looking for for so long and this has prompted meto ask the following:

1. What makes you happy/content in life? What/Who do you turn to when you've had a really bad day? Do you often think about death and how does it effect your day to day life?

2. What comes into mind when you see a woman wearing a headscarf and how do you view Islam?

My thoughts for the day. Thank you. Off to change nappy x

I know what you mean about envying the Eastern culture: e.g. family is more important, you're surrounded by people all the time, people have time for each other, old people aren't abandoned, it's a much more 'human' approach, people are pressured to behave well by their family and community rather than just saying 'sod you I'm going to be selfish' etc. The cult of the individual is quite recent and will probably not stand the test of time.

It would be interesting to live in both worlds and then compare...

Of course there's the flip side to this. i.e. no real option for women OTHER than to be married and have children. The pressure of family. The intolerance of other (e.g. homosexual) lifestyles. The lack of privacy etc.

I do agree with you though, the cult of the individual is possibly not the best model. It makes life very difficult for teachers

I'm sure there's a balanced medium, e.g. everyone gets to be who they want, but also having a loving and close network of family and friends who support each other with high moral values.

Sigh!

spidey, big apology to you . it was speedymama who wrote the 1233 post of tuesday, adn i read it as spidermama.
need my eyes testing.

Bluejelly, but don't we do that on MN?

there's an interesting article in The Times magazine today about Western women converting to Islam, not sure if it would be online

Also in The Economist this week, there is an article which puts forward the idea that, if more women were allowed to be involved in Islam with regard to leading prayers and running Mosque etc then maybe extremists/extremism(sp?) might be moderated.

I thought this was a very interesting proposition.

Hey all, Salam (peace in arabic),

I'm not sure if any one provided the previously asked for quotation about where in the Quran it tells men to be respectful of women. It is much more detailed in the hadith but in the Quran it states "Tell the believing men to lower their gaze..that is purer for them. Verily Allah is aware of what they do." (24:30) This is referring to staring at women etc that they are not married to or related to basically telling them not to leer at women on the street. And theres lots more similar verses instructing men to treat women with respect and contrary to popular belief, women actually have it rather easy in a lot of ways for e.g Although woman are free to work..the money earned is hers to do as she pleases and she has no obligation to share with bills etc unless ofcourse she chooses to, whereas the husband has to work and spend on his family and if he buys something for himself he has to buy it for her too.
Also women were given right to inheritance with Islam 1400 yrs which has come a few decades ago here so thats just a bit of info thought might help the discussion!
I myself started wearing the hijab(scarf and abaya) 3 years ago and have always been fashion crazy like the girl from legally blond lol but not so much pink.. with everything matching down to bag n shoes even with my baby so only thing thats changed is that now I wear the fashionable clothes underneath but also have matching abayas(outer garm) and scarf/shawl. And honestly I find it a relief not to be judged on appearance and whistled at whilst walking passed a building site or by hormonal teenagers(i am 25 but smetimes pass for 16!! and as it's harder to judge my appearance what I say is more important then what I look like..and thats just my personal experience!

yes but how do you know thare arnt still men out there who still find you attractive, some beautiful women with the scarf, who still get leered at.This girl i know got heckled at by an old man...he saw her and go's mashallah, mashallah, she was wearing niqab and a julba...

you are still judged by appearance...im not having a go. im muslim myself like you look very young for age. i am 28, this is what worries me about people who cover , its the assumtion that you are immediatley redeemed when you cover,nd everyone else is wrong.

Interesting this thread ahs made a return

We now have veiled lady living in the village. My first thought when I saw her? I love that scarf, its got sequins and beads and embroidery and....

DH: I thought those things were supposed to stop covetousness?

Hmm, he ahs a point

Pattsy that's a very interestingt hought yes, thank you for that.

UmmMusa (sp? sorry). Glad you find your attire so liberating, I think having the choice to wear / believe what you wish IS liberating and should be celebrated (whatever those choices are. I'm going to put a covenant that no-one should be hurt by that faith not because if issues with Islam but because this is MN and someone is bound otherwise to post 'What Peachy, you think believing its OK to toture Grannies (or whatever) is OK'- and clearly I do not.

The more I learn the more I realise how significant in Arabic culture the difference between Islam (in the Qur'anic sense) and culture is.

Hi Peachy How are you? I was surprised to find this old thread reappear again too, [waves back]. I had to laugh at the mention of the woman in the village as DH and I have a joke. DH is from a village in S.Wales and so everytime I visit we always chime in unison 'I'm the only Muslim in the village' in strong Welsh Dafydd accent.....well, we think it's funny!!

Also find what your DH said interesting.

Umm, not sure where you got your info about women only having the right to inherit for a few decades from. Women have been inheriting since the Middle Ages, if not longer. However, until the Married Women's Property Act of the late 19th century, anything you owned automatically became your husband's property on married (as did you, and your children). So MWPA was major reform that recognised married women as people with a legal identity of their own for the first time.

'marriage' not 'married', obv.

hi, just came across this thread accidently. Had such a bad day actually dont know what i searched for but hey. I wanted to comment how nice it is to see people give opinions, learn from each other in such a kind and respectful manner.

In answer to the questions

1. My kids, dh, my family and just generally being alive and well make me very content. I turn to god and dh when having a bad day. Usually dh first cause i usually get an answer directly, god likes to think whats best for me before replying! I do think about death most days, especially since ive recently lost my dads mum (ma to me). It doesnt really affect my life, apart from my ds asking who will look after him when we die, which upsets me a little , as he is four we have both told him we are not due to die for a very very very long time and that we are all going together.

1. Seeing a woman in hijab makes me smile and i allways say salaam, i feel like we are all in a club and you have a sister/ friend wherever you are. Islam has had a lot of bad press recently and as a practising muslim this saddens me a great deal.

...every 40 days is not most people's menstrual cycle....
I liked this bit on the link.... written by a man presumably.

"As far as feeling uncomfortable after such shaving is concerned, I assure you, it is only due to a lack of regularity in such shaving. If you shave the hair more regularly, you shall find that the situation would be reversed and you would start feeling uncomfortable if you do not remove your hair for sometime."

He should be saying get waxed. I'm sure that's consistent.

Hello!

I'm a convert to Islam....just recently started to wear my hejab...had some very positive experiences with it so far - met Maewest (mnetter) in RL and she was positive about it as well so that was great!

What makes a western woman convert to Islam??? Interesting question....I read about Islam and thought about it for ages, lots of different questions, debates with hubby etc (sometimes heated!!) and then one day I was sat at my desk in work and realised I didn't want to die without being a Muslim....it just hit me and so I did the Sha'hada (the declaration of the faith) there and then under my breath...the peace I felt was soooo amazing!!

People think that Muslim women are opressed or our husbands have made us convert - not so. I feel more freedom as a Muslim than I did before and I love how my status as a mother is revered in Islam...really makes me want to do the best I can for DS as I realise he is such a blessing from God and I'm honoured that God has trusted me with this magical little gift and its my duty to bring him up in the best way I can as thanks to God for his blessing....

Thats my two pence worth! Really happy to answer any questions about Islam if anyone has any!

What interets me is the difference between different muslims. I was with a very sernior professional lady from Morocco a few months ago who refused to close a deal in Saudi because of dress restrictions so they moved the venue to a country that wasn't against her principles. I am sure she was a very good Muslim and didn't need to be covered, had a very itneresting job and children and then you get other Muslims that don't work outside the home and cover up.

How do you work out which you fall into and how do you decide what is the religion and what is just backwards culture and nothing much to do with the religion at all? Or is it a Sunni Shia difference?

The Sunni/Shia difference is to do with the Prophet Mohammed (Peace be upon Him)...at is very basics, Sunni Muslims (I'm one) don't believe in following Islamic leaders just because they were related to the Prophet, whereas Shia's do...that is a very basic distinction though and there is a lot more to it than that.

There are different sects within Sunni Islam that people adhere to - for example, one scholar would say that if you have washe for prayer (Wudu) and you bleed, you have broken your wudu, whereas another scholar would say you only break wudu if the blood trickles down and a whole load of other stuff, which I'm not really informed about and so wouldn't like to speculate about it.

As a Muslim, you read and follow both the Koran AND the Sunnah (Sunnah is the life of the Prophet) you can't follow one without the other so whereas something may not be mentioned in detail in the Koran, but is in the Sunnah or vice versa, so you make an informed decision about it.....

I view the whole men don't do any housework issue as very cultural and not Islamic (the Prophet did housework and mended his own socks!)...its so easy to confuse Islam with culture but they are very distinct but it takes time and study to work that out.....

xenia - remember Islam is an Arab religion, and was in its day, the biggest feminist movement of the Arab world. Women were treated no better than cattle before Islam gave them some rights.
North Africa is a completely different culture - they had female elected leaders before Islam. Their traditions are completely different - as you saw.

Thank you. hy the increase in headscarf wearing in the UK? A lot of Muslim mothers my age (40s) who never covered themselves are not that keen that their daughters do - they see it as the old fashioned village Saudi thing rather than being a religious requirement.

If Islam like I think Christianity was trying to be 2000 years ago was in some ways trying to protect and give equal rights to women and men then anything that hinders a woman like a Victorian woman's hobble skirt or ban on wearing trousers or Chinese woman with bound feet etc which stops the jumping and skipping and keeping fit etc surely isn't something God would want. It's not even settled how much really needs to be covered anyway. In other words in times 2000 years ago when women didn't have much legal protection against violent men etc they might indeed need to be locked away, only let out with an accompanying man and kept covered up but today the same dangerous don't exist which is why so many Muslim women don't cover up yet some do. I can't understand anyone thinking religiously they needed to or enjoying the heat and lack of physical movement.

Pity so many of the UK Muslims then are going after the old fashioned conservative countryside backward non religiously necessary parts of Islam then in some cases to make a pointless political statement that makes their mothers cringe....

I've just started to wear my hejab (I'm a convert to Islam)...I don't wear it all the time as for me, its a gradual approach but as to why the increase...well, I can't speak for other Muslims but for myself, we live in a society totally obsessed with image...more and more people suffering with eating disorders, plastic surgery on the increase etc and I personally can see the detriment that having pretty much all on show is having to women....self confidence, feeling low if not conforming to a certain image (I'm guilty of that myself - don't like my figure post DS!) and I can see the wisdom of covering up.....when I'm covered, I like the fact that only DH knows what's underneath and that men can take me on my merits - not just because I have blonde hair (which I do have by the way)...its part of our religion that we have to cover up - like not drinking or eating Pork. I don't question it and am trying my best every day to implement it, not easy given the politcal climate..I get nervous sometimes wearing hejab...do worry I may get grief because of it but at the end of the day, I beleive in God and his word...simple as that really

Anyway, covering up is far more comfortable than tottering down street in 6 inch heels!