Christians, please, especially, help

[MrsFrederickWentworth]

My DM, v d, is frail in mind, body and spirit.

She is terrified of death and of extinction.

A simple statement about Jesus or God or love or heaven doesn't do it for her and who can say she is wrong. She has been a practising Christian all her life but it isn't a consolation now.

We have enlisted the professionals but we, her family, need to help too.

Can you help? How can we comfort her?

It says in the church handout this week:

God's word claims to have a life of its own with power to sustain, guide, equip, bring revelation

A life of its own with power...

She may not respond (at the time?) when she hears scripture but it would at least create a hook for God to do his work iyswim. Can you get her a bible CD? She can just play it and listen - even if she isn't listening it will be doing a work in her imo.

imo your (and our, and others') prayers aren't going nowhere. There is power in prayer. You may not see the results this minute but something is definitely happening. Something is being prepared. You could look at it that this block has gained power and strength over all her life - it could take a while to work on that block. yy God can do it in a flash but ime he tends to want to take us with him, to do a work together.

Springy, thank you for those ideas. I will take a cd player up and some bible cds and some of evensong and see if the carers can put them on, also the radio on Sundays and songs of praise.

She has always sung, really beautifully. In choirs all her life. Perhaps that is a way in.

She said to the NSM " bit there is do little time", to which the response was, " there is all the time in the world".

You are all so comforting and helpful. I am brimming as I type on my phone. I pray for all who are desperate and in despair and those who support them.

So sorry to hear of what you and your DM are going through MrsFred, I was reading your thread and remembered a little card I once bought, about the size of a playing card. Have googled it and found this:

twicsy.com/i/e5DFRb

The quote is from Isaiah: I will not forget you, I have held you in the palm of my hand. I always find it incredibly comforting.

Maybe if your DM could have something like this nearby to remind her it would reassure her a little?

Jesus said " are not 2 sparrows sold for a farthing yet God knows if one should fall and even the hairs of our head are numbered, if your mother has believed all her life she knows it is not about what she has done but what Christ has done it is a gift of love there is nothing any of us can do to earn the love of God he gave it freely and we can depend on it,

i recommend just reading the bible to her or hymns and perhaps not always engaging in questions to which there is no knowing the answer there is an answer but only God knows everything not us

also the metrical version of the psalms are wonderful I will pray that God gives her the assurance that he feels she needs/ lacks at present

Sarah thank you.

Although she has always been a Christian and her faith has been important, this is her dark night of the soul.

How do we get through to her that we love her and build on that ?

God loves her and we love her and that's the way it should be, in the children's song.

I think if we can convince her we love her the rest might follow.

But I live 200 miles away with other duties as well, and DSis lives 1000 miles away.. we do what we can but she wouldn't live with us when she could and now she us too frail to move.

hi

as she has been a christian for so long, it is hard for both you and her;but for some christians death is not easy and I do not mean not easy physically because of pain but spiritually; the devil does not ease off because someone is nearing the end of their life ( C S Lewis describes this well in screwtape letters) and it is a temptation to make her think that at the end God will abandon her and that she is not secure,

all you can really do is remind her of God's faithfulness that right from Adam and Eve when he promised he would send a saviour he has made a covenant with us that can not be broken and all of his promises apply to all of us who believe. Fortunately our faith does not depend on my, your or your mothers feelings but on the facts of what the saviour has achieved for us

so whether this dark time passes or not before her death; her place in the book of life and heaven is secure because nothing written in there is ever erased and God promised when we were in deep waters he would be with us even in the valley of the shadow of death; not that they would not be scary lonely places or paths but that he will stay even when we feel our feet are slipping even in deep mud Psalm 40;2

I think as you mention the sense of abandonment as a child is coming back; as she has long term memory not short term maybe you could help by going to some of the early christian things she has which are in her long term memory her confirmation maybe etc would comfort her as she is reminded of when she felt happy as a christian; a minister vicar she valued when younger; hymns she sang when younger

my sister was a nursing manager at a christian retirement home and says that in the elderly where there is memory loss and maybe some dementia it is important to use basic language as they may now find references to such word pictures as the lamb of god confusing and it is best to just say Jesus / God all the time not any titles like good shepherd etc (please ignore if not applicable)

the distance is difficult but prayer knows no boundaries

Your sister's advice will I fear become necessary soon.. thank you.

Good idea to go back to those early years.

Hello there. Sorry to hear you are all going through this.

Something that might help is if you can visualise Jesus being near her, holding her hand or something else comforting.

Or imagine Jesus just sitting casually in a chair near her, as a friend would, and ask Him 'face-to-face' as it were, to reach out to her in whatever way is best, to let her know that He is there, that He loves her and understands her pain and distress.

I also find the imagery of light very powerful, so I sometimes imagine Him holding a person's heart in His hands, pouring light into it, melting away all the hardness and fear.

God is all powerful, so can find her no matter where she is.

Hope things are going well for you OP (all things considered) Some lovely ideas for you here. Can't think of anything to add right now but wanted to say this is such a lovely thread to read albeit sad circumstances for you. God bless. x

Thank you all.

Have been to see her for an hour today as was only about 40 miles away. She was in hospital again last weekend, rushed in. I've now been up there 4 timed in the last 5 weeks.

She seems on the one hand a tiny bit better, from time to time can recognise that we are doing our best for her, but equally quite often tells people her Dds are trying to have her shut up so they can live in her house. This is Obv a deep seated fear that nothing can get rid of. She also no longer is clear who is who the whole time, the gears are slipping.

And every day between 10 and 1, 4 to 7, she is in despair, tears rolling down her face, writing in her diary about her despair.

We have the clergy coming in regularly. I have given her a cross from.Bethlehem to hold, a Lord's prayer bracelet and ring,little laminated cards with eg let go and let God, all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.

But oh dear. The drs are thinking about medication but have prescribed things that might cause hallucinations. She is miserable and making everyone else's life miserable too, esp DSis..

And in her periods of unhappiness, it is despair. I cam see that the clergy may convincr her that God loves her. But she still needs convincing that we live her. And that death is just not to be feared but the laying down of a burden.

The doctors say she should get happier as her mind goes. I pray that will happen, not that she falls into.religious mania and worries about death and hell.

Please keep cherishing her, she needs your holding her up.to.the light..losing het eyesight and light is awful.and memory worse..

Sorry for long post.