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Original poster

Does God withhold blessings from Christians who are living in disobedience?

479 replies

Jewcy · 03/05/2013 18:00

I am a Christian but my husband is not. I am desperate to be a better person in God's eyes but can not escape the instruction in 2 Corinth ch 6 re being unequally yoked to non-believers. I am nearly 42 and desperately trying to start a family (I mc'd last year). We are due to fly to the Czech Republic in June for donor egg IVF but I can't help worrying that God will not bless me with a child whilst I continue to willfully live a disobedient life. I entered into a relationship with my husband knowing that it is not God's will for me to be with a non-Christian. Am I to be forever outside of God's will? My prayer life has become almost non-existent as I don't feel I can appeal to the Lord for his blessings re a baby and yet it is all I can think about.

I guess the real problem here is that my obsession with starting a family has superceded my devotion and surrender to God's will. Please help me Sad

OP posts:
PedroYoniLikesCrisps · 05/05/2013 08:59

Pedro, seeing as you asked

Actually I didn't ask. I made a statement that his life before now must have been a bit crap. Apparently I was right. But thanks for the lovely story nonetheless.

Spero · 05/05/2013 09:20

Just out of interest - how do Christians put for eg Leviticus 'in context' ?

Seems quite unambiguous to me and inconsistent with idea of god as love.

It is no mystery to me why the op sees god on terms of punishment when there is so much in the Bible that states very clearly how angry he is and what kind of hideous punishments will attend infractions of various dietary laws or wearing two different fabrics etc.

If the Old Testament is simply obsolete and contrary to Christs teaching,is there anywhere in the New Testament where he explicitly says this?

I asked this question on an Alpha course, and answer came there none.

Original poster
Jewcy · 05/05/2013 09:25

Pedro, I am astonished at your relentless shrugging and goading. I've seen you all over mumsnet and I'm sure you find your insouciance charming. I, however, see veiled bitterness wherever you appear.

Actually I didn't ask. I made a statement that his life before now must have been a bit crap. Apparently I was right. But thanks for the lovely story nonetheless.

That 'lovely story' wasn't the half of it. But, yes, maybe DH is simply very easily pleased being married to me after a life that was 'a bit crap'. What a horrid, horrid woman.

To the rest of you kind enough to have posted since last night, I will return, but I'm getting ready to go to church.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jewcy · 05/05/2013 09:27

Read my lips: I do not believe God punishes His children. My OP clearly asks about the withholding of blessings.

Must dash..

OP posts:
dogsandcats · 05/05/2013 09:47

Spero.
I think I remember correctly that you have a child?
Would your child say that you love him or her all the time?

daftdame · 05/05/2013 10:06

Spero in the Old Testament there was the old covenant, God's people were trying to live righteously by following the law. If they managed it they were blessed, if not they were cursed. They also gave offerings and sacrifices in order to receive God's blessings. Since the fall, where humans ate of the tree of knowledge of good and evil they showed their unwillingness to take God's word in faith.

I think it took up until Christ for them to be ready to accept they couldn't be righteous in their own strength, ie they couldn't follow all the rules without being in full communion with God, through Christ.

NicholasTeakozy · 05/05/2013 10:18

Doesn't anybody find it strange that we humans have been knocking about this planet for around 100000 years yet it's only in the last 6 or 7 thousand that the god of the Abrahamic faiths has made his presence known. Hmm And why send his book down to a bunch of illiterate desert dwelling tribesmen in the Middle East instead of somewhere like China where there were millions of people who could read?

Threads like this remind me why I agree with Hitchens when he (should that be He?) asserted 'Religion Poisons Everything', because it's true. To live your life according to the tenets of a book written in the Stone Age by many authors, and whose translation is still being argued over is, to me, ridiculous.

dogsandcats · 05/05/2013 10:51

Ah Nicholas. It depends on your pov as to how long humans have been on the planet.
A lot of Chistians, as a far as I know, think it has only been the 6 or 7 thousand years that you talk about.

Will maybe answer the last part later.

IsItMeOr · 05/05/2013 11:09

dogsandcats I know your question was directed at Spero not me, but as a humanist, I try very hard to help DS know that I love him all the time, even when I'm disappointed in his behaviour.

daftdame · 05/05/2013 12:21

NicholasTeacozy -works for me...the Bible I mean.

PedroYoniLikesCrisps · 05/05/2013 12:23

I've seen you all over mumsnet and I'm sure you find your insouciance charming. I, however, see veiled bitterness wherever you appear.

I'm flattered. On the other hand your overly aggressive retaliation to atheistic comments early on in the thread is charming.

Spero · 05/05/2013 12:24

I love my child all the time and always will no matter what she says or does.

Sometimes I am profoundly irritated by her and wish she would stop whining for eg but that has nothing to do with how much I love her or whether or not I would give my life to save hers.

I always would.

Sorry, still don't understand about how Old and New Testament fit together. Presumably Jesus doesn't advocate killing gay people or adulterers or people who eat shell fish. So where in the new Testament will I find rejection of the Old?

hellymelly · 05/05/2013 12:30

I can't comment usefully on the faith side of this, but I had my daughters at 41 and 43, and I hadn't left it so late by choice either. I was lucky, I wish you the same. I also can't believe that anyone who is clearly so concerned with being a good person would be punished in the way you imagine. It is harder to conceive as you get older, but not impossible, many of us are lucky, some are not, some need extra help to conceive. It is just biology, not religion, that will dictate whether you conceive or not. I hope you get the baby you long for.

Spero · 05/05/2013 12:33

Sorry, see I got the wrong perspective on the question - I hope my child knows this because we have had explicit conversations about it. I explain when I have shouted or snapped - sometimes it is because she has behaved badly or sometimes I have been unfair because I am tires or stressed. I emphasise this has nothing to do with how much I love her.

If she ever felt that my love was dependant upon her consistent obedience to arbitrary and oppressive laws I would feel I had utterly failed, not merely as a parent but as a human being.

BoyMeetsWorld · 05/05/2013 12:51

I agree with Laurie - that scripture which has worried you refers to divorce or to not stating with someone who tries to steer you away from God...as long as your DH respects your beliefs completely & doesn't try to influence them, sure your marriage can only be a positive. Otherwise the interpretation is a flat out 'Christians are the supreme race; all others are wrong - dont become involved with them or you are damned". I cant & won't believe that is a 'god breathed'message.

Nor can I believe God does not want you to have a child - our main purpose in life is to procreate and maintain His race. But whilst God can bless and guide, he can't overrule our own natural choice ie Adam & Eve. For whatever reasons in your life you've been unable to start a family, it is now quite late. I very much hope for you that it's not too late & your treatment works. But don't necessarily be quick to blame God if it doesn't and, as others have said, he may bless you in other ways that you dont even yet realise are your hearts desire...

dogsandcats · 05/05/2013 13:23

The point I am trying to make, maybe not very well, is that a child, any child,would almost always say at times that their parent does not love them. But a parent does, even though the child will disagree from time to time.
Same thing happens with us and God.

daftdame · 05/05/2013 13:29

Spero there is a large part of the New Testament which deals with your question, sorry I can't remember chapter and verse when but it talks about grace and law and the old covenant (brought in with Moses) and the new brought to us through Christ. Perhaps someone could help out? Anyway it's all there...you've just got to keep reading.

dogsandcats · 05/05/2013 13:34

Hebrews possibly?

Original poster
Jewcy · 05/05/2013 13:37

God's greatest command is that will love Him with all our heart, all our mind and all our strength..and that we love one another. This is all I am trying to do.

Blessings to you all.

OP posts:
PedroYoniLikesCrisps · 05/05/2013 16:08

Sorry, still don't understand about how Old and New Testament fit together. Presumably Jesus doesn't advocate killing gay people or adulterers or people who eat shell fish. So where in the new Testament will I find rejection of the Old?

If Christians didn't want to live by Old Testament values they wouldn't have it as part of their scripture. They'd just be New Testament Christians. But as they don't, you have to assume that the OT is very much a part of the religion. Any rejection of it in the NT would be counter-intuitive.

daftdame · 05/05/2013 16:39

Pedro wasn't talking about the rejection of the Old Testament. You don't reject the first part of a book because there is a second part. However the second part does move forwards from the first part, like any book.

Why are you so adamant about what Christians believe in? If you want to find out more about what we believe in, read more of the Bible yourself. What I was talking about was recognition of the Bible as a whole book, not just taking pieces out of context.

daftdame · 05/05/2013 16:41

^ that should be -I- wasn't...

daftdame · 05/05/2013 16:43

Jewcy - now that sound like a good idea. Grin

alemci · 05/05/2013 16:44

Hi Dogs and Cats yes definitely she is. At times I wish she'd lighten up a bit as I think the sex before marriage thing just makes the young people get married in a rush IYSWIM.

She had a serious relationship that broke up over a year ago and I wish she'd find someone else and if it doesn't work out then it doesn't but not make such a big deal of the whole thing. She is now away at university so I find it easier.

PedroYoniLikesCrisps · 05/05/2013 16:47

Why are you so adamant about what Christians believe in? If you want to find out more about what we believe in, read more of the Bible yourself. What I was talking about was recognition of the Bible as a whole book, not just taking pieces out of context.

I've read it. It's quite poor in quality.

My point was precisely the same that the books should be taken as a whole. The OT is quite disgusting in terms of what it teaches and this is the basis of Christianity. So what if the NT 'moves things on'? It doesn't change the fact that the OT exists and has some bizarre suggestions about how life should be lived and the type of god you have looking over you.

I'd actually respect a religion far more if it based itself purely on the NT.