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Original poster

Does God withhold blessings from Christians who are living in disobedience?

479 replies

Jewcy · 03/05/2013 18:00

I am a Christian but my husband is not. I am desperate to be a better person in God's eyes but can not escape the instruction in 2 Corinth ch 6 re being unequally yoked to non-believers. I am nearly 42 and desperately trying to start a family (I mc'd last year). We are due to fly to the Czech Republic in June for donor egg IVF but I can't help worrying that God will not bless me with a child whilst I continue to willfully live a disobedient life. I entered into a relationship with my husband knowing that it is not God's will for me to be with a non-Christian. Am I to be forever outside of God's will? My prayer life has become almost non-existent as I don't feel I can appeal to the Lord for his blessings re a baby and yet it is all I can think about.

I guess the real problem here is that my obsession with starting a family has superceded my devotion and surrender to God's will. Please help me Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
Jewcy · 04/05/2013 22:34

Daftdame, I can't help frequently feeling disappointed that some of my behaviours are no better (or loving) than before I came to know Christ as my saviour. Take the example of my mockery of the lady mentioned by Stuffez: it really gets me down that I still have that side of me that would willingly ridicule someone else. It's not on.

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ZZZenagain · 04/05/2013 22:36

I think you should speak to a spiritual advisor within your church about this 5or clarification on the status of your marriage and guidance wrt asking God to bless you with a baby. I don't think it can be good for your marriage if you continue to equate it with "wilful disobedience" to God 's will, therefore sin. I can see this marriage running into trouble longer term.

You say you have a prayer blockage atm since you cannot pray for a dc in your opinion. I think you can personally, but you need the word of someone who thinks similarly in religious terms to you. What a bunch of people on the internet say will probably not be enough to remove your doubts.

If you are feeling a bit obsessed by the desire to have a dc, you might be putting this first atm (understandably so) but this would then be an "idol" presumably (1st c).

Speak to a church leader about this whole issue

ZZZenagain · 04/05/2013 22:38

crossed posts with MrsP.

MrsPoglesWood · 04/05/2013 22:42

Absolutely what ZZZ says. Please talk to someone at your church.

Original poster
Jewcy · 04/05/2013 22:42

Thanks, Pogles, for such a detailed share of your perspective. I have spoken with the vicar at my old church (I now live too far away from that fellowship and the churches around my village are rubbish - none are evangelical or seem to have a minister who actually loves God Hmm) who has tried to instil in me the blessing of recognising redemption and grace. I do cling on to the knowledge that God loves me and wants the best for me and that every one of my sins - past, present and future - have been nailed to the cross. But...doesn't God ask us to live a certain way, love a certain way and choose to be with those who would also love Christ so that we may flourish together in God's love? I feel like I have wilfully turned away from that in order to be with my husband.

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Original poster
Jewcy · 04/05/2013 22:46

Thanks, ZZZ, yes - it bothers me endlessly, the knowledge that TTC a baby has become my 'idol'. Crumbs. I'm off to bed. Good night everyone and thankyou - all of you - for your posts (am feeling v humbled by Stuffez' reminder to me about kindness to others).

Night all.

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daftdame · 04/05/2013 22:50

Jewry- I think you have to be patient with yourself and with you husband. I think you have much to learn, there is much to be revealed to you.

Remember the Bible can only make sense when you take it as a whole book. Read and read, pray and pray, pray for revelation through the Holy Ghost, pray that you may interpret, pray that you will discern God's will, pray for revelation...and wait. Faith is the substance of things which are not seen...(I'm remembering here may not be an exact quote). The word promises that God will write his laws in your heart....seek Him. Sadly Mumsnet is not the Holy Ghost...

ZZZenagain · 04/05/2013 22:50

email or write a letter to the vicar at your old church, write what is troubling you, ask if you can arrange a time to call and discuss this with him because it worries you so much. Even if it is an expensive call, it might well be worth it.

dogsandcats · 04/05/2013 22:53

For when you wake up in the morning. I think you are being a bit hard on yourself.
I think, and I could be wrong,that people start off being Christians from different points. Our lives before becoming Christians will range from having quite good behaviour all the way to very bad behaviour.
I dont know exactly what your behaviour was like before you became a Christian. But if it was not so good, God will understand that. And will realise that it may take longer than others to become more Christlike. Or even if it is not a case of a long time, that some major and minor slip ups may occur along the way.
Hope this makes sense.

daftdame · 04/05/2013 23:05

Jewry - look at what Jesus said about the Pharisees, look at how forgiving Jesus was to the adulteress woman, look at the story of Martha and Mary.

Don't judge yourself, focus on what Jesus did. Peter only could walk on water whilst he was looking towards Jesus, he began to sink when he looked away. Forget about what you are doing and study what Jesus did. Let it change your heart...(and give it chance!) remember Jesus also ministered to the Samaritan woman and then agreed when he healed a Gentile child that even dogs could eat the crumbs...

daftdame · 04/05/2013 23:06

Sorry Jewcy^

MeSoFunny · 04/05/2013 23:07

:-O and what of the other, countless, unions between Christians and atheists which have issue? What was God saying to them?

Or is god only interested in you?

MrsPoglesWood · 04/05/2013 23:14

From what I can see you and your DH love each other very much. You have a loving and happy home in to which you would welcome children. You are an actively worshipping Christian but your DH isn't. But he is a good and loving man.

People without religion do usually have a human moral code where we do the right thing, respect others and treat treat people with love and kindness. You do not have to subscribe to a particular faith to do that. I think you perhaps need to take a step back from your adherence to the words in the Bible and actually put your relationship into perspective as to what a loving and fulfilling relationship is.

daftdame · 04/05/2013 23:19

Jewry - you are worried about you sin, David, Moses killed. Saul had a vision of Jesus asking him why he had been persecuting him. God knows we are sinful creatures, it's why He sent Christ.

You have got to accept that we are forgiven through Christ. Accept forgiveness. Your repentance involves accepting Christ has the power to redeem you and taking that in faith.

daftdame · 04/05/2013 23:29

MrsPogleWood - I see what you are saying the Bible taken out of context can seem very harsh. You really have to take in it's entirety.

God is a loving and forgiving God. A lot of people draw strength from their faith, it is their strength. The Bible defines love, even as someone outside the faith you would have to admit there are lots of beautiful things said about love in the Bible.

daftdame · 04/05/2013 23:31

Sorry again Jewcy! ^

daftdame · 04/05/2013 23:43

Sorry Pogle reread and see you are more lapsed (?) than outside the faith as such.

I too lived with my (now) husband - I don't think I really saw him as anything else but came to my senses when realised the law would not see him as next of kin...we married, Yay!

MrsPoglesWood · 04/05/2013 23:48

Indeed so *daftdame" but there is also lots in the Bible that is cruel, mysoginistic and downright horrible. It is also widely accepted - and proved through carbon dating of the manuscripts - that much of the Bible was written at least 2 centuries after Jesus died. And there are lots of bits missing I think. The Bible we have today is what the early church leaders thought we should have rather than what we should've had.

MrsPoglesWood · 04/05/2013 23:52

Yes daft am more lapsed that anything. I do have a faith but I don't go to church. Me and the God chap have a special relationship, we just have informal chats now and again.

exoticfruits · 05/05/2013 07:32

What a lovely thought to start the day MrsPogleWood - it really made me smile to think of you having your "informal chat' over your early morning cuppa. Smile

You can find something in the Bible to fit what you want to say. In his job my father used to have someone who did a Bible quote to back up his opinion. My father used to take great delight in finding a quote to write back that fitted his opinion- he never failed to find one!

daftdame · 05/05/2013 08:07

Good morning MrsPogleWood et al.

Re. church I see it as the group of people who are Christians rather than a place.

Re. Bits of the Bible, it's what we've got, need to read it - the word is spirit. Without it, knowledge of it I think your faith can be 'off' centre, also you could become the victim of someone else's 'strange' doctrine.

daftdame · 05/05/2013 08:34

exoticfruits re. You Dad's versus his colleague, I tend to think of the paradoxes as checks and balances. You have to look at each quotation in context, it is the reason that isolated bits of the Bible taken out of context can confuse. For me the answer is read more not less, then you get the balance. As I said you have to take the Bible in it's entirety.

I also love a good paradox, for me it can be how you know it's from God - it shows something bigger than we are, something that is right on the edge of our under standing...God's mystery.

daftdame · 05/05/2013 08:39

sorry it should be Your Dad^ in my last post -not quite used to the iPad.

PedroYoniLikesCrisps · 05/05/2013 08:50

Humans, too, forgive rapists and murderers. We are capable of the most paradoxical and insane and wondrous feats. What's your point?

My point was that whatever you think God is punishing you for, he probably isn't given his level of forgiveness in other areas. But I said that originally so why not read the post before asking questions which have already been answered.

PedroYoniLikesCrisps · 05/05/2013 08:56

I can't help frequently feeling disappointed that some of my behaviours are no better (or loving) than before I came to know Christ as my saviour. Take the example of my mockery of the lady mentioned by Stuffez: it really gets me down that I still have that side of me that would willingly ridicule someone else. It's not on.

Perhaps it's just that you think God will swoop in and make you a better person. Well sorry, you need to work on that yourself, whatever you believe in.

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