Hi Jewcy,
When my husband and I were about to try IVF for the first time we visited a church whilst on holiday and, in amongst all the various parish information, we saw a booklet about IVF. Basically, this particular church leaflet said that IVF was wrong in God's eyes - if you couldn't have a child naturally you should be content with your lot in life was almost exactly the words used.
Although I hadn't been to church since I was 7 years old (and my husband since he was 13 years old) that still hurt and made us really question if we were making the right decision. I'd always been a person who doesn't ask for anything in a prayer - I always say a thank you though, even if it's just for a sunny day to get the washing dry! So I'd call myself a Christian even though I didn't go to church.
About a month later we both wrote down on a piece of paper whether we wanted to go ahead with the IVF and how many tries we would give it. Both of us wrote down yes to going ahead and that we'd stick to two tries.
Our first attempt was unsuccessful and the church leaflet really began to bury itself in my subconcious. But we went ahead with our second attempt...our son was born when I was 44 years old. My own eggs. I only produced three eggs and all three were fertilised.
So, as a non-church goer, was the church leaflet (the written word) correct? Or was I given a sign that God's wishes and the 'man-made' rules could sometimes two different things? Did God provide the right IVF doctor at the right time? Or were we just lucky?
Our son was born with a heart defect and was given a month to live. A fantastic doctor saved his life. In some areas of Christianity he would have died because of man's interpretation of God's word. So, did God, again provide help for our son? We certainly felt something watched over him - we went to our GP through a gut feeling that something wasn't right, she sent us to A&E because the equipment in the surgery wasn't giving a true reading, the local hospital had a consultant on that day who specialised in congenital heart defects and spotted the problem, the heart hospital had a bed and it happened to be the hospital where the surgeon who had pioneered the technique used on our son worked (and was on duty that day and did his procedure). So many coincidences coming together to save our boy. By the way, I never prayed to God to save his life. I just, again, said thank you for getting us to the right hospital and doctor. I didn't believe God would save him directly, I believed the doctor would - but then you could say who provided the doctor...?
So, I suppose what I'm saying is what God or nature or science or whatever you want to call it, wants for you and what man interprets that to be can be two different things.
If things go well for you I imagine you'll thank God and wonder why He wasn't angry with you. If it doesn't go well, is it really all down to your husband or your staying with your husband and God's anger at that? It can't work both ways.
I honestly don't believe God is so 'straight down the line'. If I did I'd have taken that leaflet as a sign not to go ahead and our son (who is currently breakdancing round the room - his heart condition is very well managed) would never have enriched our lives. The one thing God supposedly gave us is free will and DH and I exercised that by going ahead with the IVF.
I really wish you well with the IVF. Try to be thankful for the chance, no matter what the outcome.