Does God withhold blessings from Christians who are living in disobedience?

[Jewcy]

I am a Christian but my husband is not. I am desperate to be a better person in God's eyes but can not escape the instruction in 2 Corinth ch 6 re being unequally yoked to non-believers. I am nearly 42 and desperately trying to start a family (I mc'd last year). We are due to fly to the Czech Republic in June for donor egg IVF but I can't help worrying that God will not bless me with a child whilst I continue to willfully live a disobedient life. I entered into a relationship with my husband knowing that it is not God's will for me to be with a non-Christian. Am I to be forever outside of God's will? My prayer life has become almost non-existent as I don't feel I can appeal to the Lord for his blessings re a baby and yet it is all I can think about.

I guess the real problem here is that my obsession with starting a family has superceded my devotion and surrender to God's will. Please help me

Try again. Fail again. Fail better.

I think I have got that quote wrong but hopefully you get the gist.

The first one I wanted to die. It was horrible. But it was more the fear of the unknown. Zombie was very kind and talked me through it on here and by number 3 it was kind of routine. I have been very lucky and not has the horrible side effects like mouth ulcers. I am just fetchingly bald and quite tired. I feel crap for the first week and then much better until the next.

Last one tomorrow if my blood counts are ok. Very relieved.

I do think this site can be very supportive and helpful - just try to filter out the stuff that makes you angry andif you find your buttons being pushed, take a break.

Spero, that sounds so awful. Really really hope you will pull through this.

Spero don't want to ignite an argument at all but was reading back and you asked Just out of interest - how do Christians put for e.g. Leviticus 'in context' ? Some Christians do not take the Bible all literally. Leviticus was talking about a specific situation for a specific group of people. As Christians we believe Jesus fulfilled the law. I believe some of the passages are talking about avoiding the kind of worship including sexual practices that were not acceptable, e.g. temple prostates etc. Anyone who has read about temple prostitutes would not want that for anyone.

Pedro The Old Testament is the story of God?s people, the Hebrews, and their journey. Personally, I would not want to take it all literally. It doesn?t mean it is no longer relevant. It just means we are not bound by it. But sometimes you need to remember the past. To lose it totally might mean that one day you try to go back to it! George Santayana said "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it? I don?t know if it is relevant here but I think part of the Old Treatment is about mistakes, Moses killed an Egyptian, David had an affair with Bathsheba and then killed her husband etc etc, full of people making mistakes, not a pattern for us to follow! Yet there is also wisdom, and beauty and poetry and psalms which are special songs we say and sing, like the ?Lord?s my Shepherd?, it is a lot of stuff. But we are not expected as modern day Christians to stone anyone. And I expect most Christians and non Christians know that.

Italian - it is just very hard for me to reconcile Leviticus and Deuteronomy with the whole concept of god as love. The passages I read are very unambiguous in their instruction to kill gay men and adulterous women.

I see lots of religious people, particularly in the US use the Bible to justify their discrimination against or even outright contempt and hatred for gay people.

I attended an Alpha course in my 20s as I was genuinely curious and no one could explain to me how they reconciled this, other than by shuffling a bit and saying it was taken out of context.

I do not know if god or gods exist so I suppose I am not really an atheist. But it is a sad fact that for me at any rate, the most bigoted and hateful people I have ever met professed to believe in god and were followers of the Abrahamic religions.

I appreciate not all religious people are like that but a lot of energy seems to be directed at following 'laws' rather than looking in ones own heart and asking questions there.

This thread is really interesting. As I read it, the atheists seem to be fairly united in saying that objective 'goodness' matters more than subjective happiness. And that we all ought to practice what we preach, accept our faults with humility, forgive others and hope we too can be forgiven, remember to love our neighbour and not to worry too much about past or future as each day has enough troubles (and joys) of its own. Was going to pop back and add a post with the Catholic viewpoint, but you've already phrased it in a more theologically sound, and loving way than I would've, so I'll defer

Yes, spero there is a lot of hatred and anger out there. I don't know why. I can't say why people seem so hung up on some aspects of life. I do believe God is bigger and better than all that. The lives of some amazing and kind Christians are a good testament though, it is not all doom and gloom.

Jewcy, I really think you need some regular contact with some RL Christians. And although you may not be comfortable with the leadership of the local churches, it's likely that there will be believers within the congregation(s) who you can fellowship with. Whether they are RC, CoE, Baptist, Methodist etc shouldn't get in the way.

It's likely that they will irritate and sometimes fail you too (well, assuming you're anything like me ), but that's ok. The disciples were always falling out, but it didn't stop them becoming the Church.

The fundamental need of any believer is God, and when we are struggling, it's very hard to look for Him alone. Denomination does matter, there are some important points of difference... but these don't negate the Holy Spirit's promise to show up whenever two or more Christians pray together.

I am a Christian who takes it literally.
I have been on a few philosophy threads before, but have had a nc.
I personally dont have much of a problem with any of the books. To me, OT an NT make sense [admittedly i will never fully understand it all, but I try].

Very good post Mareeya

I did see that you're going to church every few weeks... but (again, assuming you struggle as I do), it may not be enough.

I am now questioning myself about why I accept Leviticus and Deueronomy so readily.
I think it is because at about aged 10, I used to go to a relatively small school. Myclassroom had 4 years in it with both sexes. On the whole the boys played up, and the girls didnt. The boys regularly got told off by the teacher and had to stop what they were doing.
And I could not see the point to it. To my mind, if you were not naughty, it cut out the agro from the teacher. She was a relatively strict teacher.
So I learnt from that.

Ultimately I trust God.

But how is a man loving another man worthy of being called an 'abomination'? Why does god want them dead?

How can god call love in any form an abomination? Why does he care what we do with our genitals?

Why is sex only permissible in order to procreate? Why give us the capacity to have orgasms if sex wasn't meant to be enjoyed?

But we are not expected as modern day Christians to stone anyone. And I expect most Christians and non Christians know that.

So my question is how do you know that? God didn't tell you not to, so it must be based on your own take on morality. One which is not dictated by god..... Imagine that!

Pedro Imagine that . Well, the church in general, at least mine, doesn't teach me to stone people and yes I also do think for myself.

Yikes Spero. You know the bible better than I do!
Can you tell me which verses you are speaking about please?

I went to the link nohalfmeasures gave and asked what the Bible thought about homosexuality and adulterers. Deuteronomy was a particular eye opener.

Women who commit adultery are to be stoned to death because they have shamed their father.

Pedro Just to clarify if my church were asking me to do any stoning I would be quickly leaving (and reporting them!). It's the same kind of argument about why I won't wear a head scarf to church, context. I don't want to hijack this thread but if you want to chat to me you know where you can find me! .

Ilikethebreeze - do you mean that being religious is tied up with a child-like notion of 'behave yourself or god will be cross'?

If so, I can really see that - I was pretty compliant at school, and we had religion rammed down our throats at pretty much every opportunity. So I grew up thinking that not believing in god was somehow 'naughty'.

It's a hard feeling to shake off, but I found that when I did and began to think for myself about what was 'good' and what wasn't, it was very liberating.

OP - sorry, you probably won't find that terribly helpful - except that I think possibly what you have 'found' with religion is the feeling of being supported and in a community? If so that's great, but it's not exclusive to religious groups, so don't beat yourself up too much about not being 'Christian' enough. If you focus on practical skills for living and working well, and maintaining a positive focus, the rest should fall into place.

Check out Deuteronomy 22:21 and Leviticus 20:13

I just do not understand why Jesus did not explicitly reject this stuff. It is utterly incompatible with a loving god. You can't just explain it away by saying it was due to the primitive and barbaric culture of the time. This is the Word of God.

Jewcy any news on your donor did you pick, feel free to PM me if you prefer. It was such a joy when I got the donor details through and I wrote out exactly what was said about the two lovely ladies who were offering to be my donor. Such an amazing time. I certainly agree with others that finding a church in RL would help. If you want a more evangelical one you might look for one doing an Alpha course www.alpha.org/ in your area. Not necessarily to do the course but just because that sort of church would be more evangelical. You might also find a Baptist church or free church quite to your liking. But I agree with MareeyaDolores that And although you may not be comfortable with the leadership of the local churches, it's likely that there will be believers within the congregation(s) who you can fellowship with...

Lizzy and Spero. Those are both questions to which I need to have some thought.
Hopefully I will be able to get back to you later this evening.

Wow a lot of 'stuff' has happened on here since I posted! Something that may help you Jewcy, with your original question (and why I didn't mention this originally I don't know. Probably because, in our family, it was a normal way of life so it didn't occur to me...) My dad was an atheist. When you're dead, you're dead. No heaven, no hell. End of story. My mum is a Christian. We went to Sunday school, mum's choice. Dad was OK with it as mum was happy and he adored her. She accepted his ideas as she couldn't imagine her life without him (though she's had to get used to that as he died 20 years ago after 41 years of marriage). They rarely discussed religion (probably easy as we have Jewish, Christian and Atheist backgrounds in our extended family which makes for fantastic celebrations and interesting conversations!). Mum would say a prayer every night - Dad would go and make her a cuppa so he could tut in private. But he never ridiculed her, nor she him because they were each other's life. They tried for 13 years to have children. Turned out to be a blockage in mum's fallopian tubes. That was sorted, mum lost a baby, tried again. Had me and two other children. So, if God will withhold blessings from a Christian who was 'locked' to a non-believer, he must have been looking the other way in our family, because an atheist and a Christian had a long, happy marriage and produced three (usually) pretty laid back kids. What they taught us was how to be tolerant and not to get so bogged down in worries that your life passes you by. My dad's favourite saying was 'don't worry about it. Next week the roof could cave in and you'd have wasted all that energy on this'. BTW my cousin, who was atheist, had the most moving, Humanist, funeral service I have ever attended. They had to put speakers outside the hall as it was filled to capacity and still more people were waiting outside to pay their respects. He did nightshift for the Samaritans and was one of the most 'Christian' non Christians I have ever had the honour to know. Tolerance and the ability to say 'My way isn't your way, but I respect you just the same' is a by-word in our family.

Lizzy, no, it's not the 'community' or 'support' thing. It is simply that, after having rejected Christ for so long and living to the best of my own abilities, I found it was not the kind of 'living' I wanted. I didn't go looking for Christ, however, He dragged me kicking and screaming.

FWIW I don't believe it is enough to simply be a good person (atheist or otherwise) or to have a sound moral compass (which I believe anyone is capable of possessing whether Christian, atheist or whatever). The bible tells us that we are sinful from the minute we are born (thanks to Adam's Original Sin) and nothing within us is worthy of merit. But Jesus' death redeemed mankind, opening the way for us to find forgiveness and salvation, without which we are dead in spirit and have no hope of eternal life.

So..there is a need to repent, a need to turn away from our former life and to 'pick up our cross'..

Spero, I know this probably offers no comfort to you but I'm praying about tomorrow.

Italian, we have gone with donor A, the nerdy one (like me!) May I ask how old you were when you had donor egg IVF? Can you share why you think it didn't work? You can pm me, of course.

Mareeya, you're right, you're right...I live at the bottom of a valley and we don't have a car and a Sunday bus service does not exist in this village so anywhere I have hunted for a church has been on foot within a two mile radius. I can't tell you how disheartened I was coming out of those churches. As soon as we get a car I'll be off

I still set Sundays aside as 'special' and, when I can't be at my family's church, I listen online to some amazing sermons from all over the world. Of course, it's not the same as real fellowship, which I miss sorely. DH is brilliant, really: when I have had far to walk in search of a church he has always come with me; rain, hail, wind or snow.

Jewcy your hubby sounds lovely. . Good luck with donor A. Cheering you on from the sidelines.

We ended up having many attempts with donor eggs, three in total although only two donors as one was a frozen cycle from donor 2. I will never know why it did not work but one theory is my immune system may be too active and might get rid of the embryos. Certanly I seemed to have multiple fertiity issues by the end which is why are DD is a total miracle. In the end I dad have treatment for immunology issues, I have a special drip. I was also having injections of Clexine in my tummy. It all got very medical and very stressful and expensive. Nothing worked so we stopped trying and are now on the road to adoption. Which I now feel totally fine with.