Does God withhold blessings from Christians who are living in disobedience?

[Jewcy]

I am a Christian but my husband is not. I am desperate to be a better person in God's eyes but can not escape the instruction in 2 Corinth ch 6 re being unequally yoked to non-believers. I am nearly 42 and desperately trying to start a family (I mc'd last year). We are due to fly to the Czech Republic in June for donor egg IVF but I can't help worrying that God will not bless me with a child whilst I continue to willfully live a disobedient life. I entered into a relationship with my husband knowing that it is not God's will for me to be with a non-Christian. Am I to be forever outside of God's will? My prayer life has become almost non-existent as I don't feel I can appeal to the Lord for his blessings re a baby and yet it is all I can think about.

I guess the real problem here is that my obsession with starting a family has superceded my devotion and surrender to God's will. Please help me

Jewcy, I think it would be helpful to consider my link posted previously, then go back over your posts and ask yourself "Is this how Jesus would have responded?"

Sorry, that made me laugh. I had a mental image of bearded bloke in sandals telling the Pharisees they were a crock of shit.

If it helps, I have got a book called What Would Buffy Do? Which I find helpful in almost every situation.

Spero

Mutual respect, Christian charity?? Some discussion on here has been hectoring and a v poor demonstration of Christian virtues (love thy neighbour?)

Jewcy, remember that many/most people, not just you (!) have suffered in their lives- abuse, bereavement, betrayal etc. We all have our own ways of coping which may include religion or atheism, both equally valid for that individual so long as they don't ram theirs down other people's throats or attack theirs if opposing!

I have taken my folding chair to the park at the back of my house. I sit here with my ipad and coffee whilst my dog tries to get belly rubs from every passing stranger.

It is sunny and glorious. I am happy and at peace. There is no darkness or delusions here. It makes me sad that some Christians seek to portray my life as such, because I don't share their faith.

And I find it odd that faith doesn't bring peace. But there you go. Each to their own.

I hope everyone else has a lovely day.

I hope you enjoy your day Spero
Hand having a park at the back of your house I would have thought.
I too have very nice views, but no park in sight!

Faith does bring some peace.
But as you can see, Christians are not perfect, so we have a way to go to get perfect peace.

I am sorry. My responses have been spiteful in some cases and I want to apologise to those they were directed towards. I also want to say sorry to those Christians who must've found my anger difficult to read. I have a long way to go in taming my tongue but I will keep looking to Jesus.

nohalfmeasures, your link stunned me into silence (oh, the irony). Mainly because it should be so easy to keep schtum and look to Jesus instead. I just find it hard when my Lord is rubbished but I know there is a wrong way to respond and I am certainly guilty of that.

Peace be with you all today.

Well done.

Actually, taming the tongue is very hard, as I think it says on the link.

Peace be with you too, Jewcy and everyone on here.

It may help to focus on the fact that questioning Christianity or any religion is just that and is valid; it's not an invalidation of your personal views to do so so try not to feel angry or "rubbished" if people do so.

How supportive is your church in presenting a benevolent, charitable God? If it isn't, i might be tempted to look around for a new one.

Salbertina, as I mentioned upthread I am currently not worshipping at any church except when I go to stay with family every three weeks (their church is amazing but far away).

I live in a tiny ancient village and I have hunted high and low for a sound evangelical ministry but the churches here are awful with crusty old vicars who neither love Jesus (it would appear) nor wish to help others grow. Some would say any church is better than none but I can't bear sitting in those High C of E churches where they spend eons chucking incense around and reading out the week's notices but happily avoiding ministering to God's people.

I want to sit under a challenging ministry where the Gospel is central and I can grow spiritually. I crave spiritual milk because I want a closer walk with God and I need fellowship, too. I honestly am not forever flagellating myself; I know God has forgiven my past (and my present and future) sins and wants the best for me; I know He has plans to prosper me and not to harm me; plans to give me hope and a future. However, I know if my walk with Him is not close I am wont to lose sight of His truths and I don't want that, for that is where I find peace.

1 Corinth 13 v 1-8:

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I am rubbish, rubbish, rubbish

...but God loves me

Please don't flame me for this question: do you think some people are naturally more 'loving' than others? I am not talking about Christians and atheists as separate entities here, I am talking about the human race as a whole; do some people find loving (in the true biblical sense) easier than others? Is our ability to 'love thy neighbour' shaped by our personalities (for want of a better word)? Or our upbringing (learned behaviour)?

I think it does come naturally for some. I think for others it has to be a conscious effort.
Try Googling "5 love languages". DH and I did ours and they were VERY different from each other. It was good because now we know we have to make an effort to communicate in each others "language".

Yes Jewcy. I do think some people are naturally more loving than others, Christians and non Christians.
Agree with all of your post.

When we become Christians, we all start from a different background.
And find aspects of the bible easish or hard, according to our background and our inherent personality.
Personally, I find things like obeying relatively easy I suppose, but it took me 5 years after becoming a Christian to become patient.

I find it easy to love others and because of my past I am less judgemental than I was as an atheist when I lived for myself and by my own rules. Back then I pretty much hated everyone. I am, however, quick to anger which pretty much rules out the love bits when I fly off the handle. I volunteer with addicts and sex workers and find that they keep my feet on the ground. The past is never very far away.

I've just read the thread and wanted to quickly say Jewcy my husband and I had IUI for our daughter and then later also tried IVF many times, including with donor eggs. Sadly it was unsuccessful.

I really really hope your treatment will be successful; I know two ladies who have little boys aged under 2 who are the result of IVF with donor eggs, it does work sometimes, I hope it will for you.

I've been a Christian for 30 years and come from an evangelical background. I am amazed to hear of your story and your past. I wonder if maybe because your life was so 'hard' that's my choice of word based on what you have described, that now as a Christian, saved from a terrible time of it, you feel a great responsibility to live a very good Christian life.

I expect many of us as Christians do feel a responsibility to live a good life. Please do be kind to yourself and do not expect too much of yourself. We all make mistakes.

The Bible in 2 Corinthians 6:14 talks about being unequally yoked and this passage is sometimes used to talk about marriage to (or could be partnership in a business with) a non-Christian. It could also have other meanings.

However, I would say that we have free will and we may marry whoever we are legally allowed to marry. Marrying someone who does not share your faith, or even someone whose faith is very different in their life even if we are both Christians, can make life much harder for 'us'. So personally I believe this is a suggestion to us that life can be harder when we marry someone who doesn?t share our faith. Which many would say was true.

However, this is a general point and there may be people out there for whom life would be harder to be single. I know it would for me!

Based on what you have said about your husband and your relationship I would say that he came into your life and has been a blessing to you, and you are a blessing to him.

I think that is wonderful. I really do not think God has any desire to withhold a blessing from you because of that relationship. Whether you will be able to have e a child together or not I don?t know but I wish you all the very best.

I don?t believe everything that happens is directly down to God because we have free will and there is also the biological factor that sometimes things happen, babies born etc, and sometimes people get sick etc and that is not in my option all down to God doing things. My hubby and I are Christians and have had lots of fertility treatment, only one lot of it worked.

I would suggest getting some support for the fertility side of life, there are fertility threads on musmet that are helpful and there maybe support groups on line or in real life.

Spero I am so sorry to hear about your breast cancer. I hope you are getting lots of support in real life and I wish you well, and a recovery. For what it is worth a friend in real life was diagnosed with breast cancer a couple of years ago. She had a terrible prognosis and actually had chemo before surgery and amazingly she has made a good recovery and (I am not sure of all the terms and what a full recovery would mean) but she looks back to good health and as far as I know all is currently well. I am a Christian and I will say a prayer for you because I am not sure what else I can really offer! I do run the Race for Life when I can and I really really hope this terrible disease will be eradicated. Thinking of you.

I think you need to work on your anger first and foremost.
Part of the reason I say this is because sometimes we may only meet or interact with people once
So they may know you as a Christian, and then you let rip, and that is the impression they are left with.

An advert is half coming to mind. Something along the lines of "We only have one chance to make a first impression?"

LondonJax I loved reading about your son. How amazing and wonderful. My DD likes break dancing too! We had IUI for our daughter. I knew not to discuss fertility treatment with anyone who would have a different opinion to me! I had made my mind up and stuck to what I felt was right. It was so personal to me. Now that it is in the past I would happily discuss it with anyone!

Jewcy I also love Jeremiah ch 29 v 11. Reading about your choosing between egg donors has really brought it back for me! I had two to choose form and they were remarkable similar, just like yours. What is your gut feeling!

Jewcy Yes, I do think some people are more loving than others. I would also say that I think sometimes having a difficult life can make people maybe (Just mu opinion) find it harder to be loving. For example if people have said or done mean things a person they may find it hard to accept love or care or innocent questions from others and may doubt other people?s motives.

I think definitely we all have different abilities and different ways of feeling and expressing love as a result of our inherent personalities and our life experiences. Some of us just have to try harder - I have to try hard to be organised for eg, it is not my natural state but I know life runs more smoothly if I try.

But it's not the falling that matters, it is rising every time we fall - can't remember who said that but think it very true.

You are not rubbish if you fail, you are only rubbish if you can't be arsed to even try.

Italiangreyhound, thanks for your good wishes. Only one more round of chemo to go!

Italian, thank you for your post, it has uplifted me. My life has been chaotic and pretty wild, at times, and I don't claim to have had it harder than anyone else. When I have been seriously ill it has been as a result of the choices I have made. When I have been in the gutter, I have put myself there. When I have been battered and bruised it is because I have stayed in that relationship. When I have been homeless it was as a direct result of my addiction. My past is littered with sadness and pain because of the choices I made in how I lived. My past is also punctuated by some wonderful, hilarious, deeply happy and fulfilling times where I have travelled the world and met marvellous people.

However, the wonderful times never lasted and I inevitably sabotaged the potential for good outcomes with the choices I made. I have prostituted myself, had an abortion, been made homeless, lived in a women's refuge, been to rehab, been given a suspended prison sentence, lost my family, attempted suicide (twice), have been hospitalised many times due to my alcoholism, watched my father attempt suicide (four times) and on and on..

I am not trying to elicit sympathy here. I am trying to give you a glimpse of how my life has been for two decades and how much I am thankful to God for lifting me out of the misery when all health professionals, family, social workers and friends failed. I love where I am now: I live a hugely uninteresting (some would say) and peaceful, chaos-free life. I can see God's handprint on every stage of it up to the present day and I want to serve Him and give Him the glory. This is why I feel saddened when my old nature seems to be never far away and I still feel shackled to my old self.

Spero, how are you finding the chemo? I think you are very brave, I can't bear hospitals. When is your last chemo scheduled for?