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Original poster

Prayers for Aillidh.

939 replies

chipmonkey · 11/05/2012 12:24

Just wanted to start a prayer thread for expat's little girl, Ailidh, who has been very ill with leukaemia. Just wanted to show our support and pray that her treatment works and that she is back in action very, very soon!

OP posts:
FarloRigel · 12/06/2012 10:37

Thinking of you this morning. I would have made the same decision and I don't know another oncology parent who wouldn't have. I honestly doubt her doctors would have taken no for an answer without a massive fight anyway. They ask us to make these 'decisions' because that's the rules but in reality it is very hard to push for anything they don't feel gives your child the best hope out of what they can offer. It is torture, and the feeling of guilt and responsibility is crushing when your child is suffering and you signed those papers, but it's a false responsibility. All we can do for our children is stand on the shoulders of those brave parents who allowed the doctors to do what they believe is best, and pay it forward to the families coming behind us. We never get to know what would have happened if we made the other choice, in most cases I think we would be left with the same feelings of doubt and guilt either way. I would be feeling the same in the same situation I'm sure, but for what it's worth I'm still hoping like hell you get to walk out that door with your daughter smiling beside you. Massive hugs and hoping for your miracle.

FuckerSnailInYourHedgerow · 12/06/2012 10:40

I am still thinking of you both. You sound like a fantastic person, and a dedicated mother.

I'll be lighting a candle for Ailidh and your family later on.

McKayz · 12/06/2012 10:40

Thinking of you this morning. We went to light a candle for Aillidh in church after dropping DS1 at school.

DottyDot · 12/06/2012 10:56

Expat - I'm on here loads and am following your story - you had no choice. The other choice was even worse than the one you had to make. I can't think that anyone else could or would have chosen differently. Time wasn't on your side and you went with the greater odds - of course you did and I would have too, without doubt or question. Dp works with a children's Macmillan team (in admin) said of course that's what you did - it was the only thing to do.

Wishing and hoping for you xx

thecinnamongiraffe · 12/06/2012 10:58

Also praying for your daughter, and for you and your family. Have often been on the same threads (range of different names over time...). No wise words to offer, just prayers.

thaliablogs · 12/06/2012 11:11

Expat I can only imagine what you are going through and what Aillidh is dealing with. I'm with others in empathising with the way you are blaming your own decisions. But, like others, agree that given the odds you were given, this must have seemed like the best possible chance for her, and one therefore that your husband and you must have felt was the best option. The fact it is not working does not mean that that decision was wrong.

I know no one else can sit with her, but can someone come with you to meetings with the docs so you can ask questions and your friend/colleague/minister can take notes, remind you of what you want to say etc.? I know it's just so hard in the heat of the moment to manage the conversation to do all you need it to do. Plus we all know how much you need to be the advocate for your child, and that duty can be overwhelming against the docs expertise.

Thinking of you and wishing the very best for Aillidh

DameHermione · 12/06/2012 11:17

Expat, I don't belive it is your fault. I belive you were offered a chance and the decision you made was the best one at that time.

Praying hard for you and for Aillidh.

The3Bears · 12/06/2012 11:17

Praying for your dd, my thoughts are with you all x

Buntingbunny · 12/06/2012 11:25

Expat in any other circumstance you would never have gone with a 20% chance.

You did the RIGHT thing!

I know DHs bestfriend would have done, he never got the chance.

I have no god to pray to, but still I send what prayers I can.

expatinscotland · 12/06/2012 11:29

Now she has high bilirubin. Cue more drugs and a u/s of her liver.

perfumedlife · 12/06/2012 11:33

Oh expat. I know it's no consolation but I had high bilirubin this month, thanks to an prescription error and it was treated fairly easily. I know little one has so many other things going on but this one thing may actually be a quick fix.

Can I do anything for you, anything atall? Am in Glasgow but can travel up to where you are?

BCBG · 12/06/2012 11:37

Still here thinking of you all x

seeker · 12/06/2012 11:37

You did the best you could with what you knew at the time. Which is all any of us can do. And you are still doing that. Stay strong.

BarryShitpeas · 12/06/2012 11:39

Thinking about your family, and hoping Aillidh gets stronger. x

Kewcumber · 12/06/2012 11:48

I have lurked long enough on here and facebook and just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you.

Of course you feel guilty, we all believe that we should make the "right" decisions and that will make everything right for our DC's. But sometimes there isn't a "right" decision, just a decision. I wish there was something more I could do (have already urged particularly the young men in the family to sign up to the register).

If there's anything that might help you, please let me/us know.

sweetkitty · 12/06/2012 12:04

Thinking of you both as ever expat. Aillidh reminds me so much of Abbie with their long skinny legs, sparkle and their wonderful kind sweet natures. I often think that it could do easily be her going through this and I would have done the exact same thing that you have done.

Every morning I get up I pray she's going to have a better day, a glimmer of hope she's getting better.

rainydaysareheretostay · 12/06/2012 12:07

Expat, I dont know what to say, but I couldnt say nothing, none of this is your fault.

I so hope she pulls through this. (((((xxxxx)))))

StealthPolarBear · 12/06/2012 12:54

We're all still here, vent if you need to as we're listening

thejaffacakesareonme · 12/06/2012 12:58

You are all in my thoughts and prayers today.

EdgarAllenPimms · 12/06/2012 13:17

thinking of you today x

RabidAnchovy · 12/06/2012 13:30

Thinking of you all and offering prayers

mummylin2495 · 12/06/2012 13:33

I am so sorry to hear that there is yet another complication.As if Aillidh dosent have enough to cope with and you too.It is such an unfair world when young children have to go through through such a terrible time.Thinking of you and wishing that she will improve soon.

intravenouscoffee · 12/06/2012 14:08

Praying for Aillidh, expat and all the family.

CiderwithBuda · 12/06/2012 14:30

Still here. Still praying and hoping. Still wishing there was something more I could do.

X

cakeismysaviour · 12/06/2012 15:01

Still here.

I have lit my beautiful candle for Aillidh. I have had it for for ages, and have been 'saving' it, even though I didn't know what for. It seemed a good time to light it. Keeping the prayers coming.