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Original poster

Prayers for Aillidh.

939 replies

chipmonkey · 11/05/2012 12:24

Just wanted to start a prayer thread for expat's little girl, Ailidh, who has been very ill with leukaemia. Just wanted to show our support and pray that her treatment works and that she is back in action very, very soon!

OP posts:
sassytheFIRST · 11/06/2012 20:38

Expat, yr posts are heart breaking to read. Yr love for her shines from each line.

We are all with you praying and hoping for your miracle. Stay strong, love.

X

GitAwfMayLend · 11/06/2012 20:43

I am so, so sorry expat. Your poor darling daughter. Please don't blame yourself, you are doing all a mother can.

I really hope for a miracle.

TheFallenMadonna · 11/06/2012 20:47

Praying for Ailidh, and for you Expat.

Don't use headspace torturing yourself over the decisions you made. Keep it for the important here and now.

5madthings · 11/06/2012 20:48

oh expat i have been following this thread and sent my love and strength, its nothing nothing at all but i am so sorry you are going through this and i hope with all my heart that the graft takes, have they given a time scale of how long it can possibly take only a friend of a friend had to have one for adifferent immune system disease, his took ages to take, much longer than the drs expected but it did take in the end, he is not 100% but he is well and at home with his family and all is good tho he is suseptible (sp) to illness.

re a play therapist, if there were the funds for one would they let one in with your dd? only i am pretty sure there are plenty here who would pitch in, myself included and if it helps in any tiny way then give us the go ahead and i am sure it will be done xxx

StealthPolarBear · 11/06/2012 20:58

Yes agree. Obviously none of us can do anything in the slightest bit useful but if we can do anything to make life a tiny bit easier or less stressful then say.

Madsometimes · 11/06/2012 20:59

Expat, I lit a candle for Ailidh and the whole family at church this Sunday. People all over the country and the world are sending you love. Please I pray that you will feel this soon.

I'm so, so sorry that your dd is suffering so much. It's so wrong, and she doesn't deserve this.

If any member of my family needed a bone marrow transplant, then I would urge them to go for it. I would do exactly the same as you have done. The decision you made was the right one because you had no other choice. Risk in medical procedures is just awful, but if the treatment offers a better chance than doing nothing, then the decision is made.

You have been fighting for your child, no parent can do any more than this. You are an amazingly strong woman.

bradbourne · 11/06/2012 21:02

So truly sorry to hear of all you are going through. Praying for you and for your lovely daughter.

TunipTheVegemal · 11/06/2012 21:03

Thinking of you all Expat. xxxxx

stleger · 11/06/2012 21:09

So sorry things are so hard right now, thinking of you both there, and the rest of your family. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you all.

giraffesCantFitInThePalace · 11/06/2012 21:21

Jaffa, I have sat many hours with Aillidh to give expat at break, believe me if I was allowed in there I would be there, as it is all I can do is stand at the window and smile at her and do my silly stroking the window thing. Was up lastnight and she was asleep. I went up stright from work tonight (finished 7.30) and she looks terribly ill.

I really went up tonight to give expat a huge hug - which is from all of us on here and on fb. I gave her lots of hugs, please be assured all your hugs have been delivered.

Just keep willing her to get better. It is all we can do. I got in the car and power of love came on the radio. :)

BananaGio · 11/06/2012 21:24

Expat I havent posted before but I have often "liked" your posts in the past and have been following this thread hoping and praying for you all. A close friend of mine went through a bone marrow transplant last year. He had a terrible time for months but is thankfully a lot better now. He was given the same odds as your daughter and made the decision as an adult to go through with it. It was a brave decision for him to make, the decision that you had to make on behalf of your dd is far braver. I cannot imagine what that is like to have to make such enormous decisions on behalf of anyone else let alone your own child. I am sure she would have made the same decision were she an adult, the same as my friend did because she, as did you, and my friend, can only go with the facts they have in front of them. You made the bravest decision to increase her chance with the odds as they stand. You should never ever feel as if you did anything but the right thing. You have been dealt a shitty hand with this awful disease, in no way is anything your fault. I will continue hoping and praying for you all.

AppleCrumbleAndFish · 11/06/2012 21:48

As others have said, this is not your fault. My thoughts are with you, Aillidh and the rest of your family X

Matildarabbit · 11/06/2012 21:48

Oh I'm so sorry, I hope she pulls through...

ToothbrushThief · 11/06/2012 22:11

expat - you are exhausted and emotionally drained. Who wouldn't be.

It means you cannot think anything other than desperate desperate punishing thoughts.

I would have made the same decision
I love my girl
I would have made the same decision

I would have done the same and I would probably have cracked a long time ago and be beating myself up as you are now doing. Stop.

Your heart is breaking and you are trying to go backwards. I can't offer you hope. I so wish I could. Be calm and know peace. Then share that with her.

I know people cannot sit with her but can they sit with you and pray/give you meditation/quiet time to reflect but not beat yourself up.

I feel desperate for you. We all do. But none of us can make this ok. You have given her so much - do not attack yourself - it won't make her well.

slightlycrumpled · 11/06/2012 22:12

Expat, it is impossible to say anything remotely helpful, but thinking of you all here.

misdee · 11/06/2012 22:21

my words are useless.

dont beat your self up.

transplant of any description is the hardest decision to make. do it, and there is a huge risk. dont do it, and you wait to play with death. what do you do? you go with the best choice you have with the facts you have at the time. there is no going back. every roll of the dice is risky.

you and your lovely family are3 always in my thoughts,. i may not always comment on fb, but i am reading, and praying for you all.

SalAbility · 11/06/2012 22:22

Expat, I can't find the correct words, but know that miracles can happen. I'm praying for Ailidh and your family, and thinking of you.

cakeoholic · 11/06/2012 22:27

Expat I am also adding my thoughts, prayers and best wishes to you and Aillidh, I think of you both often and wish I could do more for you than hope.

What is happening now is beyond awful but you will never know what would have happened on the road not taken and this was the best decision at the time and you cannot regret that.

I have pm'd and fb'd you before about being local, please let me know if I can do anything, however big or small, even if it's bringing you a non vending machine coffee. I will pm you my number again

Francagoestohollywood · 11/06/2012 22:41

Dear, dear Expat, it is heartbreaking reading your posts. I really feel for you, I think all of us here believe you have made the best possible choice for your daughter.
Thinking of you x

Hassled · 11/06/2012 22:52

Bloody hell Expat. I wish I knew what to say.

All I can tell you is that, before Ailidh was ill, you were a strong woman with good judgement, and everything you write makes me believe you are still a strong woman with good judgement. And Ailidh will know that - she's always known that, I'm sure of it.

If it had been one of my DC and I was given the options you were, I know I'd have done as you did. I wouldn't have done it with the same strength as you, but I'd have made the same decision. It's not what you did, it's what the bastard cancer is doing.

giraffesCantFitInThePalace · 11/06/2012 23:03

Expat, Aillidh is such a wonderful girl, I truely love her. You couldn't not have given her this chance. I want to wander down corridors and have her pretend so spit chewing gum, and get in to trouble for showing her pics on my phone in front of you know who, and spill hot chocolate down stairs again, and be persuaded to buy her all manner of crap from the shop, and let her paint my nails again, and do drawings, and paintings, and play board games, and play angry birds, and wander down corridors and get the giggles and run away when someone comes.

I get how ill she is, I can see it in her. But I do also believe she has some fight. x

Meglet · 11/06/2012 23:08

Willing and praying that Aillidh pulls through. From what I've read of your posts expat you are a tough cookie and I know your wonderful daughter has got that in her too. Hang in there. x

sybilfaulty · 11/06/2012 23:19

Sorry things are so tough. Praying for your lovely daughter and all the family. God bless

LemonTurd · 11/06/2012 23:29

I will say a prayer for Aillidh tonight. I watched the video link posted earlier on the thread. Glad I did (although heartbreaking to watch), now I can picture Aillidh's face and know how to pronounce her name.

So sorry you and your daughter are going through this :(

mynaughtylittlesister · 11/06/2012 23:37

My thoughts are with you and your family xx