Prayers for Aillidh.

[chipmonkey]

Just wanted to start a prayer thread for expat's little girl, Ailidh, who has been very ill with leukaemia. Just wanted to show our support and pray that her treatment works and that she is back in action very, very soon!

I don't have the words to comfort.
But I know I would have made the same decision you did. Please don't blame yourself.
I am praying for your precious girl, you and all your family who must be in agony right now.
X

Ive just seen this, didnt know your daughter was so poorly but tonight i am going to pray for your miracle like all the other mumsnetters. Love to all x

Oh Expat,please don't blame yourself X

Cancer is a bastard

"I should have put my faith in God"

You did, you still can, and we all will too.

Expat - there's no mother on here that wouldn't have taken the transplant. Very little to choose in that choice.

I believe in God. I believe in miracles. I know that sometimes they don't look as we think they will but they happen. I'm praying for a miracle for you. I have faith. Hold on.

expat don't blame yourself, really really don't.

x

God expects us to ue all means that modern medicine can provide. You did. You did the right thing.
I am praying for you and for Ailidh.

Everything I write is just wrong. I wish there was something I could write. Still thinking, hoping and praying.

Expat, this is not your fault. Cancer is such a fucking bastard disease, you did what you thought was best for your child, just like we all would have done in the same circumstances.

After DH had his mononucleal treatment for lymphoma (which was so far advanced it presented as leukemia) it wiped out his entire immune system and made him radioactive. I couldn't be in the room as him for more than 20 minutes to begin with in case he damaged my internal organs, he was that radioactive. Without an immune system when he was finally allowed home he contracted everything going, the worst was shingles, I have never seen anyone in such pain and I never hope to again. I had some terrible times thinking that he was going to die of the side effects of the treatment.

But he got better, having been given NO chance of survival before the experimental treatment. He's still here now, still in remission. Miracles do happen, and I am praying that you will have one for Aillidh.

Sending you my love and virtual hugs. Don't blame yourself, please.

Prayers for you, Aillidh and your family.

This may be a long shot, but I wondered if there are any ministers or priests at the hospital who would be able to visit Aillidh on the ward? If they are able to see Aillidh then maybe they'd be willing to stay with her for a short time to give you a break - I'd expect that any ministers or priests working at Yorkhill would be good with kids. Thinking of you all.

Hoping for a miracle.

Doh. Hospital chaplain - that's the phrase I was looking for.

I think the problem is Ailidh's compromised immune system rather than lack of willing visitors TBH jaffa.

Wishing I could help with your pain, right now,Expat .. you and your daughter are and will be constantly in my mind every minute, and I am praying for your miracle. I hope that everyone with small irritations remembers (as I have tonight) just how unimportant they are. My love to you all.x

Thinking of you Expat - it's impossible for anyone else to conceive of the position you are in.

It's certainly not your fault: a decision had to be made and you made it on the basis of the information you had. Doctors - despite all their experience - don't know, they can't know.

Praying for you.

Holding you all in my thoughts, heart and prayers.

Expat, I just don't have the words to say what I want to. Stay strong, you are all in my thoughts. And of course its not your fault. ((hugs))

Expat, you can still put your trust in God. And there's not a mother in the world who would put their trust in God alone with leukaemia, is there? We have to put our trust in the doctors and trust that God works through them. And if they screw up, we go back to God again. And ask again for a miracle.

Sorry, I wasn't trying to suggest there was a lack of willing visitors. I am sure there are loads of people who want to help. I was just trying to think of people who would be working at the hospital and who may have access to all the wards, even the ones where people are in insolation.

Expat - you made the right decision given the circumstances and the statistics plus the expert opinions of her doctors. Please please do not blame yourself.

I am praying that these are your darkest days and the light is coming

Sorry X posts jaffa. I am tired and a tiny bit emotional.

Cancer is the villain here , not a loving mother who would do anything to take the pain away from her wonderful daughter .

I really really don't have the words that will help you I know that but please know that there are many many of us who are hoping and wishing and praying for you and your gorgeous girl .

The what iffs and maybes are too painful , you made the same decision that we all would have , you are surrounded by people that know more about thus hideous disease than anybody and it is the decision they would have made too .

Cancer is a bastard and I am so sorry that you know this and are going through it .

I just saw her cons in the corridor. 'Has she peed yet?' I said I didn't know because I can't get to her for all the party going on in her room and this was the stupidest decision on top of a mountain of stupid decisions I've made all my life. That I can't walk for having cocked up my life and everyone else's, and that I should never have trusted her but that was all my fault.

Then I walked off.

Anything any if us says just feels so pointless and useless but we are here .

I know you don't want a break but I wish you could both have one .

Expat what are they telling you? Can you talk to someone, briefly, who will just listen?