Prayers for Aillidh.

[chipmonkey]

Just wanted to start a prayer thread for expat's little girl, Ailidh, who has been very ill with leukaemia. Just wanted to show our support and pray that her treatment works and that she is back in action very, very soon!

I would have made exactly the same decision as you. I know that doesn't help, but it's true.

There's another patient's mum about here, they are debating transplant because, as she says, 'It's trading one set of problems for another.'

She was right.

Expat no, this is not happening because you made the wrong decision. You didn't have a choice. Not a real one.
I know this is true.
You had to do this.
It was her only chance.
X

Expat you could not have made any other decision. Trusting in God is one thing but we trust in medical science too. If it wasn't for medical science she would have had NO chance.

You did what you had to do. You had to give her every chance. And yes you relied on statistics but what other information would you rely on? Statistics are based on fact.

By an impossible position I mean if you did not you would be wondering what if...

Do not blame yourself....

She had a 20% chance, MrsD. Now it's nil. That was a choice. A wrong decision.

I told the echo lady to tell these damn doctors just to stay out. I'm weary to my marrow of their bad news.

And Dr Dementor. The next time she pulls me into a room down the hall like a naughty school child and tries to sit me down with any of these nurses sitting guard I swear to God I will walk out and tell her to send all her news through someone who can speak to me one on one like an adult or go to hell.

Expat-have the doctors actually told you she now has no chance of recovery?

Expat I am praying for you and for Ailidh.

They have told me she is not engrafting.

Well, fuckadoodledoo. Can't give her her own stem cells back because she's too weak to take conditioning chemo.

So that means the square root of FA.

Sweetheart 20% is nothing. Not in this horrible world of childhood cancer we inhabit.
You didn't blithely sign a bit of paper.
You are trying to save your daughter.
She is so sick it's hard to see that she will ever be well but you know they can come back from that place.
This is not your fault.
It's cancer. Fucking cancer.
X

It'll be a miracle if this engrafts.

It is not your fault.
I know, I really know how and why you feel it is.
But it's not.
C

then I continue to pray for that miracle.

Expat, you made a choice to give your DD the chance of cure. Yes, you may have been blinded by stats, but you still gave her the chance.
I am holding you in my thoughts and my DD and her church are praying for you.

Oh expat

Do not blame yourself, I would've done exactly the same as you. You are doing the best for your daughter, my thoughts and prayers are with you both x

I will keep hoping for a miracle-anything to stop her needing any more of the bastarding chemo-bastard stuff.

How long does it usually take to 'take'?

expat
Its not your fault

She has all of MN praying and hoping for a miracle. You did what you thought was best, you have to remember that x

Expat none of this is your fault. You want what you think is best for her.

I am praying hard. Praying 2 tines a day for you. Just reading the posts from you have made me cry because alldih doesn't deserve this.

(((((((hugs)))))))

Please please don't blame yourself. As everyone else has said you did what you thought was right at the time, there is no way you would not of. There is no point regretting it as you did it because it WAS the right thing to do at the time. No doubt about that. I'd take an 80% chance over a 20% chance every time. I'm rambling I'm afraid because I feel so strongly about you not taking any guilt on board. I'm terrible for going over and over things again after the event but it gets me no where as at the time I did what I thought was best. My dad always tells me the only bad decision is no decision. Please don't waste your precious energy on regrets, use it on willing your beautiful girl better. I'm willing a miracle for you, and if you need anything else I will do my best to get you that too. Don't be hard on yourself it will not get you anywhere, and no one else thinks you did anything but the best for your daughter.xxx

Praying for Ailidh, expat & family. xxx

Expat this is the first time I have posted here but I have lurked and hoped and prayed for Aillidh. You MUST NOT think that any of this is your fault, any of it. You made the only decision you could with the knowledge you had available at the time. You have not done anything wrong. You are a Mum, you did what you thought was best for your Daughter. You cannot predict the future, no one can :(

I am disgusted that there is no play specialist :(

thinking of you all x

We are all praying and hoping for a miracle,I've asked all the people who pray that I know,to pray for her,and I know they will.

You gave her the best chance you could.

None of this,not a single bit of it,is your fault.