Prayers for Aillidh.

[chipmonkey]

Just wanted to start a prayer thread for expat's little girl, Ailidh, who has been very ill with leukaemia. Just wanted to show our support and pray that her treatment works and that she is back in action very, very soon!

I am sure you made the decision that was right at the time. You cannot torture yourself with the might-have-beens. You do not know what would have happened differently if you'd made a different choice, and percentages do not help you to know that.

Please do not keep blaming yourself.

I am keeping you and her and your family in my prayers.

Oh Expat, I am so sorry that Aillidh is so poorly still.

Please know that none of this is your fault.

We'll all keep praying for a miracle x

No, I didn't make the right decision because my judgement was impaired. Instead I was swayed and backed into a corner when I was vulnerable.

And she's paying the price.

This is awful,it makes us all feel so helpless.I dont do prayers but if there is a god, please help Expats daughter to get well.

I know you will blame yourself-when you are staring into the abyss it would be hard not to. But of course you ARE NOT TO BLAME-THE BASTARD DISEASE IS.

I only hope now that you will be granted a miracle and if not that you perhaps get some peace by taking her home.

Prayers for your beautiful girl. Be kind to yourself expat.

It is not your fault. It is the cancer. Please be kind to yourself.

Please try to not blame yourself. You did what you thought was right. It's that stupid horrible disease and you're doing all you can to help her.

Thinking of you.

I'm so sorry she, you and all of your family are going through this awful time. You are in my thoughts and those of so many other people. Please try not to keep blaming yourself, it really is a sneaky horrible fucker of a disease.

Expat, I am just so sorry. I can't imagine your pain. I honestly think most of us would have made the same decision.

Hoping and praying for you here.

Praying to St Peregrine and St Anne for you and your lovely girl. It isn't your fault at all, please be kind to yourself.

I will ask my SIL, who is a nun, to get her entire convent to pray for her.

IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. I would have done exactly the same.

Oh Expat. I am so sorry she is still so poorly. Please, please God the graft will take.

Please don't blame yourself. You did what any one of us would do given the information you had. We would all have done the same.

Praying hard here for you both.

I wish there was more we could do.

You had an impossible choice and you did your best I hope they come up with a plan for her to give her a chance to get better.

Now her potassium is too high and she's on a heart trace and nebuliser that makes her freezing cold and she spiked again.

It would have been better if we'd just stayed at home and taken teh 20%.

The convent are now praying for her 6 times per day.

I will always blame myself for going through with this.

You cannot blame yourself, you were put in an impossible position.

My heart goes out for you.

Thinking of you all xxxx

It wasn't an impossible situation. It was statistics. Those are information, not confirmation, but I went with the scare stories because I was vulnerable and weak. I will never, EVER trust these people again as long as I live.

If you hadn't you would always have wondered what if expat. You did your best.

You didn't act alone, you acted with the best medical advice. You too are a victim, you are suffering yourself in soooo many ways.

It is beyond any human to suffer what you are and make such complex decisions, that is why you need the medical and support staff to advocate for you.

It may be your signature on that dotted line but you cannot take all the blame if the treatment doesn't work, just as you can't take all the credit if it does work.

If you hadn't gone through with it then you'd probably be kicking yourself for not doing it.

What are the doctors saying now? Is this what they expected or worse?

Please, Please, Please, Please Expat, do NOT blame yourself.
You know you would never,ever do anything that wasn't in your DD's best interest. Your decision was that the treatment was in her best interest, therefore you are NOT to blame. You can not go through life with this hanging over you. Just concentrate on your DD and don't think about who is or isn't to blame. It really won't help her, or you.

Will be thinking of you all.

I should have put my faith in God instead of these people.