Christian prayer thread- Easter on the way

[blackeyedsusan]

All welcome to join

Here is a list of all those who popped in or were regulars on the last thread. I hope I have not missed anyone!!

Amberlight- being treated for breast cancer. side effects may damage her heart.
Beatrice Primrose and cupoftea poorly baby and support for the family
Bluetinkerbell - ttc after losing the beloved Sterre during her second trimester
CaptainDippy- busy busy busy
Chairofthebored -dh has ms and ttc number1
Doodlealley -popped in to ask for prayer re breast cancer.
DutchOma- dh has a lung disease requiring regular trips to hospital/drs and lots of rest
Expat's dd suffering from leukaemia
Fink- recent single parent- husband left
FriendofDorothy- ttc -appointment soon. poorly cat.
Gingercurl - things are stressful at home, studying, high blood pressure
Issypeach - work situation insecure for h and Issy. Prayer requested for the dcs one of whom has gone awol and the other at uni
Jaffacakes ... when is/was your due date?
Jugglingwithsnowballs-job applications to work 1 to 1 with children
Lostmywellies - recently returned to the uk, currently freezing due to heating problems. frriendships for dd and ds to settle into nursery
Madhairday - reoccuring lung infections, dd with psoriasis/partial hearing and unhelpful school
MaryB - work and relationships at church. difficult situations socially for dc's
Notevenamousie - curently undergoing treatment as an inpatient. recently lost her mum.
PositiveAttitude- soon to be working abroad for 2 years. prayer also for current work situation and 3 jobs! (eek) pray for protection and continuing recovery of dd3 just out of hospital and battles for dla
SESthebrave -prayer for husbands stessful job situation and high blood pressure. pray for her quadraplegic friend suffering from pressure sores
Springydaffs-prayer for the truth to be known and a reconciliation with family
SweetestThing- just got the all clear from cancer and officially in remission. however, still has to deal with the after effects of surgery.
Teaandcakesplease - single parent to 2 young children. unsupportive parents re ds "being a toddler." prayer for new reliable friends.
Tuo -dd1 and dh to be more positive about her faith
Weegie atypical variant Guillain Barre syndrome has left her with no sensation in her legs below the knees or arms below the elbows, including hands and feet and the lower part of her face. she can do practically nothing for herself.
Welshcerys- family
ZipidiSoozi- things aren't so easy at the moment. we would love to hear from you.
and finally (I hope)
Blackeyedsusan - mad as a hatter! single parent to 2 youngish children, separated after dv. pray for friends and a new church. ds's behaviour and toddler diarrhoea. dd, niggling health problems.

will pray mary. it is horrible to be isolated like that. has she got any friends out of school? they can be a lifeline.

Hmm, seems it's exercise/stress-caused Atrial Fibrillation, which is treatable long term...taking monitor back on Monday and will see what the consultant says. It did it again today on a long walk so at least he can see what it looks like.

Much prayer for all, and especially for your DD, Mary...

She doesn't really have any friends outside of school, other than ones she sees sporadically (due to a long school day). So what goes on at school is so important. Not only that the main protagonist lives in our village so impacts on village life too...

have you checked out her social networking pages? it may be that the bully is also bullying there and dd hasn't told you.

i have been sending up little prayers since I saw your post.

it is a tough situation for her to be in. I hope that the school is responsive.

She isn't on any social networking pages, thankfully. Having said that, the bully is posting stuff on FB which we've not seen, but has been seen by another girl we know, and probably many others too.

you can ask the school to look into cyber bullying.

Mary, praying for your dd. It's one of the hardest thing when your child is being isolated this way. DD had this at her last school and I just felt helpless. Lots of prayers, let us know how she is.

Amber, poor you. My mum has AF and it can be horrible, but it's well treated with pills now, she did have an op to set it back but it failed. Praying for you.

Blue and I had an amazing day yesterday in London at the NW women's day. Wonderful worship and teaching, and caught up with some lovely friends too. Feel much more energised and got through the day absolutely fine. Knackered today, though, and dh has gone off now to Sudan, so feeling a little sad. Please pray for his journey and for his whole trip. I will miss him.

I hope that you don't mind me wading in but I could really do with some prayers and some of your wisdom.

I have 3 young children and have been married to DH for 8 years. I'm not very well this week and the youngest of the three children is causing me to be sleep deprived so I'm not feeling on top form.

DH and I have had some problems between us so we are doing the marriage course and tonight is the night when we are supposed to be doing the homework for week 4 which is all about forgiveness. The thing is, I really don't feel like I can forgive DH yet.

About six weeks ago, I found out that DH was in the early stages of having an affair (I found a secret phone with lots of explicit and intimate text messages and plans to meet for sex). About two weeks after that, I discovered that DH had worked us into £20,000 of debt and his solution to the problem was for me to get a loan to cover off all of his debt and make it more manageable (I didn't do that). I want to get to a stage where I feel like I can start to forgive him. I understand that forgiveness is not a feeling, but a decision that I have to make. I don't feel like making that decision today. I know that I can't demand that he changes but I don't want to forgive him unless his supposed guilt turns into some day-to-day changes that show he still loves me rather than puts up with me. I am fed up of being the one to try and change and being the one who is putting in effort to show love even when I'm really hurting.

It feels like our marriage will end if I can't forgive DH tonight. I know that we can't go on like this.

Oh my dear, that is a huge problem and not one that can be solved by someone on the internet.
As far as I can see it there are several problems:

1. Your husband has been unfaithful to his wedding vows.
2. He has run up a terrible debt. £20.000 is not cat's pee.

These are both things that need dealing with in a bit of a different way to "I forgive you". You are quite right to think that this can not happen tonight, not without a lot of thinking about and probably not without discussing the matter with whoever is leading this course.

As far as the debt is concerned, you need to find Christians against Poverty or some organisation like that.

You cannot possibly be expected to deal with this all on your own, you need real life help and support where you are.

Thanks for your reply DutchOma.

I wish that we could have some real life help. There is a CAP money course starting soon near us but DH refuses to go because we don't need it as "we don't have a problem". As for the marriage course, we aren't on a course, we are just doing it ourselves using the DVD and workbooks because there wasn't one running here before September. We've had some other support but (from my point of view) that consisted of telling me that it is unerstandable that DH was unfaithful if his emotional needs weren't being met and "what did you expect would happen"? Never mind the fact that I had unmet emotional needs and chose to stay faithful and try harder. DH is prominent within our church so only my best friend and her husband know what's happened. I want to stand a chance of re-building our life without the added pressure of what other people are thinking.

So much so wrong. All I can say is: have a cup of tea and an early night.
Things might look better in the morning. A DVD and a couple of books are not going to deal with this. Nor, in fairness, is the CAP money course, I've seen that and it is very basic.
Maybe, in time you can rebuild the relationship. But just at the moment, when you are suffering from sleeplessness and having to deal with two other children it is no time to deal with any issues, except how to get yourself into a frame of mind where you see clearly.

LoveAndPrayers I'm a Christian and my H had an affair. So I can truly sympathise. Message me if I can help. I help at the HTB Divorce and Separation Recovery Course London and a book from that, which is often recommended is R T Kendall's Total Forgiveness. Shirley Glass's book Not Just Friends is a must I would say as well. The Marriage Course is not set up to help people work through things that are this troubled. You need to work through the deeper issues. Much love to you and I am praying for you x

oh heck lap. that is a big ask. he can not demand that you forgive though, and neither can anyone else. something so large takes time to heal and be forgiven; you can't just write off something like marital infedelity with a I forgive you. what is he doing to prove to you that he is sorrry? he does not seem to acknowledge that he has a problem with debt. you definitely need some external advice. the what do you think would happen comments are outrageous. that is abdicating his responsibility for his actions. if it is you friend who is saying what do you think would happen, i think that you need some other support. good luck

well it is just as well that I had turned off the computer last night before I went to remove the washing. the machine, just over a year old, has broken. I could howl and last night I was cursing and turning the air blue. I have checked the filter and cleaned it out as best as I could but I think the pump might be broken. I now have the task of clearing out the undersink cupboard and quite a lot of odds and ends frrom the kitchen so that I can get an engineer in. got to find the numberr too. I have a couple of loads of washing soaking in the bath at present which will need to be rinsed, wrung and drip dry over the bath. ds has 3 days of uniform only so therre needs to be a constant washing routine. throw in the toddle diarhoea and wetting and we could be in trouble. I think I will be going to my mums soon anyway so may take a whole load of washing there (several loads probably) it feels morre than I can deal with right now. I do not have a neighbour available to let the engineer in if we are going to school as she is in hospital. bugger.

Buy a pump off espares and do it yourself BES

Gosh LAP - I can't really add to what these wise ladies have said, but certainly agree that simply saying 'I forgive' isn't enough in this situation, it would be patching over a deep wound with a small plaster and he needs to be doing more to prove he is deeply sorry for breaking his vows. I think you need more RL support also. You could post in the relationships section, people have some great advice over there but would also probably be pretty harsh on him....however, it's obvious that this is about more than forgiveness, and forgiveness can't really happen until more has been worked through between you....such a hard situation, and that he is a 'prominent member of church' - heck. Horrible stuff - I'm so sorry he has subjected you to this :( Whatever he says, it is NOT your fault, you mustn't take it on yourself - he is the one who decided to go and embark on an affair - if he tries to pin it on you for emotional difficulties he is ,... .

Wish I could say more to help - but please seek some RL support.

prayers.

LAP, Jesus didn't take one look at the moneylenders in the Temple and say he forgave them...he got out a very large whip and drove them out.

Sometimes it's absolutely the right thing to be totally utterly firm about what is acceptable and what isn't.
Him saying you two don't have a problem is utter fantasy by him...and fantasy is where he's been living, too. An affair, spending your cash without your permission, expecting you to bail him out....my goodness me no. Just no. He has some very serious growing up to do.

None of this means you have to hate, or throw him out. But neither does it mean that it's up to you to do 100% of the work to fix this. It was his decision to play away, and his decision to flash the cash about...and trust can only come back when he realises this, and is truly repentant, and never ever intends to do it again.
It's a long long road ahead of you both. Much prayer...

LAP - so sorry this is happening to you. amber is right - if something is so wrong, you need to say so. And racking up that amount of debt is. CAP, I agree with DO, is good, supportive, helpful but pretty basic at the introductory level. There are, I'm sure you know, a number of debt advisory agencies, including CAP, who don't charge a fee and who can take over the hassle (and pain) of dealing with creditors - they operate in different ways but perhaps you and DH need to hand over to them at some point. The legal and money section on MN might be worth a visit.

Hadn't been to church for quite a while. Went today and during the silent prayer time, thought about and prayed for all on this thread - and thanked God for MN. Catching up with this thread this evening and will pray again -

Could I ask for some praying/supportive thoughts? DH found a very old 5 year diary today as we were clearing the garage. Thought I'd lost it and don't think I've read it for very many years. Kept it at boarding school. The homesickness and unhappiness of it all comes through every page, lots of references to crying. Then I saw an entry about a visit from my parents, who lived abroad - it mentioned my being told off by my mum when I said I didn't want the visit to end and being 'hit' by my dad. I don't remember my parents in that way - they're no longer alive - but I wouldn't have made this up or exaggerated. Just feel so sad right now. Wish DH hadn't found it! Want to hug that awkward, unhappy teenager that's now me! Perhaps best to shrug it all aside - generally I have but this has awakened difficult memories. Prayer, please, for some peace for me - and reconciliation with my parents with whom I'm feeling a bit cheesed off right now. I can cope with the school stuff - lots of us have had experiences like that - but it's harder to think that my Mum and Dad didn't care. I think that really they did - certainly there seemed to be a lot of love as I grew up. Oh, I don't know anymore!

Anyway, back to you all - peaceful evening and brighter days ahead for people in difficulty or pain today.

Hello, I've never posted here before but feel desperate for the strength in prayer from as many sources as possible.

Can I ask for prayers for my brother and sister-in-laws twin babies. Sister-in-law is 28 weeks pg and one of the twins hasn't grown for 3 weeks. Doctors are very pessimistic for it's survival, and therefore the bigger twins too. They were conceived after many years of trying and four IVF attempts, and the thought of losing them now is something none of us can contemplate.

I will be adding LAP to my prayers tonight, and hoping your DH can begin to be open with you in asking for real help x

Praying Ballstoit

ballstoit, I'm so glad you came on here to ask for prayer. May you feel the peace of the Lord around you whatever happens to your brother and sister-in-law and the darling babies. 28 weeks is an awkward time, especially for twins and even more especially because it was so hard to conceive them.
May the Lord bless and protect you all, especially the littler twin.
Much love.

ballstoit - prayers for your DB, SIL and their DTs. I'm really pleased you found our thread.

LAP - prayers for you and your DH. The others have been very wise and supportive. The only thing I would add around forgiveness is that yes, this is a much bigger issue than just you needing to forgive him. How has DH tried to address the issues and get things right? I beat myself up when I was at uni as I couldn't forgive and ex-boyfriend who pulled a knife out on me at about 10pm one night on the street outside my house. There are some things though that you can't just flick the switch and forgive. In the beginning I didn't want to forgive him but eventually I got to the stage where I wanted to want to forgive IYKWIM and used that as my prayer.
As for this evening, prayers that you will start to make further steps forwards (even if v small at this stage).

Issy - finding that diary must have shaken you. Draw comfort from the fact that what was written in there hasn't stuck with you and despite that, you have happy memories and are in a good place now.

BES - our washing machine broke down a couple of weeks ago and I was very thankful to be able to use my mum's a couple of times until our situation was sorted. Hope your machine gets sorted quickly and at minimal expense.

MHD - prayers of thanks for your NW day. Also for your time with DH away and a smooth trip for him.

Mary - prayers for your DD. Really tough situation. Do you think you will be able to get more support from the school?

Prayers of thanks and support for all on this thread

LAP - forgiveness takes time - a long time, not one night. I sincerely hope and pray you'll get external help and support, especially from within your church. Your DH obviously needs helps from his superiors IMO.

Prayers for all - especially the twins.
WW X

Echoing prayers others have written - very helpful for someone who often can't find the words to read other people's prayers for those in need. Praying especially for the twins; and for LAP - wow. Utterly horrendous. Hope the marriage course tells you some useful things about forgiveness for when you get to that stage - but absolutely don't rush it. He's caused a huge breach of trust with immense collateral damage; in your position, I would probably have slung him out - not to say that you should, but to point out how well you're doing already. This patience with working things out and willingness to keep trying must be a form of forgiveness, surely? Praying that his eyes are opened to the enormity of what he's done, and also that you find the support that you will need to draw on over the coming days and weeks.

SES, how are things in your house this weekend?

Oh thanks for asking Lost !
All fine and pleasant. DH almost chirpy in fact! No mention from either of us about Dubai though
For the moment I'm going to leave it but in a couple of month's time I think it'll be worth bringing it up for the "if you get another offer what would we do in theory" conversation.