I am trying to believe in God...but I am failing!

[AlwaysMeanWellOftenWrong]

I have started to go to church with my two children.

I am trying to open my mind and my heart and to let myself believe, but I can't.

I believe in the Christian way of life and I want to learn more about how to live as God wishes. I understand that God makes his feelings known to us through the Bible.

So, I read the first few lines of the Bible. After watching Stephen Hawking's talk about the Big Bang and other science programs that are on the telly at the moment - I am really struggling to accept it as God's word - literally anyway.

How can I get past this and get close to God, feel his love and truly believe?

I feel like such a hypocrite. Luckily, I know that God will forgive me if he does in fact exist, for I am truly sorry that I am so human that I don't believe.

Annie - it's just as annoying for christians! A christian has a relationship with God and follows Christ's teachings. The behaviour / morals labelled as 'christian' is just being good. That should be expected of the rest of society too!

I would be very wary of the Alpha course.

For example ...

"The main aim of the Alpha course is to convert groups of people to evangelical Christianity within ten weeks, a kind of fast-track route to God. It is advertised as a method to ?Discover the meaning of life?. Behind this honourable philosophical guise, the Alpha course is in fact an evangelical group designed to convert rather than discuss."

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lowrib - glad you said that. I've heard rather mixed opinions of it, shall we say.

I think you should follow the approach of the ancient philosophers and enjoy the journey of questioning. Nothing this important should be rushed.

Ah! A double bluff! Are you inwardly self assured also or is the self assuredness a double bluff in itself? I mean, does the belief that you are right all the time conceal any doubt at all?

Just wondering aloud to you.

I just read this link (not very in-depth but interesting anyhow) perhaps: Generation Y

I still don't personally see the need for religious guidance if one is a self assured person with good self esteem and a strong moral code, but then maybe you doubt your lack of doubt? (The double bluff again!)

Perhaps philosophy would be as useful and comforting to you as religion, without the need to assuage your sense of hypocrisy?

Quite right Toddlerama! It should be called "being a decent human being", not "being Christian".

My family are Christian, I converted to Judaism (and it sure is interesting looking at 'your' old religion from the outside, I can tell you!)

Last time my mum and brother were over, my brother was telling us about how he had given some money to a homeless person. And they were talking about how it was "doing the Christian thing". I really had to bite my tongue!!

I am very agnostic btw. I'm a sciency person, love science actually. But I realise that it doesn't have all the answers.

No matter what anyone says, the origins of the universe and the nature of reality are up for grabs. Could be creator, could be anything basically (hence agnostic rather than atheist).

Let's face it, we know nothing, believe in anything that gets you through the day.

Thanks newbeliever.

And Speedy - I had considered that there must be others at the church who just go, but don't actually believe in God.

Annie - the way I mean it is a good moral life and one way I see of getting guidance on how to be a good person, one way out of many including other religions, just being a good person and looking inside yourself etc., is to follow the teachings of a church. I am sure there are Christians who do think themselves as better than others, just like there will be Jews, people without faith who think like that also.

I am not one who thinks the only way to live a good life is by following the Bible, but to me, it is a good start and source of guidance. I just wish I actually believed in the fundamental aspect - ie. God!

lowrib I used to run Alpha courses and my experience has been that the 10 weeks are very much the start of a journey. It is laughable to say that people convert in 10 weeks! And it certainly is question. We were usually sometimes completely derailed from the plan by questions and discussion and that is a good thing! Enduring friendships come out of groups with a common goal like that and I think that's the most important step to 'finding' God. Look for Him in others.

hobbgoblin - my mind is getting a bit tired now so I am not on form to answer your questions with the vigour and depth they deserve; they have indeed caused me to look harder at myself and my views both out and in.

I think I teeter on the edge of being totally self assured, but feel the need to rein myself in by adding a little bit of false doubt in order to better balance myself. Mainly so I stay self assured and not in love with myself!

I come across as confident, as I am extroverted, but I force myself to doubt my own self assuredness after encounters to 'check' myself against how I appear!

question based, I mean.

Coinoperatedgirl - I love science. The reason I can hope to believe in God, is that the matter we see all around us exists. Therefore, why could a God not exist? Each is so outstanding.

toddlerama do you not think that the alpha course misrepresents itself? Its aim is to convert, but it advertises itself as if it's a philosophy discussion group.
That's misleading (i.e. lying) to people surely?

I'm sorry but the alpha course practices come across as distinctly dodgy IMO.

And I'm definitely not keen on their anti-gay stance.

This is an insightful article:

Jon Ronson's experiences on the alpha course

Here's an excerpt:

""I was talking to a homosexual friend," says Tony, "and he said that ever since he was a child he found himself attracted to other boys. So why does the church think he's committing a sin? Are you going to Hell if you commit a sexual act that is completely normal to you? That seems a bit unfair, doesn't it?" There is a murmur of agreement from the group.

"First of all," says Nicky [Nicky Gumbel is the original developer of the Alpha course], "I have many wonderful homosexual friends. There's even an Alpha for gays running in Beverly Hills! Really! I think it's marvellous! But if a paedophile said, 'Ever since I was a child I found myself attracted to children', we wouldn't say that that was normal, would we?" A small gasp. "Now, I am not for a moment comparing homosexuals with paedophiles, but the Bible makes it very clear that sex outside marriage, including homosexual sex, is, unfortunately, a sin." He says he wishes it wasn't so, but the Bible makes it clear that gay people need to be healed.

"Although I strongly advise you not to say the word 'healed' to them," he quickly adds. "They hate that word."

I'm sorry but I don't trust anything founded by someone with such bigoted - and IMO unChristian - attitudes.

Hobbgoblin - what do you mean when you talk of religion as being 'comforting'? Am intrigued, as it's not a word that I would use.

'comforting' - I would hazard a guess that to some it is comforting because - there is always someone who loves you and forgives you - that's a start. That would comfort me, if I believed it. As it is, I have to love myself and forgive myself. Not sure which is easier really!

In my opinion, you are failing because you have been educated.

Hi Always, I know what you mean. I've found that one simply has to choose. It's completely illogical in so many ways so it just ended up being a choice for me. It would be lovely to have a call but I don't suppose everyone does.

Colditz there are many educated Christians. They are not all stupid.

This is horrible I know but I read the thread title as "I'm trying to believe in God but I'm falling" :o

Lowrib, Nicky Gumbel has faults like the rest of us...he's also apparently very shy and comes across extremely badly in public speaking. But despite his views on homosexuality, like the rest of us he's not all bad.

Always - I see what you mean re comfort, though I tend to see my faith more in terms of challenge - challenging the way I think and behave, challenging me to thrive, to transform myself into the absolute best person that I can be. At the moment I am practising genuinely appreciating the many, many good things in my life, and realising how Western culture breeds dissatisfaction and therefore misery. All for what? To sell us more stuff. Pah! So for me that's an example of how my faith is about challenge.

No, I don't think Christians are stupid at 6all^ ... but I think many of them simply must be under-educated.

How can you believe the bible when you have seen paleantologist's digs? When you have seen mummies that have been carbon dated back to 6000bc - does the bible not teach that there was nothing before 4004 years BC - how can you reconcile that? When you have touched dinosaur bones, when you have seen the duck billed platypus (honestly, if someone invented that, what were they thinking?), when people have been into space and found that the world is round, and more ... that there are other worlds than these? When you can look at the bones of our ancesters (that the bible says never existed) and almost watch the evolution of man?

How can you reconcile that knowledge with a book that tells you that the world was made from clay, like Plasticine? And that jesus was crucified, but he 'got better'?

It takes more than faith, it takes a complete suspension of reality and the evidence of our senses!

I think many Christians are very well educated. It does take faith, that's the point. A jolly lot

I'm a card carrying Christian and can't understand how anyone cannot believe in God. To me it's the obvious answer. Yes I am very well educated in a number of disciplines including Theology. To me Jesus was (and is) brilliant! In the Bible he comes out with some incredible stuff that even by today's standards is very very good!

OP you say you tried to read the first few lines of the Bible... big mistake! Start by reading some of the easier stuff first, with a basic commentary so you understand the context. There are some very intelligent Christians out there... search them out, I guarantee it will be worth it!

I don't believe in a 6 day creation, I veer towards believing in evolution, and don't have a problem that the Bible doesn't mention dinasaurs... why should it, the humans who wrote the Bible never had any reason to believe in dinasaurs! Doesn't mean they didn't exist or that the Bible is inaccurate!

Oh, and I really don't have a problem with same sex marriage though would agree that the Bible teaches against promiscuity.

OP please don't give up searching...

OP I get the impression that you do believe in God. If you didn't you wouldn't be feeling guilty for not believing in him.

I don't believe in God as represented in Christianity. I truly don't. He simply doesn't exist. It's all a big fat made up story that has been used and abused by some very horrid and powerful people over the years. BUT... I was so brainwashed as a child that even saying that in my head has me checking over my shoulder for thundebolts.