Not enjoying dog ownership when to call it a day ?

[MillyMollyMoo]

Long story short, did a bit of research into what dog to get as I cannot stand hair, so thought we were buying a labradoddle.
Turns out he's all Lab and no Doddle, there are fine blonde hairs everywhere, could be worse but I hate it.
Combined with the fact that the kids begged for him and now ignore him, he chases the cats around the house and jumps fences to shit in next doors garden all in all I've had enough.
Is this going to get better or do I rehome him whilst he still has the cute little dog factor ?

I saw a man walking a Labradoodle in the park yesterday. We chatted for a moment about the dog, and I asked him if it was true they don't shed. He said yes, but they must be third generation labradoodles (or more) to be non-shedding dogs.

Fwiw.......

F3 doodles, eh?

Presumably they don't go as fast as the F1 doodles?

Reading this thread with great interest as we are considering getting a dog - think I'll start another thread though as I don;t think this is the right place to post.

OP, it does sound though you bought the dog on a whim (though it is very easy to misintterpret on emails, posts etc) but I do think you are doing the right thing by admitting that you got it wrong and trying to find the dog a new home.

You've had lots of (what sounds) like good advice on here, hope it all works out.

And the lesson for the children is pets are harder work than you think they're going to be so think long and hard before you get one!

Sandcastles - why are you being so harsh and unpleasant to the OP? She honestly thought she could keep and care for a dog, and thought she had chosen a breed that would minimise problems with shedding (I assume this was an issue she was worried about prior to getting the dog).

She didn't know ahead of time how much hard work is involved in raising a dog - I can empathise with that - we have a 5.5 month old chocolate lab, and it is much harder work than I was expecting. Even though dh had dogs throughout his childhood, and we discussed it a lot before making the decision to get a puppy, I still was not prepared for how it changed my life. However, we had waited until the dses were older, and until dh was in a job where his commute was shorter, so he gets more time with the dog, and so I am getting more help than MMM, so haven't reached the stage that she has.

Neither the OP nor I had a crystal ball - if MMM had had one, she wouldn't have got the dog - but she can't see into the future, so she did get the dog. Now she is being honest and realistic, and wants to do the best for the dog. Surely it is best that the dog is rehomed to a new family that is better able to cope with the demands of owning it than that it remains in a household where its primary caregiver isn't happy about the work involved?

OP - you are doing the right thing by rehoming her, and the other posters on this thread have lots of excellent advice on how best to do this.

One thought, though - might it help if she was given a really good walk by a professional dog walker a few times a week? The dogwalker should be experienced at working with young dogs and would be able to help with teaching the dog to behave on walks, plus the dog would get a big walk and come home nicely tired, and would get to socialise with other dogs, under the control of an experienced person.

Even if you do decide to rehome the dog, this might be worth considering if you end up fostering the dog until it's rehomed - it would be good for the dog, and would give you a break too (and perhaps a chance to get the hoover out and tackle the dog hairs).

It's not an easy job looking after a dog,but she should of looked at lot more into it than just a bit
it is ridulous too say 'i'm with the dog all day and walk the dog but that's not enough for him is it' i mean come on, that statement is the most naive and ridulous thing i have read, like it's the dogs fault, those are the thing's that anger me, and i dont care if people think i am wrong, because my only concern is this helpless dog, that has done nothing wrong but be a dog.

She said she did a bit of research into what breed to get - she did not say that was all the research or consideration she put into getting a dog. Like I said, she didn't have a crystal ball.

At least she's asked for advice here and hasn't just abandoned the dog, or handed it over to just anyone, or given it to the RSPCA to rehome, where it might have been put down if it wasn't rehomed.

I think you are reading a lot more into what she's said than is actually there - you've made some pretty big assumptions (that she got the dog on a whim and is blaming it for the things it's doing) and are now acting as if she's cruelty incarnate based on your assumptions.

Give the poor girl a break - and some credit for doing the right thing for this dog.

You have your opinion i have mine, you feel sorry for her, i feel sorry for the dog, i have no sympathy for people who dont put enough thought into it, and then moan about it being the dog's fault, i hope he finds a good home where he is wanted.

I didnt make assumptions it is what the op said.

Stayingsunnygirl, why?

Because she bought a dog when she cleary doesn't like dogs

Because it sounds like the kids talked her into buying a dog she didn't want & she gave in to shut them up

Because she won't even try to manage it's shedding (with grooming) or it's smell (with washing)

Because she won't spend time on training it not to jump the fence &/or make the fence higher

YET, she won't take it back to the breeder nor will she send it to a rehoming centre

It's sounds like (and she hasn't answered this) that she has barely trained it

It also sounds like the poor thing is left to it's own devices & not interacted with

Animals are NOT disposable, I think she should have done much better research into it & decided if it was something she could take on. But no, much easier to buy the poor thing & then decide you hate it because it does what a dog does, isn't it!

Oh & there is now a thread for someone who no longer wants their kitten.....

The mind boggles! Why take on an animal if you aren't prepared to last the distance with it.

even if yo had bought a labradoodle you are not guaranteed to have a dog that does not shed hair. it all depends on which genes from which parent it inherited! it is a myth to say all labradoodles do not shed as some do. yo should have got a poodle to guarantee this.
i have just read op post and the few at the top and i have to agree that there are so many people out there who do not take into consideration what having a dog actually means! i have a cav pup who to say the least is greedy but i made the decision to have him and no matter that he has torn up the lino in my kitchen he will remain my pet til he departs this earth as he is now part of the family. it is strange how so many people claim they are like having children but hte minute it does not do something that conforms to their perception of the perfect pet they want to shirk all responsibility of the dog.
my advice is if you cant cope wiht a dog rehome it t oa responsible person and dont get another!

Nice

Hope you don't get that angry with your dog, i feel for him even more now hurry up and rehome him, put him out of his misery.

Come on MMM not fair - not everyone has been like that with you - there has been some very good advice on here.

Yeah we give him the odd kick you when we're fed up of him.

she clearly doesnt like dog, this is my hole point, i'm sick of people getting dog's for kid's and are then surpised when the kid's dont bother, ridulous.

Oh do calm down OP. Explain to your kids that the dog is going to Uni or something, take the dog to a local reputable homing place and then send the children regular notes from the dog till they lose interest.
You bought a dog, you regretted it. You are doing the right thing trying to do something responsible about it.
The best thing to do was not start a thread on mumsnet about it!
Hope the morning sickness eases up.

Sorry the "do" in the first sentence sounded very patronizing! Didnt mean it to.

I would love to take him to a rehoming centre and am awaiting a release form from the labradoodle trust, he is going, soon.

Probably best to take a step back from this thread now for your own sake. Youve received some good advice about the labradoodle trust.

thing is, while op is now doing the right thing in rehoming the dog, the right thing would have been to not get the dog in the first place. Clearly the op is not an animal lover, so why agree to get an animal you're not going to love.

And the op's dog aside, mn is full of threads like this "oh I got a dog and he chews/I don't like him/can't cope with him," and the responses that "at least you're admitting it's not working out, try to rehome him," and the rehoming centres are full of such dogs.

If people just thought about what they were getting into in the first place, then they wouldn't end up in positions like this. And sorry, but "well you can't know how much hard work a dog is until you get one," just isn't good enough. If people aren't prepared for the hard work an animal is, then they shouldn't get them in the first place.

I am actually currently in the opposite position - I am under increasing pressure esp from my family to rehome one of my dogs (my current guide dog who is being retired early due to a behavioral issue, but that's a discussion for another thread). He is my dog. He is my ds' dog and he adores him. But there are practical implications as I will have to walk him myself etc and he will require a lot more of that as a pet dog than he does as a guide dog as he gets a lot of his exercise through his work atm so that is an issue I am looking into. But their argument is that I should get rid of him because he's a working dog and will no longer be one, because I'll then have three dogs (even though my first guide dog is now quite old and we realistically are not going to have her for that much longer) etc etc.

But he is still my dog, working or otherwise. And when I take on an animal (be that because I need one to help me or not) then IMO that is for life.

And what message would that send out to my child - when a dog gets past its useful period you get rid of it and get a new one? I don't think so.

Sandcastles - the OP contacted the Labradoodle trust, and posted that she was waiting for a reply - how does that translate to, "...nor will she send it to a rehoming centre..."?

I still think that people are making some pretty sweeping assumptions about the OP, her motivations and her thought processes, and are then treating her unpleasantly as a result.

She has made a mistake in getting the dog - she acknowledges that from the word go, and wants advice on what to do - to me that shows that she does care for the dog and its wellbeing.

And I am not 'feeling sorry for her' - I am empathising with her because I can understand where she's coming from, because, even though we put a lot of thought into getting a dog, and the responsibilities and work involved, and even though dh has had dogs all through his childhood, we weren't prepared for the amount of work involved or for some of the other issues.

But carry on condemning her if that makes you feel good. I am not perfect, and am happy to empathise with the OP.

I just hope that the next time someone on Mumsnet is having similar thoughts, that this thread doesn't put them off asking for advice - if the OP hadn't asked advice here, she might not have found the best option for rehoming the dog via the Labradoodle trust, and might even have handed the dog over to the RSPCA - would that have been better for the dog? I think not.

Of course, the best for the dog would have been for the OP to have been able to see into the future, and to have not got the dog - but that didn't happen, and now the OP is doing the best for the dog in the circumstances.

DH really wanted a labradoodle, about 5 years ago. we have 2 lhasa apsos too, i refused to consider another dog, as i don't have the inclination to walk 2 -3 times a day in all weathers, i have enough to do , and it wold not be fair or right to take on a big active clever dog that needs more stimulation than i could give. our two dogs are old and one on particular is getting frail and ill. it is a massive responsibility and with children too, it is hard work at times.

incidentally, i got mouthed/bitten by a huge labradoodle in epping forest , the owner said they were really strong and hard to control dogs.

Stayingsunny....I believe that she revealed that she was awaiting the release AFTER I posted!

Yes, but she had posted that she had emailed the Trust and was awaiting a reply before you posted.