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Original poster

Really not enjoying our puppy

114 replies

Buda · 07/07/2009 10:09

Please please don't all flame me. I feel bad enough.

Just over two weeks ago we got a lab puppy. She was 11 weeks yesterday. I thought I knew what I was letting myself in for but in reality I had no idea. I hate it all. I hate the smell of the food. I hate the poo in the garden. I hate her jumping up on things. I hate her chewing whatever she can.

Final straw was getting up for a wee at 4.20am and hearing her whine. she is in a crate at night so I ignored her. Heard her moving around in the crate. Tried ignoring. Then I got up to have a look over the balcony (we have a very open plan house). She was out of the crate. Have NO idea how. DH had put her in. Poo and wee everywhere so she had been out for a while.

I put her outside and got DH up to sort mess. I physically can't deal with it.

He said she has to go. Later he said I am obv not happy with having her and that he can;t do it all. Which I totally get. We have DS who is almost 8 and wanted the dog but of course isn't old enough to want to do anything with her. I am afraid I don't think I have the patience to train her even at this stage. I really thought I would. DH says we can't stay the way we are.

Am trying to decide which is best for us all. Keep the dog and hope I start to like it more or rehome her now to somewhere she will be happier. I think she knows how I feel as she is avoiding me today.

I think DS would be upset initially but not for long. DH would be devasted.

I feel awful. All knotted up inside and just generally depressed about it all.

This morning she has been out in the garden a lot and then I called her in for food. She then went out again but then came back in. I was sorting washing and asked DS to watch her but he went outside without telling me and she wee'ed in the house again. So am now pissed off with both her and DS.

I wasn't 100% sure to begin with but DH and DS really wanted a dog and I thought I would fall in love with her. I haven't. I just resent her.

OP posts:

bedlambeast · 18/07/2009 21:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

releasethehounds · 18/07/2009 22:01

Buda - you mentioned feeling similar to having PND. We have had 2 border collies before and now we have a 5 month old bc and I had forgotten how hard having a pup is! When you said that line re: PND I had been thinking exactly the same thing, so don't feel ashamed to say it!

I had PND after having both my DDs (particularly badly after DD1) requiring lengthy medication. Only a couple of weeks' ago I was feeling panicky about the pup and the whole responsibility/hard work thing and I sat and thought "OMG this is how I started to feel before full PND set in". It's very similar so I can understand what you mean.

I found it really difficult for the first few weeks but things are getting a little easier now. I have to admit though that I generally feel more stressed and having the pup has made both DH & I more snappy with each other and the kids. Because we've had adult dogs before I know things will improve eventually, but I just wanted to say don't feel embarrassed or useless because you're not coping - you're not on your own!

Original poster

Buda · 20/07/2009 06:26

Thanks releasethehounds. That is exactly how I felt.

Have managed to sort out a trainer who speaks English and she is coming today. I am feeling better about it all. She is a very cute pup. Although I have just discovered she has eaten the few blueberries that were growing in a pot on the patio!

She is in a crate at night and there are 2 towels in it. Every morning now after she has been out in the garden for a while and been fed she trots back in and gets both towels and drags them to the doorway and leaves them there. Very funny. Not sure if she is airing them or what!

OP posts:

oliviasmama · 20/07/2009 06:53

Really hope things go well for you both today, just had a quick read through your thread.

I have only had rescue dogs, the youngest being 4, mine luckily have already been house trained etc but I rememeber when I was at home my Mum spending hours with our puppies and literally just treating them like you would your babies. They all grew into lovely dogs but it was extremely hard work, a real labour of love.

IMO it was well worth the effort.

Stick with it if you truly feel that you are 100 % committed, if you have any doubts I would ask the breeder if they would consider having her back, no refund of monies, just be happy that the dog would find a truly super home.

Good luck today.

aGalChangedHerName · 20/07/2009 06:55

Glad things are looking up Buda. We are getting our Bichon Frise puppy on the 8th/9th of August,the day or day after we return from our holiday.

I have to say i am really looking forward to it but i know it''ll be really really hard work just the same.

I think you have done really well to keep going in spite of the issues and i hope the trainer can help you with her.

You may end up really loving/enjoying her when she calms down. Hope things go well with the trainer.

bedlambeast · 20/07/2009 19:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

Buda · 21/07/2009 06:02

AGal - thanks so much. It is much better this week. Obv she is still a bit loopy being a puppy but she is very funny and cute with it.

The trainer came this evening to meet Codie and us and all was fine except she said pup is too fat already! So will have to be more strict with food intake. Trainer is busy this week and I am away next week so we will start beginning of August.

bedlambeast - that's ok. No worries!

OP posts:

aGalChangedHerName · 21/07/2009 07:16

Great trainer can come and advise/help. We are picking Molly up on the 8th or 9th of August and the puppy training starts on the 11th lol.

I am taking no chances!! I am a CM and have 4 dc so she needs to be a 'good' dog iyswim?

Update and let me know how it goes with the trainer please? x

Original poster

Buda · 21/07/2009 07:35

Will do aGal. Good luck with yours. You are a glutton for punishement aren't you? 4dcs, a job and now a puppy! Mad!

OP posts:

aGalChangedHerName · 21/07/2009 07:38

Lol yep lots of folk have said that very thing Buda. Met an old fella last night with a Bichon and he was very positive about them. Said it's the best dog he's ever had so fngers crossed ours is a good un too.

LoobyLou82 · 21/07/2009 20:03

Buda

You sound like me three weeks ago. We got a beagle puppy at 8 weeks old. i have two DS one aged 2.5yrs and another 11 month old.

My garden was destroyed my stuff was chewed, the house smelt bad within 3 weeks she had peed on the rug even tho she was not in that room! seh attacked the kids and did a hell of a lot of damage, I had to keep her in one side of the house or in her crate so as not to hrt the kids.

I know puppies chew etc blah blah blah but we had enough i was really miserable and know it was not working. She had to go, one saturday morning she bit me destroyed two cookery books and started on the table. This dog was v.v.v.v bright she could sit, lie down, roll over stay and come all in 30 minutes of training her. I had to call the breeder and ask her to take her back. I was gutted but knew she was still young enough to find a new happy home with no young kids. It was my fault but seriously im not slating you i understand. Minute she left i felt 100 times more relaxed and the bad atmospher lefted. I dont care if im slated for this message but i was like you. I could not cope. I put my hands up and say i was wrong to get her in the first place but i do not regret it nor regret sending her back. If it is an acredited breeder they have to take the pup back to help to rehome. Any good breeder would do this.

Hope this helps x

oliviasmama · 22/07/2009 05:45

Looby - not slating you, think you did exactly the right thing. Tried, failed and admitted defeat but acted responsibly and not only thought of yourselves but the dogs future as well. Good for you and your puppy will not really be any worse off for the experince of having a few weeks with you.

Original poster

Buda · 22/07/2009 06:01

Hi Looby - I agree with oliviasmama - you did the right thing when the pup is young enough to settle in somewhere quite easily.

We still have our puppy and I feel better in general about it but last night she was jumping up on DS in the garden and he is just too young to discipline her so by the time DH realised (after I shouted at him!) that DS was upset DS was in tears and I was furious (PMT week I think!).

Codie is quite clever and just now she was chewing on the fringe of the rug and I told her "no - go get a toy to chew" and she went and got a bone to bring in here and is lying chewing that!

I am looking forward to the training starting. And I am SO looking forward to next week when DS and I go to Dublin and we will be dog-less!

OP posts:

KingCanuteIAm · 22/07/2009 12:29

Buda, why did you call DH to deal with it? If you saw it happening why couldn't you sort it out more quickly?

Original poster

Buda · 22/07/2009 12:34

KingCanute - we had been sitting at the outdoor table and I was clearing it off and was in midst of walking back into house carrying a tray full of dishes - DH was marginally closer but thought DS was messing about - I could tell he was scared and near tears. DH is a bit slow like that!

OP posts:

Bella21 · 22/07/2009 12:36

Can I speak really frankly, please?

Firstly, no point whatsoever telling a dog off for anything unless they are actually in the middle of the act. Otherwise they have cannot connect the reprimand to the deed - they think they are being told off for whatever they are doing at that precise moment, which could be sitting nicely!

Secondly, your life (or at least the next 12 years) is going to be full of stress and aggro with dh if you expect him to deal with all the pup/dog's misdememanours. I completely understand if you're not doggy, but tbh why keep and care for an animal if you are so desperate to get away from it?

Please have a think - for your sake, and for the dog's.

KingCanuteIAm · 22/07/2009 12:37

Ahh I see, funny how we can zone in on a problem within seconds yet it takes dhs several minutes to realise there is a problem, never mind what to do about it!

Bella21 · 22/07/2009 12:39

gotcha - didn't see 'dhs' at first, KC.

Bella's blood sugar is low - lunch calls!

KingCanuteIAm · 22/07/2009 12:40

Bella21 · 22/07/2009 12:40

pmsl at my spelling of misdemeanours, though

Original poster

Buda · 22/07/2009 12:45

Bella - I understand about telling a dog off while she is doing something. She was still doing it!

I wanted DH to deal with it because (1) I had a tray of dinner dishes in my hands and (2) he was laughing as he thought DS was messing about.

I am not really desperate to get away but it will be nice to have a break.

OP posts:

Bella21 · 22/07/2009 14:24

I wasn't criticising you, Buda.

I just feel sorry for you cos it sounds like it's really hard for you & you're trying to keep everyone happy except yourself

Original poster

Buda · 22/07/2009 14:51

It's OK Bella. No worries.

Lol at trying to keep everyone happy except myself - isn't that what we mums do????

DH has always wanted a dog and really loves having her.

DS is and probably always will be any only child so I think having a dog for company for him is nice. And he loves her. I went outside this morning and he had moved one of the sun loungers in to the shade (it is 40 degrees here today) and was lying on it with the dog!

So although it is not my most favourite thing to have ever done at the moment I don't want to pull the plug on it just yet without giving it a proper go with proper training and help.

If after all that it is really not working for me I know that the girl who will take her next month when we are away will probably have her. I am sure that my ambivalence is hard to understand when you are so into dogs but I am not hating it now. I don't feel as bad as I did when I posted first. And I am really looking forwrd to taking her walking. It will get me off my butt and off Mumsnet hopefully!

OP posts:

Bella21 · 22/07/2009 15:55

Will zip it now.

Hope it works out for you, honey.

You can have my 3 too if you really get into it

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