my dog growls at my 21 month old ds

[kaylasmum]

Hi, i recentlyot a cavalier king charles spaniel from my daughter. She got her 6 months ago but then got a staffy puppy who just would'nt leave the cavalier alone. When my daughter bought the cavalier she was 6 years old and it seemed like the previous owner used her for breeding mainly. We get the impression that she may have been mistreated in the past. Anyway i felt sorry for her not getting any peace form the staffy so i told my daughter that i might take her anad that i'd give it a 2 week trial to see how we got on. She is such a good dog, obediant and very loving but the problem is that my ds just won't leave her alone. Talk about " out of the frying pan and into the fire"! My ds does'nt seem to realise that he hurts her, he is too boisterous. We do our best to stop him but its so difficult to wath him every second and he is very quick. Over the past 2 weeks the dog has growled at him about 6 times and i'm really worried that she might bite him. The 2 week trial is up today and i think i might have to give her back to my daughter although ireally don't want to.

Just wondering if anyone thinks its a real possibility that she might bite my ds.

Of course it's a real possibility.

Growling is the dog's (only) way of communicating. She's saying "I don't like this, it's making me unhappy, stop it" and if nobody takes heed of her clear warning and removes the annoying child she will have no other option (because she's a dog and she can't tell your son to bugger off, she can't lock herself in the bathroom and she can't go down the pub) but to bite him.

In some cases this situation could be adapted successfully but to be totally honest with you I don't think you're the right home for her and the responsible thing to do would be to give her back.

In fact, the responsible thing to do would have been for your daughter to have thought a bit longer and harder about it before ditching the older dog but I don't know the circumstances so maybe there are good reasons.

Yes, a real possibility. Please give the dog back before it is too late.

Not a good mix. Yor motives were good but in reality the dog needs a child-free & staffy-free home.

You would hate it & feel very guilty if something did happen, as you would've known it was entirely preventable. Better safe than sorry.

Give the dog back Ds/dog there really is no choice.

I really wish people would think before they buying pets . Try contacting the Dog's Trust, which will find a suitable home.

Yes you definitely should not keep her-not fair on the dog and a very real risk for your DS.

DOnt give the dog back. Staffies and other dogs in the home dont go well together as a little research would have told your daughter...
Please do as the other poster says and give to dogs trust who can find the poor dog a proper home before he gets unfairly labelled a vicious dog.
OF course she might bite your ds but that's your job to keep them separate until he is able to treat an animal properly.

"Staffies and other dogs in the home dont go well together as a little research would have told your daughter" - it's statements like that which cause problems. You cannot generalise about dogs in this way. The breed of the puppy is totally irrelevant. What is relevant is that the older dog has had a questionable life to date, has been shipped from home to home and endured the disruption of a new puppy being brought in, and at 6 years of age is suddenly being expected to tolerate a toddler's incessant pestering.

The OP is being irresponsible, and the OP's daughter has been irresponsible, end of story. The breed of the dogs in question has no bearing on this.

Call Cavalier Rescue or if you tell me where you are, kaylasmum, I will find a responsible local rescue for you. In the meantime you should put the dog back to your daughter's house because you are not managing to control the situation to ensure your son's safety (evidenced by the fact that the dog has been forced to growl several times already).

I still stand by my point about staffies. We looked to getting one a couple of years ago and did a lot of research on the breed and that came up time and time again.

thank you all for your replies, first of all, i did'nt buy her, i took her on a trial basis because she was getting no peace at my daughters house. I totally agree that she should'nt have got the staffy when she had the cavalier and that she should have checked things out properly but her partner was adamant that he wanted a staffy. I've since said to her that she should give the staffy away but she says that her partner would never do that, so i was trying to help. I did'nt think for a minute that my ds would upset the dog so much, but he is only 21 months old and doe'nt really understand how to be gentle. I have to stress that i'm doing my utmost to ensure that my ds leaves the dog alone but its not easy at all. I am a responsible parent, not some naive person that does'nt know how to raise a child. I know that i'll most likely have to rehome the dog, i don't want her going back to my daughters either.

I also have a 5 year old dd who is very gentle with the dog, she'll be so upset at giving her away. When i posted on here i really did expect to hear that she would have to go.

Totally irrelevant, hercules. The Cavalier sounds like she was getting more peace with the other dog than she is with this child anyway. And I think it's fair to say the OP's child's safety is a little more important than these dogs' social life.

kaylasmum please call the lady at the Cavalier Rescue ASAP - these people are generally volunteers and in your situation I don't think she'll mind you phoning her on a Sunday. If you don't get anywhere post on this thread again and I will try to find somewhere local to you.

This makes me really cross. Your daughter already has a dog, and then gets another without really researching the situation. It worries me that her ignorance of dog behaviour is going to cause her problems in the future with the staff and it is going to end up being palmed off on someone else. It was irresponsible of her - but you did step in to help.

Cavalier king charles spaniels are lovely dogs, that tend not to be seen as a family dog, for a reason. Not because they are vicious, but because they don't like being pulled around. So with older children they are fine, but they really just want a quiet life. It sounds like this particular dog has had a bit of a rough ride of things. It is a bit much really to expect her to suddenly accept being mauled by a wee lad. Which to be fair, is what children do with dogs.

I have a three year old dd and a year old jack russel type dog. She gives him such a hard time, and i do worry occasionally - but he keeps coming back for more , because he is a terrier and its all a big game to him. He has growled at DD a couple of times but this has been the play growling that dogs do when they play tug, so not a warning growl. A warning growl is one step away from a bite, it is a dog that is saying, look, leave me alone, i don't want to bite you but if you don't fuck off and leave me alone i WILL bite you.

With a dog this size, chances are it will be a bite to the face as it will most likely be if he hurts her or is smotering her. So, please don't be complacent, she might not be a rotweiller but she can still scar your little lads face for life.

In all seriousness, you really have to consider if this is fair to this dog. She has obviously not be raised with children so wont be accustomed to all of this pulling around. I feel quite sorry for her tbh. Contact your local dogs trust or cavalier rescue centre or RSPCA Before she snaps at your son, because once she has bitten, she will be classed as a biter and will be difficult to rehome, through no fault of her own Poor dog, she would be the ideal companion for a retired person who would be able to give her the peace and quiet she deserves.

I think it was lovely that you tried to help out, but please don't give the dog back to your daughter. Also, advise your daughter very strongly to get some proper training in place for her staffy, these are strong little dogs that really WONT take any shit from anyone.

eh? why is what I said irrelevant and who mentioned anything about a dog's social life??

IAteDavinaForDinner - could you please tell me why you think that i am being irresponsible. All i've done is try to help. As i've said already, my ds is very quick. I am very careful when they are both in the same room together but obviously there have been times when he's got to her before i could intervene. My ds's safety is paramount and i would like to see the dog rehomed in a good home without other dogs or small children. She is an adorable little dog who needs the right home and i know that mine is'nt the right one for her. I came on here for advice not to be attacked on a personal level. I totally agree that my dd has been iresponsible but her partner is a dope smoking bully and unfortunately she does'nt have much of a say in the matter over the staffy.

Also kaylas mum, i think your son will only become more of a problem with the dog over the next year or so, we have had a really hard time making DD understand that sometimes bob doesn't want her to play dentists with him.

i don't for one minute think you are being irresponsible, quite the opposite actually. It must be a very worrying situation for you over your DD and her horrible partner. Maybe she should keep the dog and rehome him! Actually, that situation would really worry me, he obviously wants a big tough dog for his image, oh god, its a recipe for DISASTER.

I can see that you had no choice but to take this little dog on. I do think you should rehome her, i would contact cavalier rescue first as they might well be able to arrange a home for her without her going to kennels, or a foster home. Blimey, if i didn't have a boisterous dog and equally boisterous DD i would have her in an instant. Incidentally, where abouts are you?

exasperatedmummy - can i just ask why you still have your dog after admitting that your 3 yo gives your jack russell a hard time. How can you be sure that your dog wont snap at your lo?

I'm in Perth, Scotland. I'll be sad to see her go but i know that she has to. I know you did'nt call me irresponsible, that was another poster.

Because he LOVES IT . Also, with her being three it is easier for me to say, bob has had enough now. That is a fair point though, but i was just trying to make the distinction between the breeds and personalities of these dogs. My JRT is a little holigan who really gives as good as he gets, when he has had enough, he gets up and buggers off. Your cavalier just wont want to play like this, they are just such laid back little couch potatos mostly, it just doesn't seem fair. But then you realise that already. I think you would have got a better response on this thread if you had simply asked for help rehoming.

BUT i do know how hard a decision this is for you. From my own personal experience. We had a rotweiller before we had DD2. He was a rescue from battersea and he had isshooos. Then, out of the blue, as they sometimes do, came DD2. I was VERY worried about this, and after he bit my eldest dd (16 at the time) when she trod on his leg when he was asleep so a reactionary snap, i decided that he would have to go - that was terribly difficult for me, i had to really wrestle in my mind as he was a rescue, had a hard time and i wanted us to be able to give him a stable loving home. Sadly, it wasn't to be, we had some time because DD2 was still immobile, at four months old. So, i started looking for a new home for him as i couldnt bear for him to go to kennels as he suffers from kennel stress - This was taken out of our hands though, the reason he bit my DD was because it turned out that he had bone cancer in the leg that she trod on and it must have been agony for him We had to have him put to sleep so ironically we were saved the heartbreak of rehoming him. But i do feel it was a cruel twist of fate for a dog who had clearly been through a hard life. We could never have kept him though, even without the bite, i knew that deep down, its funny how fate intervenes.

So, please don't think im judging you - im not, ive been in your situation, well worse really, cavalier - rotweiller, quite a difference!! So i do understand. Still cross with your DD, but then i guess you are too - she needs to get rid of that man

kaylasmum, if this dog is growling repeatedly at your son then she is repeatedly being put in a position which she feels uncomfortable in, and therefore your son is repeatedly being put at risk. You need to separate them, really, really you do. You say "he is so quick" - therefore you need to use stairgates/cages etc or move the dog back to your daughter because as you say "its so difficult to wath him every second".

I am in Scotland - if you don't want to use Cavalier Rescue please try Second Chance or DAWGS. The SSPCA also have a branch in Dundee.

I don't mean to be critical but this dog is desperately trying to tell you to keep the child away from her, you need to listen to her, for his safety.

um, well, you couldn't be further away really, im in KENT!! lol.
Its just that i know a lady who MIGHT have taken her on, she has about four cavaliers at any one time, quite mad and treats them like her children - typical cavalier owner really. But get in touch with a rescue centre, she sounds lovely and im sure you will find a loving home for her soon.

Also you can email me at [email protected] and I will try to help.

i've spoken to my dd about this and she wants her back, i'm apprehensive about this as she has a 2 and a half yo son who is even more boisterous than mine. i don't want to have a major fall out with my dd so i'll have to give her back but i did say to her to think about rehoming her if the staffy continues to upset Holly.

This is VERY worrying. Really, her 2yo is going to be in even more danger. If the dogs fight and the 2yo gets caught up in it, it will be worse than a quick warning snap that may or may not catch her face. I think you have to be a bit tough here, insist on having the dog rehomed. Easier said than done, i do understand. Does your DD mumsnet - she is welcome to CAT me, or you can, give me DDs email address and i'll have a chat with her. That way, this info doesnt have to come from you.