my dog growls at my 21 month old ds

[kaylasmum]

Hi, i recentlyot a cavalier king charles spaniel from my daughter. She got her 6 months ago but then got a staffy puppy who just would'nt leave the cavalier alone. When my daughter bought the cavalier she was 6 years old and it seemed like the previous owner used her for breeding mainly. We get the impression that she may have been mistreated in the past. Anyway i felt sorry for her not getting any peace form the staffy so i told my daughter that i might take her anad that i'd give it a 2 week trial to see how we got on. She is such a good dog, obediant and very loving but the problem is that my ds just won't leave her alone. Talk about " out of the frying pan and into the fire"! My ds does'nt seem to realise that he hurts her, he is too boisterous. We do our best to stop him but its so difficult to wath him every second and he is very quick. Over the past 2 weeks the dog has growled at him about 6 times and i'm really worried that she might bite him. The 2 week trial is up today and i think i might have to give her back to my daughter although ireally don't want to.

Just wondering if anyone thinks its a real possibility that she might bite my ds.

Sorry you feel got at, kaylasmum.

People are just concerned because this dog is making it clear that she is not happy with your son's attention and you must heed her.

Please don't tell her off for growling. Punishing her may even lead to her resenting your son and associating his presence with something unpleasant, which won't help at all. Likewise, crates are something a dog needs to be trained to use - otherwise they are just prisons. It takes time to teach a dog that their crate is their safe haven. Time that you can't really afford given the caonfrontations that have already occurred. She's being asked to deal with a very difficult situation here and you are expecting an awful lot of an older dog with a dodgy past.

I hope you find a nice home for her.

Hey Kaylasmum,
Not sure where you are in Scotland, but there is a Cavalier rescue center in Irvine. Details here - www.scottishkennelclub.org/resources/breed-rescue.html I am in Falkirk
I have three Cavaliers, they are great with kids, and anyone really, but they have always been around children.
They have their beds in my lobby, along with their toy box and water bowl, i think they like time out on their own. Have you tried giving your cav its own space so it can get up and go whenever things get too much? Just a thought.
CAT me if you want to talk.

I think some people are being just a little harsh here. Most of the CKCS I know are very soft amenable dogs, although I understand that this one might have had a bit of a troubled past. To me, one of the main factors which determines how well children and dogs mix is setting strict boundaries for both, and continually reinforcing them. My 2 dogs are pretty much seperated from the kids except when we all go walking (at least an hour and a half every day), where they have plenty of space to interact and play, and the dogs can easily outrun them if they get fed up! For the rest of the day, the dogs are happy to sleep in their own quarters, until the kids go to bed. The dogs are not allowed human food, not allowed on the settee and are happy with their limits. THe kids have been taught how to approach the dogs, and dd2 has only pulled a tail once, before she was removed and made to understand that it wasn't on. ds is only 11mths and, imo, too young to understand, so he is not allowed access to the dogs unless I am holding him. Neither of my dogs have EVER growled at the kids- they know their place in the pack and have never really had need to feel threatened.

Also, all growls are not equal. They are a dog's method of communication, but don't necessarily mean they are going to bite, just informing you that they are not happy with what is happening. You have a new dog in a new home, where the pack structure is possibly still a bit unclear. Separation and vigilance are vital, there is plenty of time for them to develop a relationship over time, although I wouldn't say that rehoming/ returning the dog is a bad idea if you don't have the time or facilities to keep them apart until this happens. Sometimes things don't work out, but you haven't really done anything terribly irresponsible, IMO

Kaylasmum

We got a dog from the dogstrust (she was our dogs littermate, who ended up back at the trust)

She was LOVELY, but was anxious,and ended up biting my daughter on the face (dd wasn't harassing the dog) The dog was just super anxious.

I beat myself up for AGES, thinking that I should have handled the settling in period differently. We sent her back , but we know she ended up in a great home, which suited her better.

We got another little dog that is such a ray of sunshine in our home - we adore him.

So, yes, its hard, but well done for making a decision which is best for the dog and LO

At the risk of making things worse, can I suggest that we all might agree that OP was doing her best to help the dog but, owing to the dog's past, small children etc., it just isn't feasible for her to keep the dog?

People who try to do a good deed but can't because of circumstances deserve our respect and support.

I agree bella. What needs to happen is not blame and guilt but a way of moving forward now.

I would ask around and see if there are any small foster-from-home type rescue places in the area where the dog can stay before finding a forever home. IMO kennels are tough for dogs that have been used to the family home.

hi, i phoned the cavalier rescue today and was given a number for a woman in Edinburgh who helps to rehome cavaliers, she was very nice and i explained the situation to her, she said that she did'nt think Holly would bite but of course we could'nt be sure, which i completely agree with. She said that he thought she might have someone nearby who would be interested in rehoming Holly and that she would get back to me.

Lovesdogsandcats - I'm very sure that my ds does understand the meaning of the word no, the point is he's a small child and not all children are 100% obedient and he's testing his boundaries at the moment so he likes to see how far he can push me. By no means do i just let him get away with it. I discipline him accordingly. I have raised 5 children and done a damn good job of it! As far as "crating the child" not very amusing imo!

If i were to use a crate it would only be so that Holly could have a safe place to go to to get away from my ds, i would'nt lock her in it. In fact when my dd had her she would sometimes go into the staffy's crate. I'm still in two minds about what to do, i'll have wait to see what the woman at the rescue centre says. I'd just like to add that Holly seems to be fond of my ds as she sometimes goes to him with her tail wagging.

Oh good, Kalylasmum - hope it all works out well.

BTW, serious respect at your having raised 5 children - I only have two dc and quite often have to lie down in a darkened room

I was in a simular situation myself....I too owned a quiet, well behaved Cavalier bitch. She was 2 when I decided to get another dog, originally I was going to get another cavalier but then opted for a staff myself as i'd owned one before. She was a 3 mth old bitch who too proved to be very boisterous round my cav and wouldn't give her any peace but i knew if i were to make it work i had to persevere. Discipline and bounderies were set in place and now 5 mths down the line they are the best of friends. Each of them bringing out the best of each others personalities, Daisy my Cav has become more playful and Missy my staff knows when enough is enough and is even gentle towards Daisy and my 5yr old son for that matter. I wouldn't have it any other way apart from my staff seems to be going through her 2nd teething stage at the moment. I could do with advoice myself as i don't want to crate her when she's used to being out with Daisy. I've bought her new chews and kongs, which she loves but when i'm not there she's enjoys the skirting boards and chair legs too!! help!!