my dog growls at my 21 month old ds

[kaylasmum]

Hi, i recentlyot a cavalier king charles spaniel from my daughter. She got her 6 months ago but then got a staffy puppy who just would'nt leave the cavalier alone. When my daughter bought the cavalier she was 6 years old and it seemed like the previous owner used her for breeding mainly. We get the impression that she may have been mistreated in the past. Anyway i felt sorry for her not getting any peace form the staffy so i told my daughter that i might take her anad that i'd give it a 2 week trial to see how we got on. She is such a good dog, obediant and very loving but the problem is that my ds just won't leave her alone. Talk about " out of the frying pan and into the fire"! My ds does'nt seem to realise that he hurts her, he is too boisterous. We do our best to stop him but its so difficult to wath him every second and he is very quick. Over the past 2 weeks the dog has growled at him about 6 times and i'm really worried that she might bite him. The 2 week trial is up today and i think i might have to give her back to my daughter although ireally don't want to.

Just wondering if anyone thinks its a real possibility that she might bite my ds.

thanks for your concern, my dd does'nt have a computer. I will try to persuade her to have Holly rehomed but she is very headstrong and when i spoke to her earlier she said " i paid for her, she's my dog". Don't know what to do now, i just wanted to help.

oh dear, this is difficult isn;t it. Might it be an idea to ring around the rescue centres, see if they can rehome for her, then say "look, ive found a potential home" then of course it is up to her...but it shouldnt really be about who paid for the dog. I don't envy you - the only other thing you can do is keep the dog ( i wonder if this is the lesser of both evils) and concentrate on training your DS to be a bit less boisterous with her? I know how it is with head strong teenagers/older children (well they always will be our children wont they) i have one myself.

Can understand that she doesn't want to give up on the dog, but it really would be for the best, for the dog at the end of the day.

Hi there its the notorious DD here, its rather annoying how my mum has been posting things about me without me being able to give my side. The things she wrote about my partner were very hurtful as he has changed hugely in the past while. He did not get a staffy for his tough image, (he does'nt have one), it was a joint decision. They are fantastic, loving dogs and very loyal. And for your information i did actually research the breed extensively as i have a young son and wanted to make sure it was a safe breed. Never did i read anything saying that Staffy's must be kept as a solitary pet or that they have a problem with cavaliers. I asked for advice from the breeder regarding bringing a stafy into the cavalier's home and she advised that there was no problem with it. Another comment saying "staffy's don't take any shit" could not be further from the truth! Staffy's are one of three breeds of dog recommended by the kennel club for being homed with children, and every staffy owner i've ever spoken to has said how fantastic they are with children. Ever heard of the term "nanny dog"? This is a widely used term for staffy's. THANKS FOR YOUR ADVICE ON GETTING PUPPY TRAINING BUT I'VE BEATEN YOU TO IT. And oh, surprise surprise, that was my partner's idea. Holly was well looked after at mine she just did'nt want to play. At first she absolutely loved the puppy and mothered her. The puppy just got a bit much for her. And you can stop your outrage now because i've decided to rehome her somewhere more suitable. The reason i wanted her back had nothing to do with money, it was because i loved her and did'nt lik to think of never seeing her again, which is why i now want to find a nice retirement home for her.

Glad you got the chance to put your side over, kaylasmumsdaughter

Please check out the rescue details listed on this thread, you will hopefully find this girl a home before the rescues close up for the pre-Christmas period. Good luck

Please don't fall out with your mum over this. She was just worried and trying to help out. I was not outraged, just worried. I am sure i got alot more outrage than you, walking down the road pushing my pram and holding my rotweiller. I am sorry for the things i said about your DP, that was wrong of me.

You are right, staffies are great dogs with children and like my jack russel, he will love to play, but he WILL stick up for himself if he gets hurt. But im sure you are on top of htat, its great that you are taking him training. I do think the breeder misled you somewhat about staffies being easy with other dogs. A large proportion of staffs can be problematic with other dogs and early socialisation is vital, so you are doing all the right things taking her along to training with other dogs around rather than doing it at home. I would be inclined to have him castrated too, that will stop any anti dog behaviour. I have heard the saying Nanny dog too.

You are doing the right thing getting the cavalier rehomed, really because your little hooligan (the dog!) probably wont give her a minutes peace and she probably could use a retirement home as you so nicely put it

I do know how you feel about rehoming her, i nearly had to rehome my rottie and it would have devestated me, but i would have had to do it i know i would.

It might help to log onto the site Dogpages. It is widely used by the countries rescues so you may be able to get backing from them.

Just to clear up the staffie thing. These dogs are one of the most common in this country. Staffies, Jack Russels all get a bad name because of the way they fight. They lock on to their target and therefore, IF they decided to fight, it is hard to get them out of it. In those cases they are best to be rehomed without kids or pets. But this is rare and the majority of staffs are big softies. Any dog can be hostile regardless of breed its just a staffy bite can be more damaging.

It might help to log onto the site Dogpages. It is widely used by the countries rescues so you may be able to get backing from them.

Just to clear up the staffie thing. These dogs are one of the most common in this country. Staffies, Jack Russels all get a bad name because of the way they fight. They lock on to their target and therefore, IF they decided to fight, it is hard to get them out of it. In those cases they are best to be rehomed without kids or pets. But this is rare and the majority of staffs are big softies. Any dog can be hostile regardless of breed its just a staffy bite can be more damaging.

What is all this about toddlers 'bothering' pets??

My 2 were brought up in a multi-dog and multi-cat household and I can tell you that if they pulled a tail/sat on a dog/cat...WHATEVER, they never did it twice.

Kids should understand that animals need space and its cruel to allow it to happen. If these kids are consistently hurting the dogs, there is a real problem.

LovedogsandCats,
Could I ask what you did to your children to stop them bothering your pets? I've just never seen a toddler who was THAT obedient, and would be very keen to stop my DS from thumping our dog.

I already had 2 cats and 2 dogs when mine came along. I just never tolerated anything at all. Once when ds was jumping all over the settee and the dog happened to be there, and the dog growled because ds was standing on his paws and obviously hurting him - I got ds, shouted, really loud, and opened my dogs mouth and showed him his teeth, and told him that those teeth will BITE and HURT him.

It worked as the kids have always had the utmost respect for the pets.

I think you're trying to be very responsible and trying to do the best for all the children and dogs, it's not easy when you have dogs and kids but the cavalier just isn't used to small kids and it's hard on her to have to get used to it. Most dogs don't like kids harrassing them but some will tolerate it more than others.

My ds is 18 months and falls onto the dog, pulls her tail and tries to shove things into her mouth but she just either sits there or moves away. Luckily she's the most soft and gentle dog you could ever meet, and she was used to small children since she was born - BUT I'm still wary, she's still a dog and I will never trust 100% not when ds is so small. He may really hurt her and you just can't say what she will do.

So during the day if she's lying down she'll lie at the top of the stairs behind the stair gate where he can't get her.
Apart from anything else I feel sorry for the dog, she tolerates it but she looks up at me with sad eyes as if to say wtf is going on!

At 18 months he's just not old enough to ubderstand what he's doing.

I agree with Ilovecatsanddogs - we have 3 dogs all of whom were puppies when dd was a toddler. They were never left alone together through the use of stair gates and crates and constant watching. Hand on heart I can say she has never pulled a tail or jumped on the dogs.

How did you get your very young children to not hassle the dog? I say all the things like nicely and stroke the dog or when he sees the long wagging tail and wants to touch it, I say NO and yes, ds lets go but he will do it again.
IT's not that ds is cruel or is deliberately harrassing the dog he's 18 months, he sees this thing and wants to investigate.

He does ignore the dog most of the time and just steps over her, but sometimes if the dog is lyiong somewhere ds will fall over onto her (not the same as actually jumping), and he's trying to feed the dog the dummy, the same as he does with me .

So I would gladly take some advice on what to do!

The way I have always done it is set clear boundaries for the dog and the kids. I taught the dog "basket" really quickly. If the kids are in the room, he goes in his basket which is then seperated by a gate. He's not allowed on the sofa or upstairs, that is for the kids and me. This tells him that the kids are higher up the chain then him. If the dog gets plenty of exercise, these commands should be quite easy to teach.

I also teach the kids to have respect. We do training with the dog together, but I also warn them that he may bite if they hurt him. But to be honest they never get the chance. I never leave them alone together.

The dog really respects the kids and vice versa and we have no problems but if you have a dominant dog than you need to set the boundaries quite quickly.

The problem isn't a dominant dog, but an extremely boisterous little boy!
A few people have mentioned that they made sure their toddlers were respectful of the dog and I just wondered how they got this message across to an 18 month old!

Like I said, it's obviously not cruelty on the part of ds and it may not be a problem really as dog is exremely placid, calm, zero dominance or agression and just sort of plods about but it's still not nice for the dog so I try and keep her out of the way as much as I can when he's racing around.

And while she's absolutely not dominant in any way (I made sure of that as the dd's were 3 and 4 when we got her), it's if the toddler accidently hurts the dog they may snap as a natural response to the situation. She has never ever done that, but she's a dog - so who knows!

The way I have always handled toddlers plus dogs is to separate them - dog gates are great because the two can see each other and interact but no harm can come. I've never had a problem with my dc annoying or hurting my dogs, but then I have never left them alone or even stepped back when they have been close together.

Similarly, dog crates are fantastic as a way of allowing the dog its own personal space.

Still waiting for a remedy to keep dc in their beds at night, though

Thats' what I do, the dog lies at the top of the stairs behind the gate, dog can still see what's happening but is out of the way. It's hard because the dog is such a sociable thing, so I don't want to segragate her too much but I have to think of ds and the dog's peace of mind too!

She has a bed in the garage too so she sometimes asks to go in there (it's off the utility room so it's not outside or anything).

I'm always there when the dog is around ds, but I want them to get used to each other too, and fro the most part they just rub along but I'm always wary!

How to keep toddlers in bed at night?
Easy, threaten them with the dog

hi, i just want to clarify that i never leave my ds alone with the dog, and watch very carefully what he is doing. Since she came to me from my dd's she has seemed a lot happier and even healthier looking, as my dd has said to me several times. I would love to keep her but obviosly i don't want my ds to get bitten.

I'm sure there are thousands of people who have dogs and small children. My little boy is'nt a bad child he's just boisterous and does'nt really understand.

Kaylasmum I dont mean to be rude but you have got very defensive and I dont quite understand why. Of course your son is boistorous, he is 18months old.

Your original post said he wont leave her alone...therefore IMO the solution is simple, either find a way where they are seperated without isolating the dog or rehome her. The growls are warnings and you cant risk it.

I have fostered dogs for 5 years (roughly 25 dogs) with 3 young children and I can honestly say I have never been in this situation because we seperate. For your dog to growl 6 times in 2 weeks at yor son should be taken seriously.

It doesn't mean you have failed in any sense, which I suspect is how you might feel. I am a true believer that having a dog is like a relationship. Sometimes it just doesn't work out. Dogs have their own personalitis and this one probbly just doesn't like toddlers, theres probaby little you can do to change that.

If i seem defensive its only because i feel the need to be. My son is 21 months old and the dog growls at him only if he is being rough with her. At other times she quite happily sits beside him and lets him cuddle her, under my supervision of course! I have thought about seperating them but thst would'nt be all that easy, i've even considered getting a crate for her until my ds can learn to be more gentle.

I think you will have to use your instinct on this one.

I wouldn't think a crate is the right thing for the dogs age. It could be upsetting to suddenly be locked away. Its worth a try but bear in mind it may not be the answer to your questions on the other hand, she may take to it easily and like the solace it gives her.

When she growls, how do you respond? Do you tell her off? Does she realise this is unacceptable?

Secondly you may find she is more responsive to your son if you can get him to wait for the dog to come to him, rather than him go to the dog.

Give your son a few more months and he will learn to leave the dog alone. At the moment she is new to him. 2 weeks isn't long for them both to adjust to their new surroundings.

FWIW I dont think you are being irresponsible.

Well imo 21 months old is old enough to know 'NO' in this context.
And if you can't trust your child to stop hurting the dog, crate the bloody child!!!!!

Hello kaylasmum

I just wanted to clear it up in case you thought I was criticising you, because I wasn't. As I said in my very first post on this thread, I don't think you should keep the dog and am 100% behind you. I have owned a dog who was not safe around children and had to make the difficult decision to give up the dog, but I know it was the right thing because otherwise my ds or another child could have been bitten.

You have my full support

And there's no point my threatening my dc with my dogs if they (the dc) won't stay in bed, as the dogs I have now are below even the cats in the pecking order, and wouldn't scare anyone!!!