Am I silly to consider a dog as a single mum?

[whereinderbyshire]

I’m a single mum to two primary school aged children. I have a reasonable sized secure garden, albeit lots of toys around but plenty of grass and space for a dog. I live in an area with lots of fields and greenery, though off lead in those areas could be quite challenging with high prey driven dogs.

I work 2 hours a day, about five mins drive from my house and I study online. I have about 15-20 mins free to walk in the morning and 20-30 mins to walk in the evenings.

We have family pets: one is a mixed breed rescue and the other a working cocker. Both of these dogs find it difficult being around the children for long and the cocker doesn’t sit still. Ever. And doesn’t walk, he runs. Everywhere. And has knocked the kids over a couple of times. And as much as I love the crazy little pooch, I don’t think a working cocker would suit us as we wouldn’t be able to give them the time they need. Albeit, he’s had many sleepover and walks with us.

I’m looking at rescue or dogs for rehoming - age and looks do not bother us. Just a dog who needs love and fits in with us. There are some places that will consider primary aged children and I’m hoping for some advice on what breeds might be most suitable as I’ve stated above.

Ideally, I would be hoping for a dog that requires 60 mins or less exercise, can chill at home but will engage in play with the kids at times and minimal shedding, though that’s not a huge priority - just a preference as I expect dog hairs where dogs live. Also, the idea of a medium-small lap dog would just be lovely.

I’ve narrowed these breeds down. I’m open to suggestions on whether I’m ’barking up the wrong tree’ or if there’s any breeds I haven’t considered.

Greyhound/whippet - aware of the high prey drive. Aware of greyhound size. Like how they relax in the house and can be left for a few hours (I work 2 hours a day), but not sure they would like the noise from children and potentially being startled when sleeping. Also, was surprised to research they need 60 mins or less exercise a day with a good run.

French bulldog - it seems they can tolerate an hour or less a day exercise, like that they are lap dogs and from what I gather they will engage with children and play, as well as chill out too. However, I’m aware that they have difficulties with their flat face.

Shih Tzu - I grew up with one who needed rehoming by his previous family at 2 years old and he came to us. He was my best friend and when he died my world crumbled. I miss him dearly, so im very well aware of their 4-8 week grooming needs and daily brushing. Like how they require 60 mins or less exercise a day. My Shih Tzu tolerated me when I was younger than but aware they’re quite fragile and can be prone to separation anxiety though my Shih Tzu wasn’t, he was very independent.

Thank you in advance for your suggestions. Whenever it may be, and whatever dog fits our family, will be amazing. But for now I’m not even making enquiries until I’ve researched, researched, researched.

Also, am I silly to think I can do this as a single mum with primary aged children? Anyone other single mums out there have a dog too? Or should I wait until the kids are in high school?

Yes, it sounds too much! If you can’t deal with the family dogs you do have then why take on another?

At what point did I say we couldn’t cope with the family dogs 😂 I simply explained that the working breeds would be unsuitable for us full time. And as for our rescue, he is old and doesn’t like noise. Hence why I’m researching to get the right fit for US and the DOG.

Personally I wouldn't do this.

The big expense of a dog - insurance, food, regular vets stuff etc.

The lack of flexibility. Lots of day trip and holiday places you can't go with a dog

Managing 2 kids and a dog when out and about. Dogs aren't generally allowed in children's playgrounds, I dunno, it just sounds like hard work. When being a single parent is already very hard work.

But then I am not driven to own a dog. I enjoy friend's dogs but don't want the hassle of my own.

If you decide to get a dog then cavapoo is a lovely mix, healthy, happy, friendly .. you never walk far before someone comes over to chat to the dog. One thing I hadn’t taken into consideration when I bought my little one was the cost of grooming, (was aware of meds, car seat, medicine, insurance, toys ) … £50 every six weeks. She’s worth it, but I just hadn’t known!

We have our family dogs often and do take them places often and are aware of the restrictions on kids areas allowing dogs etc. That’s why I’m researching now to see if there’s a breed suited to us and our current lifestyle or whether we should wait. It may very well be that we wait a couple of years and that’s fine.

like you say there would definitely be some added costs each month. I will be doing these calculations for certain before anything anyway.

thank you

I think OP's being unclear. She means other members of the wider family have these breeds of dogs, not that she already has these dogs in her nuclear family.

OP - not a greyhound. DSis had to rehome hers, as they need loads of exercise and get wild and hyper and destructive if not walked for hours each day.

How about a Bichon Frise or Miniature poodle?

Aw they’re lovely!
yeah the grooming costs definitely add to the bill don’t they! Was the same with my Shih Tzu but they always look so cute and are certainly worth it 🥰 thanks for your suggestion.

That’s what I mean. They are wider family pets!

thanks for your suggestions!

I have a cockerpoo, he’s a perfect family pet. Happy to go for long walks, run off lead but can also manage half an hour morning and evening. He settles well if I need to be out of the house and doesn’t shed everywhere. He’s very smart so training is an ongoing journey.

He does need grooming every 6-8 weeks and gathers mud and leaves and grass seed in his coat, so needs regular brushing. Really good temperament, selective hearing when he’s interested in something else, great with my two teenagers.

You have the spare time for a dog, do you have spare money for a dog?

OP - If for any reason you can’t care for them eg illness, how would you cope? Would your family help?

If you are looking at rescue then the dog itself may be more important than a specific breed.
Would you still be looking after family dogs. Would it need to get on with them.
Does the specific dog itself enjoy being around children or has it been badly treated previously and is too skittish?
I would suggest contacting rescues and be led by them.

A rescue greyhound, whippet, lurcher would potentially work. Gentle, lazy, awesome dogs. Generally coach potatoes. Obvs depends on the individual dog. (Interested what Cypressmoon says up thread about a greyhound. I have literally never heard this before, they are such a lazy breed, lol. Friends do a lot for an ex-racing trust.)

I do love these breeds but I’ve read about being startled in their sleep when they’re ex racers etc and with me having primary aged children I wouldn’t want to distress the dog. I guess the rescue centres would best know the dogs though.

Honestly @whereinderbyshire I had visions of Nana in Peter Pan caring for your dc. 😂

Sleep-startle is defo a thing, depending on the dogs past. I have rescues (all with awful starts in life) and sudden waking with growling etc (until they realise where they are) is defo a thing, but I am not sure how common it is. I would take the rescue centres advice. As I don’t have young kids I have dogs considered err, challenging, but it’s not something I ever experienced with my earlier dogs.

To answer your question - yes you are silly. You have too much going on in your life without adding another pet to the mix.

I’d consider fostering too but I’m not sure with my children’s ages that would work just yet. But it may be something in our future.

I think I need to speak to the rescues properly and be put on the list with all our details/home/finances etc and go from there.

I don’t have a pet so I’m not adding another. My wider family have pets and often we have them for walks/sleepover not out of need but out of joy. majority of the pets over the years in my family growing up were rehomed/rehoused hence me looking down that path too.

however, acknowledge that working x2 hours a day and studying online as a single parent could be difficult hence researching first and accepting it may not be our immediate future and perhaps our distant future. 😊

What about a little Maltese? My MIL had one and she was a lovely little thing, didn't require loads of exercise and was a happy lapdog, liked company. Bear in mind that going for a walk is about more than exercise, it's more like enrichment for dogs - all the sniffing and scenting other dogs is like social media for doggies and it does socialise them around lots of different people too. Don't get a dog unless you're prepared to invest the time in enrichment and training etc

What? How does she have too much? She has two children in school and a two hour a day job? I’m on my own, 3 children in school, have a 6 hour a day job, 2 large breed dogs, 5 reptiles including 2 4 foot monitor lizards, 4 hamsters, 2 salamanders, 3 fish aquariums and 8 chickens. And I’m looking at going to an animal auction next month to consider expanding! I love my life and wouldn’t have it any other way.
Op please rule out French bulldogs as they are unethical and statistically more likely to become ill than not. Someone above mentioned cockerpoos and I know people have all different experiences with them, every single one I have met has been batshit crazy and hyper and I wouldn’t keep them as a family pet

No, don't add a dog to the mix. They cost a bomb for a start.
You will have to drag the kids out on rainy days to walk it. They will get bored after a month, at best. Dog walking won't be fun on cold winter or dark winter evenings, that's a third of the year.
When you're ill it'll be another thing on your to do list.

I love love love dogs but would never get one as a lone parent.

Can you afford vets bills? I would love another dog but vets bills put me off

Agreed that a dog is too much. Adopt a cat.

I was a single parent and we always had one or two dogs., When the DC were young, we had a lab and then inherited a very grumpy and not at all child friendly JRT. The downsides were the expense and the tie. It was sometimes limiting to have to make arrangements for the dogs if we were going out for the day. However, they brought so much joy to both me and the DC - we still talk about the things the dogs did now and the dogs were very much a cornerstone of their childhood. If you can afford it and are prepared for the commitment, I would say go for it