Dog I don’t want and never asked for that I’m scared of

[Vicks1]

Basicallly I don’t know what to do with a dog that I’m scared of and don’t want in my house.
My partner got the dog without asking because his friends dog had puppies. I’ve never owned a dog in my life and first as it was young it was fine.

then the dog got older and it’s a large dog, I don’t want to say the breed, but it’s big. I’m more of a cat person although I don’t have cats atm.
anyway my partner works away. Often I’m alone with the dog and my 3 youngest kids.

My eldest boys don’t live away but they’re often out wirh friends especially at the weekend.
They do come home in the evening obviously as they’re only 14 and 12. But then home they do the dog care because I am scared of the dog. They do the feed and walk etc. but weekends from around 11am to 11pm it’s all on me.

The dog isn’t super aggressive but he’s had his moments. I’m rambling I’m so sorry I’m just not sure what to do and where I can go. Partner doesn’t listen, my eldest kids like the dogs, youngest 3 are scared but may be because they’ve picked it up from me.
i don’t want the dog to be put to spew he’s only bitten twice within the family. No where will take him when I ask and say theyre full.
please can someone give advice and options I asked on FB groups and got bad things said and even mocking of my account photos and children which were just day to day photos and really unjustified thabjs

That's crazy that it's still in the house. It's clearly a bully breed or you'd say otherwise, your partner isn't being a good dad if he allows a few bites yo his children. How often are we seeing deaths from dogs in the news atm, all of those families say how soft the dog was, how it was out the blue, none of them thkught they'd be that family in the papers losing loved ones to a dog.

Don't let it be you.

Exactly it’s absolutely disgusting. So many foolish and selfish dog owners out there.

As someone with a reactive dog and as such have had to navigate how to safely have that dog in the home with my child speakkng to behaviourists etc- your children do not sound safe. Maybe the bites themselves were nips due to excitement or accidents I don't know, but based on the fact youre not confident with the dog makes this a huge problem regardless.

You do know that if this dog kills someone it will be you in the jail. You've already created a trail of evidence confirming that the dog has a bite history.

Or, are you just waiting around until one of your kids has their face ripped off?

So he gets a big dog to prove to himsef that he's a big man, knowing that he will hardly be there and he's foisting it on somebody who doesn't want it and wasn't asked. It's easy for PPs to say you should/could have taken responsibility for training, but if you've never had a dog and don't know what you're doing that's easy to say in hindsight.

I think you have to take it to the vet, for all the reasons given so far. And if he tries to argue that you had no right to make that decision on your own, remind him that he didn't ask you when he got it.

And if the PP who called someone else an arsehole for suggesting PTS wants to do the same to me, feel free. This is a dog that has bitten. Maybe not his fault but we are where we are and the window for training has pretty much gone.

Out of interest OP, how did DH react when you told him the dog had bitten his kids?

FFS OP. Get rid of the dog, PTS if shelter isn’t possible (and ideally get rid of the partner too) before your kids are a statistic in the Daily Mail.

I'm pretty ruthless in these situations.

Dog needs to be euthanised.
That's my view. You won't change it.

Didn't think of training the dog eh?

No. It would be considered dog abandonment which is a criminal offence. If you are not the dogs legal owner you need to report the dog bites to the police and tell them your DP has left the dog at your home while he's away and you are scared of it and what it might do to the children while he is away. They will probably get the dog warden to retrieve it rather than take it themselves unless, I think, it's actually a banned breed. I would also talk to their domestic abuse team about his coercive control (that's what the "feel like I have to accept a lot which isn’t fair" stuff is).

The dog has already bit your children twice, why are you waiting for a third time?
Get it out your house.
Your partner is not taking responsibility for it, it's been dumped on you and the kids.
Will his mate take it back?

I'll echo everyone else - this dog needs to be PTS.
It's black and white OP. And I say that as someone who loves dogs.

You can't train a dog that bites children.

My cousin took in a dog out the goodness of her heart, a pocket bully completely nuts, she had 2 small children at risk. I’ve had 8 dogs in my life various lurches and pedigree giant breeds so I’m not anti dog. Long story short, dog was untraceable and was pts as couldn’t be rehomed as no rescue centre would take it. You have to put your family first.

It's not hard to get them used to a basket style muzzle. Get it professioanlly fitted in a good pet store though. You don't want to be fiddling with it and adjusting it when you are also trying to establish it.

You take the dog out for a walk on the lead when they are hungry. You put the muzzle on them when they are in the stride of the walk but you have to be away from other people and other dogs in as unstimulating an environment as possible.

You smear peanut butter on the inside and feed their favourite treats through the holes in the front. You encourage the dog to keep walking with their head up and with the muzzle on, feeding bits of dried liver, bacon, bits of Smoky Joes, whatever you know the dog will really want, as you walk along. If he tries to get it off, take it off for a few minutes and then back on and repeat. Keep encouraging the dog and giving the little treats, a bit more peanut butter etc. The muzzle must be associated with nice things but I have seen this method work many times over the years.

In your situation @Vicks1 if euthanasia is off the table. You absolutely must muzzle that dog apart from when he is eating and when you go to put the thing back on, go with the treats again for a bit and he will associate it with treats and accept it.

For the first dozen times you walk him out in the muzzle, take him where there are no other dogs as he will feel at a disadvantage. He needs to get used to wearing it before he is negatively challenged.

She has had it since a puppy and wasn't scared of it until it got big? She caused the problem. Now a dog has to die

The arsehole she lives with caused the problem.

Better a dog dies than a child dies.

Have it put down

How can a dog ''accidentally'' bite someone on the waist?

Two biting incidents is one too many.

Get rid of the dog.

OP if you do any research about dogs and biting, you will come across a biting scale to help you see how serious a bite is.
The scale goes from 1-6 where 6 is fatal.

Your dog is biting unprovoked (so its not that he was startled, or in his bed or anything) because you have no idea why he bit the 12 year old
Your dog bites are drawing blood.

That means he is about 3-4 on the bite scale.

The same research will show you that beyond 4 is not considered to be trainable any more, they have gone too far.

That is why a rescue won't take him. They can't rehome him. He is dangerous.
I am really sorry that you find yourself in this situation.
Your partner has been unbelievable selfish and I would be furious with him over this, to the point of leaving. Not only did he bring a large dog into the home when you are scared of dogs, but then he hasn't trained it, and he is often away leaving the dog with you. I can't stress enough just how bad that is from him.

In Australia , if a dog bites a human even once, it gets put to sleep. I think that says all you need to know :) a dog that bites once, will bite again. Your husband never should have ignored your needs in this issue. I’d tell him to choose - you or the dog. Also, not fair to put the entire responsibility of a large dog on children.

He’s really not fine. I couldn’t be with someone who has so little respect for both his partner, or for a pet he clearly can’t be arsed to look after. Try set your bar higher. He sounds like a dick.

This is a serious safeguarding issue. You and your husband cannot or will not put your children's needs first, and are knowingly putting your children at risk of injury or worse from this dog.

Do you want to keep your dog or your kids?

How awful for you. Having a dog that's already bitten twice could be defined as a safeguarding risk. Tell partner you've been advised by an ex head of safeguarding (me) that the risk to chikdren is unacceptable and that the dog must go....end of. If he refuses tell him he must go and take dog with him. I suspect he'll give in.i personally would have the poor thing euthanised, because it can never be trusted.
I am not joking or bluffing. If the dog bites again and the authorities find out the previous record then you WILL both face prosecution.
I hope this makes sense. You should never have been put in this position. You might need to reflect on levels of control by your partner, because it does not appear to be a relationship of equals.

Many years ago we had a dog who bit my husband, I didn't know what to do, with children not wanting to lose it, but me scared of it, too. I rang the RSPCA helpline, and asked for advice. They were very clear.
You must have the dog put to sleep, they said. He's already bitten. If you have him rehomed, he could bite a baby and kill it.
Is that what you want?
Two of my children were young teenagers.
I told them the dog had become ill and died at the vets.
I only told them the truth, that he was put to sleep, a few years ago, and they were surprised. They had completely believed me.
I have never regretted what I did.

Btw, be prepared for the fact that it costs a fair bit to have a dog put to sleep. If you don't want to take it to the vets, they might be prepared to come to you, but you have to pay for that, too.