Talk to me about the reality of being a pet owner (dog and cat owners please!)

[Cutie101]

Hi, my daughter (13) loves all dogs and cats, if we are out on a walk she always stops to chat to the dog owners and asks if she can pet them.
She had a hamster which she loved but it recently died. She was beyond devastated.
I've been considering a dog or a cat for a while but I need to get my head around the reality of being a pet owner.
If you have a dog or a cat, perhaps you can help me understand costs involved, especially insurance and vet bills.
I work every week day but my husband is around 3 days a week. What do pet owners do about pet care during the day (and costs)
If we were to get a cat, I would want an indoor cat, but my husband has allergies, any breeds that are better for this? I am aware that cats scratch furniture. Is this true of all cats? I have recently renovated so all of my furniture is new and I don't really want it to get scratched!
If I get a dog, I would love to get a dog that can be a therapy pet, that way I may well be able to arrange to bring it into work with me (teacher and we used to have a therapy dog visiting the school but it no longer comes). How would I go about this or can you get a dog that is already trained as a therapy pet? If so where from?
Sorry for so many questions but I have so much to consider!

If your daughter like dogs could you sign up to Borrow My Doggy as a start? Respectfully, you do not have the lifestyle for a pet right now. Your husband has allergies, you're worried about furniture. There's nothing to guarantee a cat won't be an issue with those. You work out the house every day in a full on job. There's no way you as a teacher could bring the dog in even if it was trained therapy dog, who would look after it all day? Therapy dogs come in for hour or two at a time and need a constant human supervisor. It sounds like this animal would end up being rehomed/neglected as your lifestyle and way of thinking just isn't compatible with the reality of having a pet.

Don’t underestimate how much a dog will change your life. Granted, they will enrich it immensely but it is expensive with food, good insurance, yearly vaccinations, flea treatments etc but definitely depending on the breed, a working dog like a lab or a cocker spaniel need a lot of walking and exercise.

Every holiday needs careful planning.

Cats are a lot less high maintenance but equally expensive.

Sounds like your DD really needs a pet 😊

I can answer as a cat owner.

Not all cats scratch furniture but it's not easy to know in advance which ones will. Giving lots of other opportunities for scratching will minimise this. Cats have to scratch to keep their claws in good condition. Mine loves to scratch and she mostly uses her scratching posts, scratching boxes and trees outside. Very occasionally it's the carpet. Never the furniture though.

Why do you want an indoor cat? Cats are outdoor creatures and love being outside though some have to be indoors only because they are FIV positive for example and can infect other cats. Your cat will generally be much happier going out.

Insurance and vets bills can be expensive and you're right to think about it. Naturally it completely depends on the cats age and health. There are different types of policy that pay out either up to a limit per year, per condition, over a lifetime or I think other types. Check out the Which article on pet insurance for an introduction. Obviously if the cat is diagnosed with something you may want to stick with the same company, as otherwise that condition will be excluded from other policies. But sticking with the same company means they can put the price up. Vets costs can be astronomical too. My cats haven't had great health and I've paid out a bit but mostly my insurance has covered it. Most vets allow you to spread the cost of the annual vaccinations and checkups over a year. I pay about £14 a month for this in an expensive part of the country. As cats age they inevitably will be dearer to insure.

But they are worth it :-) Cats are a joy!

@Sixpence39 very valid points about the cat, you have confirmed my concerns. Regarding the dog, in my job it is fully possible that the dog could be in school all day, be well looked after and make a difference to children too, I have thought this part through, but only if I have a dog that qualifies. Another local school has a dog in school all day every day and it works for them.

@SwedishSayna thank you, I wanted indoor as we don't have a cat flap and I would worry about it being out and about all day. Really useful information and thank you for directing me to Which.

@AnnaBalfour thank you, I know it will be costly and I also know the effort needed for walks etc but imagining the reality of life with a pet is quite hard to make sure I fully know the complete picture. I want to make sure I have all my facts and don't rush into anything.

All three of our cats have variously scratched carpets and furniture (even leather sofa arm) and both indoor cats have had toilet accidents on carpets and furniture, not often but still. Also they are sometimes sick. One had to be rehomed as whatever he was brushing up against outside was causing my DS to break out in hives that were only treatable with a powerful fungicide (so not sustainable long term and no way to make a very happy boy cat become an indoor cat). Ddog could not possible be left alone all day, even though I am mainly WFH, he still has one or two pack walks depending on how flush we are per week for socialisation.

Insurance for both of them is £40 (Dcat is old so she costs more than dog), vet plan is £18 a month for Ddog but worth every penny. He eats a bag of food a week and 7 tins, even just the stuff from Lidl works out about £10/week. Plus all the treats and toys we grab on impulse for them both, and leads of various types depending on the walk. Dog beds can be pricey but I think worth splashing out. Shampoo, nose balm, travel equipment etc, brushes, it all adds up as well as appropriate clothing for all weathers.

@Cutie101 forgot to say the flea and worming is also included in the monthly vet cost.

Another potential cost is cat sitting when you go away. I use Rover for this if away for more than a couple of days and it's about £15 per visit. Cheaper than having a dog looked after for sure! And if you have family locally who can help then that's not an issue.

Ps you can get a cat flap fitted in most doors :-)

Dog and cat person here. We loved our retriever so much, and we were devastated when he was put to sleep, but life is so much easier now. You can’t have a day out without arranging care for the dog, holidays mean another huge expense if you haven’t got someone willing to dog sit. Depending on the breed you choose, don’t underestimate the amount of exercise it will need. Think about when your daughter leaves home. Will you be saddled with caring for an elderly dog ?
Cats are much easier, although mine did scratch the furniture despite having a scratching post.

We have literally just got a dog 3 weeks ago and it's changed my life! We have 2 children husband works full time I'm at home during the day only leave for school runs. She's made a big impact on my daily routine however I can stress for the better! I'm getting out more, kids have taken the responsibility of joining us for walks with her and she's settled quite well tbh as she's a rescue. However what I've struggled with is the nibbling and weeing BUT it's to be expected as she's a rescue dog and needs time to adjust to her surroundings. But I'm so glad we got her.

Dogs. Our whole life revolves around them. They can’t be left for more than a few hours. A pup can’t be left for very long at all. They need exercise and grooming and training and attention and playing and …..
Cats. We got two bonded adults as our first pair and they was great. Old enough to know what sort of characters we were taking on. The next pair were kittens and a bloody nightmare.
Allergies is a huge issue. You can’t guarantee any breeds will be ok. If you took on a rescue indoor cat you could at least spend time with it and see how you got on.
You do sound quite houseproud. How would you cope with a litter tray or hairballs?
Plus cats can live for 20 years. So only get one if you really want one. Not just your teen.

Both dogs and cats can potentially damage your furniture. We have long scratch marks up our kitchen door from when we looked after my Mums 2 dogs years ago and they jumped up at it excitedly when we came home (had shut them in kitchen for an hour).

We have a cat. He’s a rescue cat, we adopted him from blue cross. Really a lot depends on the personality of the cat and you won’t know that at first (!) even if the rescue gives you some background. Current cat is lovely and no trouble at all; doesn’t scratch much, uses the litter tray no problem, very affectionate etc. But I’ve had cats in the past who would attack someone just for walking past (!) and who sprayed up against everything 😳 and I’ve treated them all the same…!

Cats generally don’t do too well with children, they don’t like noise and unpredictable behaviour, which children often have. They are like a 45 year old menopausal woman who is sick of everyone’s shit. (Like me). Dogs are generally just happy to be there. I do love cats though, they can be very sweet and affectionate, when they want to be.

I forgot to mention cat costs, her litter has gone up to £6 a bag, we change it twice a week and scoop daily. Her food is quite expensive as she’s elderly so needs a more specialised diet than Lidl food. She has a few nice beds, a couple of scratchers and lots of toys and treats. She gets her nails clipped a couple of times a year and jabs annually, she’s indoor only and doesn’t come into contact with Ddog so we don’t worm or flea treat her, she’s never needed it.

2 cats and 1 medium sized dog.

The cats are pretty much nocturnal so will be absolute idiots all nights, chasing each other, scratching the doors (they are locked downstairs so we can sleep!), scratching the carpets and sofas. One decided to try and adopt an old lady down the road for a week so he was missing 5 whole days (we thought he was dead but no, there he was pestering some old lady).

Insurance for the two cats is £40, food per month is similar so £80. One of them had an operation which cost me £1200 (insurance would only cover the first £5k).

The dog costs me £40 a month in food, his insurance is £50 and goes up at least £10 a year as he gets older (he’s now 4). His training sessions were £40 an hour (we went to one a week for 2 years). His boarder is £35 a day but we never need it as we bought a campervan so he can come with us (extortionate but worth it!). Doggy day care locally is £25 a day but again, we don’t need it, I work from home. Treats, collars, beds, etc all cost. We bought a crash tested crate for the boot (£450).

He’s walked 2 hours a day, has a training session every day (he’s a working breed), he takes up all my spare time but I love this! Not everyone will so research the breed carefully.

Therapy dogs go through rigorous temperament testing. Try and find a breeder that will vouch for temperament I.e their dogs go to guide dogs for example.

Therapy pets are incredibly well trained - they train for years and are given to families who need them, or to people in specific circumstances, not teachers who take them to school (sorry, if that sounds harsh).

Depending on the dog, you're looking at upwards costs of £150-£200 a month (insurance, grooming, food, medication such as flea and worming treatment etc), minimum. Probably more. You can't leave a puppy alone all day, so you'll need to arrange day care when schools are in - so two days a week. You can't send it to daycare until it hits a certain age or has had its vaccinations. Near me is about £100 for two days a weekend. So you're already at £550 a month.

You also need to think practically - who will do night shifts to house train the puppy? Who is sleeping on the sofa with it? Who is walking it and taking it to training and socialising it. Can you exercise it? Can you give it the mental stimulation it needs - you can't just bring it home and dump it in front of some toys and hope for the best. Who will clean up after it (drool and fur)? Can you commit for 15 years? You can't book weekends away at random etc etc.

Getting a dog isn't a luxury, it's a responsibility and a privilege (as several posters have said on previous threads). Your life has to fit around the dog, you can't expect the dog to fit around you.

I've spoken to so many people over the years who wanted to get a dog - often because their kid wanted one - and almost all of them have balked when I tell them how much mine cost (youngest is 2 and costs me well over £200 a month) and how much goes into giving them the best possible life. Because it's not about them making your life better, it's about you making their life better.

Whilst I'd love a dog it's not a practical option for me so I make do with a cat (don't tell him that) I grew up with both a dog and a cat and am very happy with a moggy.
Costs -
obviously food, litter, trays, liners, poo bags ( mines an outdoor boy but uses a litter tray)
Vaccinations and annual boosters. Flea and worming treatments.
If you get a kitten you will need to neuter them - boys cats much cheaper and easier to have the snip.
Catteries or sitters for holidays - I have a cat lady who comes in twice a day to feed and spend a bit of time cuddling - I pay £14 a day for 2 visits.
Not all cats scratch furniture - mine has s few favoured intems but there are things you can stick round chair, table legs to protect them.
Most cats will hunt, but not all are prolific hunters, my current boy was mostly happy with worms and the occasional mouse, too lazy to go for birds. But they will be very proud of their exploits and expect a fuss.
The good thing about cats is you don't have to walk them, you can leave them alone, mine will tolerate up to 2 nights away although now he's getting on a bit I would get the sitter in for more than one night. They do get the huff though and you have to work at getting back into their good books if you've been away.
Cats will sit on the most incontinent thing, the washing, your laptop, you when you were just going to make a cup of tea. You will become your cat's butler.
Cats eat grass and sick it up- on your brand new carpet if you have one.
I don't have insurance, I just make sure I have enough in savings for an unexpected bill.
As with any living thing, they can get sick and start to wear out. My current cat is 14, the biggest bill I've had for him so far is £500 for some dental treatment. Although I am currently debating with the vet whether to fork out £800 for a thyroid operation or stick with daily medication at £30 a month for the rest of his life.
My boy has always been OK around children, cats know when to get out of the way though, he's even coped with 2 foster kids over the last year. He can be a bit grumpy but he's getting on a bit so it's allowed. Wouldn't be without him
Your biggest issue is your dhs allergy

Fucking nightmare. I love my dog but his personality means he cannot be left with anyone or stay with anyone. That means only holidays with him which are much more boring than a lovely roasting holiday somewhere closer to the equator.

want to sit down? You probably can’t because they need a walk or some attention or keep wanting the door to be opened so they can ask to come back in.

want to go out for a whole day or a quick weekend away? Can’t!

don’t bother.

I have 2 cats, they have really enriched our lives. I love animals and have always grown up with pets, I think it's great for children to grow up with a pet and learn how to care for them. I'm also a big dog lover but we chose cats as we thought they would be less maintenance and none of us fancy long walks in the dark winter mornings!

My cats have never scratched my furniture as I provide them with two cat stretching posts , we have one upstairs and one upstairs and plenty of opportunities to play.

We let ours outside, they come and go as they please as we have a catflap. If you feel strongly about keeping them inside, then ragdolls are known to indoor cars, however they have a lot of fur so this could be a problem for your husband with his allergy.

Just remember that a cat can live for 20 plus years, dogs less so but they can still live for many years, so it's for the long term and a decision that should be thought out before making that commitment.

In terms of costs, cat insurance is expensive. I pay £50 a month for 2. Food varies depending on brands, but we typically spend £15-£20 a week on that. No cat litter costs as they go outside . Then there is flea and worming treatments, we use the vet ones rather than the cheap ones but that's another £60 every 3 months or so.

I have 2 dogs and they are left home for 4/5 hours once every 5 weeks due to working patterns - a dog walker pops in on this day. Other than that they always have someone at home with them and it’s definitely needed!

My DS’s school have a therapy dog that is the SEN leads pet. She was bought 2 years ago and they have had to go through an official accreditation for this so it is an option.

Dogs are amazing but very needy. Cats may ruin furniture but are much easier. Although my previous cats never ruined any of my furniture but my husky did eat my sofa

We’ve had both over the years.
cat was cheaper £8-9 per month insurance for first few years. Dogs starting around £30 to100 towards last few years.
Dog will always be excited to see you & greet you at the door when you come home. Our Cat couldn’t give two hoots when you come home.
Energy levels and exercise levels differ with different dog breads. Not sure on cats only had one but our cat is happy to please herself. She goes out only in fair weather otherwise she’s not fussed.
The cat has scratched one armchair but damage is minimal in comparison to all the damage the dogs have done over the years.
Puppies get into everything but they can be contained in a pen or cage if you need to. Kittens are the same but they can also climb so that took us by surprise. Lots of things on tables and worktops the puppies wouldn’t have touched but these were fair game for the cat.
Ive found dogs much more affectionate. The cat is affectionate on her terms.
I’ve loved all my dogs dearly but I’m now team cat. She’s just so much easier to have around. Cats have everything they need at home, food water & litter tray. Day trips, holidays etc are so much easier and cheaper to organise. A long day at work or doesn’t require a trip home or a favour for someone to sort the dog out.

There is a special cat food called Purina Liveclear that helps humans with cat allergies. It binds the protein in their saliva so they cause less of a reaction. Obviously this is a bit of a gamble so shouldn’t be considered for someone with severe allergies.

There is no way to be sure that the dog you get will pass muster to be a "therapy dog".

I got my first dog last year, being very house proud and having never had pets. Suffice to say I had to take myself down a peg or two and realise that my home is no longer just mine - it's her home too.

I have changed parts of my life to accommodate her and although I'm very at ease into my new lifestyle now, I had wobbles!

She costs around £350 per month all in, but she is raw fed, only has pure 100% meat treats and attends day care a few times a month at £40 per day.

They're like children. Lots of smells, ridiculous noises, be very suspicious if it goes quiet and every so often you'll find something ridiculous has been done by them that costs money. Sometimes you'll have one that's an absolute angel, sometimes you'll have an adorable whirlwind of destruction who could fall over whilst sitting on the floor. But they're cute and love you lots.

However, somebody who is absolutely so ignorant (as in not understanding/knowing, not as a pejorative) of the realities of cat and dog behaviour would be entirely unsuitable as a therapy dog owner, as you need to understand their needs and their communication at all times.

A cat has less generalised care needed - once old enough, they'll get used to sleeping most of the day on a child's bed, behind the WFH DH in his chair, presiding over Zoom meetings and then waking up in time for the adored child to come home from school for snacks, games and night time cuddles. And you can book somebody to come in feed/play with them twice a day for very little cost if you go away.

Dogs have a greater propensity for spectacular disasters as they're out more, are usually bigger and are expected to interact with other people and animals. They also need more day to day interaction, walks, feeding, training, socialisation, have to go into kennels, aren't fans of litter trays and whilst a cat might - and only might, I've had one that did it and six over the years who didn't - claw the sofa or use a wooden table leg instead of the original tree trunk to sharpen their claws and have a good stretch as they have evolved to do, a dog is an animal that is perfectly capable of eating the sofa. With the associated vet bills for removal of cushion foam and buttons.

You'd be better off looking at a kitten than a puppy as a result. It's better to have a small animal with pointy bits on every corner who alternates between being middleaged and about eight and a half (the latter normally in the evening) when you're new to all this than having a hairy 5 year old with ADHD lolloping about for the next twelve years.

Pigeonqueen, I love that analogy! I've pretty much always had dogs and cats (and various other animals) sadly,no cat,last one died 2006. I have looked after DDS at my house when she's gone on holiday
We do have 2 dogs,border collies. I've had them since I was a child (have had another breeds) used to have 2 plus a Phalene
DH and I agreed we couldn't be without a dog. Last week, youngest was spayed,9 year.old teeth cleaned, plus extractions, almost £700
It's gone up a lot.we don't have insurance anymore,we did for the toy originally,it doubled very quickly, and the couple of things he went to a vet for,they wouldn't cover.we have had 3 dogs live to almost 18, including him
The rest were farm bred, pretty robust
I have vet plus,£20 per month each, food Lidl, kibble and tinned £30 per month roughly
We hadn't been away for 16 years, went to march,took the dogs. We worked up carefully to leaving the youngest, Christmas 5 hours visiting relatives,no problems, then she flew round jumping on furniture, moving cushions,mats
We put a wildlife camera in the living room to watch, they both barked 2 hours solid (thankfully we're detached! They have a dog flap and about 50foot of garden fenced off especially for them.our vet is 70 miles round trip (have tried local ones, not impressed) so the trip with the operations ,we left home at 7.15 to get them there and booked in for 9 went and had coffee and cake,quick shop, collecting them at 1.30, home at 2.45. The youngest has done a sneaky bit of chewing. You don't know what you are getting even in the same breed
I am fussy,house proud, open plan bungalow, we've got rid of most of the carpets, just rugs, the dogs shed 24/7.if you want to keep on top of that, and smells, you need to vacuum minimum 5 times a week we brush them, they hate it, same with their teeth.. we have a big garden, they get one run off lead and hour plus, and they really run! In winter, the beach because of mud. We live 10 minutes away from the beach, right opposite the South Downs,fields, forests,woods nearby. They're extra kids. Sometimes they get sick, throw up,get diarrhea, not often thankfully. We love them unconditionally and they love us.

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NeverDropYourMooncup, I absolutely love your post,it's brilliant!

Having had both dogs and cats, I would say that cats are easier to look after.
I don’t agree with indoor cats though and you could have a cat flap fitted, so they come and go as they wish.

Some of them do scratch furniture but cats with outdoor access would damage less and I would have indoor scratch posts as well.
Dogs are a different matter and in my opinion have to be considered a lot more, with regards to doing things spontaneously and days out etc where you can’t always take them.
They are like having a boisterous, needy, demanding toddler for the next 14 years.
I would never be without one and I absolutely dote on mine but luckily have family who help out with each others dogs.