Lab puppy with autistic 3yo and 4yo

[dillydallyinthealley]

Yes- we are crazy!
Our Pup has just been born and we bring him home in 8 weeks. I’ve been vigorously trawling the internet for tips.
I feel confident about settling puppy, but not so confident about how to get the kids ready. Does anyone have any tips about how to handle autistic (even worse- PDA profile) young children and a Labrador puppy?

I pick up the pieces of puppies bought like this. No reputable breeder should have sold you a dog. I hope you have a return to breeder section contract. All good ones do. I can’t imagine anyone would even send a puppy into an environment with kids your age and clearly clueless owner.

tell me this is a fake post PLEASE

seriously bad idea!!!

youngest kid was 5 when we got a puppy and it was HARD work. and we are experienced dog owners. We also did not pick a highly strung dog.

Any puppy will be a bloody nightmare, but a lab is just a recipe for disaster with such young children! please re- think!

9 months old and lives outside, gets an hour a day walk. Labs are active intelligent dogs. Your sister needs to rehome him

I have suggested rehoming, he gets a walk before work, short one, and an hour in the evening. Husband is coming and going during the day and teenagers home after school. So he gets more interaction, than just the walks, but I agree, these big dogs need farms or full time attention.

Well, it will be very tough, lab puppies are quite chaotic and need a lot of time. You’ll be toilet training so going outdoors every 15 mins or so. They need a lot of stimulation. They’ll steal your shoes, socks, dirty nappies if they can access them. They will eat any food dropped by the kids. They are bitey whilst they are young and playful. They may well cry at night and wake the kids. Be prepared for a couple of years of total chaos!
BUT if you can get through all that, they are literally the loveliest dogs ever, mine is the gentlest soul. She has never snapped or growled at anyone. She is thrilled to meet people, other dogs. She sleeps on our bed and gives great cuddles! Now she’s trained you can leave good out and she won’t steal it. Good Luck!

Totally agree with other posters, it would be irresponsible to go through with this - unfair to both the puppy and the children. Rescue centres are already bursting at the seams because so many people gravely underestimate how hard it is to properly look after and train a dog. Labradors are big, strong dogs with high intelligence and boundless energy; not a safe or enjoyable mix with very young children. Please rethink this.

With 2 autistic kids no doubt you are as well, which probably means you are fixated on this idea and won’t change your mind.

But please ask yourself how well are you coping with your children right now? Is it easy? Are they sleeping well, doing well at nursery/school? If you are struggling or stressed in any way it will only be amplified by adding a puppy, and that’s not fair on any of you.

Please don’t do this. The children, autistic or not, are much too young to understand how to behave around any puppy or baby animal. Any puppy, not only a big, boisterous Labrador, WILL hurt them in play, it will bite in play because they will be substituted for its litter mates, it will knock them over, it will chew and swallow the things they leave anywhere it can reach - food, toys, shoes, clothes, pens, the tv remote ( and batteries). It’s desperately unfair on the dog and the children, and you will not smile through it, you’ll see your home wrecked, your kids terrified, a stressed puppy not understanding why you’re stressed, and it will become a candidate forvrehoming when you should never have placed it into such a grossly unsuitable environment. And any breeder that would sell you a puppy -assuming you haven’t lied about the life you’re offering - is a rubbish breeder who cares only about the sale, not the welfare of the litter nor the safety of its prospective home..

Honestly, it’s an awful idea to bring a puppy into a home with two kids aged 3 and 4 at all, but two kids with autism and pathological demand avoidance? Fucking irresponsible. That poor little pup is going to have an awful time.

we have a very well adjusted 6 year old lab, and 2.5 year old and 8 month old children. For the first 3 years he was very very bouncy… despite loads of exercise. He’s never put a foot wrong with anyone or the kids. However, he goes to work outside with my husband all day and if for any reason he has to stay home with us for more than 2 days, with 3 walks a day, he starts to get bored. He also show type which are more laid back. OP I imagine your hands are already, full. Is this going to be fair on the dog?

This plan doesn’t sound fair to either the kids or the dog.

This is not fair on the dog or the children.

More so the dog as what’s to say what’s going to happen to the the poor thing when you realise it was all such a bad idea. He will probably end up in the rehoming system or even worse off and rescues are already overflowing and seriously struggling.

The puppy needs structure, teaching, love and so much patience and grit. None of which sound like something you can give him unfortunately

This was us 10years ago. Our lab is now 10 and we have two teenagers. The dog has given us so much unconditional love.

My tips:
Get a crate- Puppy needs lots of rest
Train the children- no arms around the neck/ head
No stairs for puppy, we put up a stair gate
Keep children's toys away from puppy
Get an antler type chew
We got a kong feeder to slow down feeding and make things fun!
Attend puppy training classes, puppy needs to socialise with other dogs

Enjoy every moment! I would do it all over again x

I love our dogs (spaniels) and ddog1 joined us when dc were 9 (twins) and 13. Honestly, for a few weeks my dc were neglected as dh and I were fully focused on puppy and totally sleep deprived. Dtd2 was terrified of the puppy because he was bitey! He’s now nearly 5 and amazing but it took a year to really feel adjusted. We now have a 5 month old puppy and dc are 13 and 17 and it’s been amazing because they are all old enough to help and share the training etc. it’s essentially like having a toddler you constantly have to watch while sleep deprived. Puppy number 2 is also easier because dog 1 is showing her the ropes, and she’s calmer in temperament. Still a puppy though and I think you’ve misjudged this decision.

My friend did this. The dog ended up with a broken leg when one of her children closed the door on it. Not long after it bit her poor DS, who was autistic and genuinely wasn’t able to read the dog’s body language. That was that.

OP you will love the dog, your children will love the dog, and both the dog and your children will get hurt. Don’t do it.

I have autistic DC and 2dogs incl 1 labrador.
When I got our dogs youngest DC was about 7 and both DC were not diagnosed until their teens.
Every autistic child is different but mine have never had a problem about being Kind, gentle and respectful around pets and not treating them like a toy, they've grown up with cats since birth, dogs were a later addition.
Many autistic people have a strong affinity to animals, preferring them to people and dogs can instinctively comfort an owner and be in tune with their emotions.
A puppy is hard work, need training, obviously it will need puppy pads initially, it may cry through the night, particularly on first few nights away from mum.
So they are hard work. But not as much work as children!
So be realistic about the time you and your partner have to train and walk the dog.
Labradors are high energy, needs lots of walks, 2 x 45 mins day mainly off lead if not more when young adult and as well as playtime. A well walked dog isn't usually destructive.
They are a bit mouthy, particularly if offering a treat, they will steal food unless trained not to, they will scavange on walks given half the chance.
They are large dogs with heavy waggy tails that can clear a coffee table and probably knock over a small child if barreling along at full speed.
They shed hair continually.
But they are loyal, loving dogs very motivated by treats and want to please you so easier to train than some breeds which are headstrong and don't care about treats!
They are lovely dogs but clearly a puppy is time consuming and hard work but any puppy will be.
Im sure your children will adore their puppy, good luck.

i didn’t ask whether we should do it. We have been researching and waiting for the right dog for years, I don’t work, kids are in a good space and good routine, finances steady, live in countryside. On reflection I should’ve posted in the SEN boards tbf. I’m ready for the life style change and the challenge. My kids love dogs and animals more than anythingand have been around them a lot (it’s both their special interest).

anyway, I won’t go on as I don’t need to justify our decision to you guys. Just looking for advice from people who’ve had dogs with autistic children and found tactics that work.

The advice was it doesn’t. Not at those ages.

Ah thank you for your response. We are used to chaos and manage it well. Excited for the challenge

Have you had dogs and autistic young children? Have you managed that relationship? Doubt it, as if you had you might have more to tell me about the experience.

Don't do it. That poor little dog.

Thank you for your lovely comment! People are laughing at me for already getting dates in the diary for 2-3 months away so I can socialise him with every dog I know 🤣 breeder breeds for guide dogs and autism support dogs, she is going to put us in touch with a trainer so he can be trained as a support dog for my youngest.
so glad you had a lovely experience overall, albeit hard. Life is not life without the hard bits though is it😊

Thank you that’s helpful actually- although they have quite a bit of experience around pets and have never been rough with any animal. They are quick to learn when not to do something too. It’s just direct commands that can be hard, and keeping the noise level low. I think the biggest problem we will face is my youngest being wary of the puppy due to nips. I’ve been trying to get him used to sharp/ nippy objects touching his skin- nipping with tongs and poking etc. he probably thinks I’m mental

Yes this totally what I expect. To be honest, getting the crazy years out of the way while things are already a tad crazy was kind of the attraction. We are prepared for another couple of years of chaos for what this dog can potentially offer our children and us. We are a strong team and hard times unite us. Thanks for your post :)