Heartbroken - help me please 😞😞

[KEvLA]

So I've had a cat from 8 weeks. She's 8 now.
This cat is the most loving cat I've ever had, on my lap, on (and in!) my bed. snuggles with me on the sofa with me and my babies/children.

I had to keep her outside due to fleas ( she still came in) and did all the above 🙈 less than ideal, I know.

Now, she won't come in, won't come near me, doesn't sleep on my bed and snuggle with me.
Doesn't bother with me in general. It's like I'm a stranger she doesn't like but tolerates.

I'm heartbroken 😞 devastated.

What can I do to win her back? I know cats are very hit and miss creatures but this cat was the most neediest cat - and I loved it.

My first thing would be vet check. Sudden changes in behaviour can indicate pain, or possibly pregnancy if she hasn’t been spayed.

then has anything changed at home? A fright maybe? Or possibly something like plug in air fresheners? Or is there chemical residue from the flea treatment?

she might just have had a taste of outside life and prefers it…or she could be sulking

When you say you ‘had to keep her outside due to fleas’, what do you mean? How long was she shut out, was she allowed in to sleep etc? Did you get her flea treatment - are you sure she’s not unwell?

Why did you keep her outside instead of treating the fleas?

The obvious question is why are you not treating the fleas?

You really should do that and allow the cat back inside. It's cruel to leave the cat outside covered in fleas.

This. When mine got fleas he got taken to the vets for treatment and was given a spray to keep them out of the house (lasts for approx a year). Did you mean you locked it actually outside the house?

I'm really not surprised it doesn't want to come in the house or come near you if you left it outside because it had fleas. You have effectively taught it it's not allowed in the house. Why didn't you just treat the fleas? (And then use on going prevention treatment) I have cats and would never leave them outside without being able to get in, regardless what was wrong with them.

I'm not 100 per cent but your post makes it sound like you shoved her outside when she got fleas?
So she's showing her distaste maybe

You "had to keep her outside due to fleas"? You sound horrible and I'm not surprised that she doesn't want anything to do with you.

We did treat the fleas 😞. Along with her "brother" - our other cat. I think she's pissed off at me, but how do I win her back? 💖

If you treated the fleas how long did you shut her out for? No winner she’s fallen out with you, cats are very temperament.

But how long did you keep her out - how did it go? Was it like, a week in summer? Or a month of rainy autumn coldness? Because exactly how you treated her makes a difference to how to get her to trust you again.

Is your other cat happy and the same? No difference in behaviour?

And are you sure she’s not unwell? Changes in behaviour of cats need a vet check.

You say she ‘won’t come in’ - at all? Where do you feed her?

You're heartbroken that you cat doesn't want to cuddle you? But not because she's infested with fleas? Take the poor thing back to the vets and get her properly looked at. Disgusting way to treat an animal.

This. Do you realise how selfish and ridiculous this post is op !

I can assure you she is definitely not infested with Fleas but obviously they have to be treated properly, house be sorted etc (they come back otherwise). She's not unwell, perfectly healthy on every way. I found out a couple of days ago, that a neighbour has ALSO, (as well as us )been feeding her (and another cat) not sure for how long, but it's definitely more than a few days as she's been coming in and it's been less and less over time.

Usually we would have 100% kept her on other than having a newborn who was being bitten.
We already had a baby in her environment who she was so affectionate with (she was happy for him to put bibs on her without a care in the world)
We also had another cat who was in exactly in the same circumstances. He's come back in, no issues. Still really affectionate.

She's in perfect health. She's not showing any signs of pain or discomfort and she allows me to pick her up (she's very placid) but she doesn't purr or headbutt me anymore

How long did you shut her outside for?

You're not answering how long you shut her out for so that makes me suspect it was a while. No wonder she's pissed off. Cats can get fleas you know, you just treat them.

I don't have a cat so not an expert, but don't you preemptively treat fleas? If you do and your DC was being bitten then that's on you for not treating first. Poor cat and DC

She was outside for summertime after being flead, still jumping in our cars while we cleaned them 🙈. but didn't mind it as loved the sunshine and being outside the same time as us. She still used to

Yes but it doesn't stop them getting Fleas in between you know? Especially with them being on the house (trying multiple ways to get the house fumigated).

We have a catflap. So always an opportunity to go on and put as she pleases

As you can see, she's outside. Catflap open, won't come to shaking biscuits, flea free, a bedroom of her own to sleep in - ignores me. Despite her pretty much sleeping on my face a few weeks ago and sleeping between my and my husband last night 😞

Yes, it does.

The vast majority of flea treatments keep fleas away for 4-6 weeks. In fact, all prescription treatments work for a minimum of 4 weeks after which they are supposed to be repeated.

If you think it is okay to lock a cat outside for the entirety of summer you really shouldn't have pets and ought to consider giving the ones you have to a rescue where they can be cared for properly.

You hit the nail on the head there, MOST.
I've had to frequently change treatments because some of them become immune to the fleas.

As I said earlier, the cats have a catflap and have been allowed in when they've wanted and flead (they're fine with being picked up and checked).

However, when you invent a perfect flea treatment, drop me a message. I'd love to buy some 😀