Heartbroken - help me please 😞😞

[KEvLA]

So I've had a cat from 8 weeks. She's 8 now.
This cat is the most loving cat I've ever had, on my lap, on (and in!) my bed. snuggles with me on the sofa with me and my babies/children.

I had to keep her outside due to fleas ( she still came in) and did all the above 🙈 less than ideal, I know.

Now, she won't come in, won't come near me, doesn't sleep on my bed and snuggle with me.
Doesn't bother with me in general. It's like I'm a stranger she doesn't like but tolerates.

I'm heartbroken 😞 devastated.

What can I do to win her back? I know cats are very hit and miss creatures but this cat was the most neediest cat - and I loved it.

My "locked out cat" during the summer - my baby was born in August btw. As you can see, she's still really affectionate here and has absolutely no issues with there being another human brought home..last one of her is waiting in the toilet with me 🙈

So what's your issue then? What's the point of your post if you have all these photos to prove how happy and cared for she is at home? Maybe have you considered she's just being a cat and doing what cats do? They can be aloof, it's perfectly normal not to want to be all over their owners cuddling and jumping for joy every time they see them!

so you didn't lock her out all summer? Did you lock her out at all? If not, why did you say you did? If you did, why are you saying now you didn't?

I guess the point of my post is to how do I win her affectionate nature back after those things?

You aren't making sense at all. She was shut out all summer but still had access to the cat flap? If she had access to the cat flap she wasn't shut out was she.

Sounds like she wasn't allowed in for 6 weeks, and I don't blame her for not being warm or trusting you. It actually breaks my heart that anyone could do that tbh. They may spend a lot of time outside in the summer, but you took away her home and safety net for a long time. She's quite rightly pissed off and confused about who her family is.

You broke her trust. They still get fleas despite treatments, the treatments just kill the fleas they do get but it doesn’t stop them hitching a ride and having a munch on the cat.

Putting them out is a bit “1970’s Winson Green” (I can say that my mum was born there before anyone says anything)

How odd thst you "had to keep her outside because of fleas" how did she get the fleas in the first place? How long were you you leaving her outside for? Something sounds odd here

From what I've read it's pretty dn obvious, she doesn't trust you anymore, and rightly so! You don't kick a pet out for having fleas!! If this is how you view flea treatment then you should not be a pet owner

I might be able to advise an effective treatment, we used to have 7 cats and were really struggling with breaking the lifecycle of fleas until our vet recommended NexGuard Spectra which has finally worked. They've been on it for a couple of years now and our home is free of the pesky invaders.
It does have to be administered every 4-5 weeks and is prescription only so it's economical to buy a repeat prescription from the vet and then source the meds online: VetUK are excellent.
Indorex spray is great for carpets and rugs but bearing in mind you have babies, use with caution.

With the affection being withdrawn, it is really troubling and I can relate to that. All you can do is stroke her when she lets you, give her Dreamies or whatever treats she enjoys, don't be too 'in her face' talk to her and feed her yourself when she comes in.
You're probably doing all of these things so just give it time.
The neighbour feeding your cat is a huge nuisance and we have the same issue - I've resorted to paying out for a tracking device and subscription to resolve this once and for all.
Good luck with everything

Good heavens, you're making no sense at all! Your poor cat is probably confused as hell! You said you locked her out for the summer, but with access to the catflap, does that mean she was actually only outside for as long as she wanted to be and then came in through the catflap? How was she locked outside if you have pictures of her from August – next to a newborn baby, and sitting on someone's clothes?! How is that helping to get rid of the fleas?

Sorry, should clarify - in once fleas treated - a week or so, then access to catflap hence photosv(she chose to stay outside as loved the sunshine and summer). Recently, neighbour feeding her and letting her in (taken my responsibility from me - btw she was/is fed twice a day by me/husband) as a result she's lost her affectionate nature for me, seems withdrawn from me.

Fab flea advice. Will definitely look at a prescription as we have 3 cats.

I'm definitely doing all those things that you suggested. Its hard to go from a ridiculously needy and loving cat to a cat who's aloof.

The neighbour thought she was doing us a favour as we work 😬. I work part-time from home and have recently come back from maternity leave so we have plenty of time to feed her 🙄.

You read my mind when you mentioned a tracking device but I don't know if I'll piss her off by putting a collar on her 🙈