Rehomed cat and devastated

[Starlight92]

Hello, firstly thanks for listening to me ramble! I have just rehomed my cat and I am absolutely heartbroken. I am currently living with my partner (and his family....not the best situation, I know!) who has a young daughter (she doesn’t live here but comes to visit once a week). To cut a long story short, we have been together for two and a half years (saving for our own house) and his daughter has recently started showing allergic symptoms to my cat, Sammy.

I don’t have much family myself so don’t really have any alternative living arrangements at the moment, so I have really been pushed into a situation I’m really uncomfortable with. I have had to rehome my lovely cat with my partner’s sister - who is lovely but has two children (sammy is not used to kids and gets quite nervous around them). He has so far been living there about a week and a half and so far will only come out when the kids are at school, and is so far definitely not keen on them. He would never hiss or show aggression (he’s a sweetie and wouldn’t hurt a fly), but will stay in a bedroom whilst they’re around. I feel absolutely devastated and keep worrying he won’t settle in and will be miserable.

I know I’m very lucky I am still able to see him, but feel a bit selfish for homing him there now. I am so upset I’ve been considering taking him back and moving out, but this would mean my partner and myself could essentially never live together. I kicked a huge fuss about rehoming sammy in the first place, but my partner is concerned his daughters allergies could be dangerous (and he has troubles with his ex too which makes the situation worse).

Anyway - sorry for the long rant! I am just concerned sammy will never get used to his new home and I’ve made a massive mistake, I am just so heartbroken and miss him so much  Any advice would be so appreciated!

Hi Starlight,
That's so sad for you but give him time to settle in. What symptoms does your sd display to the cat? Does she have a condition that makes a cat allergy dangerous for her?

No advice but I'm sure it was a very hard decision and I hope he gets used to his new home soon. I'm afraid I would have picked my cats over the man, so no help there!

Are you sure it's an allergy to the cat and nothing else? Has she been tested?

Are you sure she’s allergic to the cat? Has she been tested? What have you tried to alleviate the symptoms? I’d be hard pressed to rehome my pets if my own children were allergic to them

What's wrong with an antihistamine? I'm allergic to our cat and an AH, keeping on top of the hoovering/dusting/keeping out of my sleeping area it's manageable.

@SunnySideDownBriefly

Hi Starlight, That's so sad for you but give him time to settle in. What symptoms does your sd display to the cat? Does she have a condition that makes a cat allergy dangerous for her?

Thank you! Unfortunately she gets a really red, rashy face and her eyes swell up. Her mum is very protective too and won't let her come round until the cat is gone

I'd get the cat back and ask he takes daughter elsewhere if they can't be bothered to use antisimeties (I can't spell sorry 😂).
No way would I rehome a cat for a child that isn't even mine and may not even stay with partner forever. Sorry if that's a bit blunt. Big hugs to you OP you obviously want your cat back.

@gamerchick

What's wrong with an antihistamine? I'm allergic to our cat and an AH, keeping on top of the hoovering/dusting/keeping out of my sleeping area it's manageable.

Thank you for this. Unfortunately she has been tested and she is allergic to cats. If it were my child I would absolutely be up for trying the antihistamines, etc but I don't have a say which is very frustrating. The ex is very unreasonable too and will stop her from seeing her dad if she is around the cat. He is also concerned the allergy could be really dangerous

@bookworm29x

I'd get the cat back and ask he takes daughter elsewhere if they can't be bothered to use antisimeties (I can't spell sorry 😂). No way would I rehome a cat for a child that isn't even mine and may not even stay with partner forever. Sorry if that's a bit blunt. Big hugs to you OP you obviously want your cat back.

I am seriously considering it now! I agree. It's very frustrating, but I don't have a say as it's not my house. Very pushed into a corner here!

I’m allergic to cats but own one.

We got her 8 years ago for my daughter but 5 years ago I became alergic. I don’t ever stroke her or pick her up and she isn’t allowed to sleep on my bed and I’ve never had a problem except when I cleaned her bed and that set me off so my husband does that.

I get a reaction now and then but rarely more than a sniffle so just take a antihistamine now and again.

The cat will be fine and many go away to sleep when the kids are home, especially if the kids are young

Move OP. If you can. Then get Sammy back.

Your partner clearly doesn't care about your feelings to not even try medication for his daughter.

The ex is very unreasonable too and will stop her from seeing her dad if she is around the cat.

Sorry, but the ex is definitely not being unreasonable. The child is allergic to cats and her reaction to them is quite serious. Rashes and her eyes swelling up is a major reaction. I wouldn't subject my child to that either.

I'd get the cat back and dump your boyfriend.

@bookworm29x

I'd get the cat back and ask he takes daughter elsewhere if they can't be bothered to use antisimeties (I can't spell sorry 😂). No way would I rehome a cat for a child that isn't even mine and may not even stay with partner forever. Sorry if that's a bit blunt. Big hugs to you OP you obviously want your cat back.

Same here. But then, when I was single and childfree I wouldn't go out with a man who had kids. Wouldn't have rehomed him at all for some bloke and his kid.

Yep, I'd get Sammy back & ditch the spineless partner (if he's going to allow his Ex to rule your roost forever, you life will be miserable).

I know that means you need to find somewhere else to live, but I'd see that as a bonus!

Sorry another one that would choose the cat. It's not just Sammy, you'll never be allowed another cat and what sort of life is that

I'd get my own place and get my cat back. Nothing to stop you seeing each other still.

Me and my cat come as a package.. You don't want the cat? Well you don't get me without her. End of.

I’m allergic to cats. I have two.
I wouldn’t rehome my cat. I take antihistamines. Wash hands after touching the cats and keep them off my pillow!
I would be moving out. And getting my cat back.

I’d look into alternative living arrangements, where you could stay with your cat. I’d choose a loyal pet over a bloke.

@CatChant

I'd get my own place and get my cat back. Nothing to stop you seeing each other still.

I probably would do that too, but I'm not you.

Sammy doesn't sound happy and you sound upset. Is his new family making any positive effort to help him adjust?

Another one who would dump the boyfriend and keep the cat.

Me too, pet far more important than boyfriend.

Man over cat absolutely no way, particularly if they were there first

Another vote for cat over boyfriend etc. I’m probably a bad person to ask, as l can’t think of anything worse than shacking up with a man and his children!