Really struggling with puppy!

[Munkeyface]

10 weeks old.
First dog.
I have literally no idea what I am doing with him.

He is sleeping overnight so I'm not overly tired.

Had a 121 with a trainer last week who set me up with a regime.
It's very strict and very Gina ford. 3 hours awake 3 hours crate time during day.
So I am getting a break from him.
Toileting is going ok, very few accidents.

The hours that he is awake I struggle with. He runs around the house, rarely stays in one spot. Doesn't seem interested in any toys. I play with him stroke him etc, we have taught him how to sit.
Tried to carry him down our road earlier but he started barking so came back after five minutes.

The children spend most of the time away from him as he growls and mouths them constantly. Rarely lets them stoke him.
Luckily it's been nice weather so we can go in the garden and he roams around.

I am not naive, I understood it would be hard work but I honestly thought he would be slightly more interactive.

I spend the 3 hours counting down to when he next goes in his crate.

I'm just not enjoying him.

Am I supposed to spend every minute playing with him?

I am just going through the motions everyday - seems relentless!

What breed is he.

Maybe he's got too much energy from being crated for 3 hours at a time.

When mine was a puppy he basically follewed us around, played with toys and chased stuff or cuddled up to us or napped.

Have you tired a range of toys. Did you see him with his litter. Was he the mental boisterous one. If so, you picked the wrong dog. How long has he been with you, he might still be adjusting to you.

What is the problem with him running around the house and barely being in one spot?
Our 7month old has never been into toys really or interactive playing. She just likes to do her own thing so we just let her then when she is tired out she either finds a lap or a spot on the floor to nap. She us happy out with that. Obviously we walk her too.

I have no experience of forcing dogs to nap by putting them in a crate in a set routine though so maybe its different when you don't let them choose what they do and when.

He’s still a baby. What breed is he?

Brain games and teaching him things will wear him out. You could also fill kongs to wear him out. If he’s being nippy, all carry a toy about and put it in his mouth.

The puppy blues are real.

Nothing wrong at all with him running around the house.

The children want to play with him but he's not interested so they withdraw to their playroom with the door closed. I feel like I don't see them anymore. They are 10 and 12.

He is from the Bichon family . A supposed perfect family breed.
He is ruining the family at the moment.

We all wanted him.
However,
My husband doesn't want to come home after work anymore to listen to me crying about a dog. I'm snapping at the children
I can't see light at the end of the tunnel.

I am confused about why they say he should be spending 3 hours in a crate at a time. He is a 10 week old puppy. He has endless energy. What did the trainer give as a reason for the 3 hours crating? It equates to him spending half his day in a crate. He is running around like a lunatic because he has insane energy. My spaniel is 2 and only started walking around the house as opposed to running at about 1 year old. He didnt sit still unless he was sleeping for about 18 months.

With regards to mouthing, always have toys near that the kids can give him to mouth on whenever he tries to mouth them. He will grow out of that. His teeth are growing in so mouthing will be a thing for another few months but it will eventually stop.

When you say you imagined he would be more interactive, do you mean playing with toys? Some pups take a while to realise what toys are for and it sometimes depends on how much the breeder played with them before you got them. Then again, some dogs dont do toys at all. He may just be more interested in you guys and running around exploring than his toys at the minute.

He’s a baby, he wants attention, companionship and entertaining then, when’s he’s tired, he will flop on the floor to sleep. He will wake up to play when he’s ready, it’s crazy to have to a 3 hour schedule, he must be really overwhelmed and confused.
Having a puppy is exhausting but he shouldn’t be locked away for 3 hours at a time.

themuttyprofessor.co.uk/2017/07/20/crate-debate-crate-not-crate/

It does get easier but it does take a couple of months hard work.

I agree with @Blankblankblank. It is seriously hard going. I hated my pup for the first 2 months after getting him (but I did have morning sickness at the time which wasnt helped by him pooing everywhere), but we put serious work into him and he is now a fantastic family dog who is currently snoozing on my feet.

I have always said to people I would have 10 kids before having a puppy again. Its so hard, but its worth it.

No idea the rational for 3 hour crating!
Apparently they are better behaved if rested!

Can someone please share a typical puppy day??
I've just no idea what to do anymore

Was the three hours meant so he could sleep?

Some dogs take a while with toys. But you and the kids need to keep trying to bond with him. He really is only a baby and he and the family need to all settle into a routine a bit like when you have a new baby. Our dog is 18 months now and has only just gotten into playing with a ball.

Make sure you get recommendations with your trainer as it’s an unregulated industry so you could get anyone.

I’d have this post moved to the doghouse on here as you’ll find loads of people with young pups.

Puppies dont really have a routine like a kid. They just run around investigating the house or being petted or chewing shoes until they get exhausted and then they sleep wherever they happen to be standing. They will sleep when they are tired. You just try to get some training in throughout the day so they get used to controlling themselves a bit, like sitting, lying down, rolling over, all rewarded with treats and maybe one of those clicker things. But thats only 15 or so minutes of you day. In between breakfast and bedtime they just do what they want.

Our puppy would have hated that crate time. She did everything with us and slept when she was tired. Your children are a good age to be taught to be really patient with any biting as ours were and learnt to play with the right toys so they weren’t hurt . Puppies need to do it to explore and rather than fight or avoid it I’d find ways to make it fun and positive . And thank goodness it really doesn’t last that long.

That came across wrong as I’m sure your DC are being great, I just meant it’s helpful to play with long toys for example so they can stay away from the teeth !

I can sort of see where the trainer has got 3 hours of crate time from.
When our dog Margaret was tiny, she played (chased a sweeping brush and bit us constantly) in the garden for a couple of hours and then I would put her to bed in her crate. I would literally sit there with her and hold her paw until she went to sleep. It was like having a baby! I kept that up quite strictly and then it became a habit eventually. She's grown up now and slinks off there herself. I think they need to be taught that they are tired and what to do about it.

I found freezing stuff in kongs was good for focussing them a bit and helping them with sore gums. Along with hiding kibble in cardboard recycling boxes- not sure if yours is greed-driven but might be worth a go?

It gets easier, honestly. The first few weeks are the worst as it sinks in quite how much your whole world has changed. But stick with it, it will pass!

The Bichon family? That’s quite a few breeds, all
Of which have slightly different temperaments. Would be helpful to know which. How long have you had him?
Have you spoken to the breeder? They should be able to help guide you through this.

Our puppy day at 10 weeks went something along the lines of:
6am wake and wee with my toddler.

6:30 breakfast
Play through the morning- mixture of normal daily activities and occasional play with toys. Try to stop her being a Hoover for rubbish on the floor. My 2 year old would play with her or cuddle her. She become involved in our playtime as a family

10:30 brunch
Play again for a while with an activity to get the brain working, smelling things, going on a bus or in a car etc to get her acclimatised to various different things. Take her to the beach, a forest, in a shop just to get her exposed to loads of different noises and smells

2:30 lunch
She usually crashed after lunch and slept from 2:30 to around 4:30 with my 2 year old.

Wake up and Play again for a few hours usually have zoomies as she has more energy after her sleep. We used to run around a lot at this time

6:30 tea
6:30 until bed we practiced clicker training once my 2 year old was in bed. Simple commands like sit and paw, down, come, roll over and also acclimatised to teeth brushing and fur combing as well as trimming nails etc (she’s a long haired breed so needed to be used to regular grooming and cutting)

We obviously also had toilet training going on throughout the day (she has a bell she rings for us to open the door) and once a day we started crate training. This was gradual so she was in the crate with the door open and plenty of treats but she could chose to leave, then once she hit around 5 months for longer periods of time with the door open.
Once it was established the crate was a good space in her mind, we then had the door closed for short amounts of time and built up time. We got up to 30 minutes before we started leaving her in the crate with it closed other than bedtime and this was usually after lunch when she was tired anyway. We no longer use a crate, once she was old enough we started leaving her downstairs and she’s been fine ever since (dog camera shows us)
She’s now 3 so these are all approximations of timings but probably right as she had to fit in with my daughters naps and things at the time. She’s really well adjusted and there were times I wanted to give up but a schedule really helped and to be honest the kids should probably be helping too; I always did when I was young and there was a puppy in the house

You seem to be doing fine. Our dog was the same. Didn’t like people in their face and was a bit stand offish, didn’t cuddle up etc. Eventually started to interact and play but would still mouth and play rough because it’s a puppy. I think sometimes people are disappointed that they aren’t all cuddles but each dog is different and now our dog (my mother’s really) does cuddle in of an evening and loves her people.

Just had a meltdown in front of the children.
Finding this so hard.

OP, what exactly are you finding hard? Try and tell us what the specific problems are. Everything is fixable and at 10 weeks the pup is young enough to easily establish good habits. What thoughts are making you feel like its incredibly hard?

I’m no expert but I honestly sympathise, puppies are draining.
My advice would be focus on how to get him to the point where he wants nothing more than to sleep for a couple of hours. I.e. chase them round the garden, get them to run round as much as possible and burn out. Liking toys will come over time but I’d say try and get as many different types of toys as possible to find his preference, our dog only liked soft squeaky toys when she was pup for example. Tie an old long sock/dressing gown rope in knots and try get him to chase it dragged along the floor. Fill a plastic bottle with dog biscuits and crumple it up but leave the lid off so chasing it slowly releases treats
I just made my main focus tiring her out (tired puppy=cuddles=bonding and 5 mins of peace)
It gets better, don’t give up. If you can get through the first few months without giving in you’ll have a lovely adult dog soon😊

You've has the pup for a max of 2 weeks so he's only just settling in, he needs a routine and to learn to cope alone so the crate time is no bad thing, but it needs to be done properly so he's settled and enjoying the crate, not trapped in it. You'll probably need to build up gradually. I'm not sure your trainer really understands puppy development...

Outside of this he needs proper socialisation - meeting other people dogs, traffic, vets, different places, surfaces and getting used to being touched around his mouth ears, get and bottom. He also needs play, rewards for calm quiet behaviour, exercise, toys.

Dogs are full on, but it's difficult to advise without more specific info.

Frozen carrots and cucumber for puppy's teeth. They really help. Also frozen teatowels.

Also, can't possibly advise on training etc without a photo.

I can sympathise. Husband desperate for a dog .. I conceded . I don’t dislike her but I do find it tiresome and our energy doesn’t match .

7am wake up . Sleeps most of the day with 3-5 mad intervals where we have to stop what we’re doing and play /train . If we go out she is crated for up to 2 hours at a time and just goes to sleep no . Because of covid we are at home most of the day normally. In crate for Bed at 10pm sleeps through the night.

I agree crate training is important for puppies . They’re like toddlers and can’t calm themselves and need you to give me a little time out to nap . I think lots of the energy is overtired .

He goes quite happily in his crate for the 3 hours. He doesn't moan or whine at all.

My children said what is the point of having him if he is locked away for 6 hours of the day.

He jumped at my daughter earlier and drew blood which was the catalyst for my tears. They just want to play with him but he just isn't interested.