Really struggling with puppy!

[Munkeyface]

10 weeks old.
First dog.
I have literally no idea what I am doing with him.

He is sleeping overnight so I'm not overly tired.

Had a 121 with a trainer last week who set me up with a regime.
It's very strict and very Gina ford. 3 hours awake 3 hours crate time during day.
So I am getting a break from him.
Toileting is going ok, very few accidents.

The hours that he is awake I struggle with. He runs around the house, rarely stays in one spot. Doesn't seem interested in any toys. I play with him stroke him etc, we have taught him how to sit.
Tried to carry him down our road earlier but he started barking so came back after five minutes.

The children spend most of the time away from him as he growls and mouths them constantly. Rarely lets them stoke him.
Luckily it's been nice weather so we can go in the garden and he roams around.

I am not naive, I understood it would be hard work but I honestly thought he would be slightly more interactive.

I spend the 3 hours counting down to when he next goes in his crate.

I'm just not enjoying him.

Am I supposed to spend every minute playing with him?

I am just going through the motions everyday - seems relentless!

Just seen you’re only a few weeks in. This time is intense and is basically a full time job. Yes when he is not crated you need to give them 100% supervision and control their environment and access to things they want. A few months in it got much easier.

I’d recommend getting a book like the perfect puppy and getting your head around positive reinforcement training . This was an eye opener for me in terms of understanding the dogs motivations and behaviour.

I’d also suggest a trainer that has specialist insight into your breed . They all seem to be so different in what motivates them .

Get booked into some puppy classes . It’s also a bit of a help group !

Have you misunderstood? Surely your trainer simply meant expect him to go to his crate to sleep when he decides he wants to (but for about three hours). You can’t schedule a puppy. My puppy is now 15 months and only just getting into balls (although he’s always liked a cuddly toy). When he was very little he wanted to mainly sit and cuddle/sleep or wander around exploring and sniffing and chewing

I would also recommend a proper puppy class where you can also bring your kids so they can learn how best to interact with him. This would also help them bond with him. I do agree that being locked away 6 hours a day when you are at home seems a little excessive. I 100% agree with crate training but that doesnt mean they are excluded from the family for 6 hours during the day and then also locked up at night time. Some research may give you some more ideas about how to crate train differently.

With drawing blood, thats kind of to be expected. He is a puppy with no impulse control and teeth like pins. Kids can easily get caught in the middle while playing as both kid and puppy dont know how to properly play. Using toys as much as possible works as a good barrier between kids hands and puppy teeth. Also, again a puppy trainer will give advice on how to safely play, but its more about teaching the kids what to do rather than training the puppy.

I promise its all temporary and fixable. Try think of it like having a newborn. Its overwhelming but it all works out with planning, perseverance, and googling.

Personally I would get rid of the routine and make him fit in to your family routine and life.
Leave him to occupy himself with the crate door left open for a few days and see what he does and what he needs.
I'm not a dog trainer but I have had several dogs from puppies who have been perfect in every way (it will happen for you.). It's so easy to over think things. Try going right back to basics. I really hope things improve and you can enjoy him.

Sorry, I just realised you said he didnt want to play but the kids did. If he snapped at the kids then you 100% need a puppy trainer as it may be a case of the kids just need to learn how to interact with him. Puppies arent toys and sometimes their personality means they may not want to play, especially if the kids are getting quite close etc.

I am all for crate training but your trainer is NUTS!!! Don't do that to a a puppy!!! (Or any dog)

That's over rested so when you're letting him out he'll bring completely off the wall nuts

When puppy is tired put him in the crate to sleep. But let him out when he's awake!

The excessive time in the crate is what is causing hyper puppy

What kind of Bichon? We had one and he was adorable but hard as a puppy. Never crated as he loved company and had to be next to you. Tiring to start with but amazing company for 16 years.

He is a Havanese

Hi op you don’t say whether you’ve had dogs before but they are incredibly hard work. My lab pup woke me up every two hours for the first two weeks. I used a crate because he chewed everything in site otherwise, including us. When I took it down he cried for a week. He wouldn’t go to the loo outside, only inside. He bit us until he drew blood, I paid for a behaviourist who told us off for choosing a breed we knew nothing about and blamed us entirely for halving an unruly pup.. It took a few months of hard work, but he is the best dog ever...apart from his cat poo fetish.
He pulled over picnic tables, me, knocked people over, he was a complete nightmare. He had hundreds of pounds spent on training and vet bills, are and rolled in cow poo. Tore his knee when he jumped off some cliffs at the beach - which cost me £5,000. I felt like crying, he was so naughty but I also loved him. Now he’s older, he has kidney disease and needs to be let out during the middle of the night. It’s basically another child.
You don’t sound like you have love for this dog... or enjoyment and neither do your family. Do you really want a dog?

A reputable breeder should take the puppy back, but please don’t wait too long as when he’s a dog no one will want him.

Good luck whatever you decide.

You’re not alone....
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/the_doghouse/3993852-I-cant-cope-with-this?pg=2

We have a 12 weeks old cane corso. He is the devil when over tired. We make sure he has regular meal times and rest times. Plenty of play and plenty of his own space too. He’s a menace with the nipping but he’s a baby and learning what he can and can’t eat. He’s affectionate and playful 85% of the time and a pain in the bum the rest but that usually if he’s been kept awake so really it’s our fault. We are used to dogs though and he’s not our first puppy, he is our 7th dog so we were very much prepared

The only time our dog wears in his crate was at bedtime- he had access to the kitchen and sitting room- we took him outside whenever he started to ‘sniff about’ meaning he wanted a wee- but other than that he would play a bit- fall asleep- play a bit and fall asleep on us.etc etc. This is the hardest part now so just hold on! It will get easier

He is only allowed in the kitchen, tv room and hallway.
The children lock themselves away in their playroom.
He seems to be on a 1.5 hour cycle before he gets tired. Maybe this is when I should be crating him.

The thought of 1.5 hrs of biting and nipping and keeping him away from the children still sounds hard.
Our garden is massive and although secure I can't let him roam free out there just yet. I'd never find him.

Our trainer said puppies need somewhere between 16-18 hours a day sleeping. We do one hour mucking about as puppy directs and a few minutes here and there of Trainibg games - and then I do my best to make sure everyone ignores her for an hour/hour+ to let her rest. And repeat. Bit like managing a toddler really - you need to spot they are tired before they meltdown.

Her behaviour and how engaged she is is directly related to how much rest she's had.

It's all gone to pot today however and she's zooming around as I type 🙄

My youngest (dog) is now six months, she arrived in the midst of lockdown and it really was hellish, then I remembered at points the hellish times with my older dog.

The do get better. I mostly keep mine away from the kids in the day, she roams the kitchen and sleeps in her crate.

In the evenings she runs round like a maniac and then by the time I've finished cleaning she comes and curls up on my lap. There have been times I regretted getting a puppy but it's a phase that doesn't last long, they grow up a lot quicker than children!

Opal extra my children barely have any interaction with him as he just growls and mouths them which at times acres them.
They were desperate for a dog and I now feel this special time has been ruined by their mummy crying and the dog acting like a crazy demon half the time

For goodness sake OP just start looking for a respectable rescue now, you clearly don't know the first thing about dogs and are looking for a way out. Poor poor pup.

Literally no patience with this nonsense. Do your research before you buy. 🙄🙄

Puppies have needle sharp teeth and sharp claws. Children need to be supervised with them at all times, taught to play calmly and to redirect all mouthing/biting into an appropriate toy.

Use socialisation, short training sessions and nosework to tire him out - learning about the world is exhausting!

Havanese are an energetic breed and also prone to separation anxiety so learning to spend time alone for short period will be essential.

That's helpful skyliner, I could write a thesis on the amount of research I did beforehand!
I had a clear plan on how i was going to manage the pup.
The reality of a tiny growling menace constantly biting the limbs of my 'stood like a tree' children trying to pull it off whilst they are being brave and not crying.
It is hard.

You can get there OP but it’s a hard slog especially if you’ve never had a dog before. Does your partner support you with the dog? It’s a huge amount of work for one person to manage.

Do you have lots of treats and chews around to use . If puppy is distracted by training and nice treats that could help. Again it’s lots of effort !

The biting is expected although somehow we avoided it with DH doing some kind of training called bite inhibition sure you can google it and see the techniques . She is always chewing something but thankfully it has never been us. We let out a huge yelp and distracted her when she did it once or twice in the early days and that seemed to be enough.

You can't really plan a schedule for a tiny puppy though, they won't just fit into it! I have 5 dogs aged between 3 years and 3 months. They all have entirely different personalities and needs. They'd be bouncing off the walls too if they were crated 6 hours a day! As for chewing on hands, puppies do that, it's mostly standard behaviour as they're teething at that age. I find a frozen carrot is great to help with teething. Your DC aren't tiny so they just need to be a little firmer and keep their fingers away from puppies mouth or perhaps a rag toy that puppy can bite and they can play tug of war.

I highly doubt a 10 week old puppy is trying to rip your children's limbs off.
Why on earth are you crating him like that?? No wonder he is running around like mad, you would if you were caged for 3 hours regularly for no reason.

What was your clear plan on how to manage the pup?
Is it what you're implementing now?
If not, why not/what changed?
Just gathering information to try and understand how to help and why you're finding it so hard

Clear plan in terms of I knew puppy would bite so we were prepared - taught children correct response etc. Just doesn't seem to work in reality.
I suppose I was naive in that I thought the first few weeks he would sleep and enjoy cuddles and gradually build up to this behaviour.
It has been an assault on the household! Probably having the children around all the time doesn't help as they want to play and interact but it is not welcomed