Really struggling with puppy!

[Munkeyface]

10 weeks old.
First dog.
I have literally no idea what I am doing with him.

He is sleeping overnight so I'm not overly tired.

Had a 121 with a trainer last week who set me up with a regime.
It's very strict and very Gina ford. 3 hours awake 3 hours crate time during day.
So I am getting a break from him.
Toileting is going ok, very few accidents.

The hours that he is awake I struggle with. He runs around the house, rarely stays in one spot. Doesn't seem interested in any toys. I play with him stroke him etc, we have taught him how to sit.
Tried to carry him down our road earlier but he started barking so came back after five minutes.

The children spend most of the time away from him as he growls and mouths them constantly. Rarely lets them stoke him.
Luckily it's been nice weather so we can go in the garden and he roams around.

I am not naive, I understood it would be hard work but I honestly thought he would be slightly more interactive.

I spend the 3 hours counting down to when he next goes in his crate.

I'm just not enjoying him.

Am I supposed to spend every minute playing with him?

I am just going through the motions everyday - seems relentless!

Puppies are nuts. Our cocker did the wall of death around our sitting room every night for two years. She was so fast all you'd see is a brown streak. She's much calmer now she's 3. It's hard going I hope you find coping strategies.

Puppies are hard work but please hang in there, your dog will soon become part of your family and you'll never remember what it's like not having a loving dog in your life!

I'd ditch the 3 hour crate thing, puppy needs to be free to play and roam and nap on your laps.

Get a range of toys and a range of chewy things like pigs ears or something they can spend hours gnawing on and keeping themselves occupied.

OP, I think you need to consult a different trainer or even a behaviourist if you are very worried, and do it now before this goes on too long and the pup needs rehomed. They will help you to introduce your puppy and children and help them become friends. Realise though that 99% of puppies stay nippy for quite some time! I have had three and been very close to many others and they all nipped.

Is your puppy affectionate towards you? You say its hard to keep the puppy away from the children, what do you mean by this? Is he going for them aggressively, trying to play with them, or just curious and going to check them out?

I agree with the other posters that the crating is very excessive and is probably why your pup is bouncing off the walls. My puppies were never crated with me being home, they went willingly to bed when they were tired and got up as they pleased. Mostly they spent the day toodling around after me, playing with me or random objects (notably: slippers lol) and doing short training sessions.

Absolutely nuts to expect a very young pup to be crated for 3 hours at a time. They will mouth and nip, it’s what they do, and growling is often a playful thing in a pup

Stop being a wimp and get some proper information and training advice - it’s a pup not a sabre toothed tiger - or just take him back to the breeder and don’t get another pet again

OPi hope some advice heee is helpful but above all you are doing your best and I feel for you and it really is a phase when it’s this hard as the playing really does calm down. Hang on in there and ignore anyone unsupportive as it can be hard enough this early on - I just want to encourage you it’s worth it as we just couldn’t be without our dog who is the best ever addition to life and like you it was quite daunting at times and needed great patience and kindness when she was little! Keep going and o hope you can encourage the children it’ll be ok too

You have a toddler who is going through a tricky stage in a situation they are struggling to make sense of. There’s lots you can do:

Nipping
I tied toys on strings so we could play with her and keep our fingers away.
I’d also get everyone to respond with a loud ouch every time she nips any part of them including shoes and clothes. You need to tell pup it hurts. I stand with Dd and support her telling the pup no if it starts up. Show her what to chew instead.

Sleep
No one touches the dog in her crate unless it’s needed
Crate her when she’s overtired/crazy and nipping a lot to have a snooze. A well rested pup is a happy friendly pup. The schedule clearly isn’t working for her.

Show her what you want
Show her love and calmness. They respond to your energy. She could well be responding to the collective misery and you need to fake it with her.
Can you walk her outside? She may need this stimulation. Is there dogs she can mix with who can show her the ropes? Older dogs will discipline puppies if you can find one with good maternal instincts they will help you.
How’s her general training going? Short bursts here and there will help show her who’s boss and exercise her mind.

If you don’t want her give her up now while she has a good chance of finding a forever home.

Nipping will stop when teeth have come through. Ours nipped a lot and chased us around biting our feet and ankles! Now wouldn't nip at anyone ever.

I trained her by yelping loudly and turning my back on her every time she did it. It's like replicating the behaviour of the mother if she was nipped. Just behave like the mother would if she was bitten by yelping and drawing away. The pup then understands it's bitten too hard and will learn to play with soft mouth.

I did this for a while and it worked really well.

Also, puppies love their crates. Ours did and voluntarily used to put herself in. Then she moved onto her basket when ready.

It is hard. I felt like crying when I took ours out on the lead. She used to get so wired she'd almost take off and go bananas. It went on for ages. Now after much perseverance she's almost well trained enough to walk beside me off lead.

You can train a dog to do just about anything you want, but you have to be consistent and keep at it. 10 weeks is just the beginning. Am sure if you go to training and got your strategy right, it'll be fine. But like PP says, give her up now if you don't think you can cope. There's a huge demand for dogs at the mo so you won't have trouble rehoming her.

From the puppy point of view .... you stick him in a box for hours on end on his own, then expect him to perform to your social bidding when not in the box.... then you get angry and weepy because a baby doesn't comply... and then husband comes home and gets angry because you are angry and weepy... and the cap it all, when he tries to play with the other young things they don't like how he plays. Goodness, I'd want to leave home if I was treated like that. No wonder this baby dog doesn't know how to behave or act. He's in a mad house.

I don't the you are remotely ready for a dog of any age, but if you want to persevere I'd suggest making friends with some people who have dogs and maybe talk to a trainer who doesn't think its a boot camp!

Crying over your puppy, you need to get a grip!! Puppy is 10 weeks old!!! Please give the puppy to someone else before you have a breakdown 🤣

Our puppy is 10 weeks old, you're doing better than me as he won't really nap in it during the day. Thankfully will sleep in it at night.

I think 3 hours awake is a lot, mine gets very bitey when over excited and tired.

We've had no joy with Kong, he will only entertain lickimat for minutes but apparently some puppies really take to these.

He does really like frozen carrots and a wet then frozen towel is also a big success. I've ordered some chews that are ok for puppies.

might be worth investing in a large playpen for the garden. Get toys attached to dressing gown cords etc so kids can play at a safe distance/dangle over the playpen.

My husband was working for a customer who asked if he'd put his arm through glass. She was rather shocked to hear it was the work of a Labrador puppy!

“I suppose I was naive in that I thought the first few weeks he would sleep and enjoy cuddles and gradually build up to this behaviour.”

It’s the opposite... they start off as wee bitey, whirly round menaces and gradually calm down and get cuddly...

But a schedule of 3 hrs of crating is a bit like sticking a toddler in bed at random times on a schedule.

I mean, no harm popping them in there for a nap if you think they’re tired, but pointless to do just for the sake of it.

Also... the biting is him trying to play with the DC btw

We never crated our dogs it's really cruel they just wanted to be with us

If it’s any consolation, I was exactly the same. I felt like I had the baby blues over my puppy! It’s hard work, and the mouthing is challenging to say the least but honestly it gets better. My dog is 2.5 now and you wouldn’t event know he’s here half the time, so easy and a pleasure to have around. It will get better, and he’ll become part of the family soon enough!

Handhold OP, you sound absolutely at the end of your tether.

I think anyone that gets a puppy, thinks what the hell have I done at some stage, I know I did.

It is really hard work, but it does get easier and the bond will develop, it’s very early days, just hang on in there, get through each day the best you can, try not to let emotion overwhelm you, have you had a chat with the breeder they may be able to advise you further.

Ok, we’ve had loads of puppies over the years. Calm down about everything and stop expecting him to behave like the books say - they are all different. I don’t agree with the three hour in and out of a crate thing - you need to go with what your puppy wants - three hours is too long - the cycle between awake and sleeping during the day will be much shorter, maybe an hour awake, 20 minute nap, hour awake etc.

Crates are fine to use as a safe, secure space for him, but are don’t use it on a schedule. Put him in the closed crate if you are unable to supervise him - cooking, answering front door etc. Otherwise leave the door open. He will get to the point that he will take himself in there for his nap as that is where his comfy bed and his toys are kept. This will take a while though, young puppies usually will just fall asleep wherever they happen to be at the time - if possible on top of you or one of the children. You get to read and watch tv a lot!

They need a routine to an extent. Getting up times, meal times, toilet times need to be reasonably consistent (but don’t make a rod for your own back by sticking to dinner at exactly 6pm for example - 10mins either was is fine). However, don’t kill yourselves trying to stick to it like glue - dogs are pretty flexible and as long as they know where you are and therefore feel safe they will go along with most things.

Puppies will run around like nutters, chew stuff, interact with you (walk around doing your chores but chat away to him as you do so, he should tag along - he just wants to be near you) and then they suddenly crash out. Fast asleep for 30 mins or so (just leave them - do not wake them up!) then up again and off they go again.

Garden is good, lots of new stuff, new smells, etc that will tire him out mentally too - he is much more likely to sleep after a good half an hour sniffing about outside, more so than inside. If your garden is too big to let him off out there, then I would suggest a puppy pen - Amazon sell them - put it on the grass, with a bowl of water and in some shade (be very careful with the hot weather - they overheat easily) - and then sit outside with him and he will happily sniff the grass and snuffle about. Children can supervise this too. He may bark - he is talking to you - chat back, so he hears your voice. I talk total drivel to mine - about the news, the birds, my shopping list, what a pretty boy he is - he needs your voice.

Remember he is absolutely NOT biting to hurt you - he is just trying out his teeth, tasting things and has an instinct to chomp the same way teething babies do. There is absolutely no malice there are all, dogs do not have any malice in them. Dogs/puppies are just love in a rather mad and energetic bundle. Do not punish him for it - he is just a baby that has not got his Mum with him anymore. You have to be his Mum for him now, let him know the behaviour you want from him gently. If you watch puppies together with other dogs, they chomp too hard and the other dog squeals at them and they stop. A simple taking away of the your hand and a high pitched “no!” each time will stop it. I have never had a a puppy that doesn’t understand this after a couple of days if you are consistent.

Make sure he HAS got stuff to chew on. I buy baby toys for puppies. The most popular one we have had been Nuby teether - all the puppies love it - it makes a fab noise and the chew bits on it seem the right size shape for small puppies. Obviously will not be any good once he is bigger or for a big breed though.

Also Yak Milk bars are great for them (do NOT get those hide chews from the shops - incredibly dangerous - lots of dogs have died from them) - just watch as they get them small - when down to a few cm’s microwave them for 45 seconds and they puff up and go crunchy and you can then let the dog finish it off).

Tried to give loads of suggestions there - hopefully they will give you some ideas of how to manage things.

Please don’t cry over him, he is just a baby, he just wants to be with you and be loved - he needs you to look after him and love him.

JazzleRazzle that was an amazing post, and I’ve just bought the nubey

Tethers on amazon- so much cheaper than dog toys (I’ve spent far, far to much already and Dpups prefer sticks from the garden and empty plastic bottles

Hello MonkeyFace I have two 9 week old Frenchies and this is what I’m doing:

They sleep together in their crate overnight and one of us gets up at 3am for a toilet break.

6.45am up and out for toilet, praise and treat

7am scatter feed breakfast, this stops them wolfing it down and throwing it back up (bitter experience) I make tea and check emails whilst they eat.

Garden time - get a long line and let him have a run about with the DC
Once they star getting bitey I know it’s nap time. I rock them like babies and stand in front of the TV with the animal channel on and once they star to dose it’s straight in to their pen in the living room where.

11am scatter feed the garden time, lots of toys and a bit of training. I’ve taught follow and sit so they follow me around the house whilst I do what I need to do.

They fall asleep where they land on and off with lots of play time - hide behind the door and call them etc

3pm scatter feed - do all of the above again, it’s exhausting! Let them explore kitchen cupboards, show them all the appliances always chatting away to them

I hold them like a rugby ball on my forearm and rock them till very calm and then have cuddles on the sofa

7pm dinner time with milk after - toilet time and let them wander about investigating downstairs - I follow from afar to make sure no accidents
I play them songs and sounds on the iPad fireworks, kittens, lions etc

10pm in their crate in the kitchen for bedtime.

It really is a full time job, you have to be insight of them at all times and I use part of their daily food allowance as treats so they are always watching me to see if they are going to get a treat or not.

Today we practiced time on the lead and sat with the window open to watch the rain and cars.

I see it as 8 weeks to 12 weeks for me to mummy them, teach and direct them. Try to see it as putting the hard effort in for the reward.

Good luck

A kindly neighbour asked my dh if I was self harming when we first got our puppy, that's how bitey they can be. They do grow out of it.
I would dump the enforced 3 hour crate time and let him find his way with the kids, they landed to interact and he will likely take himself off to his crate when he's tired.

How’s it going now OP?

Had 2 good day's!

Still finding it quite difficult but have pulled my big girl pants on and trying to cope!

The anxious feeling in my stomach is disappearing!

He had a nap in his crate this morning 10-12 but he was really sleepy so wasn't enforced crate time at all!

I am working out that he runs on 1.5-2 hr cycles. He definitely gets more bitey and growls after this time.

He is really ready for a snooze now.
It's easier to put him into crate as them we can get on with stuff around house. He's sleepy on the kitchen floor at the moment.

Not sure that is the right thing or not ?!
Trying to relax into him being here.

Also quick question the crates and time outs.
Occasionally we need to put him somewhere to calm down. Should that be his crate or somewhere else??

@Munkeyface no, never use the crate for a time out or a punishment. You only want v positive associations with a crate

Just pop him in another room, like the kitchen behind a stair gate etc if u need to.

Although teaching a dog to calm down on request on a bed etc when needed is something I work on from day one. Get a stuffed kong or equivalent and when he needs to chill out it in the location u want.

Stair gate for a time out.

Not a problem to crate him when you need to be in a different room and need to know he's safe and not up to mischief.

@Munkeyface I honestly felt like this when I got my puppy, felt like it was harder than having a newborn baby at times 😂. But honestly once we could start taking him for walks it made things Sooo much easier. It's a massive change for the whole family. We also considered rehoming as I was so stressed, can't even believe the thought crossed my mind now, he's nearly 2 ☺️. I found spending an hour a day focusing on training something new helped a lot. Also, if the mouthing becomes too much withdraw play for 30 seconds then continue playing, mouthing at a young age is actually a good thing (although I know it doesn't seem it at the time) it teaches them their limits of playing.

Fantastic news, recognising the bitey behaviour as tiredness and being able to give him his safe space (crate) will really help you.

Mine are scheduled for food time, play and rest. Both are sparked out on the kitchen floor after playing in the garden for 25 minutes.

Due to be fed in 2 minutes but that’s not going to happen.

Are you positive you are feeding him enough? I wasn’t for the first week and now I’ve sorted that out properly they are much calmer and sleeping for longer.