Please don't laugh, but I think I may have eaten dd's hamster, I am so upset.

[LaPauvre]

Please don't laugh at me, I am so upset. She is at school, she will be gutted

I warmed up a pot of chicken casserole left over from yesterday to have for my lunch. I have eaten it, it's too late to do anything, but it was boiling for a good hour before I ate it and now I've just gone to feed dd's hamster and his cage is open and he isn't there . There was no lid on the casserole pot, his cage was on the shelf at the other end of the kitchen and the door was shut so there isn't really anywhere else he could have gone. He must have fallen in and drowned before it got hot, that's the only thing I can think of. I didn't find the hamster in the stew obviously, but there were some hairs in the pot, I just washed it it was full of bones anyway because they were those cheap chicken portions just boiled in from frozen.

Please, don't just laugh at me, I know this sounds silly but he was my daughter's birthday present, she is 6 and I don't think she will ever forgive me

[arfishymeau]

OMG this is the funniest thing I've read in ages.

Well done Greeny.

Special award goes to

a) The elephant Quiche
b) Hamster eating guidelines in pregnancy
c) "It's not big and it's not clever" about how unsupportive everybody is PMSL ROFL

[WriggleJiggle]

The elephant quiche must surely get an award?!

Thanks GS for a fantastic thread.

[ludaloo]

I knew it! (well not who posted it but it was a wind up)

I don't feel bad about my poem at all now

[southeastastra]

i knew it had the tone of a dumfluff thread! haha

[southeastastra]

why do i always fall for these?

[LieselVonTrapp]

See all along I was thinking this is Cod cause she hadnt posted on it. Then I was thinking the name in French means Pepper - turns out it doesnt.

[DumbledoresGirl]

Southeastastra, how could you have possibly fallen for this???!!! I was laughing at the opening post and showing dh the responses immediately!

Anyway, well done Greensleeves, but I want to know (as I would never stand a chance of picking up the clues in the thread and guessing the poster's identity) what was the significance of calling yourself "The Poor" in French?

[southeastastra]

i just thought it was too odd for someone to make it up! although i wasn't totally convinced

[DumbledoresGirl]

It went too far too quickly to be true IMO... I mean, you could never eat a hamster and not know it....could you?

[foundintranslation]

If I hadn't guessed already, the dumbfluffishness of the 'dirty habit' comment would have given it away...
Greeny - I am speechless with admiration and a bit

[anon666]

The bit of hair in the casserole was pretty sus.

But it was the blender that definitely gave it away. Pure genius. Had me laughing all day.

You can't blend bones!

[katierocket]

Ha! just seen this. Briliant Greeny - created more humour than I've seen on mumsnet for a while.

But MP wins the award for best contribution.

I still love this line: "hamsters don't DISSOLVE, you are getting them confused with Aspirin"

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

I think Greeny and MP should write stories together

I'm thinking - in the style of Roald Dhal....

[Greensleeves]

DG - LaPauvre was one of dh's nicknames for me when we were students, I just thought it suited the sorry tale of woe and the putative dd blarting her eyes out in the bathroom

[StrawberryMoon]

wondered if anyone would dare out themselves after it went so far..wanted to start a thread.."jut been chipping potatos in kitchen and now cant find dd..funny looking ponytail sticking out os dish"..or something to that effect..but didnt incase i was wrong!

[holidaymum]

Ooooh you bad bad girl Greeny! keep up the good work! You had me and ds in stitches last night.

[Macdog]

Last night I said to dh "just going to have a quick look on MN"
45 mins later he came looking for me and found me snorting with laughter, with tears pouring down my face.

Thanks to everyone for really cheering me up

[BudaBeast]

Def got too much time on your hands Greeny!

And a warped sense of humour!

V. funny.

Abby won't have to hunt about too much for next quote of the week!

[kittywits]

I told ds2 about it, he couldn't see the funny side, that's ds2 though.

[Tutter]

very good

i so wanted you to out yourself on the name thing

you must have been tempted to asnwer bayleaf surely

[Salamander]

Damn I was really hoping it was real...

[NotYouNaanBread]

Zombie thread or not, this has kept me happily entertained for 20 mins after the huge fight with DD2 over taking the tree down.

[MuddhaOfSuburbia]

Oh I did love Greensleeves, tho

[IAmAPaleontologist]

i loved this thread first time round! Did it never make it to classics?

[IAmAPaleontologist]

"hamsters don't dissolve, you're confusing them with aspirin"
one of the finest quotes ever to come out of MN