Why can't you have a child and dog at the same time?
We have always had dogs of all shapes and sizes. Thats the brilliant thing about fogs. They come in all shapes and sizes.
You will have to teach your dd not to overwhelm the dog. I have to be strict with my dd about giving our dogs space.
we have terriers and whilst they are great they aren't a breed for novices. They are bloody strong willed little feckers.
Have a look at battersea dogs home website. I think there is a section on helping you choose the right breed.
there are so many variables. Where you live - your home, walking areas etc. You say you don't want a shedder so that rules out lots of breeds. Not a big dog. More crossed off the list :) child friendly and tolerant.
Dogs that spring to mind are
cockapoo
Cocker spaniel
Westie
Cavalier
Schnauzer
Shih tzu
do give serious thought to a rescue dog as to SOME degree you will have an idea of temperament. Puppies are great but bloody hard work and if you aren't confident you could make your dog nervous. Avoid a nervous dog at all costs. A nervous dog is far more likely to be a biter.
Do your research and get it right and s fog will be a wonderful family member fuck it up and its nothing but stress.