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Original poster

I don't believe my dog will be jealous of my new baby - am I being optimistic?

21 replies

DogMum · 19/06/2006 18:06

This discussion started on another thread, but the topic is big enough to have its own.

My Labrador will be 3 when my first baby is born in October. I'm worried about missing him while I'm in hospital, but I'm not worried about the him being jealous of the baby. The reason I'm not worried is that I've consulted a behaviourist, read 'Your Dog&Your Baby' by SA Kent and we're following the advice now to prepare the dog for the baby's arrival.

Am I being optimistic? Do other parents have positive/negative experience?

OP posts:

Pixiefish · 19/06/2006 18:10

My dog was fine with my dd when i came home. Prior to dd she'd been my baby for 8 years. I made sure that I walked in on my own and dh bought dd in. I fussed the dog and we never had any problems with her. She was a very kind dog and loved kids anyway.

Milliways · 19/06/2006 18:10

Everyone told me to get rid of our GSD when I was first pregnant! We at least thought he should have a chance!

Anyway, I was in hospital for 2 weeks with DH visiting every day so we were concerned that he was left on his own for 2 weeks then 3 of us came home with a new centre of attention. No worries. He was VERY protective of DD - sat on Midwives feet whenever she held DD :)

His only problem was his disturbed nights so he stopped sleeping in our bedroom & moved onto landing.

We did let him lick her feet when first home to get sniffing out of his system -just before her bath btw.

BadHair · 19/06/2006 18:13

He will be fine - there's plenty of families with dogs out there. Once the baby is born he'll soon get to know his place.

2labs · 19/06/2006 20:01

I'm 32 wks preg (my first) with two dogs. My aim is to try to be as prepared as possible and aware of all the issues, certainly not complacent, but absolutely not to 'worry' either. After all, if you're going to get anxious about that, you might as well add plenty more scary things to the list . As you're doing plenty of reading and thinking etc I don't think you can do more. We have worked hard on obedience training and ours have always been around babies and children, so I'm expecting it'll be more the routine/attention stuff I need to manage than worrying about the dogs thinking 'what the hell is that thing??!!' Obvious caution applies, though - I won't be leaving the dogs and baby alone together.

I've had one person (acquaintance, no friend of mine ) assume I'm giving up my dogs just because the baby is coming. I think a lot of people who don't have or like dogs assume that they are a baby substitute and can be discarded when the 'real thing' comes along. Makes me .

Nemo1977 · 19/06/2006 20:06

not all dogs are jealous. Our dog was 8yrsold and had been our baby until DS was born. When he arrived I did the things I was told to do like send home something smelling of the baby and put a stair gate on the nursery but we have never had a problem at all. DS is now 2.8yrs and the dog is extremely tolerant of him. We also now have a 6mth old DD and I comepletely forgot the send baby things home bit and dog was fine. Expecting no.3 and will probably forget again but now dont forsee any problems.

cupcakes · 19/06/2006 20:10

I am 13 weeks so have a little way to go but I'm not too worried about the baby and our (currently 8 months old) lab. Mainly because we already had 2 children when we got him so he's used to not getting much attention plus being right at the bottom of the pecking order!
I will take precautions when the baby is born because he will still be quite young and I just don't know what to expect. Am definitely going to look for that book.

QueenMab · 19/06/2006 20:12

Our dog was 8 when DS was born and has always been fine with him - gave him a good sniff and a little lick on the head when he got home from hospital (dog has been trained not to lick people at all so if he does give you a sneaky lick it is a sign of great affection!). Now DS pesters the hell out of him and thinks he is a giant cuddly toy, but Harry just lets him do anything to him. Harry was DSs' first proper word after Mummy and Daddy! I think you have to make a fuss of your dog but also remember the pack animal thing - your dog has to realize he is lower down the pecking order than your baby.

bramblina · 19/06/2006 20:33

My dog was a very jealous dog, of our cats (who were here long before she was) and the tortoise who came about 3 yrs after her. I thought the whole baby thing would be a huge problem but she's brilliant. Very protective, used to sit below his m. basket on sofa and would lie nest to the playmat, never on it when ds was on it. Now it's a whole other ball game of course as ds is 10 months and just wants to play! But as I said I was reallyworried and pleasantly surprised. My friend had a similar experience with a lab. Ours is a border terrier. I think the dog knows naturally what's going on and they know to move down the pecking order. Of course there are a few exceptions.

Dawnybabe · 19/06/2006 21:29

I'm glad there has been so much positive feedback on this. My dog will be 3 when little'un arrives and as he has been a bit snappy and growly with me a couple of times when I've had to tell him off, I've been a bit worried about how he'll be. I've since had him snipped on the advice of my vet, just in case, cos obviously I don't want to ignore that advice and then live to regret it (although I wouldn't have had it done otherwise). He seems a bit quieter, although he could just be sulking! I'm definitely gonna get that book though.

YellowFeathers · 19/06/2006 21:35

Our dog was 3 when I had dd.
He was amazing when we brought her home.
He sniffed her car seat and carry cot, then after that didn't bother. In fact whenever she cried he went in to another room

DD is now coming up to 3 and he still brilliant with her although if he is locked out of her way, for example if the MW comes to visit we will shut him in the other room as he is a major sniffer and router (Beagle) , he becomes very anxious and will bark. When he is let back in, the first thing he will do is go and find dd.

Original poster

DogMum · 20/06/2006 14:21

It's great to hear everyone's positive experiences. I'm really looking forward to seeing the relationship developing between the dog and the baby. Our dog is definitely bottom of the pack and he also understands this when my small nephews are around, so hopefully it will be straightforward for the baby to slot in above him. I'll send some smelly baby clothes home from the hospital (thanks for the tip) and let the dog have a good sniff of the baby. I think making a big fuss of the dog will come naturally because I'll have missed him so much.

OP posts:

WriggleJiggle · 20/06/2006 21:06

Both our labs were fantastic. When Dd was very small they would hide if she started crying , now if she cries when they are out of sight they go and sit next to her. Both deefas have been brought up around children. In fact a couple of weeks ago a friends child crawled OVER one of them - dog is quite lazy and couldn't be bothered to move!

WriggleJiggle · 20/06/2006 21:10

Forgot to mention - there has been one problem - one of the dogs has become aggressive towards other dogs - I think she may be trying to protect the little one. Haven't worked out how to solve that one yet.

Original poster

DogMum · 21/06/2006 08:45

Wrigglejiggle, have a look at \link{http://www.apbc.org.uk/members.php} (Members list for the asscoiation of pet behaviour counsellors) There's hopefully a member in your area who could help you solve it.

OP posts:

WriggleJiggle · 21/06/2006 20:45

Thanks DogMum

Mytholmroyd · 09/07/2006 15:56

I have had four babies and between me, my mum and sister, several golden and flatcoat retrievers and gordon setters, both dogs and bitches throughout. Never had a problem and as many here have said, the dogs have put up with all sorts of rough play from the toddlers with never so much as a growl. They seem to know they are babies and sit there with endless patience whilst having ears pulled and being sat on -
once caught my eldest daughter on all fours stealing the dogs dinner when she first started walking with the dog sat there uncomplainingly.... Didnt let that happen again!!!

Being slapped across the face with a wagging tail has been the main source of upset but even my dippiest flatcoat seems gentler around the baby.

I have to say I have never had a moments worry in the last 16 years about leaving our dogs and a baby/child alone in a room and I dont think my parents ever did either. Wouldnt do it with dogs I didnt know though.

lilymolly · 24/08/2006 21:50

Hi just found this thread- Would be interested in how you got on. I have 3 year old Lab and 8month old dd! They love each other, but lab has also been agressive towards other dogs since she was born so was amazed to read someone else have this problem! Any advice?

lilymolly · 25/08/2006 10:10

bump

heiferjamese · 26/08/2006 08:25

Our dogs were fine.. and they were 12 and 13!

I think the main reason that they were ok is that a baby doesn't actually move and therefore not really a threat. They didn't seem to really notice her much... and by the time they did they were already used to her.

I think it would have been totally different if you brought a 2 year old home.....

1Baby1Bump · 26/08/2006 08:42

Our 2 black labs were fine when we vrought ds home. they turned 3 in April this year.
They were not very interested in him to start with, for about a week, then one of them, who is very sensitive anyway, sort of realised he was staying and I don't think she is overly keen on him. Not in a bad way. She tends to keep out of his way now he can walk that's all.
The other one doesn't care. She lets him climb all over her and he puts his arms round her neck and rests his head on her fur saying 'Ahhhhh Goggy'. It's so sweet to watch. She goes all dopey and drools!
Other than the other one keeping out of his way there is no change in their behaviour. The one that does like him is a very strong spirited dog and she likes to think her place in the heirarchy has not changed althought it has!!

They have become very sensitive to noises now. They always barked when someone knocks on the door or the postman put the mail through but now any unusual noise gets a bark and investigation, especially when dh is at work and I am home alone with him. That's one reason dh wanted dogs iykwim. They sound huge from outside then people say 'Oh, only Labs. Thought you had Rotties!!'

They walk next to the pushchair when we go out. The sensitive one goes off sniffing about but the other one wont leave the pushchairs side.

They have never barked at ds or growled or anything.
As much as I love them I would get rid of them in a heartbeat if they ever did. I think that is very important for people to consider even if the dogs were there first.
Sorry if I have rambled!
x

lilymolly · 26/08/2006 08:53

Thanks for advice
Dog is finding it a bit hard now dd is crawling! but so far has not shown any agression at all!
But just seen on news a 2 year old has been attacked by lab and is in hospital with head injuries.
Dont think for one moment dog will hurt dd bit makes you think doesnt it?
She is excellent with older kids and loves playing with them so hope she will be ok, but ANY sign of nastiness and she will be gone, but hope it never comes to this.

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