To get a puppy or not to get a puppy?

[Kingsroadie]

We have a 14 month old daughter and 2 house cats (ragdolls). We live in a house in London about 100 metres from a park. Would we be mad to get a puppy? I am a SAHM and intend to be for the forseeable future. We plan on having another 1/2 children but with 2.5-3 year age gaps - ie next one born when our daughter is about 3 (assuming it all works out etc).

I have lived with dogs before but have never owned one. How many walks do they need a day (I realise this depends on the breed somewhat)? We have a paved small garden but it hasn't got grass - ie no weeing in it! How much work are they really? They clearly need to be house trained and lead trained. If, for example, we were both unwell, would they cope with a day of just being taken out briefly for the loo however many times a day? Or just that and a short walk?

Obviously we would need to consider the breed careful re suitability for family life, kids, cats, lack of very long daily walks etc. I knew a family with a baby and two cats who had a whippet and he was the most gentle, adorable dog ever. That is an option but don't they need masses of exercise? Labradoodle (small) is another one, and dogs like shit zu/lhasa apsos etc.

Any thoughts/experience of dogs/puppies and babies/family life? Thanks a lot!

The idea that a whippet needs a lot of walking is a bit of a misnomer. They don;t need hours and hours of walking because they are built for short sudden bursts of energy, so they tend to need several shorter walks rather than one long one.

Anything that is normally bred as a working (farm or field/gun) dog will need lots and lots of exercise so labrador, retriever, labradoodle, etc will go loopy and can be destructive if they aren't walked.

The thing with walking dogs is not necessarily how far/long they need, it's about the mental stimulation it gives them. They need to be able to follow smells and use all their dog instincts in order to tire themselves out mentally as well, it's not simply about running of physical energy. Are dogs allowed off lead in the park? If they aren't you need to double the time they need walking for as being on lead just doesn't give them the same quality of walk as running free off lead.

Given that you have a very young child now and the age gaps you foresee for your next child/ren you will be walking the dog accompanied by babies/small children for at least 6 years. How will you walk it when you are heavily pregnant/have a newborn (plus toddler/s)? Consider the implications of dressing 3 children for the weather, getting them out, manhandling a buggy and puppy/dog plus 1 or 2 more walking children at least once a day, ideally more, no matter what the weather. In the winter when your dp/h will be leaving for work in the dark and coming home in the dark, how will you manage to fit in walks? What if the dcs are ill? My 3 dcs can be very reluctant to come with me on walks and it is not a lot of fun dragging 3 whinging children out in the rain .

We got our dog (lab) when our youngest was 20mo and the older 2 were 3 and almost 5yo. With hindsight we should have waited another year at least, if I'm honest. The puppy stage, especially from 5mo - over 1yo is very, very hard. It is as bad as having another baby/toddler, if not worse. We lost so many toys because the dcs weren't old enough to understand that whatever they left around would be chewed.

They need so much input and training every single day, on top of the walks which I didn;t take into account. Fitting in all the dcs' needs while socialising, training and walking the puppy was almost impossible some days. Training was also trickier because the dcs were too young to be part of it and loved to career around with her and wind her up but then got upset when she nipped/scratched them. In effect I had to train all 4 of them.

I have to say, there were many, many times when I nearly gave her back to the breeder because the stress and amount of work involved was so huge.

She's almost 3 now and has settled down into a wonderful pet but I wish we had waited because it would have been so much easier for everyone.

Personally, in your circumstances I would wait. We were swept away by the lovely adult family dog idea, we had no real idea of how much work it would take to get to that point, despite both of us having grown up around dogs. Have your children, let them grow up a bit - dare I suggest, start school - THEN get a puppy.

Lady - thanks so much for that. TBH that is the conclusion I had almost come to. Wait until the youngest is at school/nursery. It's useful just to have someone spell out the practicalities of getting 3 children dressed for a walk several times a day (although obv could be factored into walking to school/nursery etc). Thank you!

Pleasure, sorry didn;t realise I'd written so much .

I always intend to take the dog on the school run but tbh, it's just an extra hassle in an already fraught and frenetic process! I do take her on the pick up as I quite often time her 'proper' walk to tie in, especially if it's cold/wet. There's nothing worse that being soaked to the skin four times in one day .

Ha - I always do that...

Quick question: do you walk or drive to school? Assume walk from your post? Yes it rains too bloody often in the uk!

Yup, walk. We live in a village so school is close and there's plenty of fields, etc to tramp around with the dog.
Having said that, I sometimes take her to one of the local forests as a change for both of us so then pick the dcs up in the car on the way back through.

Shameless bump of my own thread as I am re-considering a puppy! (Have thought about rescue but every one I have looked at doesn't seem keen to re-home with young kids). My daughter is now walking and is fairly easy to deal with now but we won't have another baby until she is about 3. I feel I now would have the time and energy to train a puppy and the weather is obviously nicer for the next few months. If we got a puppy now it would be about 18 months by the time we had another baby, assuming it all went to plan.

Am I still mad!?

And and she is obsessed with dogs and spends the entire time in the park walking from one to the next and (obviously checking with the owners first) stroking them. As we have two cats she understands how to be gentle and never tries to pull their ears/tail etc. (Well, she hasn't so far!) We have taught her this from a very early age because of our cats.

i am in teh same boat as you but am actually going to see one today, a Yorkie/Bichon Frise x. My dc's are 13 and 4 and we have three cats too! I kow they are atie and I have pulled back several times from getting one but I know I will have one eventually so why wait! I want a small breed for several reasons - the main one being they don't occupy so much space! I am quite daunted by the thought but - what the hey! I am a SAHM and have family close by who are willing to look after our pup if we need to go out for the day visiting etc. My Mum has almost opted for part ownership! Good luck

It's really tough - I really want one but have concerns re expense (obviously the initial cost of the puppy and neutering etc) and ongoing food costs and boarding them etc. But also am I just mad - my daughter has suddenly become easier - should I let chaos descend again!? Is a dog a real tie?

Thank you - I don't work and won't be for the forseeable future so will be around to look after/train the dog so that is a plus.

We are going to visit some cockapoos next weekend. Apparently they are not massively energetic - an hour or so a day (and tbh I spend more than that out in the park with my daughter anyway daily) and very good with children etc. Yes there are the initial expenses as you have mentioned. I think my husband was just thinking more about the boarding if we are away etc but tbh dogs can come with you some of the time too. Plus my nanny has said she will house and dog sit for not very much per day!

My daughter is just totally obsessed and loves them and is very gentle and strokes them etc. Sounds like we might have almost decided yes!

well, we got our Yorkie/bichon x yesterday and I am thrilled. My 4 yo ds has been absolutely brilliant with her and she follows him around everywhere which he loves! Our 13 yo dd is over the moon and buying her was defo a good decision. toilet training is a bit of a worry but I am following advice. We too did nto want a bit dog that required lots of exercise as that is a huge commitment. wE had her jabs and worming treatment today which was less costly than I had expected and we will insure her too V soon. I have agreed wtih my Mum and Niece who both live really near me that we will introduce Tilly to their homes too so that if I do ever need to go out for a long time she will be more than happy to bed down there if needs be. I am worried about it as everyone is so negative about dogs but I wanted a puppy and now we have one and i will deal with that. good luck :-))

While a puppy sounds like a lovely idea, they do need a bit of work to turn into well adjusted, relaxed adult dogs.

You are right to think about the correct breed for your circumstances, that decision would be absolutely crucial. While small breeds sound ideal, they are often more highly strung and more barky than medium and larger breeds. Go for one of the really popular family breeds like a golden retriever, there is a reason so many families pick them.

Any dog you get will need two, active walks a day. OK if you are unwell you can skip the odd day, but if you don't allow the dog enough time to expend energy on walks you will quickly start having serious behavioral issues. The length of the walks depends on whether they are on or off lead but one of them should be at least an hour long. 5 minutes round the block won't be enough.

You also need to think about socialisation and training which will take up a lot of your time during the dog's first year. If you skip this vital stage you could end up with a seriously unsuitable dog that is aggressive, fearful and difficult to handle. You need to factor in puppy socialisation classes, training classes, time at home training and time to take the dog out to meet people, other dogs, different situations, etc. Part of the training will include teaching the dog basic manners like a good recall, not pulling on the lead, not jumping up, leaving food when asked to do so, etc. There are many schools of thought regarding training techniques so it is important to find one that works well for you and your puppy. It's a huge mistake to think that just because the puppy is cute and manageable as a puppy, it will remain like this into its teenage years without any further effort to train it.

If all this is beginning to sound like too much how about rehoming an older dog? Reputable rescue centres should take time to get to know you, your family and your requirements before matching you with a suitable dog and it's easier to know what you are getting with an adult dog.

Sorry just to add, although this may well make me unpopular (sorry!), I would avoid these new, trendy cross mixes. They are usually bred for all the wrong reasons, i.e. looks and cuteness factor. Once you have decided on your breed find a very reputable breeder who breeds for temperament (THE most important thing in a family dog) and make sure they do all the health tests relevant to the breed before they choose the bitch and dog they breed from. There are plenty of good how to chose a puppy guides on the internet if this is something you might want more information on.

booboostoo - sometimes rescue dogs come wtih 'issues' too which is why I was recommended a puppy rather than an adult/older dog, esp with a young child and other pets to consider. We do have a rescue cat though who is a fantastic addition to our family so I guess it is all personal choice in teh end

booboo - funnily enough, I went to teh vets today and he was rather in favour of the new cross breeds (I have no opinion either way) as they can be rather more hardy than some pedigrees. I agree that it is daft to give them tehse fancy names; Cocapoos, labradoodles etc., as in essence they are mongrels, but mongrels are often a bit more resiliant than pedigrees (or so I am told by my vet!)

cant you house sit someone elses dog for a week? doing that put me off for life!!

Thanks - all valid points. I have done a lot of research and the puppies we are viewing next Saturday come from PRA tested parents and FN free mother. They live in the house with other pets and children so have already started to be socialised. The mother is available to view and they have all the certificates and paperwork and pictures for the stud dog. They appear to be responsible and aren't in any way a puppy farm.

I have spent ages looking at rescue centres and pretty much all of them won't rehome with children under 4 or sometimes 8. I have considered this very seriously but it looks like a re-home won't work out for us.

I have also considered how I will train the puppy and have found suitable puppy classes in the evenings which I will be able to attend. I fully appreciated the need for a puppy to be properly trained and socialised as it can seriously affect their temperament later on. I really have done my research throughly and I have a nanny one day a week, during which time I will endeavour to do some serious puppy training work! I have considered all different scenarios and do feel that I am prepared for this. In addition, my husband has owned dogs before and I have also lived with a dog for a period of time and have been around lots of them, so we have experience with them.

snowkitten - of course you are right many rescue dogs are rescues for a reason, however a reputable rescue centre would assess its dogs before rehoming, vet the potential homes, make sure the two are a good match and offer behavioural advice and potentially take the dog back if things do not work out. A lot of work has to go into a puppy to make it into a suitable family dog. If you get it right, which loads of people do, it's a great pleasure, but if you get it wrong it can be really tough.

Sorry to disagree with your vet but if you take a breed with a genetic defect/problem and cross it with another breed with a genetic defect/problem you don't end up with a hardier dog. The main point, whatever it is you are breeding, is to know your breed, know your bloodlines, know what you are trying to avoid, test for it in advance and only then breed. The problem with the trendy cross breeds is that too many people are making money out of them so there is less of a consideration about health issues, many of them are bred for looks rather than health or temperament and many of them are not the result of years and years of careful and purposeful breeding. The same can be said for many dodgy 'established' dog breeders, but there it should be easier to weed out the dodgy ones. Just check on the Kennel Club for the main illnesses and problems your desired breed is prone to and then don't buy a puppy unless the parents have been health screened for these problems (beware of people advertising puppies as 'health tested' by a vet, this is a completely different guarantee altogether).

Sorry Kingsroadie just saw your reply! Sounds like you have it all under control, happy puppy viewing!!

Booboostoo - you sound like you know a fair amount about dogs - quick question: would you crate train? Thanks!

i must be honest - last night our puppy kept me awake on and off all nigj whining and crying I am hoping to get thoruhg this stage but it is already harder than I had imagined and I am feeling stressed!

Kingsroadie, we have a 4 month old cockerpoo (and a 4 year old DD). Pup is absolutely gorgeous but please don't think cockerpoos are not energetic. She has stacks of energy and, although we are limiting her exercise somewhat because she is still growing, I think as an adult dog she will need far in excessive of an hour a day (could see her happily having 2 hours plus).

This isn't a 'breed' that could happily miss a day's walk for whatever reason and just run about in the garden.

There are loads of cockerpoos near where we live and, to be honest, I think she is on the calmer side (a couple are really bouncy and nutty). She goes to bed at 10.30/11pm and is ready to start the day at 5.30am!

She is intelligent and extremely people orientated; she loves being part of family activities more than anything. I know that - because they are cross-breeds - cockerpoos vary alot but these aren't dogs that can happily tolerate being left alone for very long. She needs lots of companionship, buckets of physical and mental stimulation, and a firm hand.

She is a true 'doggy' dog - adores digging, burying her toys, eating horse poo etc and her coat attracts dirt like a magnet.

Unless you are going to do heaps of physical activity, I would definitely go for a show cocker spaniel cross rather than a working cocker.

We are novice dog owners and - although we love her to bits and will do all we can to ensure her needs are met - we do sometimes wonder if we should have gone for an 'easier' breed.