To get a puppy or not to get a puppy?

[Kingsroadie]

We have a 14 month old daughter and 2 house cats (ragdolls). We live in a house in London about 100 metres from a park. Would we be mad to get a puppy? I am a SAHM and intend to be for the forseeable future. We plan on having another 1/2 children but with 2.5-3 year age gaps - ie next one born when our daughter is about 3 (assuming it all works out etc).

I have lived with dogs before but have never owned one. How many walks do they need a day (I realise this depends on the breed somewhat)? We have a paved small garden but it hasn't got grass - ie no weeing in it! How much work are they really? They clearly need to be house trained and lead trained. If, for example, we were both unwell, would they cope with a day of just being taken out briefly for the loo however many times a day? Or just that and a short walk?

Obviously we would need to consider the breed careful re suitability for family life, kids, cats, lack of very long daily walks etc. I knew a family with a baby and two cats who had a whippet and he was the most gentle, adorable dog ever. That is an option but don't they need masses of exercise? Labradoodle (small) is another one, and dogs like shit zu/lhasa apsos etc.

Any thoughts/experience of dogs/puppies and babies/family life? Thanks a lot!

Sorry for my previous epic post - I'm never very concise!

Do be prepared for the yucky side of dog ownership - puppy has had mites, worms, a benign tumour and ticks since she arrived (despite all the appropriate treatments). Vet bills have been huge.

Ismyturn - it will get better (sending a sneaky hug)

We got her from a breeder that we did (and still do) believe is responsible; only the odd litter every couple of years, puppies raised in the family home, mother dog is a much loved family pet (we saw mum and she clearly adored her owners), genetic testing done (certificates seen) and the breeder made clear he will take puppy back at anytime during her life no questions asked.

She definitely came with the mites as she couldn't have got them from our home but the vet said that the breeder hadn't necessarily done anything wrong.

The worms are a mystery (she had been dosed up to the eyeballs with Stronghold to treat the mites so should have been protected)

The tumour is just one of those things and I suppose the ticks are too (we walk her in lovely woodland) Although we will now be alternating her Advocate treatment with Frontline as I understand that works against ticks.

Funny thing is we considered getting a Cavalier - gorgeous softies and I had one as a child - but decided not too because of all the health problems associated with the breed!

Oh, by the way, I'm so, so very jealous of your puppy's sleeping pattern

My neighbor has a labradoddle as does a friend and they are bouncer than Labradors and shed too which they weren't expecting, I'd not get one of those personally.

shineon - I am Snowkitten but I name changed because it sounded so wet!!!
She's a yorkie/bichon x, 9 weeks old. Not in a crate but has a comfy catbed with sides. She slept in there during the day like a dreqm but she also had her Parvo jab yesterday plus only joined us the evening before so i kow it is to be expected. I just hadn't expected her to be so LOUD !

shineon - i did ignore her last night but she was pretty hard to block out - defo got some Yorkie vocal chords in there! Do these crates really work? I didn;t want an item of furniture tht is so combesome an ugly tbh but if it will work then I will buy one tomorrow!!

Kingsroadie: I am by no means an expert. I know a bit about clicker training because I did a trainer's course with Elizabeth Kershaw and then assisted at my local dog training club for a few years. Yes, I have crate trained 3 puppies over the last 11 years, it's a life saver. With a crate you can avoid almost all house soiling accidents and save all your belongings from being chewed. The crate is also brilliant for moving house or going on holiday with the dog as it provides an instant, familiar and reassuring space. Finally it is really good if you want to introduce a new puppy to older dogs because it offers a safe place for the puppy to retreat to (I imagine the same might be true if you need to keep the dog safely away from unsupervised contact with young children).

our puppy has been here since Thurs. Is it too late to get one now? Why are they so good? And how do they stop them weeiug and pooing indoors?

No, not too late at all.

Get a crate appropriate to the puppy's size, i.e. the puppy should have room to stand up, lie down and turn around comfortably. For larger breeds you may need to buy more than one crates as they grow. Put a nice comfy blanket and some interesting chews in there. Might also be worth feeding the puppy in the crate for the first few days to get her used to it. Some puppies prefer a darker 'home' so cover part of the crate with an old blanket.

To start off with leave the crate door open. Never push or force the puppy in the crate, but allow her to explore it and take ownership of it herself. If she is sleeping somewhere else try lifting her and placing her in the crate, as long as this doesn't disturb her too much she might continue sleeping in there. Only shut the door of the crate when she is completely comfortable in there, avoid putting her in the crate when she is super excited, or when she has been naughty.

Crates help you apply house training rules. Dogs are unlikely to soil where they sleep, as long as they are given an opportunity to do otherwise. So, as soon as the puppy wakes up, pick her out of the crate and take her straight outside, she should go to the toilet. As soon as she eats, drinks or finishes playing, take her out she should go to the toilet. You should either be in the room with her, so that you can notice signs of her wanting to wee/poo and take her out, or keep her in the crate where she is unlikely to wee/poo.

You should not leave the puppy in the crate for more than 4 hours at a time and she will need plenty of stimulation, training, walkies, etc. the rest of the time. Overnight you can try to go for 8 hours in the crate, but be very aware of her asking to be let out for toilet in the middle of the night.

fucking hell I typed a long lng post and my pc switched itsel off.I have made a big mistake.r I am totally exhaiustd wtih this puppy I cannot cope and she has onloy been hee since thursday . I woke at 445am completelhy stressed by herr. Teh night before she whined all night long and i was anticipating the same so didnot sleep. Ifeel totally anxious. She will not get the hang of weeing/pooing anywhere but on the carpet. She was squatting for a wee jsut now so I took her in garden, treat in hand and shejst wandered about sniffing then ran in side and squatted again - I tooke her back outside and she jsut ketp running off to wee inside. I cannot play with my son as I an watching herlke a hawk in case she pees/poos. I don;t want to play as ossn as i wake up. If I could get her homed todya i would but she cost a lot of monye so don't want her to be given to animal shelter. iwant my freedom back - I don;t know what to do- surely I should not be this stressed?

OP I am sorry to be blunt but what did you expect when you bought a very young puppy? I am sorry you are stressed but a young puppy is very similar to a young baby, they pee/poo everywhere and cry through the night. They need a lot of attention, care, stimulation and training.

I would have more sympathy for your situation if it wasn't for your last comment about the cost of the puppy and the rescue centre. Frankly you would be lucky if the overrun rescues were able to take on your puppy, rather than thinking of how much money you are throwing away by rehoming her that way rather than selling her on.

Apologies Kingsroadie, this post above should not read 'OP' it should say 'ItsMyTurn', so sorry!!!

booboo - I don;t know what i expected. Having people explain what it islike owning a puppy is like trying to adeuately describe being in labour or having a baby! It doesn't do it justice. I am not a bad person , I am patient, loving and trying to do the right thing for myself and my children. I just don't think I can handle the added pressure. I lost my dh last yer and since then we have moved house, changed school sfor my dd and re-established ourselves as a new family in a new place. I always wanted a dog as a family pet (we have 3 cats) but my dh didn;t want one as was not a pet person. I did not glibly buy a dog on a whim, I really wanted one but now I seriously wonder whether I can get through teh puppy stage without having a nervous breakdown! I feel so so guilty but so unsure that I can continue with a puppy when I alreayd feel defeated and trapped by her. I want to keep her but I seriously don;t thihk I can

oh my god, the poor puppy has been away from its mum for 4 days and you are fed up of it already. It does get easier but a puppy is a huge commitment, you would only have had to read a few threads on here to find that out.

did you get the crate, crates are much better for a peaceful night. with the weather so nice surely you could be outside most of the time cutting down on the accidents. toilet training will come, and a lot quicker than with children, what worries me is if it is too much commitment now when it is a cute puppy and the novelty shouldnt have worn off what are things going to be like when it is older.
If you do get rid please rehome through a rescue, do not sell her, you have no idea who you are selling to. I understand that it cost you a lot of money but the money is the least of the commitments you made to this dog.

Itsmyturn. Your comments about how much your puppy cost have made me very, very .

Puppies are hard work. They are vulnerable and frightened. Your puppy hasn't a hope in hell of getting the hang of where you want her to wee in just four days. She is probably still missing her siblings and mum. What the hell did you think her first few weeks at home would be like? Puppies remain quite hard work until they get to about 10 months.

You have to care for her and teach her with kindness and consistency what you expect from her in your home. Not bleat about stress.

I'm sorry your previous year has been so hard, but if you really mean what you say, contact the breeder today, explain the situation and ask to return the puppy and face the fact that you have made what is probably quite an expensive mistake. Do not just abandon the pup at a rescue centre - a good breeder will always insist on taking a puppy back if there has been any change in circumstances. If you feel so very strongly about it, that, IMO is the only right way to handle it.

I have 9 month old twins and a 6 year old. We got our lab puppy about 2 months ago. She is amazing and walks so much nicer next to the buggy than if i have her out alone (probably cos i pretty much always have her out with the buggy unless somebody is with us) but i do think life would be so much simpler if i had waited till the twins were at nursery

Star That's lovely but very brave - I can imagine twins would be super hard work without a puppy too - well done!

PS Thank you boo - if we get one of these puppies I think I have decided a crate would be very useful. Will probably get a soft sided one which can be packed away if needed.

i am not fed up with it!!! I jsut feel I have made a mistake - i didn;t mean to - I thought I had thought it through - I spent months considering optiunos - rehming an adult dog, buying a puppy, which breed etc. It is jsut that I had not realised how it would make me feel. I feel tied and anxious. No idea why - just how I feel, maybe it is early days but I feel sick to the stomach at prospect of rehoming her and daunted and anxious at the though of keeping her

anxiety is normal, it is a big change to your lives, and you have had enough of those in the past year by the sound of it, sorry if I sounded harsh I just worry for the dog, would the breeder take it back, any reputable breeder would. If you are going to keep her try and work oout the exact probalems and we can try and help you overcome them, we are not all experts like some of the lovely women on here, I have had my dog for a year and am still very much learning, the way to do it is deal with each probllem seperatly, ask for lots of advice, there are always people here who are willing to help, every problem I have had I have had the best advice. Just been for a lovely long walk and it is so relaxing, something that a dog gives you back, while you cant take it for a walk yet you can take her out in your arms, give her lots of stimulatiobn, new places to see, new experiences to absorb, this will tire her out and make her better at night, you have heard the saying a tired dog is a happy dog.
See if you can teach her to sit the pride you feel when she does it will be overwhelming and may help you bond.

as for the toilet, take her out every half an hour and prasie like mad if she gets it right.

and it is hard work, but the most rewarding things in life usually are.

I guess it must be a lot like having a newborn - they need constant love and reassurance and regular food and naps to prevent over tiredness. Don't want to be alone at night, and think how long it takes to potty train a child! (Albeit that puppies can't wear nappies in the meantime). Sorry you're so stressed and I think you are the only person who will know what the right decision is for you and your family...