He's 7, he's the son of a pedant, he doesn't seem to remember the difference between there, they're, their .. he will have to be punished

[Twiglett]

am thinking of boiling oil

I always find tarring and feathering to be more effective.

A few missing toe nails?

tazer. definitely. then you can have it handy every time he uses the wrong one.

"Their is a dog."

ZAP

You must tatttoo rules of grammar up his arms.
Go now while there still open.

ffs have I not of suffered enough?

snurks at how the addition of feathers has morphed the cat into FabioFlangeCanary