Pedants' Therapy Centre

[MrsThierryHenry]

It has been drawn to my attention that some of the MN pedants are afflicted with what may be diagnosed as a mild form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder when encountering loathed grammatical errors, abominable cliches and other linguistic misdemeanours.

In an effort to rehabilitate said sufferers I would like to announce the opening of the world's first Pedants' Therapy Centre.

Pedants are encouraged to open up about the emotional challenges they experience when exposed to linguistic anomalies, whilst other contributors may offer support and advice on how said pedants may relieve the anxiety and bring themselves to a place of psychological wholeness.

The Centre is now...open. First pedant?

I've tried ululating quietly. It is my unpleasant duty to tell you that it can't be done.

Some things you should keep to yourself, OBM

We are very liberal here at the batcave. Ululation is a perfectly natural act, in our view.

Hmm...I've just tried ululating quietly (I ask myself why I'm devoting so much time to this practice? Do I have nothing else to do?!) and sort of managed it, but I'm sure if you put me in front of a crowd of Ethiopians they'd mock me ceaslessly in a 'You call that ululating?' sort of way.

I did ululate recently amongst a crowd of Ethiopians, however, at the end of a fabulous night of uplifting music at the Barbican. While the music was good, the food offered by the Barbican folk was utter crap and unbelievably expensive. It would have made a great punishment for all the grammatically lost souls who've been forcing us pedants to seek solace in chocolate .

having lost all my threads I was on over the weekend due to inactivity, I went searching for them again and am quite shocked to discover that this one has lapsed into somnolence as well, so I thought I'd wake it up again! (Of course, it might not work! )

Thumb, you are a star.

Thinks: maybe I should use this quiet patch to start invoicing my pedantic patients for my invaluable advice and powerful prescriptions.

Okay here goes:

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INVOICE NO 101 TO: EVERYONE ON THIS THREAD (EXCEPT ME)

FOR: FABULOUSLY SUPPORTIVE THERAPY FOR LINGUISTIC EVILS PERPETRATED AGAINST THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE

DATES: FROM NOW UNTIL ETERNITY

COST: 31 BARS OF GREEN AND BLACKS PER MONTH (SPLIT 50/50 BETWEEN MAYA GOLD AND GINGER). IF UNABLE TO MAKE PAYMENT IN CHOCOLATE, £100,000 WILL DO.

PAYMENT TERMS: 30 days

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OMG have I mentioned Hotel Chocolat on this thread? Their champagne choc truffles could thrash Fortnum's into relegation!

....just making an appearance.

I simply felt that if a thread such as this exists, I should place myself upon it's glorious trail.

....one thing I REALLY dislike is the habit of preceding a statement with a row of full stops (in an attempt to create a rakishly conversational air).

Oh, and (over)use of parentheses....

Retired, you are SO cheeky! ...Welcome!!!

Two Hotel Chocolat champagne truffles on yer plate, m'dear. Eat 'em quick, before yer DP finds out.

slight side track into champagne truffles - MrsTH, have you found Booja booja organic ones? absolutely wonderful. Their flambeed banana and cognac ones are pretty fabulous as well.. in fact all of them are! [drooling emoticon]

Everyone could do with a little Booja Booja in their lives .

Oooooh, I need to hang out here more often... but then I do work somewhere in which the men's WC has an actual villanelle on the wall instructing users not to put unwanted items down the toilet. Yes, I did have to look up 'villanelle' as my browser's spellchecker doesn't know the word either.

"We'll have to wait and see how that impacts on our plans for the future."

I'm really hoping that somewhere out there more pedantic than I can tell me that "impact" has, in fact, made the momentous transition to active verb, as then I can move beyond "denial" into the other stages of mourning.

If my children' teachers spell things wrong or make grammatical errors in their reports, I black out briefly. A particularly special example from DS1's report for this latest school term described him as having, in the areas of dance and gymnastics, "god control". And this is a Catholic school too - double whammy.

G&B is on 2 for 2.50 at Sainsbury's this week. I had to walk very fast past the chocolate aisle this morning.

Oh good grief.

Children's.

May I book a session?

Judgement! Judgment. JUDGMENT. J U D G M E N T.

Ooooh That feels better.

I have found preventative chocolate helpful. A generous dose first thing in the morning, just in case...

bluedomino, you might find this page helpful - you might not!

Relevant extract: "judgement vs judgment: judgement is preferred in British English (except in the sense of a judge's decision, in which case "judgment" is preferred), judgment in American English."

Flossie - it might (and again, might not) help to know that impact is a long-standing verb in that it means to pack tightly, wedge together (in medical terms, one can have impacted stools, meaning they are solidly wedged together and refusing to come out) [bleugh]

THe OED online now has this definition [boo!]
verb /impakt/ 1 come into forcible contact with another object. 2 (often impact on) have a strong effect. 3 press firmly. ORIGIN from Latin impingere ?drive something in or at?.
which is sadly lacking the original definition!

Thumb, I'm impressed that you managed to shoehorn a mention of stools into a discussion of grammar!!

3 squares of the finest all round!

Thanks Mrs TH - it's a skill [smirk]

@thumbwitch - of course I now realise that I have been so distressed by the crime that I have failed to report it properly - it is of course "impacts" as active verb without the "on" that upsets me. But clearly so much I can't even bring myself to write it that way.

If the OED online saith it shall be so, I shall take (many many) deep breaths and move on.

Am missing therapy centre - Mrs TH, are you still available for chocolate dispensing consultations? Or have you retired to take up new occupation as hair therapist?
[note to self - must learn to use articles and pronouns in sentences in pedants' corner]