"and me" or "me and"

[Peaceloveandjammydodgers]

I understand the "...and I" or "...and me" rule perfectly well, except I'm never sure whether to say "me and..." or "...and me".
Can anyone help?

Grammatically, you could say "please give it to John and me" or "please give it to me and John", it's just I think some people consider the first more polite (putting the other person first).

I think 'me and JOhn' would be OK for a child, but 'John and me' is more adult. Putting the other person first as DadDadDad said.

Either is correct. There is no grammatical reason why either should go before the other. Nor any other reason. Why would one be more 'adult ' than the other?

actually there is no such thing as 'correct' in English, just usage history.
John and me would sound more 'adult' as it puts the other person first, while a child is all ME ME ME and would say 'me and John'.

Dad and I are going...

Dad and I had fish and chips.

Well, I'm not sure about it being more adult, but I can't agree with holmes saying there is no reason for preferring either order. As I said, some consider one more polite, so whether you agree with that convention or not, that does give a consideration when saying it - do you care if some stuffy people consider you uncouth for saying "me and John"?

I think it's stylistic and depends on flow and emphasis.

Who was the letter addressed to, then?
Me and John, which is weird because he doesn't live here.

When you've finished your painting, don't forget it to show it to John and me.

I'm very pleased to see there's no hard and fast rule I've been flouting. I tend to err towards putting the other person first for exactly the same reason - politeness. But that's a good point about the letter addressed to me and John. If John's name were written first, I suppose it would be addressed to John and me.
Thanks

There may be no rule, but conventional usage is to put the longer subject/object first. So noun before pronoun.