When someone is being nasty and accuses the other person in the conversation of doing exactly what the FIRST person is doing? It's not 'transference', is it?
Have a situation where someone is being both aggressive and passive agressive (a really alarming mix I hadn't realised was possible). They are sending vicious emails (at work) and accusing the OTHER person of sending nasty emails. The cheek of the first person and their lack of self-awareness is astounding. I know there's a word for it but really cannot remember what it is.
(Btw, am trying to tackle the big issue here as well, but the word thing is really bugging me.)