Party etiquette when invited to a party of a 'stranger' from DS1's nursery?

[Ceebee74]

Just received an invite this morning from a little boy who I have never heard of. DS1 has certainly never mentioned him. Have no idea who he is, who his parents are or even how old he is!

I am reluctant to go tbh as it is in a play area - and wouldn't even know who I am looking for when I got there! Have just had DS1's 3rd birthday party and invited 6 children from nursery (4 are his closest friends - although one parent didn't even respond to the invite and I ended up paying for them even though they didn't turn up , one is the DS of a friend of mine and one is the sister of one of DS1's friends and I felt this was plenty). I don't want to get into the habit of attending every single party - is it ok to decline??

yes, just be sure to rsvp on time so they don't pay for you!

My Ds rarely talks about the other children, but when I asked the nursery staff who he plays with to invite them to his party, they had a list, and he was really pleased to have them all there. Why not ask the staff who the little boy is, and how old he is ?

Your DS will surely tell you when he sees his friend when you get to the play area.

As a parent who doesn't know any parents in the area, I'd be upset to think that people wouldn't let their children come to DS's party just because they don't know me

CMOT I can see where you are coming from but DS1 always talks about his friends and who he has been playing with. I guess I am reluctant as it is a Saturday morning and they are quite precious but maybe I should make the effort.

Plimple I will definitely rsvp in time - as I said, one of DS1's friends parents did it to me this weekend and I was not happy!!

I never went to the parties of DS nursery friends if I didn't know the parents. If I could have I probably would have avoided the parties where I did know the parents as I find kids parties a bit of a drag. It's only when they're little that you have a choice of whether to go or not (when they're older they know what they're missing and get annoyed if they can't go) so make the choice the suits you best while you still can.

I would go - I am always of the mindset that people will stop asking at some point. Whereas I understand where you are coming from, you might have a lovely time.

Why on earth don't you want to "get into the habit of attending every single party"? What if this little boy is desperate to be friends with your ds and is really disappointed if he doesn't come? what if his mum wants to make friends with you? Does your ds want to go? It's only a couple of hours!

I'm with bran. Decline politely if you don't want to go.

Seeker I don't want to get into the habit of attending every party as I am guessing (am new to all this 'party' business ) that you then have to reciprocate party invitations and I had 12 children at DS1's party this weekend which was probably about our £££ limit.

DD turned 4 this past Easter and I invited everyone of her age group at her nursery. I didn't really expect all of them to come - I assumed that some would be busy, some children wouldn't want to come etc.

But I always accept invitations if we are free. As we are at work full-time we tend to run our weekends around the children, and DD could not imagine anything better than a party! She loves them so we go... I also find that making an effort to get to know as many nursery parents as possible has really helped now she has entered the phase of playdates and when she goes to school I will know the "schoolgate" mums even though I won't be there to do pick ups/drop offs.

Does your DS enjoy parties? If so then go.

Ceebee74 top tip for reciprocating - next year book the community hall (£20) and an entertainer (£50) and you can invite as many children as you know.

Soft play parties are expensive and the children get REALLY bored of them!

No, you don't have to reciprocate. People either go for the "whole class somewhere cheap" or the "3 friends somewhere expensive" options. There's no need to refuse an invitation because you don't intend to ask back. Anyway this child might be your ds's best buddy by the time his next party comes round!