Bloody handing out of sweets at school on birthdays. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

[LynetteScavo]

DD has finished her tantrum now.

Caused by DS2 being handed a crappy bag of sweets by his teacher as he came out of school.She wanted some. DS gave her one. She was tired from nursery, wanted more, DS said no. Que tantrum.

I didn't particularly want either of them to have them.

I tried tackling this with the school with when DS1 was in reception, and was basically laughed at.

Rant over.

OFGS!! It's a little packet of sweets!! And the younger sibling has a lesson to learn, they aren't your sweets and you should count yourself lucky that you were given one at all!
Surely younger sib has come out of nursery/playgroup with sweets before and not saved half of them for elder sib?
Why should the kids lose the pleasure of the sweets so that you don't have to deal with a simple tantrum??

LynetteScavo, revenge will be sweet

Hand out these whistling lolly

Perfect Mrs Weasly

trafficcone

'little packet of sweets'

30 kids in class

30 weeks in school year

once a week

one day in 5

NO THANKS

DD has neve come out of nursery with sweets.

And it didn't feel like a simple tantrum when I was trying to strap her into the car.

Quite a lot never take in sweets. My DSs all have birthdays in the holidays (one always and 2 mainly)-we managed to miss the whole thing. I have never known the whole class do it.
Since it is nothing to do with the school perhaps you could start a playground campaign and get other parents on your side. Get a class list and ask them all. I suspect that you might discover why the school doesn't get involved!

abby regardless of parental opinion the school is there for the kids - hey should support healthy eating

NotAnOtter you really haven't read the thread on fruit that took place over the last couple of days! It got very unpleasant and I was attacked from many sides because people were furious that the schools were daring to dictate that the DCs could only take fruit for break, it infringed their human rights and smacked of the nanny state and they were demanding their rights to send junk a snack of their choice. I thought they should support healthy eating, as did many others but it was like banging your head against a brick wall. In the light of that it would take a brave school to ban birthday sweets! Some have done it but not many. This thread has many who don't want the sweets but in RL you are the minority, I could have done with your help on the fruit thread!
You try organising the parents in the playground and good luck-you might be pleasantly surprised but I doubt it.

Well, actually, DS1's intolerances are one of the reasons I would like snacks other than fruit to be allowe - he can't eat much fruit or he gets reactions. He's in Y6 now and doesn't need frequent small meals anymore, so I don't care.

DS2's class's birthdays are concentrated before Christmas and in June and July - so from now till the end of term DS2 gets sweets twice a week.

What a joyless world you would wish upon our children

A few sweets now and again are not going to ruin a child's health or teeth!

I find all this sugar obsession thing, really, really boring and unimaginative wearing!

this mumsnet rant about ' sweets being ok and enyone who does not think so is a bore' really bores me

yawn

AbbeyA - just to clarify, I was the orig poster on the fruit thread and I did not want to send my kids with junk just some dried apple crisps. I also have a problem in that I have twins in different classes and the mums in one of them are very generous (at least once a week) in handing over Haribos etc (which are complete shite, I personally only let my kids have organic dark chocolate!) - for the teachers to hand out in the same school that only allows FRESH fruit for snacks (but serves, chips, choc pud and ice cream for lunches) - while my other DS very rarely gets any and this leads to tears and tantrums and I really get pissed off about it. I feel that it is my human right to give my kids sweets when I feel they deserve them . Talk about double standards (yours and the schools) and no, I did not find out whether it was a policy for them to hand out sweets before I decided to send them there so I should probably move schools, should'nt I? I really need to go back to work so don't have so much time to waste reading the crap on this site.

I have come to the conclusion that any food is such an emotive issue that schools should steer clear!
I could point out lonelymom that if everyone does their own thing at break there is nothing to stop your DC swapping their apple crisps for something that isn't organic chocolate-you wouldn't know because it isn't something they would be likely to tell you! A Times survey found that 60% of children swapped food at school and a huge percentage threw things in the bin so they hadn't eaten the food their parents fondly imagined they had eaten. At least if it is fruit only you know that your DC hasn't been eating someone else's junk.
School's don't have a policy on birthday sweets, they have nothing to do with the school. If you want to stop the Harobos speak to the Mum direct.
I think that fruit is a simple blanket rule. Healthy snack is open to such wide interpretation. I would never buy apple crisps but I wouldn't get hung up on organic chocolate. We are all different. Schools try their best in difficult circumstances. The mother with the Haribos is your big problem-talk to her.

Abbey, my whole complaint is that the school IS involved.

Mrs X, the worshipped reception teacher, handed out sweets that I'd taught DS1 were for parties only every bloody week of reception.
When I stuck to not buying them in the shops, he turned round and said "Mrs X gives them to us"!!!!

So yes, schools, keep out of it please. Your influence on the children is huge when they are four, and you have undermined the efforts I made at home completely.

It would open a can of worms lingle.
I don't know what other teachers do but I suspect that it is similar to me.
The birthday child comes in all excited, often with a badge and often clutching a large bag of sweets. I chat to them about their birthday and put the sweets in a safe place. I try to make them a bit special during the day and at the end we all sing 'Happy Birthday'. I get the birthday DC to stand by the door with the sweets, I tell the DCs that it would be polite to say thank you and wish a happy birthday, from past experience, I often say that if they don't like the sweets the polite thing to do is say 'Happy Birthday' and pass by. I really don't see what else I can do-tell the DC that we don't want sugar rubbish in school? I am not prepared to do it.
It would take a brave Head to ban it, the fact that your DC gets so many sweets must tell you that parents want to do it. Feelings would run so high that those who felt the strongest would stand by the school gate and hand them out!
You need to go round the playground at the end of the day and get parental support to stop doing it. I wouldn't do it as a parent, I would be setting myself up to be called a pious, interfering, busybody-and I wouldn't be anonymous as on here!
Your poor reception teacher is going with the flow and I for one don't blame her!

So are there people out there who genuinely wouldn't mind their DCs having a packet of cola bottles every day? Interesting.

I'm also interested in the sugar= fun idea.

Maybe DH and I are just kill joys for not subscribing to "Lots of sweets and crazy frog played very loud is the best fun ever."

AbbeyA - why can't heads just say 'please don't bring in gifts of food (sweets, cake or anything else for that matter) for other children onto the school premises as we will not be able to give them out due to allergies and dietary restrictions'. Wouldn't that make your life easier?
And then think of some other way of celebrating birthdays with the children in the class.
I don't want my kids never to experience sweets (fat chance!) but I also don't want them being given sweets on a regular basis and, importantly, for this to be endorsed by authority figures at school.

My thoughts exactly elliot!

Our blooming reception TEACHER gave out bags of sweets for HER birthday!
I am definitely going to bring this up at parent's evening.

Elliot I was just about hung, drawn and quartered on here for saying that I agreed with Heads, only allowing fruit to be eaten on school property at break time! I don't know whether it is mumsnet etiquette to refer to other threads but since people keep asking why the schools don't ban it I suggest you read here
If you read the strong feeling on here ,I think schools would be mad to get involved in something which is done at the end of the day.
Lonelymom is still telling me that her DCs should be allowed to have apple crisps rather than an apple. I was intrigued by apple crisps and so sought them out in Tesco today. I was going to try them but they were 49p a small packet and that was on special offer! It said 35p for 10g, I worked out an apple is less than 2p per 10g. My DCs would have to eat an ordinary apple or go hungry! They also contain preservatives.
The sweets are coming from the parents. Get a class list from school and tackle the parents.

Ds's school allow nothing at all to be given out except Christmas cards and even they have to be 'posted' into a box to be handed out. Birthday cards, presents and treats are strictly forbidden. Saves lots of upset me thinks.

Abbey - our school does not hand out class lists for confidentiality reasons - and not all parents are in the playground at 3pm.

And I don't think you could have one class handing out sweets, and another not. A referendum for the parents on the handing out of sweets?

I haven't read the other thread and can't be bothered tbh.
But, I do think its a different issue, regulating what children bring in to eat themselves, and regulating what is brought in to be given (unasked) to OTHER children. And the teachers are certainly implicated as they do the handing out.
I can't see that there would be a problem with asking kids not to bring in food intended for other children. It seems common sense to me.

I would say that it was it was common sense elliot and a good thing, however having taken part in the other thread I can assure you that it would be a massive problem in some areas. Human rights came were mentioned, Rosa Parkes and American apartheid all because schools ask pupils to eat fruit at break!!
Certain people on there would be up in arms at schools interfering with what they feel is a private matter. You are lulled in here because most people are agreeing with you, you would find in RL that it is not the case. I was called obtuse and pious among other things just for saying that I thought schools had every right to dictate what is eaten on their premises, especially as they would prefer to teach DCs on fruit rather than a 'sugar high'.
Of course teachers are implicated as they hand them out, I have already explained that I am not going to spoil a DCs birthday.
I appreciate the class list confidentiality and that you might not be there at the end of the day but there is nothing to stop you printing out a sheet with your proposals and asking parents to vote. I expect the Head would be only too pleased if you proved that parents are against it and would be happy to ban it, however I don't think that is the case and I don't see why the school should get in the firing line of what is a private matter while you sit back and do nothing. The parents are the ones that send it in, if they all felt like you there would be no problem. It wasn't done when I was at school but then we didn't have snacks of any sort either.

DS lovez getting sweets on other childrens birthdays and can't wait for it to be his birthday so he can hand his own out.

Apologies if any of your DC are in his class.