Should I cancel my child’s third birthday party if turnout is low?

[Dbrook]

My child is turning 3 soon and I decided to throw a softplay party and invite her nursery friends and some of our NCT/ other friends.
Problem is only one or two of our actual friends can come so it’s looking like it will be a bunch of the nursery parents who I barely know. And only around 8-10 kids in total.

Having a wobble about how awkward it might be. We’ve been to some nursery parties but they were big ones full of extended family and friends. Think they’ll wonder what on earth I did this party for.

Would you cancel? I have to pay the balance soon so have to decide pretty swiftly.

It feels awkward to cancel but I figure they’ll just move on with their day and not care.

I wouldn't cancel, no. 8-10 kids is fine, a nice amount for a party.

If you'd enjoy it carry on, if you and your little one would have more fun doing something else than cancel. Other parents won't be bothered, they'll just cross it off the calendar.

No I wouldn't, id use the time to try to make new friends. Sometimes smaller parties can be amazing as the kids will have loads of space

Agree, with PP, I think that’s an ideal number for a party. Not too overwhelming for the children plus easier for you to (a) supervise and (b) spend a bit of time getting to know the nursery parents.

You are over thinking this. Of course nobody will be thinking ‘why on earth did she throw this party’. The kids will have a lovely time and the parents will be grateful for a fun activity to take their pre schooler to for a couple of hours. I wouldn’t cancel at all.

Would you think it was weird to go to a
party where the parents had barely any of their own friends/ family there? My daughter is beginning to think about friends but there’s also a strong chance she would just play by herself or want to play with me the whole time.

Sounds like it will be a nice party. It's for your child and I am sure they will be chuffed that their friends are there. This is the perfect opportunity to get to know some of your child's nursery parents - assuming you're up for that. At only 3 they're not even at primary school yet but this could help you form friends with the parents who may well be on the same school pre-school/primary school journey as you.

A smaller party will be so much nicer - less overwhelming for the children and less work for you. I’d go ahead even with one ‘actual’ friend and a few of the kids from nursery, who presumably your little one like playing with? With less people you’ll have the chance to get to know people better for the future.

in terms of what they will think, probably nothing at all! Not everyone has a large family, and in fact it’s quite common to have a separate kids party for school/nursery friends and a birthday tea/bbq or something at home with family members on another day.

I never had family at my kids parties as they didn't live near and most friends were from school/nursery. Do not overthink it.

Not at all! Your DD will have fun and that's the main part. TBH I've always been too frantically busy at DC parties to socialise with any adults and felt like an utterly terrible adult host, but TBH the adults aren't the point. The children are.

You're overthinking massively.

Completely normal to have a party of nursery people only.

8-10 is a great number.

She will play the way kids her age play, that's fine.

Are you ok in yourself? Because your worries seem misplaced.

Thanks all. I am definitely guilty of being an overthinker. The world of toddler birthdays is brand new to me so trying to figure out what’s normal.

No, you can get to know the parents who are there

We lived in the centre of a major city when DC1 was 3 and the majority of his nursery friends had at least one parent who wasn’t British, often 2, so no I wouldn’t think it was remotely weird to not have family/close friends of the parents there. Even now, when we live in a smaller town with different demographics, I still wouldn’t think it was weird.

8-10 is plenty! It gets hellish beyond that. Enjoy!

At 3 they don’t have friends they have people they play beside.

the excitement for your child is having a party. She won’t care who is there

dont cancel

Also, thinking about past parties I’ve been to when my kids were small, it can feel a bit weird and cliquey at some of them with loads of family members and cousins etc if you are a friend from school and don’t know the family that well, like you are an outsider.

Can’t imagine going to a kids party and wishing there were more people I didn’t know there!

Tbh, I think all of the kids at DD's 3rd and 4th birthday were nursery friends. And her 6th birthday was all school friends.

Never even questioned it as they were her friends and people she spends aot of time with... 🤷

Sounds the perfect size for a party.

As they get older it’s completely normal for the guests to be friends with parents you don’t know. Sadly the period when their birthday party is a chance to see your own mates doesn’t last long 😂

I met one of my closest friends at a nursery party. You get chatting to people. The youngest i have thrown a bday party for my kids is 4 though.

I’ve literally just come back from a 4th birthday party that was all nursery friends. It’s normal. It’s also normal to have other friends there, but really not remotely noteworthy if there isn’t.
I’ve been to plenty of toddler parties that are just the whole nursery class.

8-10 is a perfect amount! Any more it would be much more difficult to control.

OP, your little person is three - it’s all about them. They will have a whale of a time with 8 -10 friends, and the other parents will think you (very sensibly) decided to have a small party. Everybody happy!

Nope not at all. I'd just assume this was a small party for their nursery friends and think nothing of it. Are you hiring out a hall and hosting a soft play session or are you booking a soft play session at a dedicated soft play centre?

Honestly, no. It’s a party for the kids, there’s no expectation to have a bevy of doting aunties, etc, just hanging about.
The nursery kids are the ones he’s most familiar with, he’ll have a great time, they all will.