rant alert

[pukkapatch]

i spent more on the friggin party bags than this woman spent on the single poundshop tat for a pressie she gave.
and i gave a party bag to her younger child.
and the worst of it is, it's not in my character to actually be annoyed about this. i am trying to work up some annoyance, but its only really theoretical. i was brought up to give generously, and presents are always meant to be what you yourself would like to receive. so when dd goes to her party in two weeks time, i wil lbe spending my usual 5 to 10 quid on the pressie.
and dh bought her dh coffee as well.

hmph!
no one interesed in my ranting. you lot mmust all be related to dh.

hmm, maybe she hasn't got as much money as you ?

nope. no one in tht school is on the breadline. their clothes look good, etc etc. its just that's what she thinks is appropriate for a present.

and you know wha tthe really really funny thing is, the dc have been playing with this toy all evening. so in a round about way, it's actually the best pressie she has had.

i guess its what we think is appropriate then. I can understand the annoyance, of the thought bit.

what is the gift? might be a winner, if the kids love it!!

its two handheld baskets with light plastic balls, that you click sort of like a gun,and the balls fly out and you have to catch with the other hand held basket thing.

they are still playing with them.

oh i remember having one of those yrs ago.

ah well. Maybe, just maybe you could consider spending a bit less, depending on how many parties your children go to.?? I know its hard cos things do cost alot, and finding something unique, is also a trial.

maybe she got a job lot

Perhaps your kids are less materialistic than you are. Perhaps the other mum understands whar kids like and buy accordingly (rather than to impress the parents).

problem is that if i dont give a present, dh wont let me give less than a tenner in cash. so a pressie is cheaper. and i couldnt give something from the poundshop, anymore than i could eat lunch in front of friend who has just dropped in without offering her a sandwich as well. iyswim. and buying anything for less than a fiver isnt easy.
its like when dh always gets drinks/food for the parents. none of the other parents do, but because of hte way he wasbrought up, it feels wrong to him not to offer the other adults staying. its just part of his character that make s him wh o he is, iyswim. and as long as we can afford it, thats ok.
maybe dd wont want to go?

scatty, i wish my kids were not materialistic! they hhave never been accused of being non materialistic before.

as i said in my original post, i'm not actually bothered by it. more a bit shocked that she seems to think it is appropriate. i would personally not give a present, and make a really nice card, or bake some cookies or something like that if i couldnt afford to buy a present. i think that when you give something, it should be with your whole heart andshould be something that you would like to recieve yourself. iyswim.

Well obviously it was appropriate as your kids are enjoying playing with it.

And obviously you are bothered by it.

You do sound materialistic, sorry.

thank you for that stripey.
so its not possible to have a converstaion about someone elses atypical behaviour then , without being accused of being materialistic?

I think you sound quite pathetic to be brutally honest.
My children are well dressed and I would not appear to be hard up but I am. My children take presents to parties that have cost me very little, because I know they are things that will be enjoyed by the child they are given to, and price shouldn't be the issue.

hmm, lets see now then, last week we went to a wedding. the food was atrocious. they spent a fortune on it too. so the fact that i mention that also makes me materialistic. oh, and lets not forget, my simply mentioning the fact that iwent to a wedding, and one such as that makes me materialistic? i happen to know how much it cost as well. does that make me materialistic.

ooo, and i recognised the shops that some of the kids party dressess came form. i guess that also makes me materialistic.

hell, i did a party for a five year old in the first place. that must make me materialistic as well.

But you do sound like you are being materialistic.

Your OP was concerned with the cost of the gift. Who cares? The child for whom the gift was bought is happy with it.

pillock, thank you for calling me pathetic.
having a conversation on the net about something that happened in rl must make one pathetic after all.

had you bothered to actually read the original post, you would know that i am NOT bothered by the price of it. but am observing the woman's curiously antisocial behaviour.
but hey, that makes me pathetic in your eyes,. who am i to argue with that.

because it is something completley and utterly out of the norm.
if someone turns up in scruffy, dirty jeans and t shirt to a black tie event. would you not notice it? and not have aconverstatin about it on mn? its exactly the same sort of thing. it doesnt mean you are judging them. just questioning their social antennae.

I would never complain about the cost of a gift given to my child. Its an appalling example to set.

And your OP was overly preoccupied with the cost of the gift, the reference to "poundshop tat", and the comparing of the cost to that of the party bags.

So materialistic is IMO a fair word to use.

Oh well its not out of my norm. Hell, I've given gifts that have come from second hand shops, and out of skips.

So long as the recipient enjoys the gift, whats the problem?

It is NOT curious behaviour at all. Turning up without a present would have been odd I would think.

You can say the price didn't bother you but your OP suggests otherwise, or you would not have made the reference to it that you did.

yes, next time someone turns up to a black tie wedding, wearing dirty scruffy clothes. and make an observation about that, i will be judging theire material wealth. and not the fact that they cant be bothered to show enough respect to the hosts to come in CLEAN clothes, having had a shower.
oh well. i'm materialistic then. since i am also boasting on mn that i can afford to have a birthdya for dd. or even that i can afford to go attend weddings.

and lets not forget childish, because i am upset at someone calling me something that i most definitly am not. but seem to have managed to give the impression that i am.
o well.

so i cant make an observation about something without having strong feelings about it?
lets see, its cold right now. does that mean i am bothered about it? no. it just means i have noted it. and exactly so i noted that i had spent more on the party bags than this woman had spent on the present.
its an observation. not a passionate religious beleif.

I give ds1 birthday parties. It's me that misses out on things, not my children.

It does not show disrespect to bring a present that cost less than you might spend so you cannot compare it to your example. She obviously thought your child would love it and get enjoyment from it (which you have admitted she did) and as such it was a very well thought out present.

well, i would not give a present that came out of a skip. i would have abit more respect for the person i was giving it to. if icouldnt afford a new gift, then i would make one myself, using cheap or free materials. or i wouldnt give a gift at all.
picking something out of the garbage and passing that on is in my opinion extremely disrespectful

What, even if the person to whom it was given was delighted with it? Even if it was exactly what they wanted?

i would have a bit more respect for myself than to give a present that was picked up from garbage.
i'd perfectly happily get stuff for me from second hand shps, and have a perfectly reasonable set of shelves fo rmyself that i picked out of a skip. but i would never in a gazillion years give something out of the garbage to someone else as a present.
sheeesh.