Help please! DD1 going to her first birthday TOMORROW . Do I leave her alone at the party and do I send her in pullups?

[hotmama]

Just had a discussion with dp - now all sixs and sevens IYKWIM!

Dd1 is 3 in October, she has been invited to a little girl from Nurserys party. I have already checked with the mum re leaving dd1 and any requirements in what presents NOT to give.

The mum was quite relaxed and said it was fine to leave dd1.

However, now I'm thinking is she too young? I wouldn't leave her anywhere else by her own esp as I don't know the parents - but are parents of a girl from the day nursery. Is it acceptable to stay?

Also dd1 is in the throes of potty training - doing very well and has progressed to no pull-ups for her lunchtime nap etc.

Should I send her in pants or pullups - what's the protocol etc.

Please help as the party is tomorrow!

Personally, I wouldn't leave her, but if you decide that you're happy to do so, then go ahead. I would put her in pull ups of you do leave her though, the mum might not be as 'on the ball' about doing a toilet run with her, if she's busy entertaining others. Also dd might well 'forget' she needs a wee if she's having too much fun.

I too wouldn't like to leave my ds with people I didn't know well. Is it at their house? I'd stay and help out, pouring drinks, mopping up spilt drinks, spliting up fights etc haha

OK - I'm in the throes of potty training myself.

On that issue, I would be inclined to put her in pull-ups for the party. Then straight back to potty-training on her return!

I say this because my 2.8 yo ds went to a neighbour's today, and did a wee on the carpet. He was really upset, mortified. So take the pressure off for the sake of the party. She'll be embarrassed if she has an accident.

With regards to leaving her on her own, it depends on the individual child. For what it's worth, I haven't done it yet either. I think my child is pretty independent, but I've yet to put it fully to the test.

You have a mobile, I presume. Leave her, and assume that if there's a problem, someone will call you.

I hope it all goes well for you tomorrow.

But definitely pull-ups.

I dont see why the mum would have a problem with you staying if you would prefer. Any parties I've been to with dd1 (3) most of the parents have stayed anyway.

If you do decide to leave her then I wouldnt be tempted to put a nappy or pullups on her as this will tend to confuse her - from asking for the toilet to - its ok to wet yourself today kind of thing. iyswim

I didn't leave either of mine at a party until they were about 4 (ds2) or 5 (PFB ds1 )- no-one will think it odd if you stay and if you are happier staying then do!

If you don't stay then I'd put her in pull-ups - if you do stay you could see how she goes on with pants (take spare clothes etc- as you will be there to change her if she has an accident. I think it would be a bit much to ask the other Mum to do that - she'll be busy with the party).

It's really one of those things where you have to decide how you feel - if you're happy to leave her then do, but my experience has been that parents of under 5s generally stay.

Hi hotmama - given that you wouldn't leave her anywhere else & the uncertainty with potential wee accidents, I would hang round, if you possibly can & can bear it! There are sure to be other parents or other adults (family members?) staying. You never know, you might have a really nice time with the other grown ups, & at least you'll be there to deal with any potty issues diplomatically & discreetly, should they arise.

I would just say to the mum that you've decided to stay because of the potty training - it's very unlikely that she would mind. For what it's worth, I always stayed with DD at nursery parties, & have only just started leaving her (at the end of 1st year at school)

Incidentally, it is DD's 5th birthday & party tomorrow too. Wish me luck!

Personally I wouldn't leave a potty-training 2yo at a party. Round here, it seems to be the fourth birthday parties which are the turning point - at 3rd birthdays parents stay, at 4th some leave, some stay.

Wouldn't put a potty training child in pull-ups, either, risk of major confusion.

Will she be upset if she has an accident in a sort of public place and you/dh aren't there to help?

I would stay with her, say something to the mum along the lines of "Oh, I was going to be brave and leave her, but I just don't feel right, hope you don't mind, silly me" and tbh I would probably put her in pullups just for peace of mind (hers and yours). You can still toilet her as often as you normally would, there's no law against taking a child to the toilet in pullups

Moo's made a very good point about parents of birthday child being a tad busy to cope with other children having potty training accidents.

Thanks for all your posts.

I rang the mum yesterday morning. Apparently, there were only going to be 3 other guests plus the party girl's brother - the mum had purposely kept it small. So I felt quite calm that the parents could cope with 4 pary training girls!

As it was going to be a lovely day, they were going to spend most of the party in the garden anyway - and she was putting a potty out there anyway.

So I took dd1 (in her beautiful new party dress to her first proper party ) in pants! (She had done a huge pooh in the potty just before we left phew!)

I stayed with her for about 10 mins then the other mums started leaving so I did - dd1 wasn't the slightest bit bothered. I vaguely knew the other mums from dd1's nursery.

Picked her up and she had a lovely time - and no accidents.