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Parties/celebrations

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Original poster

Party invitation says "No need to bring a present"

281 replies

FrannyandZooey · 13/03/2007 14:55

If you got an invitation with this on, what would you think about it? And would you take a present, or not?

OP posts:
AitchYouBerk · 14/03/2007 20:48

what i meant, franny, was that something like ceolas' suggestion "No need to bother about presents, it will just be lovely to see you" would do the trick for me. as in it's not their cash you're after, but their company.

what you seem to be missing, though, is that for people who don't have children and therefore don't attend lots of children's parties it is a lot of fun to go toy shopping, so i would ignore your instruction anyway.

gorgonzolasouffle · 14/03/2007 20:49

I think there are a lot of people who are in the same boat as you Franny and are sick of the cheap crap that people bring to parties as presents.

I dont see why you couldnt start a new trend and put in the invite a little piece of paper saying,

Rather than bring a present this year, we wondered if you would bring a plate of ....(Fairycakes, sausage rolls etc)

I would not be offended by this at all.

I think contributions to a big present is also a great idea. 30 kids putting in £3 each = £90!! could buy something fab with that!

Original poster
FrannyandZooey · 14/03/2007 20:55

still loads of assumptions that I am doing this because I don't like presents or because I don't want tat

Ceolas YES that is actually what I would like to do, but it seems mean because I know ds would rather have a present, and it's not fair to say "look DON'T bring a present but DO bring food"

VVV because the food is the only bit I struggle with - I love organising big parties and I love arranging the games and the crafts etc

I actually love organising the food but I can't physically make, store and transport this amount of food easily at all....so there is my problem

Aitch I meant the bit about you saying someone was a freak

did you mean me?

OP posts:
AitchYouBerk · 14/03/2007 20:56

god, no. sorry that must have been an unfortunate x-post. no, i was talking about greeny's 'one present per child per party' woman.

Hulababy · 14/03/2007 20:58

Franny - that is why I do food boxes. Have between 20 and 25 coming this year, and find the whole food box thing far easier, esp the transporting of it - all fit neatly in back of car

bran · 14/03/2007 20:58

I think you need to sort the invitees into sub-groups F&Z.

group 1: Family or people whose taste you like and for whose children you expect to buy presents at birthday parties in the future, but who don't fit into group 2 - send them an ordinary invitation

group 2: People who can cook - send them an invite and put a note in saying "DD loves your cooking so much that she would be thrilled if you would bring some of your famous xxxx (insert dish here) instead of a present"

group 3: People you don't know very well or who are likely to give you vile presents - put "no need to bring a present/no presents expected" on the invite.

Lastly, make sure that none of the groups mingle or talk to each other at the party.

AitchYouBerk · 14/03/2007 20:59

would you not be handing over most of the party invites by hand? cna't you just say to people?

VeniVidiVickiQV · 14/03/2007 21:04

AH, I see. This is where local mumsnetters often come in handy.

I think you may have to ask family to help out with the food thing. You stick to making the things you really like, and ask family/close friends to make some food too and bring along.

Original poster
FrannyandZooey · 14/03/2007 21:08

"would you not be handing over most of the party invites by hand? cna't you just say to people?"

god no, I will be posting them

half the invitees are people I see at various groups - if I give out invites at the group I will have to ask EVERYONE and have about 100 families

"I think you may have to ask family to help out with the food thing"

at idea that any of my family will be invited

OP posts:
AitchYouBerk · 14/03/2007 21:09

food is easy-peasy, just ask your good pals to bring something they do well, then all you do is a pile of chilli, fajitas, roasted peppers, guacamole, grated cheese, salsa etc. we did this for my mum's party the other day and it was a breeze. lots of dips, chopped veggies, a couple of plates of caprese, some other salads, (i made a great carrot, coriander and sesame one if i say so myself.)
stick with peasant food and you'll be fine. can you ahndle cooking meat cos there's a great chicken wings recipe in nigella that you just put in the oven. or do you have a garden, can you barbeque?

Original poster
FrannyandZooey · 14/03/2007 21:09

bran you seem to have a knack for this

OP posts:
AitchYouBerk · 14/03/2007 21:10

gotcha about the invites.

Original poster
FrannyandZooey · 14/03/2007 21:10

Nah, it is in a church hall and I am veggie

it will be ok, look I am not panicking about the food today, just the invitation

can we stick to the proper agenda please??

OP posts:
Polgara2 · 14/03/2007 21:11

Can I just say that my dd's would be upset if they didn't take a present to a party (for whatever reason ) - they like giving presents. AND as has been mentioned further down - they would be mortified if they didn't get them at their own parties . Anyhow agree with OO.

AitchYouBerk · 14/03/2007 21:12

freak

Original poster
FrannyandZooey · 14/03/2007 21:12

Yes that's fine Polgara I will not be making any children cry because they were not allowed to take a present

There are lots of little ones coming so the party is going to finish around 6, so I thought buffet tea style things mostly

oh god you have got me thinking about the food

OP posts:
Original poster
FrannyandZooey · 14/03/2007 21:13

see you said it AGAIN

OP posts:
AitchYouBerk · 14/03/2007 21:15

whoops, that was to franny for being a veggie.
look, franny, people like bringing presents. before DD i flipping LOVED going shopping for my friends' kids' presents. loved it, honest. it's such a nice feeling, being generous to a child and seeing their wee face light up.

Roobie · 14/03/2007 21:15

I don't think you need to tell people that they are not obligated to bring a present. Of course they probably will do but the very definition of present-giving is at odds with the concept of being obliged to do so. I'd just go with the flow and not assume that people will feel pissed off at 'having' to buy a present and need ot be let off the hook somehow.

Polgara2 · 14/03/2007 21:16

Oh dear wasn't inferring that you would F&Z . S'alright, I'll get me coat!!

AitchYouBerk · 14/03/2007 21:16

by the way your idea of painting the money boxes sounds absolutely charming.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 14/03/2007 21:17

oh lord, you arent going to start dictating that the thread must NOT divert from the OP are you?

Oh arse, i've just realised....i need to get dp to transfer some money to you......

Original poster
FrannyandZooey · 14/03/2007 21:17

YES YES YES YES

look where have I said people should not bring presents??? Find me ONE post where I have said "I don't want people to bring presents, and I hope they don't bring presents, and I am doing this so DS WILL GET NO PRESENTS"

OP posts:
AitchYouBerk · 14/03/2007 21:17

she was joking, polgara! don't be sad...

Original poster
FrannyandZooey · 14/03/2007 21:17

sorry rude post was entirely to Aitch. The Berk

OP posts: